by Helen Lacey
Irritation rose in his blood. “Your point?”
Brady shrugged. “Well, you never admit to anything, either.”
“Like what?” Kane shot back.
It was Adam who replied. Adam who knew him best. “Like the fact that you really care about this woman and it’s scaring you to death.”
Kane looked at his brothers in turn, heat clawing at his chest and neck. He’d never been good at admitting his feelings—they were right. Which meant he wasn’t about to start. All he really wanted to do was bail and not think about it. They were also right about Layla. He did care. He liked her. A lot. And it was more than simple “like.” More than anything he’d faced before.
“I didn’t come here tonight for an intervention or psychoanalysis,” he said.
“Maybe not,” Adam replied. “But looks like you might need it.”
Kane got to his feet and paced the living room, his gut suddenly churning. He didn’t want the third degree. He didn’t want to admit to anything. As soon as the thought entered his brain, he stopped pacing and looked at his brothers, hands propped on his hips.
“Okay, you’re right,” he admitted. “I like her. I really like her. I more than like her. I want to date her. I want to wake up next to her every morning. But I’m pretty sure she only wants to be friends.”
It hurt to say it. And since Kane wasn’t usually at the mercy of his feelings, he couldn’t quite get a handle on how much his conflicted thoughts pained him.
“You said it yourself,” Brady reminded him. “She’s a single mom, so she’s got a lot to lose.”
“Exactly,” Kane agreed. “She hasn’t dated anyone since her husband died and I’m not going to let my head get all screwed up thinking it’s ever going to be anything more than simple friendship.”
“Why not?” Adam asked bluntly.
“Because he doesn’t want to risk getting hurt,” Brady responded.
Kane’s hands flew forward. “Would you both stop? I appreciate that since you’ve both become fathers you’re more in touch with your feelings, but don’t aim all that newfound sensitivity at me, okay? I gotta go.”
He left without another word and drove directly to the gym, where he spent over an hour and a half lifting weights, running on the treadmill and pushing himself to near exhaustion to exorcise his demons. When he got home it was after ten and he hit the shower, changed into fresh sweats and slumped in front of the television.
The churning in his gut hadn’t abated and as he sat in solitude Kane realized an undeniable truth.
His brothers, as annoying as they were, had hit one hell of a nerve.
He was scared. And he didn’t want to get hurt.
It was a pattern he’d perfected over the years. Giving as little of himself as possible and getting exactly that in return. It was how he’d avoided having a serious relationship for years. Well, since Janine. That had been five months of dating and sex. Five good months, he remembered. Then he’d ended it because she had pushed for them to move in together. The next step, she’d called it. And he freaked out, convincing himself she’d be after him for a commitment and a wedding ring soon after. He winced when he remembered her reaction the day they’d broken up. Janine was a nice woman and deserved way more than he’d given her. Afterward, she’d accused him of being cold and unfeeling and he couldn’t blame her. He had been cold that day.
Since then, Kane had managed to avoid falling hard for anyone. He’d dated on and off back home and hadn’t really thought much about it since arriving in Rambling Rose, using work, his new Fortune family and the hotel as excuses to stay busy and occupied.
Until Layla.
Who had, he realized, literally knocked him to his knees.
And when she said she wanted to be friends, he had an easy out. He could stew on it, mull it over, come out thinking he was okay with the whole idea and get on with doing what he did best—which was being alone.
As he looked around the room, at the bare walls and lack of anything resembling a home, Kane realized he hadn’t made any real effort to settle in since he’d arrived. He still had furniture and personal belongings in storage in New York. In limbo. Exactly how he’d been living since he arrived in Texas.
And it wasn’t, he admitted to himself, any way to live.
He went to bed around eleven thirty and spent most of the night staring at the ceiling.
Adam arrived at his place just before six the following morning and Larkin was dozing in his father’s arms. Kane met him by the gate, took his nephew and the diaper bag and backpack.
“Thanks again,” his brother said.
“No problem.”
“Ah, look, if I was out of line last night, I’m sorry,” Adam said, and shrugged. “I just wanna see you happy.”
“I know,” Kane replied. “Don’t worry about it. We’re all good.”
“You know,” Adam said quietly, “if you like her, you should probably tell her that. I know she’s a single mom and has responsibilities and maybe she thinks she needs to take things slow, but you’re not a selfish jerk, Kane. You’re a good man, one of the best I know. If you open up a bit,” Adam suggested and smiled, “she’ll see that about you.”
Kane tapped Adam affectionately on the shoulder and grinned. “Thanks for the talk.”
His brother nodded, kissed Larkin and then left. His nephew was such an easy and placid child, and they spent the next couple of hours having breakfast and playing. By eight thirty they were at the day care center and Kane looked around for Layla’s car in the parking area. Disappointment settled in his chest when he didn’t spot it and he carried Larkin into the building. On his way out about five minutes later, he saw her, standing by her vehicle parked a few spaces down from his, her upper body bent into the back seat. Kane remained by his Ranger, since she had to pass him to enter the day care center.
