by Helen Lacey
“I didn’t mean...” Her words trailed off as color smacked her cheeks. “I wasn’t implying anything...it was only an observation.”
He smiled and it kicked at something inside her, the spot where she let her dreams lie, dreams long forgotten, dreams she’d thought lost to her since Frank had passed. Dreams that offered both pleasure and panic. Because as much as she longed to believe it, Layla wondered if she’d ever be ready to risk again, to love again, to offer her heart and body to someone.
And particularly if that someone was Kane Fortune—a man who had admitted to having a history of brief and casual relationships. Because the reality pulled at all her insecurities. At all of the uncertainty she felt growing up and watching her mother fall in and out of love with men who had no staying power. Men who didn’t believe in commitment. Men who left. Like Paul, and Linc, and Stuart...names that were now little more than a shadow of a memory. Lovers, boyfriends, fiancés—her mother had had them all over the years. Some, Layla couldn’t remember. They were all kind, all had treated Layla decently. A few she had even grown fond of in her longing for a father to call her own. But none had stayed. Iliana had clung to them and they’d bailed, one after the other, leaving broken hearts in their wake. And leaving Layla feeling as though she didn’t deserve the happiness she craved.
It wasn’t a cycle she intended repeating with Erin. She wasn’t about to sit back and watch her daughter get attached to someone, only to have that someone walk out of her life—their lives—a few months down the road. So it was better that she and Kane stay friends and nothing more. If she allowed more, if she let herself act on the attraction that was growing more each time they were together, she knew where it would end. He’d pretty much admitted he wasn’t the settle-down type, and Layla wasn’t prepared to accept anything less.
When Laurel and Adam returned to the living room, the latter was carrying a tray and soon Layla had coffee in her hand. Kane declined and she suspected he didn’t want to be holding a hot beverage while the kids were climbing on him. Both kids, in fact, were sitting on his lap now, and Erin was waving a book at him.
“She wants you to read her a story,” Layla said.
She noticed that his expression tightened for a moment, but it was Adam who spoke next.
“Here,” his brother said, and walked across the room, quickly taking the book from Erin’s waving hands, “I’ll do it.”
“Ah, Layla,” Laurel said, and stood, “why don’t we take our coffee outside. I would love to show you the start of what is going to be my vegetable garden when spring gets here.”
Layla looked at Kane and saw him nod, and since Erin was now entranced by Adam’s storytelling about a tiny pink dragon, she didn’t have any real reason to linger. She left the room, expecting Erin’s separation anxiety to kick in—but all she heard was her daughter’s delighted laughter.
* * *
“Thanks,” Kane said to his brother once both women were gone and the story was finished.
Adam cocked one brow. “I take it you haven’t told her?”
Kane sat both kids on the sofa and maintained a watchful eye as they played together.
“No,” he replied. “I don’t usually lead with that information.”
He was smiling as he spoke, but he wasn’t amused. Talking about his dyslexia was deeply personal. And yeah, he was sensitive about it. He didn’t enjoy the inevitable sympathy or, worse, judgment that came from disclosing his condition. He suspected Layla would be in the sympathy group, but that didn’t mean he wanted to spill his guts about his condition just yet.
“I know that,” Adam said. “But you like her, right?”
“We’re friends,” he reiterated. “That’s all.”
“For now,” Adam remarked.
Kane shrugged. “Maybe that’s all it is. It’s new territory, this having a woman friend thing. Although we do have a date tonight.”
Adam smiled. “Laurel and I were friends before anything else. I think it made everything else stronger.”
Kane heard the affection in his brother’s voice. He knew how much Adam adored Laurel and how much they’d gone through to be together. He admired and respected them both for not giving up on each other, even when it seemed hopeless. Kane had never experienced that kind of deep, all-consuming love. Not even close.
“We’ll see what happens,” he offered casually, and didn’t get a response because Layla and Laurel returned and they all chatted for a while about the garden and the kids, and Adam got into a long conversation with Layla about his plans to brew his own beer. She was relaxed and looked so effortlessly beautiful it was difficult thinking of her as just a friend.
It was after twelve when he walked her to her car, a sleepy Erin in her arms.
“That was so much fun,” she said as he placed the diaper bag in the back seat. “Your family’s so nice.”
He nodded. “So, I’ll pick you up this evening, about six?”
“Sure, bye now.”
Kane watched her drive off and felt disappointment settle in his chest. When he went back inside, Laurel and Adam were smiling broadly, their approval obvious.
“We think she’s perfect for you,” Laurel said. “And her daughter adores you already. I’m so happy for you both.”
Kane held up his hand. “Ah, you’re getting a little ahead of yourselves here. We’ve only known each other for a just over a week.”
“Sometimes that’s all it takes,” Laurel assured him. “She likes you, too, I can tell.”
“She’s still in love with her husband,” Kane said, and then wanted to snatch the words back immediately. He didn’t want Laurel or Adam speculating; he didn’t want anyone thinking he was mooning around like a lovesick idiot.
If that was what he was doing.
“I gotta go,” he said, and grabbed his keys from the hall table. “Catch you later.”
