by ERIN BEDFORD
“Sorry about that,” I said, sliding the newly made rum and coke across the bar to the guy who had ordered it just before my little mishap. He was in his mid-thirties, buzzed head, and had his eyes too focused on the other man in front of him to pay attention to me or the drink he’d ordered. He also wasn’t fooling anyone into thinking he was just there for a good time. He had cop written all over him.
“Have you seen this girl?” The cop playing undercover, badly I might add, held a picture up to one of our regulars. Dan, I wanted to say his name was, but it could have been Fred for all I knew. Good with names, I’m not.
“No way.” Dan/Fred shook his head before swigging from his beer bottle. His eyes were glazed over but deliberately not looking at the cop.
I didn’t have to turn around to know Lucifer was behind me again. I could feel his presence warm against my back causing a not so unpleasant feeling of pleasure to ripple down my spine.
“He’s lying,” the Devil whispered into my ear, his voice a soft coo that tickled all my senses and made me want to lean back into him. That alone would have made it take me a second to realize what he’d said, but honestly, it was really his fingers dancing down the side of my body, tempting, teasing.
“Are you sure?” I said, using the words to give me time to pull away and collect my thoughts. Honestly, I needn’t have asked. The king of lies always knew.
“Yes,” he said, appearing on the bar between us, pointing down at the guy though no one else could see or hear him. He could be dancing the cha-cha on the bar in nothing but a tutu, and no one would bat an eye. “It’s written all over his sallow face.”
“Okay.” I set down the glass I’d just filled in front of its owner and moved toward the cop. Even in heels, the bar top barely reached below my chest. If I didn’t wear them, the girls bounced off the bar all day, and trust me, that was not a pretty picture.
“Hey, Dan.” I batted my eyelashes at him, but the moment he saw me, he choked on the beer he was drinking, and his face paled. Yeah, I get that reaction a lot.
“Hey, J-Jane.” He coughed and cleared his throat, his eyes becoming skittish. “What’s up?”
I guess I did get his name right. Go me!
Giving him my best, no-nonsense look, I placed my elbow on the bar top before propping my chin on it. “You know what’s up, Dan. Or do you want me to tell this nice police officer?” I grinned and slid a sly look at the cop who looked startled by my presence.
Dan shook his head rapidly. “No, no. It’s all right. I got this.” He turned back to the rightly confused officer and said, “I saw her, but that’s it. She left with some tall, balding guy just after happy hour last Friday.”
Stunned by the guy’s admission or maybe by my looks - hey it could happen - the police officer stood from his stool and hooked his belt with his thumbs. Why did all cops do that? Did their pants not fit right?
After a small adjustment, he gestured for Dan to stand up. “I think we need to take a ride downtown. You can give us a better description of the guy you saw.”
Dan begrudgingly stood and shot me the stink eye.
Can’t please everyone.
The police officer didn’t leave right away. Instead, he turned back to me with a suspicious glare. “I don’t know what you did to make him talk, but thanks.”
I gave him a two-finger salute and a grin. “No problem. All in a day’s work.”
He snorted but didn’t say anything more as he turned and followed Dan out of the bar. Shrugging, I didn’t let his reaction bother me. Most people didn’t get me or my sense of humor. Or my psychic powers. Which, by the way, are fake. Like, pay-by-the-minute fake. The only abilities I had were seeing sexy angels who really needed to get laid – oh wait that’s just me. Though, I wouldn’t complain if they were the ones doing the laying.
Sadly, though, they’re the ones with all the powers, I just monopolize on them for my own gain.
Fair trade in my opinion and that’s the only one that counts. Right?
So, yes. That’s why I put up with them. For the best cause, really. Me. And you know, for the spank bank.
2
“Hey, Jane, you have a second?’ Terry asked, shuffling uncomfortably as he finished locking the door.
“What’s up?” I asked, shoving my share of the tips into my pocket.
