“A photo, you need some.” She took one before he put his shirt back on, each movement considered and tender, even though they have never met before Mila clearly felt comfortable with Max. Family knows family. And some more once he was dressed again.
He spent hours just holding her, feeding and changing her, anything. Max would do anything and everything. Right up until he had to leave, but before he did he put her down in the travel cot in with Lucas and Tomás. “I’ll work something out, I promise.” Reaching the bottom of the stairs he slumped down to sit on one of the lower ones. “Walking away feels so wrong.”
“Félix is going to be here first thing.”
“‘Kay.” Max nodded. “Thank you so much for this.” Flinging his arms around Laura he hugged her tightly. “You’ve given me so much today I can’t begin to explain, I’ve got hope things will get better.” Standing back he tried to collect himself.
“And I hope they do, really I do, he’s liked you for so long.”
“Same here, and Laura if things go south, please…” Closing his eyes he carried on. “Please don’t let her forget me.”
“Max, things…are you okay to drive?”
“Yeah, I’m not…I’ll be fine.” He had never felt so out of control in his life, even more so when he got injured, upstairs his daughter lay asleep and he was leaving her to fly back to England.
***
“I saw her.” Max had to let Tommy know. “Félix’s sister helped me out, I spent the day with her in my arms. And she is perfect.”
“I bet she is, have you got a photo?”
“I promised not to show anyone.” But Max found himself pulling out his phone anyway.
And there Max was, happier than he had ever seen him before, just content and proud. “Congratulations. She looks just like you Max.”
“She takes after Félix.” He sighed. “Absolutely bloody gorgeous.”
He had been doing so well, and now he so far below square one he wasn’t sure if he would ever recover. Coming back from this heartache would take so much time and care. “Have you told your family?”
“No, god, how would I do that?” Max couldn’t even begin to imagine how they would react, telling them they had a granddaughter they couldn’t see. “I couldn’t do that to them.”
“You can’t do this alone, you need them Max, I’m here for you of course, but you need family. Your family.” Tommy pressed.
He had to stop loading everything onto Tommy. “Yeah, I’ll stop in after we’ve finished kicking ass here.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
***
“Let me get this straight, you had a child with Félix and now he won’t let you see her, but his sister does?”
“Yeah.” He’d gone round and round in circles trying to explain everything to his mum and dad, each details was leapt on, and he had to go over it again and again.
“You’re friends though.”
“Not anymore, I don’t think I can after this.” He admitted heavily.
“Max, you have to fight him, you have to see her.” His mum implored. “You have rights.” She was astounded at what Max had spent the afternoon saying, he had turned up looking worse than when he arrived before Christmas. “Oh Max, do you really think it’s just down to him not wanting to come out?”
“Mum, that’s a huge thing. Christ it took me a couple of decades, and it’s not…not just that is it?”
“Max, it’s all well and good trying to be sympathetic, but he’s keeping a part of you, your heart and soul, away from you on purpose. He can let you see her, he’s known you over ten years and he can’t trust you to stay quiet.” George was less than impressed, he had always thought Félix was a stand up man, but he was just a pathetic coward. “If I ever come across him…”
“You’ll do what?” Max tried.
“Tell him what an asshole he is, you’d make an excellent father.” George was beyond angry but he couldn’t show Max the extent of that, he had lost weight and on him it was so noticeable. As an outsider looking in he would think he was seriously ill. “It’s not right.”
“I know dad, I know.” The weight of all the people knowing was getting to be too much.
When it came to his sister he was surprised how quickly the tears fell, she was such a strong woman he ended up holding her. “It’ll all work out.”
“Max, you have a daughter, I have a niece and mum and dad have a granddaughter. What part of us all being kept away okay?”
Without an answer he sat in silence. He was sick of the silence.
***
“Hola.”
“Please tell me she’s here.”
“Of course, come in.” Mig opened the door wider to let Max in. “Laura’s out, had to go get a few things for the boys.”
“How are they?”
“Great, I fall in love with them more everyday.” Wincing at what he said Mig moved in to apologise. “Sorry, I didn’t mean…”
“It’s okay, I fall in love with her even when I’m not here.” Feeling his heart swell he shuffled from foot to foot, desperate to see her again.
“She’s in here waiting.” Gesturing at the living room he stepped aside to let Max rush in, and found him instantly fussing over her, cradling her in his arms. His face lit up. Eyes smiling. Perfectly happy.
And he was glad to see it over and over as the year progressed, the summer was incredibly hard, but they sent photos and video to keep him connected. And slowly but surely Max became a part of the family, a quiet part just content to sit with Mila and marvel at whatever tiny movement she made, every little burble and wrinkle of her nose
“I’ll get that.” Laura handed Max the rattle she was entertaining all three of them with, and took Tomás with her to answer the door.
Max heard hushed tones and paid no notice until Mig swore under his breath.
“Max, hand her over. Hand her over, quickly, come on.”
Mig was quickly putting Tomás down on the playmat to free himself up to take Mila from Max. “Garden, just go. Please.” He hissed, pushing Max away. “Go!”