Kane went to the gym and worked out for an hour, then headed home. He grabbed a snack and tried to watch television but he couldn’t stay still. After some cleaning up, he hit the shower, changed into dark trousers and a pale gray shirt, and was back at Layla’s a little before six o’clock.
When she came to the door she looked so beautiful he almost buckled at the knees. She wore a blue dress and matching shoes and a thin gold watch on her left wrist, and her hair was pinned up.
“You look beautiful,” he said when he reached the top step.
“Thank you,” she said with a tiny smile. “You look pretty good yourself. I’ll just get Erin and her things. I might need a hand with her toy bag.”
Kane followed her inside and spotted a large cardboard box in the middle of the living room. “What’s that?”
She turned her head as she walked down the hall. “A playhouse for Erin. My grandfather is coming over Monday to put it together.”
When they reached Erin’s room, the toddler immediately came to Kane and stretched her arms out to him.
“Hey there, kiddo,” he said.
Layla laughed softly. “I really do think she now prefers you to me.”
He grinned. “Want me to carry her?”
“Sure,” she replied, and grabbed the diaper bag and a bigger tote with a selection of toys. “Traitorous child.”
Kane hauled Erin into his arms and settled her on his hip and she immediately pulled his hair. “Ouch.”
“That’s a small price to pay for being her favorite,” Layla said jokingly.
They drove to her grandparents’ retirement community on the outskirts of town. Her grandmother, Maude, greeted them at the door and Joe shook his hand as Kane crossed the threshold with a chattering Erin in his arms. Layla quickly made the introductions and he was instantly put at ease by the elderly couple. They clearly adored both Layla and Erin and reassured their granddaughter several times that the child would be fine on her overnight stay. They li
ngered for about ten minutes, chatting about the hotel and the town and her grandfather’s ’57 Chevrolet Bel Air that he’d lovingly restored and kept under cover in the garage.
“Are you okay?” Kane asked once they were in the car and heading into Rambling Rose. “You seem tense.”
“I don’t like leaving her,” she admitted with a long sigh. “Is it that obvious?”
“Yeah,” he replied. “And perfectly natural.”
“I worry,” she said. “You’ve seen how upset she gets at day care. I can’t bear seeing her cry—it breaks me inside.”
“I’m sure your grandparents will take good care of her,” he assured her. “But if you don’t want to leave her, I’ll understand.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m being silly. I know she’s safe. She loves my grandparents and usually has no trouble spending time with them.”
He talked about the hotel on the trip into town to deflect her concerns. And it worked, because by the time they reached the restaurant, she was much more relaxed. The restaurant was busy, but they were quickly shown to their table. They were being seated when she spoke again.
“A lavender rose?”
Kane glanced at the single flower wrapped in cellophane that he’d arranged to have waiting for her. “Think of it as a belated Valentine.”
“It’s beautiful,” she said, and raised the flower to her face, inhaling deeply. “I love the color.”
“It’s the symbol of enchantment,” he explained, and then shrugged, feeling faintly embarrassed, hoping she didn’t ask for any more details—like the fact that a lavender rose also meant love at first sight. “My mother grows roses, so we were all taught the meaning of each color when we were kids.”
“Really?” she queried. “So you’re really a romantic underneath the workingman facade?”
“Now you’re making fun of me.”
Layla chuckled softly. “A little. But thank you. I love flowers.”
The waitress arrived, one he knew by name, and they chatted for a few seconds before he ordered a bottle of wine once he’d established Layla’s preference.
“How do you order without looking at the wine list?” she asked once the waitress disappeared. “I’m terrible at making decisions.”
“I guess I just know what I like.”
She met his gaze, like his words rattled her. “Kane... I...”
He rested his elbows on the table and leaned in closer. “I’d like to ask you something.”
“Go ahead.”
“We’ve been out a few times now,” he reminded her. “But I’m curious about something—have I been parked in the friend zone?”
She inhaled sharply. “Yes,” she replied. “And no.”
He laughed softly. “Okay...”
“What I mean to say is that in here,” she said and tapped her temple, “I’m not ready for a romantic relationship. However, the rest of me,” she added and gestured down the side of her body, “hasn’t quite caught up with that idea yet.”
Awareness swirled through the space between them. Whatever was happening, she was fighting it. And from the sound of it, failing. “I’m really attracted to you,” he said bluntly.
She didn’t flinch. “Me, too. The thing is, I’m not sure what to do about it. I’ve never been with anyone except my husband,” she said softly, her voice lowering an octave. “And by that, I mean I’ve never so much as kissed anyone else...let alone, anything more.”
It was quite the admission and one he was pretty sure she hadn’t intended on sharing. But there was a rawness to the mood that amplified the attraction dancing over his skin. “I see.”
“Does that make you want to run away?”
“Not at all,” he replied. “It helps me understand you, though.”
“You mean, why I seem so clumsy and naive?”
The waitress returned and they stayed silent while the wine was poured and menus were placed on the table. Once they were alone again, Kane replied.
