He shrugs. “Just a little something I’ve been working on.”
“Ready to go inside?” he asks.
As much as I want to stay here in this moment forever, my relaxed body is exhausted, my emotional ups and downs taking its toll.
“Yeah,” I say as I place a kiss on his lips.
“Why don’t you start heading back down,” he says. “I’m just gonna take care of a few things here.”
“OK,” I respond.
When I reach Braeden’s bedroom I immediately plop myself onto his bed, feeling as though my eyelids have weights attached to them. Laying my head on the pillow I watch the minutes click on the clock and once I get to seven the darkness overtakes me.
Chapter 57
Braeden
After I blow out the candles and shut off the lights I start to make my way down the alley way, a trash bag in both hands. Opening the dumpster I throw them in. When I turn around a movement catching my eye, it making me jump.
“Jesus Christ,” I spit out.
“Don’t take the lord’s name in vain,” he responds.
“I didn’t know you were so religious.”
“I’m not,” he says.
I become confused. “I thought you left a while ago.”
“I did, but I came back.”
I furrow my brow at him. I instantly know something is up. I can feel it. “What’s going on?”
My father’s eyes shift around us. “I want you to know that I will always love your mother. And in no way will anyone ever replace her.”
My heart sinks.
“But I have been dating someone for quite some time now. I have tried a hundred different ways to tell you, but I never wanted to hurt you. But I guess it’s not that much of a secret now.”
I become more confused.
“Who is it?”
“Chelsea.”
I laugh out loud.
“Isn’t she a little young for you?”
“Don’t be cruel,” my father spits. “Your mother and I didn’t raise you that way.”
I laugh again. “I’m sure she would love you dating someone that’s old enough to be my older sister.”
My father shakes his head. “I came here to tell you. I thought you would be a man about this. I was clearly wrong.”
He goes to turn around and my emotions are a mixture of rage and sadness.
“Wait,” I say, his face turning back to face me. “What do you mean it’s not a secret anymore?”
I see my father’s face change.
“Tell me,” I demand.
“Phoenix found us together last night. I figured she would have told you.”
Bile rises in my throat. The change in her behavior. How she never showed up in front of the bathrooms. I push past my father, done with this conversation. I bound up the stairs to my apartment and push open the bedroom door, the room completely dark. I slam the door shut behind me.
Chapter 58
Phoenix
I jolt upright, a loud bang waking me from my sleep. My heart begins to race as I lean over, clicking on the bed side lamp. And then I see him. His eyes red and puffy.
“Braeden?” I say, pulling the covers off me and make my way towards him in a few fast strides.
When I reach him he doesn’t even look at me. “What happened?”
His head finally lifts and his eyes boar into mine. He reaches out and takes my hand gently, his finger running over the cut on my hand.
“Where did you get this cut, Phoenix?” he asks, his voice dark. I begin to catch on. I look down at my hand, hiding my eyes from him.
“He told you…” I mutter.
I hear him inhale sharply. The sound is pure agony to my ears.
“So it’s true…I didn’t want to believe…”
I remain silent, water pooling in my eyes.
“How could you keep that from me?”
And in that moment my heart breaks into a million pieces. I finally have the courage to look up at him but I have to look away quickly, his stare poisonous.
“I…I…” I try to speak but my word faultier.
“Spit it out,” he snaps.
“I was scared, Braeden,” I retort. “I thought about telling you a million different times over the past 24 hours. I was terrified.”
His eyes soften a little. “Scared? Of me? That’s ridiculous.”
I begin to get angry, wanting to tell him that he’s acting like a child.
“No it’s not. I didn’t want to be the one that caused you pain. And we all know that your mother is still a sensitive subject.”
“You not telling me is what’s causing the most pain. I thought we had an understanding. An agreement to never lie to each other. I have always been honest with you, even before you were mine. “
The guilt begins to creep up inside me, tears falling freely down my face.
“I’m so sorry, I am,” I cry out.
I put my arms out to grab onto him, wanting badly to go back a day, but his hands shoot out and stop them.
“I just can’t right now,” he says.
“Can’t what?”
“Be in here with you, I need to be alone.”
And with that sentence he turns around and escapes out the door, it shutting in my face. I stand there for a while, my mind going in a million different directions. Part of me wants to run after him but my feet remain planted, like an outside force is keeping me still. After an unknown amount of time I go back to the bed, confused on what I should be doing. Laying back I lean over, switching off the light. However this time sleep doesn’t come.
~
Each minute he doesn’t return more tears fall from my eyes, the pillow becoming damp from them. I hear the handle of the door turn but it’s so dark that I can’t see anything.
“Braeden?” I call out.
I hear the click of a lock and I now know it’s not him. Reaching over hastily, I click on the light, a figure standing against the now closed door. I try not to panic but I can’t help noticing his state. His face is sweaty, his clothes disheveled. The Devil.
“Beautiful girls shouldn’t be alone in their beds,” his voice calls out, it causing chills down my back.
“Braeden’s going to be back any moment,” I say, hoping to scare him away. He just smiles.
