We haven't heard from Disney legal officially. We really don't care what they think. They can't erase our memories and hopefully every Mesa Verde Times fan has saved our pics and writings. They're too late now and this is still America.
We have heard from several Imagineers, Pixar guys, and tons of WDW people who miss Horizons. We get hits from Burbank, Emeryville, Anaheim, Orlando, everyday. We hope they're inspired by Horizons and use the inspiration in their work.
During all of your WDW adventures, were you afraid of being caught and sent to jail, or worse, banned from WDW parks for life? If not, what was it that made you so confident that you could do this without getting noticed? Rumor is that every ride in WDW has a ton of hidden cameras…
There wasn't one time that we weren't afraid of getting caught or killed. Every Horizons trip was dangerous and we want to make that clear. I guess our will to learn outweighs our sense of self preservation :)
What are the weirdest/scariest/funniest things you found in all of your exploring around WDW?
Chief found Snow White's head in 1986 for no reason. We found a black rubber penis in the fridge in Horizons. We found a message from a friend while crawling around in the filth of Pirates of the Caribbean. We found condoms more than anything.
No, the breasts and nipples could not be seen from the ride vehicle!
What advice would you give to someone who wanted to explore the rides today? Post 9/11, is it even still possible to do what you guys did?
Understand that you might die. Being caught is nothing but being killed is very real.
Years later, are you all proud of what you did? Any regrets?
Of course! We're totally proud. We regret that we didn't get to World of Motion before it closed :(
Any future explorations planned?
We're exploring right now :) Stay tuned.
Epilogue
So there you have it, a guide for a trip to Walt Disney World unlike any other you’ve taken before. Chances are you’ve been offended multiple times, shocked more than a few, and said “me gusta” more often than you’d care to admit. That sort of varied reaction goes to show that WDW is a place where people of all ages and backgrounds can enjoy themselves, however outside the norm their idea of a good time might be.
But let’s make a solemn promise to maintain a code of ethics, a “do no harm” policy that upholds the right of every visitor to WDW to enjoy themselves, and to not have their vacation spoiled by those engaged in the “alternative” activities described in this book. By abiding by this code, we can best realize Walt’s dream of an EPCOT-esque utopia, one where people of all creeds can live harmoniously together. WDW is vast enough in scope and imagination to accommodate that dream, and regardless of how much we fly outside the realm of conventional theme-park morality, we still have to respect the fact that a lot of other people have saved up a long time to experience their idea of utopia.
It should also go without saying that I don’t advocate anyone engaging in illegal activities inside WDW. If you break the law and get caught, it’s all on you. So before attempting anything in this book that might be potentially illegal, ask yourself, “Is the fun and excitement of participating in this illegal activity worth the potential negatives that would come with getting caught, landing in jail, and having a misdemeanor/felony charge on my record?” Obviously some of our interviewed subjects thought the risk/reward ratio was well in their favor, and chose to engage in various illegal activities. But that doesn’t mean that everyone has the same threshold, and if you’re the father of three kids, living month-to-month, and working as a clergyman or some other such high-profile position, it might be best if you took a step back from those Utilidor entrances, refrained from using a one-hitter in The Haunted Mansion, and tried to keep your clothes on during that monorail ride from The Magic Kingdom to Epcot.
Well, that’s enough from me for now. Feel free to follow my further escapades at the blog section of www.darksideofdisney.com. Since changes happen so frequently at WDW, there are parts of this book that might be out of date by the time it hits the presses, so the blog will also be where I’ll call to light any significant changes to the parks that affect the tips, tricks, and scams referenced herein. The website will also be a perfect place for anyone to post their love letters or hate-filled diatribes about the content of the book for all the world to see. I’ll do my best to respond to everyone in kind, unless you’re just a total asshole, in which case I’ll post a scathingly witty retort and then block you from ever posting on the site again. And if you love the book, I’m more than open to speaking at your event or acting as your own personal tour guide through the dark side of WDW… for the right price, of course.
So until we meet again, enjoy your debauchery-filled vacation at The Happiest Place on Earth!
Acknowledgements
I’d like to thank the following people, without whom this book wouldn’t be possible:
My wife, for dealing with and actually embracing my Disney obsession, and for designing the awesomely kick ass cover art.
My good friends, McGeorge and Newmeyer, for their company, support, and courage during those tense early adventures where it seemed like we were always one step away from landing ourselves in DisJail.
