“Hold up a minute. Where do you think you’re goin’, Katy?”
“Inside. Where else would I go?”
The man shook his head and pointed back toward the lot. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Do everyone a favor and just go home. We’re all here to remember our friend, not sit in the same room with the person that ended his life.”
I gripped the steering wheel while telling myself she could handle them.
“I have every right to be in there. He was my husband, and I loved him.”
“You loved him?” The guy spit on the ground in front of her. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes I wouldn’t have believed it. “You loved him so much that you had him arrested for a crime he wasn’t capable of doin’. You know that man never laid a hand on you, but yet you had him arrested for it, didn’t ya?”
“You think I inflicted those bruises all of those times on myself?”
I kept reminding myself that she was prepared for this.
“It don’t even matter what I think you’re capable of. If that weren’t bad enough, you took your daughter and ran off with your lover, so he couldn’t even see her. All he wanted to do was work things out with you.” At this point I was losing my cool. Kat didn’t budge from where she stood though, so I remained in the car.
“No, he wanted to hurt me worse.” She started crying, making me wonder if it was the right time to make an appearance. If she needed me, she wouldn’t be mad that I’d come.
“Katy, do us all a favor and spare us the drama. Sarah’s so upset because she brought you into Bobby’s life. She doesn’t need to see you here.”
“Please, Dave. Please, just let me pay my respects. I have every right to say goodbye to him. You couldn’t be more wrong about me. I swear, I would never want this for anyone, especially Bobby.”
I watched the minister approach her. I expected him to help her inside. “Bobby told me things during our sessions. He had his own demons, but I’ve got to be respectful of my daughter. How about we meet later and you can say your goodbye’s then?”
I was done listening to them tear her apart. I got out of the vehicle and headed right for them. “How about you get off that high horse and let the girl through? Isn’t this the Lord’s house? Where everyone is welcome?”
The first guy started to come at me. If he thought for a second he could take me, he was wrong. Kat grabbed the back of his jacket, while I stood there, showing him how much I wasn’t threatened. “Get your boyfriend out of here, Katy. My best friend is dead because of you. Leave now before someone gets hurt.”
“Dave, please. We’ll go. Please just stop this,” she pleaded. I didn’t get it. She was backing down because of this loser?
When the guy shoved Kat, I was done. I went right after him, taking him down with little effort. Kat took ahold of my arm before I could pound it against his face.
“Please stop. You need to leave, Brooks. Please, just go.”
I stood and dusted off my clothes. “I came here for support because I knew they were going to treat you like shit.”
She touched my hand. “I can handle them without you interfering. Just go before it gets worse.”
I pulled away from her. She was insane if she thought this was okay with me. “You know what, I’m sick of trying.”
I peeled wheels when I pulled away from the church. I was so angry at her for not letting me finish giving that man a beat down. He deserved to be hurt. I wasn’t going to stand around and let him shove her like that.
What really burned me up was the fact that she felt like sending me away would solve her problems. Whether I was there or not, they were still going to treat her like shit, and she was prepared to let them.
When I got back to the house, I didn’t really explain what was going on to my mother. I grabbed B and announced that we were going out for a little while. Once we reached the park I started to calm down. It didn’t help that she was going on and on about a puppy that was running around.
“Daddy, I pet doggy.”
“You can pet him. Be gentle.”
“Daddy, I want puppy.”
I watched the owners smile as B hugged the small vanilla Labrador. “You can’t have that puppy. He belongs to these nice people.”
She stuck out her bottom lips. The guy looked at me and laughed. “How do you say no to something that cute?”
I threw up my hands. “Clearly I don’t.”
B was sad when they walked away, making me wonder if we had room in our lives for a puppy. Then I stuck the thought aside, realizing we didn’t even know where life was going to take us in the future.
For a while after that, I pushed her in a swing. She went down the slide several times allowing me to catch her at the bottom. When she began to yawn, I knew it was time to head home.
“Did you have fun, bug?”
“Yes, but I want puppy.”
“I know you do. Maybe when you’re bigger we can get one.”
It was weird walking into the house with a cheery little girl and seeing two women crying. When I first saw them, I wondered if Kat was telling my mom how she couldn’t take me being around anymore. Maybe I’d overstepped and caused her to change her mind.