“You’re not clumsy. And being naive isn’t a flaw. Frankly, there’s something about you that makes me feel almost...protective—and that hasn’t happened to me before. So, if all you want is for us to be friends, then we’ll be friends. If you want more than that, then we’ll take it as slow as you need to take it.”
“Honestly,” she said and sighed, “I’m not sure what I want.” She reached across the table and grabbed his hand, holding his fingers firm. “But, Kane, I do know that I don’t want to do anything that will hurt my daughter.”
Kane glanced at the wedding band and rubbed the ring with his thumb. “I don’t want to confuse anyone, either, Layla. I don’t want to make you question whether you’re doing the right thing or rush you into making a decision that’s not the right one for you. I realize there’s a lot at stake.”
“Erin,” she added quietly.
He nodded. “I would never intentionally hurt either of you. That doesn’t mean I won’t do or say something stupid and thoughtless at some point. I’m a guy, and guys do stupid things when they’re distracted by a beautiful woman. Or when we’re thinking with the lower half of our anatomy. And that’s not an excuse,” he added. “Just a reason.”
She was smiling and the brown eyes were darker than he’d ever seen them. “I appreciate your honesty, Kane.”
She might, but he still didn’t feel particularly honest. If he were, he’d tell her he felt like he was sinking in quicksand when he was around her. And how much the knowledge stunned him. He’d never felt deeply in any relationship he’d had in the past. He’d never wanted to spend time with someone with the intensity that he felt when he was with Layla. He’d never wanted to kiss someone as much. Or make love as much. He was confused by those new feelings. Part of him wanted to harness them tightly inside, while the other part—the one that was fueled by his increasing desire—wanted to see where the feelings would go.
Either way, Kane knew he was utterly screwed.
* * *
Layla busied herself by looking over the menu, trying not to think about how she’d admitted way too much about herself. Weirdly, she found Kane easy to talk to, easy to confide in...and as it turned out, easy to trust. She didn’t know why since they barely knew each other, but she couldn’t deny it.
Other than the day the hotel opened and Kane had brought her into the restaurant for coffee, it was her first time at Roja. The last time she’d been to dinner alone with a man was with her husband a few weeks before Erin was born, and that had been at Frank’s favorite Thai place in Houston. But Roja was much more upscale than the places she’d gone with Frank. Most of the tables were filled and the waitstaff was busily attending to patrons.
She looked up and saw Kane was watching her, his menu face down on the table.
“I’m guessing you already know what you want?” she asked.
He nodded. “Predictable, remember?”
The waitress approached and she ordered a small appetizer and mushroom risotto, then waited while Kane ordered herb bread and a veal pasta dish. Once the waitress left, she grabbed the rose and inhaled the scent from the petals.
“Tell me more about your mom. You said she grew flowers.”
“Yeah,” he said, and shrugged. “She’s a typical mom, I guess.”
Layla had no idea what that meant. “What’s a ‘typical’ mom like?”
“Caring,” he replied, his gaze narrowing a little. “Kind. She always puts us first—even now that we’re all adults and living our own lives. She bakes and grows roses.”
“She sounds perfect.”
He smiled. “Well, I guess she is. She loves us a lot. And she loves my dad. I suppose you could say that’s what she does best—she loves.”
“Wow,” she said. “It’s no wonder you’re so...you know...nice and normal. And since Adam seems the same, I’ll bet all your siblings are go
od people.”
He nodded. “That they are. You’ve told me about your mom, but what about your father?”
She shrugged. “He ran out when he found out my mom was pregnant. He was young and not ready to be a dad, I guess. Mom’s never talked much about him. I know he lives in Minnesota and that he’s married with a couple of stepchildren.” When his brows shot upward she explained. “I tracked him down when I was seventeen. I was curious about him. But as it turned out, he wasn’t so curious about me. So I forgot I actually had a father and got on with the rest of my life.”
She saw sympathy in his expression and experienced a familiar heat over her skin. She’d seen that look before—on Frank when they’d first met and she’d explained the story over cake and coffee one rainy afternoon. Although his parents had passed away, he had also come from a loving and close family.
“Don’t feel sorry for me,” she said quietly. “I’m a grown-up now and I don’t have any abandonment issues. My grandparents and Erin are all the family I need.”
“I think you’re remarkable.”
It might have been the nicest thing anyone had ever said to her. But she didn’t respond because their food arrived and she had an excuse to retreat back into her shell. She relaxed, drank some wine, and settled into some light conversation about the hotel and the job he’d been offered in Houston but still hadn’t decided upon. Once their meals were over, they lingered over coffee and Layla sent a quick text to her grandmother to check on Erin.
“I take it she’s okay?” he asked as the waitress approached with the check and he passed over his credit card.
Layla nodded with relief as the reply text came through. “Fine. She went to bed like an angel and is sound asleep.”
It was after nine thirty when they left, and nearly ten when they arrived back at her house. Layla grabbed her bag and was out of the Ranger before he’d come around to the passenger side, her nerves suddenly rattling around like a tack in a tin cup.
“Thank you for a lovely evening,” she said, clutching the wrapped rose in one hand. “I forgot how nice it is to eat out and be a grown-up.”