All of the WDW fanboy sites out there for providing a wealth of information, including but certainly not limited to mouseplanet.com, miceage.com, allears.net, wdwmagic.com, and disboards.com.
Everyone who read the multiple revisions of this book, made comments and suggestions, and in some cases acted as full-on editors. Sorry I can’t mention you all by name, but if I did the jig would be up with a quick FB search, and anonymity must be preserved at all costs to avoid the wrath of Disney Police and angry fanboys!
Jonas Kyle-Sidel, for his excellent layout work. If anyone else out there needs a layout artist who does great work on a limited budget, Jonas is your man!
Draven Star, our awesome and gorgeous cover model, and Alan Partlow, the talented photographer for that shoot. What a fun day that was!
Justin Callaghan, creator of the “Florida Project” and “Waltograph” fonts, for making them available for commercial use at such an affordable price.
Hoot Gibson, Shane Perez, Chris Mitchell, and my Cast Member friends, for taking the time to contribute to this book, asking for nothing in return except for the occasional handjob and/or bag of blow.
And finally, my mother, for spending her hard-earned cash to spoil me and my sister with many, many trips to WDW, igniting a lifelong passion and thus (probably to her dismay) being the main reason this book exists.
Index
(Please use the Find key to locate the specific reference pages)
AAA Diamond Pass
ADA
Alligators
Animatronic
Ants
ASCII map
Atlantic Dance Club
Back entrances
Bar Crawl
Bed Bugs
Bidnip
Biergarten
Biometric finger scan
Boardwalk, The
Boat Rides
British Revolution
Buffet
Buzz Lightyear
California Grill
Cameras
Caribbean Beach Resort
Carousel of Progress
CityWalk
College Program
Commons, The
Companion Restrooms
Condoms
Cosmic Ray’s
Cypress Cove
David’s Vacation Club
Delta Sky Club
Dinosaur
Disabilities
Discovery Island
Disney Dining Plan
Disney Jail
Disney Vacation Club
Downtown Disney
Drink Tickets
Driving
eBay
Ecstasy
Escorts
FastPass
Fingerbang
Firecrackers
Flash Mountain
Food and Wine Festival
Four Season Salute
Free Dining
Free parking
Fridge Swap
Front of the Line
Furries
FutureWorld East
Garden Grocer
Gay Days
George Hamilton
Giordano’s Pizza
Google Maps
Great Movie Ride, The
Guest Assistance Card
Haunted Mansion
Hoot Gibson
Horizons
Hot tub
House of Blues
It’s a Small World
Jellyrolls
Journey Into Your Imagination
Jumping the gate
Kick old people
Kilimanjaro Safari
Lifer
Living with the Land
Love Bugs
Magic Your Way ticket
Magical Express
Main Entrance Pass
Marijuana
Merchandise
MesaVerdeTimes
Mizner’s Lounge
Monorail Girl
MouseOwners
MouseSavers
MrRebates
Muppet
Naegleria Fowleri
Night Ranger
Norway Cast Members
Nudist Resort
O’Hana
Off Kilter
Off-Site
Orange County Sheriff
Orlando Love Loft
PayPal
Pecos Bill’s
Peter Pan’s Flight
PhotoPass
Pin Trading
Pleasure Island
Polynesian, The
Pool Hopping
Refillable Mugs
Resort Monorail
Restaurant.com
Roaches
Secret Trail
Shane Perez
Skyway
Snakes
Sneak in
Snow White’s Scary Adventure
Soarin’
South of the Border
Southwest Airlines
Space Mountain
Spaceship Earth
Stardust
Stitch’s Great Escape
Stormalong Bay
Swingers
Tambu Lounge
Test Track
Thunder Mountain
Ticket resellers
Timeshare presentations
Tom Sawyer’s Island
Toppings Bar
Toy Story Midway Mania
Twilight Zone Tower of Terror
Typhoon Lagoon
Tyvek armbands
Ultimate Ticket
Undercover Tourist
Utilidors
Wave, The
Wegoshop
Wheelchair
Winnie the Pooh
Wishes fireworks
World Showcase
Zebra Domes
Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1: Disney World, Done Dirt Cheap
Chapter 2: Sex, Drugs, and Rock N’ Roll
Chapter 3: Tricks, Tips, Scams… and Bugs
Chapter 4: Off-Limits Exploration
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
Index
The Dark Side of Disney Page 14
