by Amanda Egan
Annie gave me the number, adding, ‘I’ll only go if you come with me and help me explain to the girls what’s happening with the club. Deal?’
‘Bloody hell, you drive a hard bargain. But if it helps get you sorted. Deal!’
We spat on our hands and shook.
*****
We managed to get an emergency appointment for later that afternoon and relief flooded through me. I had a sneaking feeling that if he’d had to wait until the next day, Annie would have backed out.
I made us both some strong coffee, chucked the remainder of his drink away and stored the bottle in the cupboard. ‘You can have a stiff one when it’s over,’ I promised.
‘Let’s just hope I don’t have one when the doc’s having a feel, eh Perce?’ Annie said, making a brave attempt at humour as he left the room to have a quick shower.
We had an hour to kill until his appointment so, once he emerged from the bathroom, I handed him his mobile and said, ‘Just put in a quick call to Tittie - put his mind at rest and tell him to get all the girls together for a meeting at six. Let’s just deal with it all today.’
He took the phone from me with a loud huff. ‘I should fire you, you know, but I’m a sucker for a bully.’
Both problems partly dealt with, we set off for the surgery arm in arm.
*****
In an effort to take Annie’s mind off the wait, I confided Lubov’s secret to him, making him swear not to breathe a word.
After an endless stream of, ‘Well knock me down with a feather boa’, ‘Ye, God’s and little fishes’ and ‘My flabber’s just been gasted,’ he finally sat in quiet thought. ‘Oh, how sad! How awful for that poor girl!’
‘Well she’s hardly a girl, Annie. She’s fifty-four!’ I told him.
‘Shit a brick, Perce! She looks bloody good for her age, doesn’t she? Bitch!’ He smoothed the skin around his eyes and stretched his head up in an attempt to eliminate any double chins.
He was stopped from any further bouts of jealousy when the surgery’s display screen flashed up ‘Mick Jamieson to Room G2’.
Annie stood and winked at me as he left.
My very dear friend was about to discover his fate and I’d only just learned his real name.
*****
We were sitting in ‘The Queen’s Head’ with a large brandy in front of Annie and a modest G&T for me.
The doctor had been helpful and reassuring. He was pretty certain that the lump was nothing to worry about but recommended an ultrasound scan, just to be on the safe side.
‘So, it’s not like he said the Big C word straight away, is it Perce? I will be OK, won’t I? Oh, I can’t thank you enough for being so mean to me. I’ve been a right pain in the jacksie, haven’t I?’
‘Yes, Annie you have. But the main thing is you’ve done the right thing now and I’m sure if the doctor had any concerns he would have told you. They have to be very careful with their words. How long until the scan? Any idea?’ I sucked at the lemon in my drink and winced.
‘Not your most attractive face, Girlfriend! And the scan should be within a week or so. Then I can hopefully get on and enjoy Christmas.’
At the sound of that word, my mood dipped. I’d had such high hopes for that year and they’d all turned to dust. My mind drifted to the cupboard full of wasted presents - I might as well sort out the receipts and return them. If The Glove did close, I’d need the cash.
‘Why so sad, Perce? All not well with in the Land of Lurve?’ Annie gestured to the barman to get us another round and he swivelled on his stool for my answer.
‘I’d rather not talk about it, thanks. Feel a bit talked out. Let’s just drink up and get to the club.’
Annie looked disappointed but sensed not to push it. ‘Well, when you’re ready, you know where I am. And if an arse needs kicking, I’m your man. My seven inch red ones deliver a beauty!’
*****
The girls were all gathered like condemned men in the club. Some were sitting at tables in a semi state of drag, others crouched on the stage still in jeans and jackets.
A deathly hush fell as we entered and Tittie ran over to place a quick peck on Annie’s cheek, whispering something in his ear. Annie smiled and nodded and you could almost touch the look of love that passed between them.
Annie clapped his hands together to signal for quiet and then took his place on the stage. The others moved off and found spare seats, ready for his announcement. I spotted Lubov at the bar, looking a little green around the gills as she chatted to Dave - he must have popped in for a catch up and I raised my hand in a wave. He gave me the thumbs up and blew me a kiss.
Clearing his throat, Annie started, ‘Well I guess you’re wondering why I’ve called you all here - as the famous quote goes - and, in all honesty, it’s not good news guys. I know I’ve kind of taken my eye off the ball these last few months but it’s been my way of coping. It’s not helped things and I realise that now.’ He stopped and wrung his hands, looking out to his assembled staff - staff who had become friends - and I could see it was proving tricky for him. ‘I’ve had a bit of a health scare but I think that’s all going to turn out OK. I just wish I could say the same for the club. The landlord’s hiked the rent and we just can’t meet it. In short, aside from a frigging miracle, I think we may be done for.’ He raised his shoulders and lifted his hands in resignation.
