by T Gephart
I pressed my head against the window as I watched the street lights zoom by, I thought about seeing Alex and wondered if he hated me. A small knot returned to my stomach as we drove up the long tapered driveway which led to a French provincial styled mansion. Masses of long, rectangular windows lined the tall light grey brick walls, topped with a dark shingled roof. It’s not at all what I pictured James and Hannah’s house to look like; it seemed almost too sophisticated, like something they would have to grow into. Perhaps, I smiled, that was the plan.
I was welcomed cheerfully by James at the door who gave me his usual greeting, a large heartfelt hug. Hannah helped me out of my coat before giving me her own warm welcoming hug. They really were such wonderful people, it was endearing to watch. As Hannah released me, she led me into the house, James following close behind.
“Congratulations,” I whispered to James, the smile widening across my face.
“Huh?” He looked at me puzzled and then eyed his wife curiously.
“I figured she was partly responsible for little jelly bean’s existence,” she smiled as she patted her stomach gently. “I didn’t think you’d mind.” James protectively embraced her waist, his hands resting on her flat belly.
“I don’t mind at all, Sweetheart,” he crooned. “However, my recollection of that night is a little different. I think I’d like to claim responsibility for little jelly bean.” His mega-watt grin incited a fevered blush to creep up Hannah’s face. I couldn’t help but laugh at the adorable exchange. James winked at me as Hannah gently slapped him across the chest.
“We’re shooting some pool in the games room, you play?” Asked James, a playful grin still lurking on his lips.
“I haven’t in awhile but sure, I’ll play” I mused, the cogs in my mind ticking wildly.
I knew how to play pool; I had spent almost an entire summer while we were in high school at Emma’s house. We had had notions of honing our craft so that we could hustle for money. It never happened. I still remember the smell of the wood from her dad’s antique Billiard table, with its pristine green felt and leather trimmed pockets. We’d taught ourselves to make even the most difficult shots under his expert watchful eye.
The three of us walked into the games room, where a game was currently in session. Troy and Jason were trash talking each other as they alternated shots, laughing and slowly sipping beers.
“Hiya, Sexy,” winked Dan as I entered, taking a long deliberate drink from his beer.
“Dan, are you high?” I cautioned as I gave him a hug.
“I don’t have to be high to appreciate a beautiful woman.” He smiled, his hand slipping dangerously low down my back.
“Seeing as you make your living with that hand, you might want to remove it from my ass before I break it.” I smiled, he may not be high but clearly he’d had a “few” beers.
“Geez Lexi, such a buzz kill!” he squirmed. Troy and Jason looked on, highly amused by our little exchange.
“Hey Jase!” I greeted as he swooped me up into a big bear hug, twirling me around before setting me down.
“Hey Lex, hope you brought some game cause I’m wiping the floor with these losers” he giggled gesturing to Troy and Dan.
“Hey Lexi.” Troy came up behind me, putting his arms around my shoulders. “Jase here thinks because he’s won two games he’s some kind of pool shark.” Troy’s hazel eyes gleamed with amusement.
“Dude! I could totally beat those guys. Did you see that last shot off the pocket?” Jason argued, convinced he stood a chance against a professional player. My heart sank as I looked around the room and noticed a crucial absence. Alex wasn’t here.
“Where’s Alex?” I asked trying to keep my voice flippant and level.
“He’s off with some broad, he’ll be here later,” yawned Dan the topic of conversation clearly boring him.
“So Lexi, what you say? You playin’?” baited Jason.
“Sure, rack ‘em up.” I forced a smile as I tried to suppress my disappointment.
“You break Lex, you like bustin’ balls.” Troy smiled as he handed me a pool cue causing Jason, James, Dan and Hannah to erupt into laughter.
“Thank you, don’t mind if I do. If it’s one thing I know how to handle it’s balls.” I winked, not the slightest bit embarrassed by Troy’s playful comment.
I leaned over the table and took a shot, my cue cracked against the white ball, sending the others scattering all over the table, one flying directly into a pocket. “Oh look. I got one in!” I smiled innocently as I lined up my next shot. I leaned over the table again.