“It’s time I told you both the truth, because I can’t sit here and watch you two fall apart, when you’ve got a real chance at happiness.” I had no idea what my mother was talking about. What truth?
I whispered in B’s ear to go turn on her cartoons in her bedroom. When she ran in that direction, I gave them my attention.
“Look, Mom, I appreciate you trying to help, but if it’s all the same, I’m just going to head back to the barracks for the night.” I didn’t want to be told to leave.
Apparently my mom was in charge of whatever was happening.
“No, Brooks. You’re going to come sit down next to Katy and listen to what I have to say.”
When I refused to move, she pointed to the couch. “Now.”
I had no idea what my mom was about to say to us, but when Kat took my hand, I realized it had nothing to do with the funeral. Something else was going on, and from the look on my mother’s face I wasn’t going to like it very much.
Chapter 57
My mom had obviously just started a conversation with Kat. From what I could make it out seemed as though she’d had inquired about something. I felt lost at first.
“Katy, I know why your mother went to visit your father that day.”
I felt the need to protect Kat. “Do you honestly think this is going to solve anything that’s going on now? Don’t hurt her more with the past, Mom. Whatever it is, just leave it be.”
Kat squeezed my arm. “No. I wanted to know since it happened. Please. Tell me why she was there.”
My mother broke down right in front of us, hiding her face as she spoke. “I just want you to know that no matter what, I do love you like you’re my daughter. I’ve never done it out of guilt.”
I was at a loss for words, and obviously so was Kat. “What are you talking about?”
“We didn’t know she was there. She told your dad that she had a PTA meeting at the school. We wanted to tell her, in fact that’s why I was there.”
Kat put her hands in the air. “What are you talking about? Where were you? Who were you with? I’m so lost.”
I took her hand, feeling like I knew where this was going, finally, and if it was what I thought, things were about to get really depressing. “I think I know what you’re going to say. Mom, please don’t do this to Katy. Don’t do this to our family.”
“Your father has known since the night before they died. I told him first. We had decided to separate, and I walked next door to tell your father.”
Kat kept looking down and then over at me, but I wasn’t about to share what I’d suspected.
My mom cried harder. “Katy, I loved your father. I wanted to be with him, and I had ended things with Walt thinking that he wanted to be with me too.”
I tighten
ed my grip on Kat’s hand, making sure she knew she wasn’t in this alone. “Please don’t tell me that you were having an affair with my father. He wouldn’t. He loved my mom. I know he did.”
I could tell she was about to go off the deep end. Kat had always pictured her parents as being the perfect people. My mom was now confirming a huge sin her father had committed. This wasn’t going to help Kat understand the past. It was going to haunt her forever.
“I saw you kiss him and you told me that I was mistaken. I believed you. That’s what I saw wasn’t it? You lied right to my face.” I felt it was important to bring it up in case she mentioned it.
“You both need to understand that we’d all been friends for so long. It just happened and we couldn’t stop it. I tried to stop, I swear I did.”
Kat was starting to lose her grip. I felt her body shaking beside me. “So she caught you? Is that what happened?”
“Yes,” my mom sobbed. “We’d been having a heated argument, and I followed your dad into his bedroom. We could hear you three in the tree house and thought we were alone. He rejected me, Katy. You’re father told me he couldn’t do it. He said he wouldn’t ever leave your mother.”
“Then how did she catch you? She caught you talking about it?”
My mom got quiet, like it was too hard to talk about. “Mom, answer us. What did you do?”
She shook her head. “I was so hurt. I’d ended my marriage for him and he wouldn’t leave her. So, out of desperation, I threw myself at him, begging for one last night together.” She was quiet for a second. “And he didn’t resist.”
When Kat got up and ran into the bathroom I knew what was about to happen. I took it upon myself to scold my own mother.
“How could you do something like that? She trusted you. Dad trusted you.” I was heading into the bathroom to check on Kat, who I was worried more about.
“Brooks, don’t walk away. You need to hear everything.”
B came into the bathroom with a doll in her hand. “Mama, boosh hair.”
I watched Kat, with tears streaming down her cheeks, brushing a baby dolls hair. B didn’t like seeing her mom so sad. “No cry.”
I waited for B to run back out before addressing her mother. I leaned against the doorframe and listened as she spoke. “I can’t listen to her.”