“Oh, hi,” she said when she was on the sidewalk.
As soon as Erin saw him she held out her arms and the action twisted at his insides. “Hi.”
“I take it you’re dropping your nephew off?”
“I just did.”
“Oh, okay.”
He tried not to notice how beautiful she looked in a blue skirt and pale pink sweater. Tried not to think about how much he wanted to unpin her hair and let it thread through his fingers or how much he wanted to kiss her perfectly shaped mouth. Tried not to think about how he’d dreamed about her arms around him, her legs, every part of her pressed up against him. Tried—and failed. During the night, as he’d stared at the ceiling, trying to sleep, he’d had a lot to think about. And talking with his brothers had given him the guts to come to a decision. Maybe the biggest of his life.
Kane leaned back on the Ranger, crossed his arms and spoke. “Layla, I’ve decided that I don’t want to be your friend.”
He saw her eyes widen and then shadow over, as if his words caused her pain. “You don’t?”
Kane shook his head. “No, I don’t. I want more than that. I want to date you, Layla. The truth is, I would like to be your...well, for want of a better word, boyfriend.” The word almost strangled him as it came out and he felt about sixteen saying it. “And then, when the time is right for us both, your lover. And then whatever comes after that.”
Shock grew on her face and he saw her swallow hard, as if she was digesting his words. “Oh... I—”
“I’m not saying this to pressure you or make you do something you don’t want to do. I just wanted you to know where I’m at,” he assured her. “I’m very attracted to you and would really like to pursue a romantic relationship. But if you’re not in the same place, that’s okay, I’ll understand. It’s up to you.”
“I’m not sure what to say,” she whispered.
“The truth,” he said. “What it is that you’re feeling.”
“I don’t know what I’m fee
ling,” she replied, as though the words were some of the hardest she’d ever uttered.
“Well, that’s a start,” he said. “If you want me, you know where to find me.”
Then he got into his truck and left.
* * *
Layla spent most of the day in a daze. And thinking of Kane. She hadn’t anticipated such an honest announcement from him. And the truth was, it simultaneously scared and aroused her. Of course, she was naive thinking she could park him in the friend zone when she was so clearly in lust with him. The man was gorgeous and her starved libido responded to that. Knowing it was mutual just about made her toes curl.
But could she?
Was she ready for something more than friendship? What if it all turned to dust after a few weeks or a few months? What would she be left with—another broken heart? But on the flip side, if she didn’t, she’d never know.
Never know what it would be like to be loved by Kane Fortune...
Layla pushed the thought away. That was going in too deep, too fast.
But she knew one thing—he’d said it was up to her and she knew that meant he wouldn’t pursue it any further. He wouldn’t call. He wouldn’t ask her out.
So what was she going to do?
By the time she collected Erin from day care that afternoon she was exhausted. And that amplified tenfold when she spotted Adam and Laurel Fortune walking out of the building with a restful Larkin.
“Hey there,” Laurel said. “It’s good to see you. We should arrange another playdate for the kids.”
There was something so friendly about the couple and Layla was drawn into their vortex. She remembered what she’d said to Kane about friendship and realized the only way to make friends was to take a leap of faith and hold out her hands.
“That sounds lovely. You could bring Larkin over on Saturday morning,” she suggested.
They quickly made the arrangements and she knew Adam was watching the interaction with keen interest. Had Kane said something to his brother about the status of their relationship? And did Adam approve? The longer she hung around the more conspicuous she felt, so she quickly excused herself and headed inside the building.
As expected, she didn’t hear from Kane again that day. Nor the next. She spent a long and lonely Friday evening playing with Erin and once her daughter was in bed, she tried to get in some study time. That lasted about half an hour before she gave up and sat in front of the television and watched a comedy rerun, checking her cell phone every few minutes in case she heard a familiar ping.
But she didn’t.
The following morning she made cupcakes and sweet iced tea and greeted Laurel and Larkin at ten o’clock.
“This is a lovely home,” Laurel remarked once Layla had given her a short tour and they settled the kids in the large playroom at the rear of the house, and sat at the small table and chairs, sipping tea.
“It’s a bit big for just the two of us,” Layla said, and shrugged.
“Perhaps one day you’ll...” Laurel’s words trailed off.
Layla managed a smile. “Get married again and have more kids?” She finished the other woman’s sentence. That didn’t seem likely. But she didn’t say that. “Maybe.” She watched as Larkin made his way into the playhouse and then saw Laurel’s concerned expression. “He’s perfectly safe in there. Kane built it, so I know it’s sturdy and strong.”
“Like he is, right?” Laurel suggested.
Layla didn’t miss the query in the other woman’s expression and didn’t see the point is being coy. “Yes, exactly.”
“Adam said he hasn’t heard from Kane for a couple of days,” Laurel said, and raised an inquiring brow. “Have you?”
Layla shrugged lightly and drank some tea. “Not today,” she replied vaguely.