“Baby Doll, you’re aiming for the wrong ball, you’re stripes,” crooned Troy as he learned over my arm trying to correct my aim.
“Oh, really?... thanks” I smiled. CRACK The cue ball bounced off the cushion, colliding with two balls forcing them both into the far right corner pocket. Troy followed me around the table as I took another shot and sunk yet another ball.
“Anyone get the feeling we’re getting hustled?” laughed Dan as I successfully pocketed my fifth ball.
“Beginner’s luck I guess.” I giggled as I expertly stretched across the felt, sending yet another ball flying into a pocket.
“Damn, we just got played!” laughed Troy as he watched me make yet another complicated shot, hitting the cue ball dead on so that it curved around his ball and made contact with mine, narrowly missing the pocket.
“Oooooh tough shot,” winced Jason.
I felt the air vibrate around him as he walked in, sensing his presence before I saw him. The hair on my neck was standing on end, goosebumps covered my skin. I allowed my eyes to meet his gaze, he was breathtakingly perfect. He was simply dressed in a pair of fabulous faded blue jeans which hugged his amazing body lovingly, a grey v-neck tee which hinted at his finely cut chest, his trade-mark dog tags barely visible underneath and an old leather jacket. With his hair slicked back as usual, he looked delectable. It was as if every fibre of my being had been awoken. His astonishingly clear eyes settling on me before he opened his incredible mouth.
“Hello Lexi.” His voice caressed my name as it spilled from his lips.
I struggled with a reply, trying not to stare. “Hello Alex.” I nodded, acknowledging his presence but not moving from my place, leaned up against the pool table clutching the pool cue tightly in my hand. I felt my heart rate kick up as he sauntered closer to me; his fingers grazing over the felt cushions was strangely erotic and unnerving.
“What are we playing?” he asked, almost as if his words reflected a double meaning that only I would understand, his eyebrow cocked as he stared directly into my eyes.
“We’re getting played by Lexi” Troy quipped, not giving me an opportunity to speak.
“Really?” mused Alex, his smile not meeting his eyes. “Surely not.” He spat the words out more as a statement rather than a question as he moved closer to me.
“People have a habit of underestimating me.” I spat back, “I don’t play games that I can’t predict an outcome to.” I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable at his close proximity. His eyes turned cold as his smile faded, the tension was palpable.
“Hey Alex, you want a beer?” Hannah asked as she glanced between us, trying to ease the hostility.
“I would love a beer Han,” he responded, keeping his eyes locked on mine.
“Lexi, want to come with me and grab some drinks?” Hannah added, her eyes widening as she nervously gestured to the door.
“Sure.” I answered as I followed her out of the room.
We’d just made it outside the door when Hannah grabbed my arm “What was that all about? I know you aren’t the best of friends but that was freaking weird. What is up with you two?” she whispered as she led me down the hall to the kitchen.
“He’s an ass. What can I say? I have a zero tolerance for bullshit, especially his. He’s so fucking annoying,” I retorted, trying to keep the edge from my voice.
“Just try and get to know him L
exi, I know he can be impossible but he really does have a great heart. I’ve known him a really long time and he’s James’ best friend. Underneath all the attitude and arrogance he’s a good guy.” She smiled gently, rubbing my arm.
“I’ll try,” I sighed and smiled back not wanting to hurt Hannah’s feelings by revealing that any chance of Alex and I being friends was well and truly in the past.
My pledge to “try” seemed to appease Hannah as she smiled, turning her attention to grabbing a six pack from the fridge as my thoughts rattled around in my mind restlessly. Could Alex and I really ever be friends? It seemed that we both had a problem with our impulse control when we were around each other. Pushing aside our magnetic physical attraction, I knew my feelings had grown beyond that of a casual dalliance and yet I couldn’t give him what he wanted. He hated me; I saw it in his eyes. No, we would not be friends, not now.
We walked back into the room; James embraced his wife and gave her a peck on the cheek before reaching for the six pack. “Want one?” he asked as he handed me a beer.