A shocked babble started up around the group with everyone talking to the person closest to them. Annie let them continue for a while, realising that they’d need to deal with the news.
Suddenly they all started addressing Annie at once.
‘Couldn’t we just take a pay cut for a while?’
‘What about looking for new premises?’
‘Why can’t we appeal against the rent increase?’
Annie tried to hush them all and answer their questions in turn but they kept on coming thick and fast - no one seemed prepared to roll over and accept their fate.
Everyone was trying to come up with innovative ways to keep the club afloat and if enthusiasm counted for anything we’d go a long way. But Annie, Tittie and I knew that it would take a whole lot more than that.
Lubov suddenly started making her way to the stage and Annie stepped aside to let her speak.
‘Peoples, listen to me!’ The girls hushed and turned their attention to her. ‘I vill not let this place die. Ve must sink of somesink soon. Ze Glove took me in ven no one else vould. I even found love at ze Glove.’ She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. ‘OK, it didn’t vurk out but I still found it. Ve must fight!’ She looked a little scary as she thrust her fist into the air - like some kind of Russian militant. As she was about to step down she added, ‘By ze vays, I am really a voman! But don’t let that put you off.’
Another round of babble started up - this time a mixture of shock and confusion.
Then it was Dave’s turn to quieten them all.
‘Guys! Guys! Hush!’ Everyone looked at him. ‘I’m with Lubov on this and I don’t give a shit if you’re a woman, Lube! We’re all here for our own reasons - some straight forward, some not - but this place helped me when I needed it most. I’m sorted now but I couldn’t have done it without the break Annie gave me. I know I’m not really a part of it any more but I’ll do all I can to help. We need to keep this place going.’
Everyone then started up with their own stories;
‘No one else would give me a gig cos they said I was past it!’
“The Glove’ is well known for its great atmosphere and camaraderie.’
‘Working at ‘Madame LeBlanc’s almost killed me - what a bunch of bitches! I was on Prozac after a week!’
I found myself rising slowly to my feet and realised that all eyes were now on me. I felt my customary flush of embarrassment but I carried on regardless. These people were my friends - they wouldn’t mock me or my heartfelt words.
‘I agree with everything you’ve all said. The Glove accepts people for who they are. It’
s the first place I’ve ever felt like I belonged - where I’ve looked forward to coming in and being a part of a great group. It’s taught me so much - sadly maybe some of it a little too late - but I think it’s finally made me see that it’s what’s inside that counts. None of us are really what we appear to be on the outside but that doesn’t matter, does it? Other stuff - the bigger things in life - are far more important and I think The Glove has that in bucket loads. We will survive this. I just know it.’
I sat back down to a mini round of applause and the sight of Annie and Tittie dabbing at their eyes.
As the clapping died down, we heard the front door slam - we must have forgotten to lock it in our rush to get to the meeting - and Dave went to see who it was.
He returned with a shrug of his shoulders, ‘Must have been the wind. So what’s the next step then?’
And, as exhausted and miserable as I was - and on my first day off in months - I stayed on and chatted with the girls, trying to come up with a solution.
It sure beat being home alone.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Although I was having a break from my night time shifts, I knew I’d end up spending most of my spare time during the day at The Glove - so much for my valuable wound-licking time, where I’d planned to sob, eat chocolate, stroke Bogey and watch trashy rom-coms.
I guess I realised that having company would help. We were all united in our mission to keep the club open and I sensed a closeness had enveloped us that was stronger than ever before.
And so I found myself the morning after the meeting in the office by eleven, studying our rent and lease contract and looking up complicated terms on the web in the vain hope that we could get off on some sort of technicality.
My mobile signalled a call and I rummaged in my bag for it, befuddled by legal jargon.
It was Luke. My heart skipped several beats and I threw the phone down on the desk backing away from it. Stupidly, the thought ran through my head that I looked a mess in jeans and baggy T-shirt - old habits die hard.
For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to answer it. When it finally stopped ringing, I breathed a sigh of relief.
Immediately, it started up again. I stared at it and gestured at it to ‘shush.’
Suddenly Annie was behind me, putting his leather satchel and a bag of croissants on the desk. ‘Hey, Perce! I know it’s pretty radical but I always find the best way to stop a phone ringing is to answer it. Give it a go.’
I regarded him in horror. ‘Answer it?’ I looked back at the phone which had finally ended its ringing session. ‘There!’ I said with a forced smile. ‘No need now. It’s stopped.’
‘Phewie! Nothing gets past you this morning does it? A force to be reckoned with, eh?’ Annie was stirring milk into two coffees and then he came to the desk and placed one in front of each of us, opening the bag and offering me a croissant. ‘Eat and speak. No more, ‘Oh I don’t want to talk about it’ - just get it all out and we’ll see what we can do about it.’