“I probably shouldn’t say this,” Laurel said quietly. “But I think he really likes you.”
“I know,” Layla replied. “I like him, too.”
“He and Adam come from a really happy family,” the other woman said. “You know, like the ones you see on television shows where everyone loves and supports one another. And sometimes it’s hard for them to understand that not everyone is lucky enough to have had that same start in life. Some people had a tougher time growing up.”
Layla wondered if Laurel knew something about her childhood and then dismissed the idea. She trusted Kane to be discreet.
“Did you?” she asked.
“There were moments when I felt alone and afraid,” Laurel admitted. “But then Adam came into my life.”
Like Frank had come into hers. But Frank was gone. And Layla had the rest of her life to live.
That thought stayed with her through the rest of the playdate, through her studying, through Erin’s bedtime. Echoing in her mind, persisting. Until she couldn’t ignore it any longer. Finally, she made a cup of herbal tea, sat at the kitchen table and grabbed her cell phone. She stared at the screen, knowing what she had to do as she took a breath, grabbed hold of every ounce of her suddenly dwindling courage and sent Kane a text message.
Hi. Would you like to do something with us tomorrow? L & E
She waited several minutes and sighed with relief when a message came back.
Are you asking me out on a date?
She giggled, feeling about eighteen years old, without a child, a house and a job and as free as a bird for a few crazy seconds. Then reality set in. A reality she loved. Even on the hard days.
Yes. We’re going to my grandparents’ for lunch. Would you like to join us?
It took a few very long minutes for the reply to come through.
Sure. I’ll pick you up.
It wasn’t exactly filled with thumbs-up emojis, but it was something.
11:30. See you then.
When he was two minutes late the following morning, Layla almost decided he’d bailed. But then she spotted his familiar truck pull up in her driveway and he came to the door. In dark jeans, flannel shirt and leather jacket, he looked so sexy she had to cleave her tongue from the roof of her mouth before she managed to say hello. Erin, of course, was delighted to see him and quickly demanded he take her in his arms.
“Hey there,” he said to Layla.
She smiled. “Hi. She’s happy to see you.”
“It’s mutual. Shall we go?”
Layla grabbed her tote and Erin’s diaper bag and they were quickly on their way.
“I’m really glad you came today. My grandparents are looking forward to seeing you.”
He glanced at her once they were driving down the street. “Shall we talk about it now or later?”
Layla stilled. “About what?”
“This. Us.”
Simple words. And a loaded question. “Do you mean why I texted you?”
“Exactly.”
“I thought about what you said and realized I wanted to spend time with you,” she admitted, coloring hotly. “You said it was up to me and I decided I want to get to know you a little better.”
His green eyes glittered. “Really?”
“That’s not code for jumping into bed with you anytime soon, by the way,” she said, burning from the roots of her hair to the soles of her feet, but knowing the words needed to be said. “I’m an overcautious person and I don’t ever jump. But the idea of not seeing you again...” Her words trailed off and she sighed. “Well, let’s just say I was motivated to do something that goes completely against my usual character.”
“I’m glad to hear it. But for the record, like I said to you the other day, I didn’t have any agenda and I certainly don’t want to pressure you into something if you’re not ready.”
“Honestly,” she said, “I have no idea what I’m ready for. I feel as though I’ve been in limbo for eighteen months and this is all so new to me.”
“And me,” he said q
uietly. “Don’t feel alone, Layla.”
She didn’t—that was the thing. Around Kane, she felt the least alone that she’d felt since Frank passed away. “What if we hurt each other?”
He took a few moments to reply. “I guess we’d both know it wouldn’t be deliberate. I’m not sure we could ask any more of each other than that.”
The sincerity in his voice touched her deep down and she reached across and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly for the remainder of the trip. As expected, her grandparents were delighted that she’d brought Kane and once both men and Erin were in the living room and Layla was in the kitchen with her grandmother, Maude made her approval obvious.
“He’s so good with Erin,” her grandmother said as she pulled an apple pie from the oven.
“I’m pretty sure he’s one of those people who are good at everything,” Layla remarked, and ignored the heat flaring way down, because while her grandmother was making one kind of comment, Layla was thinking something else altogether. Because if they were going to date, then they were eventually going to sleep together, and the idea of intimacy made her knees shake. Because instinct told her it would be mind-blowing and erotic and probably the best sex of her life. She’d had a loving and tender relationship with Frank, but she didn’t kid herself when it came to Kane—because there was something effortlessly sexy about him. And she wasn’t sure she was ready for it.
Lunch was fun and stress-free, mostly because her grandparents clearly thought Kane had hung the moon and Erin remained either in his arms or on his lap for most of the afternoon. It was easy to see how much her daughter craved having a man in her life—a father figure—and she knew she was clutching on to Kane because he was the first man Layla had allowed into their sphere since Frank died. Plus, he was extraordinarily relaxed with her and made it look so easy.
On their way home, her grandparents had thanked him for coming to visit and welcomed him back any time.