“No thanks, I don’t drink beer,” I responded before settling down on one of the leather couches that encircled the table. A new game was in progress and Dan and Troy were playing.
“Sorry Lex, figured after that ass whoppin’ you gave me we were done,” Troy apologized. I got the feeling he felt bad that they had moved on without allowing our game to properly end.
“It’s fine.” I winked, “You can get a rematch later if you like.” I was not the slightest bit interested in finishing the game.
“You’re on!” Troy smiled, seeming to relax at my response.
Hannah had decided to order pizza so had disappeared back into the kitchen while James engaged Alex in a deep conversation over the other side of the room. I couldn’t hear what was being said but both men wore serious faces and Alex nodded a couple of times before looking over at me. I quickly averted my eyes so he wouldn’t catch me watching their intimate exchange. James reached up and patted Alex gently on the back before turning his attention back to the game. Alex’s mouth was drawn into a tight line as he walked over to where I was sitting. I struggled to keep my breathing level as he sat down beside me. I refused to make eye contact, instead allowing my attention to be absorbed in the comical game in front of me.
“Dude, you need to have a foot on the floor at all times” argued Troy as Dan sprawled himself animatedly across the table.
“Who made up that fucking rule? As long as I get it in who cares how I do it?” Dan argued back as he lined up the cue ball.
“Funny, that’s what I told your sister last night.” Troy laughed as he watched Dan miss his shot. I couldn’t help but laugh as Dan sulked, having no come back.
Alex shifted closer to me on the couch, his knee brushed against mine sending a charge of electricity up my leg. I shifted away slightly, uncomfortable with his proximity. I felt him watching me, studying my every move and expression. I wanted to resist glancing into those eyes, I knew they would be my undoing but my willpower just wasn’t strong enough. I turned my head slightly and met his gaze, the anger had dissipated yet the hurt remained. He leaned forward so that his mouth rested just above my ear, his breath sending shivers up my spine as he whispered
“I was rude to you before, I will attempt to not do that that anymore.” His voice was calm and level. Huh? Was that an apology? Or perhaps a truce?
“It’s fine Alex.” I smiled back, not really being fine with any of it, especially being so close to him and not being able to touch him.
“Lexi...” he moved his head even closer as his lips skimmed the top of my ear. Involuntarily I shivered as my body reacted to his touch, the knot in my stomach tightened as I felt a dull ache in my groin. Damn it! Why did he have to be so god damn sexy!? For a second I lost track of where I was and what I was doing, I wanted him! I wanted to throw him down on the couch right now and take him and I didn’t care who was watching. I was quickly brought back to the present by the loud trilling of his phone, I was literally saved by the bell.
He rolled his eyes as he pulled the phone from his front pocket. It’s loud obnoxious ring tone becoming louder as he held it in front of him. I glanced down to the screen and saw the name MARCY blazed across it. Clearly he’d moved on. He watched me intently as my eyes flicked away from the screen back to the game in front of me, his hand hovering over it as he hesitated answering.
“You going to answer that brother?” Jason wandered over to glance down at the illuminated, unrelenting screen. “Marcy, is that the chick from yesterday?” he asked.
“She’s hot” qualified Dan, “And has an amazing rack.” He added animatedly, curving his hands in front of his chest, unable to suppress his beaming smile.
“You should answer it, you wouldn’t want to be rude,” I remarked as I lifted myself from my seat and walked away.
I heard his distant voice mumble a greeting as I walked out of the room and down the hall in search of Hannah. I felt foolish. Why did I care who called him? I had made it clear I wasn’t interested in him, what was he supposed to do? My heart raced and my anger grew as my inner monologue rattled around in my head, “This is why you didn’t want a boyfriend; the jealousy, the drama. This is why you walked away. You can have any one you want. You don’t need him. You don’t need this bullshit. Just go find someone else. Forget him.” Uggghhhhh I bet Marcy was blonde! I found Hannah still in the kitchen on the phone as I pushed all thoughts of Alex and his big-breasted bimbo (he certainly seemed to have a type!) out of my mind.
“Hey Lexi,” greeted Hannah, her smiling face happy to see me. She moved the receiver from her ear and covered the mouth piece. “Mike’s on the phone, he called to see if you’d made it ok.”