I took the croissant and began to pick flaky little crumbs off and put them in my mouth. I really wasn’t hungry but I was grateful for the distraction as Annie examined his nails and waited. He meant business and he wasn’t going to let me off the hook lightly, especially after the way I’d bullied him the previous day.
‘I’m waiting.’ He tapped his leather boot on the floor impatiently.
‘OK, OK!’ I slammed my croissant down on the desk causing a spray of buttery little crumbs to billow into the air and across the floor.
‘Don’t even think of getting the vacuum cleaner out to clear that up,’ Annie said, ‘I’m one step ahead of you and the rats can get it later anyway.’
I brushed the fallout from my lap and looked at Annie. Maybe it would help to talk. ‘Luke and I had a row. He told me that I was always trying to be something that I’m not and … well, I guess he’s right. I was spending my life fixing myself up and trying to be gorgeous - that’s not me, Annie.’
It all sounded so simple when put together in a couple of sentences - blindingly clear-cut and uncomplicated.
Annie nodded and stroked his chin in thought. ‘Well if he’s right, where’s the problemo? Just be your faberooney self, with no act, and you go back to being hunky dory.’ He tipped his head to one side and asked, ‘Don’t you?’
‘That’s just it, Annie. I can’t help thinking if I’m just ‘Boring Old Perce’, with none of the glitz and glamour, he’ll soon tire of me. So I’ll be back to square one anyway. I guess we’re just doomed.’
Annie tutted loudly. ‘Don’t talk such shit! You’re never just ‘Boring Old Perce’. You’re a wonderful, warm, attractive woman and if Lukey boy can’t see that then he doesn’t deserve you. When will you start believing in yourself?’ He stood and went to the filing cabinet to flick the kettle back on. ‘You know, your buggering mother has an awful lot to answer for and trust me, Perce, if I ever get to meet her face to face I’ll give her the biggest piece of my mind and it won’t be pretty. She’s saddled you with an inferiority complex and it’s got to stop. She should be ashamed of herself.’
I knew he was right and I realised he was only saying these things because he cared, but I didn’t see how it could change my situation. There was no way a man like Luke would continue to be interested in what was ultimately a Plain Jane. He could have his pick of the bunch - pretty little London socialites with silky locks and a smattering of perfect freckles. They lunched, they shopped, had degrees in fine art and skied bi-annually.
In contrast, I wore magic knickers, had outbreaks of pre-menstrual acne, leg hair that grew like the Amazon forest and the early onset of a fine pair of Bingo wings.
‘Thanks Annie.’ I broke a piece of croissant off and started to eat, my appetite returning. ‘I, for one, would love to see the showdown between you and my mother but I really wouldn’t know who to put my money on. She’s got a wicked tongue on her, you know.’
Annie flared his nostrils and looked positively terrifying. ‘Pah! She doesn’t scare me. Bring it on, I say. Bring it on.’
I shuddered at the thought. Thank goodness it was unlikely to ever happen.
*****
I kept my promise and accompanied Annie to any hospital appointments he had. This enabled Tittie to remain at the club and ensure that it ran as smoothly as possible.
I’d asked Annie if he’d prefer Tittie to go with him but he’d refused. ‘He’s too close to the whole thing. He ends up getting all emotional and making me more worried. No, you come Hun. We can bitch about the nurses’ legs.’
And so I found myself sitting around in waiting rooms with many spare hours to think. Blood tests followed scans followed one consultant after another and two-year-old, dog-eared copies of ‘People’s Friend’ soon lost their appeal.
I refused to dwell on my broken heart. Luke had tried calling several times but I’d made up my mind it was over - far better to take the control now and deal with the misery than to repeat it all a few months down the track.
It was early December and Annie was due to receive his final results. We were sitting in yet another soulless waiting area and he was tapping his feet, biting his nails and whistling simultaneously. The man opposite looked at him in annoyance but Annie just smiled and gave a little wave. He was beyond nervous and I took his hand and held it tightly in mine in a bid to calm him down.
‘Soon be over,’ I told him.
‘Only when the fat lady sings,’ he quipped. ‘And by the look of that Hattie Jacques nurse over there, it could be any time soon.’
We sat in silence for a couple of minutes and Annie went on. ‘It’s put everything into perspective, this scare. I’ve been drifting for far too long - taking things for granted and not really putting in the graft. I had such high hopes for The Glove - it was my dream to have one of the most successful drag clubs in London but I ended up being content to just let it tick over and never upped my game. Now I’ll be happy if we can just manage to hang on t
o it and, if we do, I’m gonna work my balls off.’ He chuckled at his choice of words. ‘I mean it, Perce. No more resting on my laurels - I owe it to you and the girls. Let’s just hope we can sort this, eh?’
As his name was called and he left me with a squeeze on the knee to discover his fate, a smattering of words raced across my mind. ‘Write what you know’.
I pulled a scrap of paper from my bag and started making notes.
Hopes, dreams, acceptance, friendship,‘The Gossamer Glove’
