by Craig Birk
Interlude Thirteen
Gary (28)
Gary was at a waterslide park. He didn’t know why he was there, and really wasn’t all that enthusiastic about it. Nevertheless, after walking up the hill to where the slides began he remembered that waterslides could be pretty fun and began to feel more positive about the situation. It was a bright, cloudless day accentuated by the faint smell of blueberry muffins. He stood on a cement waiting area. The entrance to one slide was to his left, while another one was on the right, requiring an additional climb of about twenty yards further up the hill.
Gary decided the one to the left would be sufficient and he walked over to the entrance. Strangely, there was no attendant at the top, so he just jumped in and began moving down the slide feet first. There were a few turns and he tried to shift his weight in an effort to make his body move up the sides of the slide, but he wasn’t going fast enough to get the momentum required.
Then, after just three turns, he entered a straightaway and saw the pool at the end of the ride just ahead. Though he was not going that fast, he hit the pool and was immediately submerged. His body was caught in a current and he flipped around head over heels a few times. Just as he was starting to panic about not being able to breathe, his head popped above the surface.
The fear subsided immediately and he looked back up at the slide in disappointment. It was the shortest, least fun waterslide he could remember having been on. Gary wondered if this really was a lame waterslide or if he just had inaccurate memories from childhood. He had not been to a waterslide park in probably fifteen years and it was quite possible that he was much smaller then and they just seemed a lot bigger and cooler.
He walked out of the warm water of the shallow pool and onto a small grassy hill. In front of him were some trees, similar to eucalyptus trees, but taller and thinner. They created a nice shady patch and he thought about going to sit in it for a while. Then, to his left he saw something quite unlike anything he had ever seen before.
There was a sea, stretching all the way out to the horizon. It reminded him of the sea off the coast of Dubai, although he had never been there. A few miles out, jutting up from the sea was the coolest looking waterslide he had ever seen. It was not built on a hill, obviously, but instead was held up by massive stilts coming out of the water. It was huge, perhaps a thousand feet high. The only way to get to the starting point was to climb a ladder at one end. Though the construction appeared very solid, it looked dangerous even to make the ascent. The slide came down at a sharp angle with several steep and twisting turns. Water rushed down it at an unnaturally eager pace and spilled over the sides at the sharper curves. At one point, about halfway down, there was a twenty-five foot gap in the slide where the rider would be airborne, required to jump the space before landing on the second half of the slide. The gap was still about a hundred yards up above the sea. If one did not have sufficient speed to make it across, it would be a fatal plunge downward. All told, the slide appeared to be almost two miles in length.
Gary was not sure if he wanted to try it. Certainly it was dangerous, but it looked like the most fun ride he had ever seen. Also, he wasn’t sure how to get out there. Maybe there was a boat service? He walked closer to the sea and instead noticed a one-lane land bridge with a paved road. He could drive. A car was right next to him. It was a convertible sedan, kind of like a three series BMW, but there was no brand name on it. It was dark green. While he was still not sure if he would actually climb up and ride the slide, he knew he wanted to check it out. He got in the car and started driving on the land bridge toward the slide. The sun sparkled off the sea.
There were a few sharp turns in the land bridge. Some of them snuck up on him and he almost lost control of the car and crashed into the sea. Gary realized he should probably slow down, but he wanted to go faster to get to the slide. He accelerated further, the car fishtailing around curves, the slide getting closer. He was pulled toward it by an unknown force.
Then, his cell phone rang. He was curious who could be calling. He stopped the car on the land bridge and answered the phone. It was his boss at work, Jim, one of the partners. Jim informed Gary that he had forgot to submit his STS report last week. Usually, whenever anyone mentioned the STS reports, there was an obligatory joking reference to Office Space, but Jim was not joking. He was quite serious about the problem with the STS report. Gary knew that if he wanted to avoid big trouble at work he would have to go take care of the report immediately. He was hit by a wave of sadness and literally felt heavier than before. It was hard to move. He would not get to ride the crazy-looking waterslide after all.
Gary arrived at the office almost instantaneously. He had substituted the bathing suit he was wearing for work clothes. Even though almost no time had passed to get to the office, when he arrived it had completely burnt down. The fire was already extinguished and there was no smell of smoke. All that remained were blackened fragments of the support structures of the building and piles of ash. Jim was there, explaining what had happened.
Gary looked around the scene. The office where he spent most of his days was gone. He felt nothing. He wondered if his favorite tie burned up in his desk.
Two hours later, over coffee and egg-white croissant sandwiches for breakfast, he told Blair about the dream. It was not until he said it out loud that he realized how obvious it all was. He took a sip of coffee.
Maybe if he didn’t have the mortgage payments. Maybe if he wasn’t married. Maybe if he didn’t have a little daughter. But he did. He thought back to the dream and wondered if he would have made it up the ladder, and if he had, if he would have survived the gap.