“Tell Mike I said Hi.” I smiled, from all reports he was recovering so well, exceeding all expectations. I looked forward to seeing him walking about and putting the accident behind him.
“He wants to say Hi,” Hannah indicated, holding out the receiver for me. I willingly took it, hoping that talking to him would cure my sour mood and get my mind off of Alex.
“Hey, Mike!” I did my best to sound cheery, even though I wasn’t feeling it.
“Hey Lex! So how are you enjoying New York? As soon as I’m all good, I’m going to take you on a tour,” his excited voice burst through the phone.
“I love it here, it’s a beautiful city,” I answered. “Though I’m freezing my ass off already.” We both laughed at my lack of tolerance for the cold weather. We chatted easily as I told him about my trip and about my flashy new apartment. He laughed again when I told him about my new neighbours whom I originally thought were swingers. He told me about his rehab, how he’d moved back in with his folks until he was fully recovered and how his mum was driving him completely insane. He expressed his desire to go back to Melbourne when he was better and actually see it this time; he was going to stay with Jackson whom he spoke to almost every day.
Talking to Mike brought me back to that night on the road, watching his lifeless body lying in front of me. He knew he’d been given a second chance; he was doing his best to embrace it and it warmed my heart to hear of his plans for the future. He seemed at peace, relaxed and very happy and at that moment I envied him. I hoped someday I might find that inner peace too. We said our extended goodbyes and I promised him that I would come visit him soon and I handed the phone back to Hannah who also said goodbye before placing it on its rechargeable base.
“He’s a sweetheart.” I smiled at Hannah.
“He sure is, he reminds me a lot of James at that age,” she agreed.
“You’re very lucky Han. James is obviously head over heels for you and you have been together forever. It’s amazing what you have, really inspiring.” My eyes misted slightly as she thanked me for my kind words. “I might head home, I’m kind of tired.” I yawned, not really wanting to go back and spend more of my evening either agitated or moody.
“No, don’t go yet!” Hannah exclaimed, �
�Pizza is on its way.” I didn’t want to hurt Hannah’s feelings but I doubted I’d be great company. I made some excuses about struggling with the time zones and being jet lagged and while I could tell she was still disappointed, she agreed I probably should get some rest. I walked back out to the games room to say my goodbyes while Hannah grabbed another round of beers for the guys.
“You’re leaving?” asked Troy as I entered, gathering my coat.
“Yeah, I’m wiped,” I smiled.
“What happened to my rematch?” he pouted.
“We’ll rain check it. I’m sure there will be plenty of opportunities in the future for me to beat the pants off you.” I winked.
“We’ll see about that.” He smiled giving me a hug.
“If you want Troy’s pants off all you have to do is ask, he is always willing to drop them,” scoffed Jason as he took his turn in giving me a farewell hug.
“It gets hot behind the kit, Douche. It’s a comfort thing,” he explained. I loved how comfortable they had become in my presence. Watching them interact, these men I had once idolized, I felt like I had to constantly pinch myself. I tried not to stare as Alex sauntered over and lightly touched my arm.
“Don’t leave,” his eyes pierced mine “I’ve barely got to speak with you.” His lips twisted into a delicious crooked half smile.
“I’m tired Alex. Some other time,” I reasoned, not wanting to seem like I was running away when realistically that’s exactly what I was doing.
“Ok then, let me give you a ride,” he offered, his posture relaxed as he leaned up against the pool table, slipping his hands into his pockets.
“Fine,” I accepted. Once again, it was anything BUT fine with me. What was it with me and him in a car? The confined space? Every cell in my body screamed this was a bad idea, yet there was nothing I could do to stop it. I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to either. I alternated hugs with Dan, Hannah and finally James, who shot Alex a pointed glare before releasing me. I was piecing together that their earlier “conference” had probably been about me and Alex’s admission of being rude had probably been solicited. James really was adorable. I could see why women all over the world worshipped him - apart from being drop dead gorgeous, his kind hearted nature only served to expand his appeal.