Stumbling outside in a daze Max slumped against the wall and slid down to sit on the ground, Mila had been ripped from his arms again and he could hardly catch his breath.
“I thought you weren’t back until tomorrow.” Laura questioned again.
“Had to get back now, had to see her.” Félix beamed as he picked his daughter up. “I’ve missed you so much.” Kissing each cheek gently he soaked up the contentment she sounded. “Will be back soon, I just need to get home.”
“I understand.” Laura nodded.
“I’m thinking of getting a nanny again, so she can come with me to games.”
Mig clenched his teeth at the implication of that for Max, he’d no longer see Mila. “Would be a lot of press.”
“I will hide her.” He stated stiffly whilst picking up Mila’s things. “I need her with me, being apart like this is torture.”
Laura did well to only bite her lip at hearing Félix complain about a couple of days at a time where Max had to wait weeks in between for a couple of hours. “It’s torture? What about Max?”
“Stop it.”
“I can’t, I can’t, knowing this and poor Max…Félix, this can’t go on forever. Please.”
“It’s my life.”
“No, no it’s not. It’s Max’s too, have you see him at games, he looks like death. And it’s Mila’s too, do you want her to grow up wondering who her father is? And then asking you why this man, who you wanted to love, is not in her life.” She had to say it.
“Laura, please.” He begged. He’d already spent many sleepless nights thinking about it. “I know I’ve ruined things, I’ve hurt him so much and I can’t make things better. I have to move on.” He stated with finality.
“Yes you move on, go ahead, but Max won’t be able to. He will never recover from this. And if this carries on he’ll fight you for custody.”
“Why are you saying these
things?”
“Because you can’t hide her forever Félix, all it’ll take is one photo.”
“Are you punishing me for looking after her?”
“No! I love having her here, I really do Félix, but I need you to see the future before it happens.” She implored. “Mama asked who I think the father is, I can’t keep lying.”
Mig knew he had to step in. “Félix, please don’t think we don’t want Mila here, because we do, she is more than a cousin to Tomás and Lucas, is a sister. But I can’t have Laura stressed like this anymore, your sister loves you so much and will do it forever if you ask.” Mig sighed. “I just don’t want you to ask her to do it forever. Max, he would, he would stand with you.”
“Max…is too hard.”
“It’s not.” Laura countered.
“Then how, how am I supposed to make this right?” Resting his cheek on top of Mila’s head he bounced her a little in his arms.
“Take this wonderful miracle to him, go to England and take her. Take her to her daddy.” She purposely pulled at all the heartstrings to get her brother to understand.
He knew he should, but Félix couldn’t face the rejection and the hate. “He hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you.”
“How do you know?” Félix accused as he sat down. “Max…” He could smell his cologne. “He was here.” It wouldn’t stay that long. “He’s here, where is he!” He barked, shocking Mila into crying. “Shh, shh. Laura hold her.” Handing Mila over he raced upstairs to check the rooms to find nothing. “Where!”
“You’re scaring her.”
“You let him see her!”
“What else am I supposed to do? She hissed sharply. “You broke him, absolutely broken. Wrecked, ruined, hurt.”
“Not my fault.” He pouted.
“It is, you two maybe made a mistake, but you created a life together and need to respect that.”
“You have not respected me!” Shouting made him feel better for a moment, but his daughter’s terrified wails stopped him from continuing.
“All we care for is Mila, you, us, and Max. You should see him with her, will make your heart sing.” She tried another angle, but feared it was a lost cause.
“Stop.” He pleaded, getting up again he walked into their garden and took a deep breath.
“Shit.” Max whispered, trying to figure out away to avoid the confrontation.
“Max?” Spinning around at the sound he saw the crumpled mess that was Max, and his sister was right, he was not the man he knew. His cheeks were sunken, his eyes were hollow and dead, his skin pale. Pale. He had never been able to call him pale before. “Max.”
“I’ll go, I just…don’t blame them okay I forced them to let me see her. I had to see her, I had to, she’s my daughter, my flesh and blood. I made them do it, don’t blame them, don’t fall out with them okay.” He babbled. “She needs her family.”
“What happened to Kyle…”
“I would have protected you, with my life if I needed to, both of you. I still will. But please, I beg of you on my hands and knees, not to take her away again. I can’t cope with not seeing her, she’s so perfect.” By then he was actually on his knees, completely unashamedly. “Please Félix.”
Taking a feathery breath Félix forced himself to look at Max in the eye, those green eyes that haunted his sleep. When he actually got some. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
“But you have, I never thought anything could hurt so deeply, why couldn’t you trust me?”
Max asked the question so innocently, he couldn’t take it. “Get up, please.”
Gathering himself off the floor he made sure not to believe his heart that this was going to work out magically, following Félix down the garden he stopped short of sitting next to him. Since hearing the news he had be thrown in limbo and left hanging.
“Max, please. Sit next to me.”
Giving in he did, but chose the seat furthest away to give himself some manner of protection, he wasn’t sure if this was going to end the exact same way as last time, so he kept his gaze on the house, settling on Laura and Mig who were mooching about.
“I won’t do what I did the last time.” He promised earnestly.