“I highly doubt that, he seemed quite angry.”
My stomach drops. Things fall silent for a second and he starts to take a step towards me. I need to get around him. I remain planted, hoping I can out maneuver him in his state. His movements are slow and methodical. I can hear my heart beat pound in my ears, everything else being drained out. My body begins to shake. And then I see it, my moment to slip past him. Pushing my feet forward I bound towards him, the door getting closer and closer. The cold metal of the door handle reaches my fingertips but he catches me, my grip lost and my body flying backwards.
Within seconds my body is pressed against his, my back to his front. His hands are all over me. I go to scream but his hand covers my mouth, it being muffled.
“Shut up,” he demands into my ear. “I’ve been waiting to do this for a long time.”
Tears fall from my eyes, my vision becoming blurry. His other arm comes around my waist and he hoists me into the air and my body is tossed onto the bed and I cry out.
“Please, no,” I beg, knowing that fighting him will get me nowhere but more bruises. Something that I learned from Carl.
His hands come up and I flinch as they run through my hair. I am confused by this gesture, it more gentle than the others. His fingers then leave my head and trailer down my body, finding the buttons on my shirt and with one yank it is torn open, the buttons bouncing off in a million directions, my naked breasts exposed.
Chapter 59
Braeden
I bound down the stairs taking two at a time, my anger surging through every part of my being. Or was it confusion? Once I get outside I feel like I can breathe again, but my chest is still tight. I walk on wit
h no real sense of direction, trying to put all the pieces together. When I round the corner I spot a small park and plant myself among its only bench. I sit for a long time, my head hung in my hands.
My father’s conversation replays in my head. But why did I feel so betrayed? Angry? I wish nothing but the happiness for my father but I refuse him someone that he loves? Did he love her? Did she love him? My mind shifts to Phoenix. I know now that my anger towards her was unjust. Would I have believed her if she told me? Would I have been madder if she did tell me?
Leaning back onto the bench I feel something brush me from behind. I spin around, a lonely white rose stretched out towards me from the rest of the bush. I lift my hand, feeling the soft petals. It makes me smile.
“I’m such an asshole,” I call out into the dark.
Wanting nothing more than to apologize I get up from the bench and break out into a sprint back in the direction of my building. I reach the apartment within minutes and halt as soon as I reach my bedroom door, a faint sound reaching me ears.
Chapter 60
Phoenix
The bile rises in my throat as his lips press against the skin of my chest. I want to cry out, to scream, to beat him with my hands but I know that I will accomplish nothing. So I lie there. My body frozen, the tears from my eyes rolling down my cheeks. I close my eyes, not wanting to look at him. Never wanting to see his face again.
“Such a good girl,” he purrs.
I hear the sound of a zipper and I don’t know if it’s real or simply a memory. My legs are then spread apart and I cry out against my will. I keep my eyes closed until suddenly I feel his weight being lifted off my body, a curdled scream filling the room.
Flying upwards, I see a tangled mess of bodies and limbs on the floor, Braeden’s hands now around Bret’s throat.
“I will fucking kill you!” Braeden screams into his face, Bret’s face begins turning purple.
I lower my eyes to the mattress, my knees pulled into my chest. The sound of fists hitting bone fills the room, a gurgling sound leaving someone’s throat. I remain frozen, even though every fiber of my being is screaming on the inside. Small dots travel across my eye sight, my breathing becoming incredibly erratic. I begin to panic and fight to stay conscious but as always, the darkness wins.
~
Opening my eyes slowly I don’t have to look around to know where I am. I remain still, reliving all the details of last night. Was it last night?
Sitting upright I glance around the room, realizing I am alone. Putting my face between my hands I start to cry, so tired of always ending back here no matter what I do. I hear the door being pushed open, Chelsea coming through.
“How are you feeling, sweetie?” she asks, sitting in the corner of my bed.
I look over my body, for once it’s not covered in wounds. Only invisible ones.
“I’m OK,” I admit.
“Emotionally?”
A lump forms in my throat and I look away from her.
“I just want to go back,” I choke out, not being able to finish my sentence.
I feel her hand slide into mine and I am surprised I don’t pull away.
“I’m just so…tired,” I cry out.
We both sit in silence for a few minutes. I soon feel her hand leave mine and we don’t speak again and soon she exits again. I remain in my bed, my eyes fixated on the ceiling again. The vision of Braeden’s fists pounding into Bret’s body replays in my head, it creating more anxiety. My mind shifts back to the birthday party, which feels like a decade ago. It’s almost like it was a dream. Maybe I was too happy. Maybe that wasn’t allowed.
Tears form in my eyes and I push the covers off me, walking over to the closet. I am grateful to see some of my clothes hanging, silently thanking whoever brought them. Sliding them on quickly I know what I have to do. I have to go where people can’t get hurt because of me. I have to leave him behind.