“I was wondering.” He paused and scratched behind his ear, his usual tell when he was nervous. He sighed, as if talking to me was a big effort. “Now, I’m a good Christian fella, so don’t go tellin’ my mama I asked you this, but is all your psychic stuff for real?” He glanced up at me as if I might shine a light on his otherwise meager existence. “The way you know if them folks is lyin’ or not. It’s really sum’thin’.”
I forced back the sigh that threatened to come out. I hated when people I knew and liked asked me this. The last time I’d told someone the truth about my abilities, I’d needed to change jobs. And I liked my job. Sure, being a bartender wasn’t anything special, but it was better than stripping. Which I could totally pull off. Seriously, I could. Check out my butt! Totally bounce-able.
But the point was telling people about my angelic admirers was never a good idea because no matter what I said, I wouldn’t really change Terry’s perspective on the world, and he would never look at me the same way again.
“No, Terry,” I said finally. “It’s not real. I’m just really perceptive.” My answer had the desired effect.
Terry’s shoulders uncurled, and he stood a bit taller like he knew it all along. “That’s what I thought.” He scoffed before turning back toward his car. “Well, carry on, Jane. I won’t keep you.”
I watched him for a moment, half tempted to call him back and tell him I was lying, but I didn’t. I knew what it was like to have your world so shaken up that you thought you were going mad, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
“What are you are looking at?” a smooth voice from my left said, making me jump in place.
I spun and glared at the brown-haired Adonis who had just appeared out of nowhere. The angel Gabriel gave an apologetic shrug. Out of all the angels I could see, Gabriel was the least full of himself, which was the only reason I didn’t get on to him for scaring the living daylights out of me. If it had been Lucifer, he’d have done it on purpose.
I shook my head and muttered, “Nothing.”
Pulling my keys out of my purse, I headed for my car, a five-year-old blue Kia. Sure, the battery needed to be jumped multiple times every winter, but it got great gas mileage… and it was paid off, so bonus?
Sliding into the driver’s seat, I didn’t bother waiting for the large angel to slide into the other seat before I started it up. I fiddled with the radio, though after two A.M. there wasn’t anything good to listen to.
“You should really put your seat belt on.” Gabriel’s chastising tone made me grin. I couldn’t be mad at Gabriel no matter how annoying he might be. Gabriel was like a surfer dude and a big brother all rolled into one. Though, I’d never seen him as a brother, because one doesn’t think of their brother’s abs as lickable. Not to mention he, like Lucifer, had more horniness in him than the entire student body at the local high school.
“You’re an angel. Aren’t you supposed to guard me against danger?” I shot him a grin and instantly regretted it. Lucifer’s teasing from earlier came back with a vengeance and looking at Gabriel’s chestnut colored locks hanging over pale green eyes only made matters worse. Damn, when God created the angels, he only used the good bits.
“Doesn’t work that way, doll.” Gabriel chuckled and draped an arm over the back of my seat, giving me a nice tingle as a result. “Telling you to put your seatbelt on is about as much as I can do as far as divine intervention.”
I snorted at that. “And trying to get into my pants isn’t?”
“That’s just fun.” A sinful grin covered Gabriel’s lips. A smile like that shouldn’t look so good on an angel of God.
“So, I’m just fun to
you guys now?” I scoffed and shook my head. “Never mind Jane, who’s slowly going insane from permanent horniness. We’re just having a bit of fun. No big deal.”
“Aw, come on now, Jane, don’t be that way.” Gabriel tried to tap me under the chin, but all it did was set my teeth a-buzzing. I jerked away, keeping my eyes on the road. “We don’t do it to torture you.”
I snorted.
“Okay, so maybe Lucifer does, but he’s the Devil. What do you expect?” Gabriel shrugged from the corner of my eye, and I got an eyeful of his muscular chest straining beneath his t-shirt. Out of all the angels, he wore the most casual clothing. Jeans and t-shirts were his go to. Occasionally, he’d throw a plaid button up over it, but that was rare.