“Sorry, it’s stayed with me. It was traumatic Félix, we had that magical time that filled me full of hope for the future. I can’t lie, I was imagining a lot more a first date, and then you went into lockdown and I couldn’t get near you.” Max knew this was probably his only chance to get it off his chest. “Nothing, we’ve known each other for well over ten years and we’ve told each other our deepest, darkest secrets, well I certainly had.”
Félix squirmed, the enormity of his deceit being laid bare.
“And you know what I don’t care that you kept your fertility a secret, I understand that, but my god Félix when you found out you were pregnant with my child you should have told me then. If you’d gotten rid of it, or hurt yourself…I wouldn’t have known.” He shivered at the implication. “And to me you’re alright with that, you’re completely fine with me not having a second of contact. Back in Spain I was looking at my, our daughter and you didn’t breathe a word until she was gone.”
“I…” He began but couldn’t finish.
“I am traumatized still, I’ve missed so much of her first year, I’ve seen here whenever you’ve been away, and only then for a matter of hours, I’m still a stranger to her and that is a pain that won’t leave my heart. Because it wasn’t a stranger that did it to me, it was you, you who I liked, who I wanted to fall in love with.”
Trying to hide his tears wasn’t working because Max was staring at him expecting an answer.
“Come on, I need answers.”
“I don’t know what I can say to make it better, I have wronged you and I don’t think I can do enough to earn your forgiveness.”
“I need more than that.” Max demanded quietly. “We were very close friends, actually more than that and yeah a baby is not an ideal way to start a relationship, but fucking hell you should have given me the benefit of the doubt.” The way Félix broke down made him sink, he felt bad for him but sympathy was far away.
There wasn’t a way to come back from it at all and that torn the last shred of strength from him. “I’m so sorry Max, I should have trusted you, but I panicked. I had everything finally, and then I found out I was pregnant. I knew it was you straight away, but all I could hear was what you said about Kyle.” He winced at bringing it up again, but it was a piece of the puzzle.
“Then I know I do not what to be out, is easier for me and my family. I don’t want everyone asking me about my private life, they hound Sebastian and Kyle all the time. I have to protect Mila.”
“You don’t think I would fight to protect you both from that?”
“Si.”
“Then I don’t get it, why did you take her away from me?”
“I don’t know.” He muttered into his hands. “I don’t know and I regret it all.”
Silence took them over, but Max wasn’t going to waste any time with that right now, he was nervous about where things were going to go next. “Fine.” Getting up he walked away to find Mila again. “Hey there baby girl.” Max beamed as she smiled up at him.
“How is Félix?”
“Regretting it all.” Max said plainly before pouring all of his affection on Mila once more, kissing her between bounces. “He’s your brother.” Max said kindly, seeing Laura trying to decide how to respond and immediately she got up to see to him. “I’m not going to run off with her Mig.” He reassured. “I can’t do that to her or Félix.” And with that Mig went to sort out a feed for his sons.
“Now this is all a bit silly isn’t it?” Max asked her, she gurgled back and he took that as an agreement. She was so big now, her dark curls making her look incredibly cute as she reached out to grab the end of his nose. “You can’t have that, it’s too big.” Max chuckled, his gaze finding Félix being comforted by Laura, her arm around his shoulde
rs as he leant heavily on her.
“How about you cheer your papa up?” Mila grinned at him, her brand new teeth gleaming at him. So he padded out with her balanced on his hip, catching Laura’s eye she nodded at him to continue.
“Félix, look.”
Nudged by his sister he looked over his shoulder to see Max coming towards him with Mila in his arms. “I messed up.”
“You did.” Laura had to agreed. “But I think there’s something here to save.”
“I can save it?”
“I do, but you’re the one who needs to make the effort.” Kissing his cheek she got up to give them the space they so desperately needed.
“Here you go.” Max said after sitting down, turning her to face Félix. “What do you think will put a smile on his face again?” He asked Mila.
He had never experienced this side of Max before, he had the most adorable voice when he spoke to her. “It’s enough like this.” Holding her hands Félix danced with her a little as Max held her up to stand on her feet.
“Max, I want to make it right.”
“Let’s leave it for now, it’s all about you now isn’t it?” Switching his focus to Mila, Max knew he had to simply ignore Félix to get through it, his skin prickled uncomfortably whenever Félix got close. He never believed he would ever want to not be near him, and here he was wanting to run. “I should go.”
“Stay.”
“You’re wanting to get off with her, there’s no need for me now.” Mila was snoozing in Félix’s arms so Max stood up.
“Max.” Félix huffed. “You’re family.”
“That’s the thing, I’m not, not according to you.” Leaning down he pressed his lips delicately against her forehead, breathing in her scent deeply. “I love you.”
“Please don’t go.”
“We’ll have to arrange something more regular, so I can see her.” Max started. “And not just a few hours here and there, I need longer than that, days, a weekend?”
“Um…you don’t have anything set up.”
“It will take me a couple of days to fix up a room for her.” He shot back hotly.
“Please don’t shout at me.” Félix slumped back into the chair slowly to avoid waking Mila up.
Something Greater Than Yourself: An Omega Mpreg Romance Page 9