Zipping up my sweatshirt, I immediately throw the hood up. I put my ear to the closed door hearing no sounds other than small chatter. With a shaky hand I reach for the door handle, swallowing the large ball that is forming in my throat. Pulling it open slowly I peek out, confirming that at the moment the hallway is vacant. I push myself out of the room, my mind wondering what room Braeden is in, but quickly push it out of my mind. As I slowly go down the hallway, I start to panic but push myself forward, only the sound of my heartbeat pounding in my ears. The ER is busy, everyone too preoccupied to pay attention to me. This is for everyone’s good.
When I reach the end of the hallway without being spotted I let out a sigh. But it’s not a sigh of relief. Did I want to be stopped? I hear a door click open and it startles me. I break into a sprint, not knowing or seeing who it was coming through the door. I continue to run and bodies fly by me as a blur, probably catching more attention than I should. Lasts night’s encounter runs through on repeat in my brain and I swear I can feel his lips burning against my skin. I instantly become nauseated and I wish that I could erase everything from my mind. My eyes lie upon the side doors of the emergency room and feel that I might faint, my knees becoming weak.
“No,” I tell myself, not allowing my body to take over my mind control. With a few more steps I push through them, the cool morning air making my throat string. I continue to jog away from the hospital, my breathing being cut off more and more as the distance grows. And then I stop, my body hunched over, trying to catch my breath. But it only worsens.
I stand there, a mixture of relief and regret flowing through my body. I resort to sitting on the curb, my head in my hands, my mind trying to comprehend everything, but instead it shuts down. I sit there for an unknown amount of time, completely numb, my body becoming desensitize.
“What the fuck are you going to do?” I say out loud, obviously to no one in particular.
But there was one thing I was sure about. I couldn’t let other people get hurt because of me. Braeden had risked death twice for me. Everything was my fault. I was the reason Carl hit me and my mother. If I had just been more understanding…if I hadn’t provoked him with my nasty attitude. Braeden always was there, willing to give up everything for my safety. What did I have to give up for him? Nothing.
Our relationship was wrong. I took everything and gave nothing back. It wasn’t fair to him. He deserved so much more than I could ever give him. Someone who wasn’t broken. And in that moment I knew where to go. The only place where I ever felt safe. Pulling myself off the curb I push myself farther away from the hospital, my hood still tightly cinched around my face. My mind wonders to what they will do when they see I am no longer there. I begin to feel sick thinking about Braeden. I am a coward.
I continue to walk down the street, happy to see the morning crowds are active. I blend into them with ease, following as they filer into their destinations. I continue to walk, my feet starting to ache with every step I take, my mind and body still drained. I continue to push on, ignoring the signs that my body is screaming at me. I smile a little when I hear the sounds of idled engines. I drag on closer to the buses, wanting to just climb aboard. There a lot of people milling about, many of them obvious tourists. I stare at the exhaust exiting the back of the buses, fighting with every strength I have left not to let the threatening tears fall. That’s when I realize there is a large flaw in my plan. Sinking down onto a nearby bench I curl into myself, bringing my knees up into my chest, my hood still hiding my face from anyone’s view. And in my small cocoon of solitude, the tears start fall, not an ounce of energy left.
~
I must have dozed off because the next thing I feel is a soft shake on my shoulder, it startling me. I flip my head up, a middle aged women looking down at me.
“You can’t sleep here,” she says. “There’s a home just up the street that will take in homeless people.”
I laugh softly out loud. I know I look like shit but I didn’t think I looked that bad.
“I…I…I’m waiting for my bus,” I lie.
&
nbsp; She clearly doesn’t believe me.
“Let me see your ticket.”
I shift my eyes around, not knowing what I’m going to say.
“That’s my granddaughter,” I hear an unknown female voice speak.
When I look over I see an older women walking up to us, a bright smile on her face. The bus worker looks at her and smiles.
“My apologies,” she responds and moves on.
The older lady sits beside me, both of us silent for a moment.
“Thank you,” I respond nervously.
The women just continues to stare at me and puts her hand on top of mine, I flinch slightly.
“I’ve been watching you, are you all right?”
No.
“I’m fine.”
“You’ve been here quite a while. Where are you headed?”
“I don’t really know,” I admit.
Her grip on me tightens. “Where do you want to be?”
“Home, I want to go home…”
“And where might that be?” she asks.
I think about it for a second. Lately home was wherever Braeden was, but that wasn’t an option now.
“Oregon,” I squeak out.
“How old are you sweetie?” she asks me.
“I just turned twenty.”
She gives my hand another squeeze and gets up from the bench. As I watch her walk away I wonder what that was all about. I feel that I should move on before the worker comes back, but I can’t. When I peer down the street again, I see the older woman, her body moving slowly. When she reaches me again she holds out a small bag and an envelope.
“Maybe you had to leave in order to really miss a place, and then only will you truly realize how important your beginnings are.”
Reaching up I take the things from her, the same smile on her face.
“God bless you child,” she says before walking on.
I sit there in a state of shock. Slowly I open the bag, a large muffin, an apple and a bottle of water inside. I open the envelope next, tears starting to form again. A one-way ticket. I look up to find her again, but she’s nowhere in sight. I pinch the skin on my arm to make sure this isn’t a dream.
A Brand New Ending Page 28