“So, if you aren’t here to torture me, why are you here?” I asked as I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment complex. A bartender’s salary didn’t cover much, even with the extra tips from my psychic readings, but I’d been lucky in finding this particular apartment. The area wasn’t horrible, and while the manager was lazy, he didn’t charge me more than my meager studio apartment was worth.
Gabriel shifted toward me, drawing my attention to his remarkable eyes once more. “Can’t I just want to enjoy your company?”
I leaned in as well, a hint of a smile on my face, causing him to smile as well. When his breath brushed mine, I said, “No.” I pulled away and got out of the car without waiting for him to follow.
Sadly, cheap rent came with downsides. Parking sucked most days of the week, and while safer, the apartment was located on the third floor. After a long day of serving drinks, those steps were killer on my short legs, but seriously, my butt has never looked better!
As I fumbled with my keys to unlock the door, Gabriel leaned against the wall beside me. I didn’t even bother to wonder how he had gotten up here so fast as I continued our conversation from the car.
“I just feel like you guys could be doing something else with your eternal lives, you know?” I unlocked the door and pushed it open before stepping into the apartment. “I mean, if I were an angel, I wouldn’t be hanging around with the likes of me. I’d be out scouting the hottest men. Seeing all the best shows. Maybe even go to a nude beach.” I paused, tapping my chin. “Actually, definitely going to a nude beach. Or the changing room at Thunder Down Under.” I waved a hand. “You know, something like that.”
I threw my bag on the two-person breakfast table. It banged against the backside of my beat-up couch, barely keeping from spilling over. While my apartment was full of hand-me-downs and thrift store specials, I had saved up to buy a few nice things. Like my television. My thirty-two-inch T.V. equipped with surround sound made me feel like I was living in Middle Earth during my Lord of the Rings marathons.
There were a few things I cared for: emergent entertainment and good water pressure. Since one of those things couldn’t be helped, I did what I could about the other.
Unfortunately, my apartment didn’t allow for a fancy bed, or I’d have my dream four-poster equipped with a princess style canopy. Instead, I was stuck with a twin bed shoved between the wall and entertainment center/nightstand. Even if I could let one of the celestial beings enamored with me show me the hotter side of Heaven, it’d be a bit awkward since the bed barely fit me.
Gabriel laughed, startling me. All thoughts of getting one of the angels to fit into my bed flying from my mind.
He shook his head as he chuckled, making his hair fall over his eyes.
“Been there, done that. Not much fun when no one can see you.” I rolled my eyes as I kicked my heels off, losing a few inches. Gabriel’s fingers curled over my shoulders, and he leaned down until his breath brushed hot on my neck. “Or feel you.”
“I can’t really feel you either, you know.” I cursed myself for sounding as turned on as I felt. Months of these guys hanging around me had made me drawn as tight as a nun’s habit, with no chance of trying to relieve it. You try masturbating when you know angels could pop in on you at any second. Not fun.
“You can feel me more than any other human.” One of Gabriel’s hands slid down from my shoulder to wrap around my waist, sending a buzzing down my spine and into my naughty bits. I could see the hard line of his cock, and I forced back a groan. Did they all have to be so perfect?
Trying to get my mind off the temptation presented in front of me, I moved out of Gabriel’s embrace and went to the fridge. I needed something cold to bring down this heat.
“Don’t you have other angels? Females that could help you out in that department?” Even as I made the suggestion, part of me growled. The thought of some gorgeous female angel touching my guys pulled out the jealousy in me. Who’s attached? Not me.
I dug around in the fridge until I found my leftover Chinese and a bottle of five-dollar wine. Not even bothering to get a glass, I unscrewed the top of the wine and took a big swig. I tossed the Chinese into the microwave as I pretended Gabriel wasn’t watching me like a starving animal.
“Female angels are stuck-up bitches too absorbed in the Almighty to pay the rest of us any mind,” Gabriel practically growled as he stalked toward me. “You aren’t anything like them.” He grinned. “You’re so much better.”
I snorted. “So, I’ve been told.” Inside, I was dancing at Gabriel’s praise. Take that angel bitches.
“Come now, Jane.” Gabriel brushed against my body, as close as he could get without being inside of me. Which honestly wouldn’t be a bad thing. “Don’t you want to explore what could be between us?”
“Believe me, what I want to do to you guys has less to do with exploring and more to do with exchanging body fluids.” I smirked.
“We could make that happen.” Gabriel’s hot gaze burned along my skin, making me squirm.
I turned my head away from him to take another large drink from my wine bottle. I had a nice little buzz going now, which did nothing to dampen the party in my pants. “Unless you have some way of becoming solid that I don’t know about, I think you’re just blowing steam out your ass.”
“You think an angel would lie?”
“Of course not. Well, maybe Lucifer.” I smiled. “In any case, shouldn’t you be spending your time, you know, up there and not with me?” I tried to remind him of the big boss man in the sky. Wouldn’t He be pissed if his angels loved someone else?
Gabriel shrugged. “We have a duty, but it’s not the same thing.” When my baffled expression didn’t change, he sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “You’re not immortal, you wouldn’t understand.”
“I could if you’d explain it to me.” I tried to coax him, but he wouldn’t budge.
“Humans don’t really get the whole indebted for your entire existence thing,” Gabriel explained. The way he lumped me in with all the other humans irritated me like I was just like everyone else.
“Well, excuse me for being human,” I clipped. Wouldn’t understand, my ass. I could see freaking angels. How could I not understand?
Taking my wine bottle with me, I stomped into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. It wouldn’t keep the angel out, so I didn’t bother locking it. Still, I hoped I had done enough to make him leave me alone, at least for tonight.
When he didn’t immediately follow me inside, I knew he’d gone. Well, that was fine… I needed to calm down anyway, and I knew just the thing. I turned on the shower.
Sure, I’d have to reheat my food, but I’d rather have soggy Chinese than spend another minute in my soaked panties.
I dared to take my time showering for the first time in months. I had PTSD from Lucifer popping in unexpectedly, making every shower into a tits, pits, and ass ordeal. My hair had split ends from not being properly conditioned.
“Why have you upset Gabriel?”
I screamed and clutched my arms to my chest. Shoving myself as far into the corner of the shower as possible, I glared over my shoulder at the blond angel.
“What the fuck, Michael?” I snapped, getting even more pissed off by hi
s bored expression.
Crossing his arms over his chest, he leveled a serious, considering look at me that made me shift in place. “My apologies, I didn’t realize you were bathing. Gabriel came home quite distraught, and you know how much I dislike hearing him whine. Alas, here I am.” He gave an elegant shrug.
Dressed in tight-fitting jeans and a black V-neck, Michael could give any Sexist Man Alive a run for their money. Of course, he’d actually have to be alive for that, but you get the picture.
“I can’t have this conversation right now while my junk’s hanging out.” I glanced at him once more and frowned. “How are your clothes not getting wet right now?”
Michael huffed as if my question was more exasperating than it actually was. “I’m not corporeal, but ...” He reached out and slid a finger along my slick skin and then rubbed his thumb against that finger. He held his hand up for me to see the wetness there. “I can feel what has already touched you.”
I gaped at him. “Huh?”
“Don’t try to think too much about it. You’ll give yourself a headache.” Michael shoved his hands in his pockets with a frown. “Not saying your dumb… it’s just too complicated to bother trying to understand.”
“Fair enough.” I threw the shower curtain open and grabbed a towel. Quickly drying off, I grabbed the discarded pajamas from last night off the floor. Not even bothering to put on underwear, I pulled on the shorts with little bananas on it and a tank top with the words ‘Spank the Monkey’ written across the chest in yellow. They’d been a gift from my best friend Mandy before she became a party pooper by getting a real job.
Man, I missed her.