“I know what you mean, but I need to know the whole story. This doesn’t just involve you or my dad. It involves all of us, even Branch.”
“I just had to bury Bobby, and now she’s making things worse. I can’t do it, Brooks. Find out what she has to say and then make her go. Buy her a ticket and send her home.”
“Kat, this time I’m asking. I need you.” She wasn’t in this alone. It involved me too. My mom had secrets, and now that they’d been revealed I was having trouble accepting them.
I helped her stand up and watched as she began comforting me.
I felt like it was important to let her know where I stood. This would change nothing for me. “No matter what she has to say, however it affects us, it won’t change anything for me. If you want space, I’ll give it to you. If we can’t move forward, I’ll accept it.”
Even though she didn’t answer, Kat took my hand as we went back out into the living room to face my mother.
“Why was my mother in that building, Danica? I need to know.”
“After she walked in on us, we didn’t exactly have the words to explain. She put on a pretty face and told me to leave, without saying anything else. I think that hurt me more than anything; the fact that she refused to look at me. I felt so ashamed and regretted everything immediately. I don’t know what they talked about, or how she managed to get through the night without anyone knowing. I went home and made dinner, just waiting for her to confront me. I even called you boys in early that night, in fear of having to leave and spend the night away from the house. Your father was a mess. I’d broken his heart, and he wasn’t willing to accept that we were through. The thing is, I never stopped loving him. I just got so caught up in the affair.”
It crushed me to think about my dad going through all of this. I couldn’t imagine what it was like for him to have the woman he loved and his best friend sneaking around to be together. Kat squeezed my hand to remind me she was there, but it really wasn’t helping much, not with this situation.
“The next morning he left for work and finally was able to call. He said that you were all going to be moving, and the house was going to be up for sale within the week. He told me that I was a mistake and that he’d spend the rest of his life making his mistake up to your mother.”
She put her head down and cried harder. “That’s the last time I heard from your father, but not the last time I heard from your mother.”
My mom looked right at Kat. “Katy, that morning she drove you all to school, and none of you probably caught on that anything was wrong. She was going to meet your father so that they could talk.”
“How do you know that? Because I know she wouldn’t have called to tell you that.”
“The school called me first, letting me know that I had to come get the boys. They asked if you’d be coming home with me, too. As angry as she was at me, I knew you were her first priority, so I called her. When she answered I could tell that it was bad. She didn’t get on the line and start cussing me out, or accusing me of ruining your family. She was calm, almost like she knew what was happening and that they weren’t going to make it. I’ll never forget the words she said to me.” She paused and kept her gaze on Kat. “Take care of Katy, Dani. Keep her safe and love her forever. Make sure Brooks never takes her for granted.”
I think we both started crying at the same time. It was like we were living that moment again, but now with complete understanding of how it all came to be. “Shh,” I whispered as I tried to console her.
I wanted to make this easier for Kat, but had no idea how. Her heart had been ripped in two the day she lost her parents. It was hard to remember her mother. I had a few instances where she made it a point to pull me aside and say something about Kat, but it was too long ago. I’d been through too much to remember back that far.
The fact that she knew I cared about her daughter back then made it all so real to me. I felt like somehow she knew we were supposed to end up together. Even as mad as she was at my mom, she could still picture Kat and I being together. I had so much adoration for the woman, and I hoped Kat did too. Her parents had met because they wanted to work things out. They died together, in each other’s arms. They loved one another until their last moments.
After several minutes of sobbing, Kat wiped off her face and looked toward my mom. “Why now?”
“Don’t you get it, Katy? You can’t move forward with Brooks because you think you were responsible for Bobby’s death. How do you think I felt, raising the daughter of the couple that I killed?”
God, I didn’t want this to be the conversation that brought Kat back to me, but damn if it wasn’t. She turned and looked at me with so much pent up sadness. I had no idea what to expect next.
My mom added one more thing. “Katy, you’ve got one life; one chance to make things right. It’s taken me a long time to accept the things that I can’t change. I’ve got to live with myself every day. I’ve got to look in the mirror and face those demons, but I do it, because I have you and the rest of our family. You see, out of something tragic, I learned to be better to myself and to the people around me. I worked things out with Walt and I’ve never loved anyone like I love him now. Seeing you making the same mistakes I made is killing me. I don’t want you walking away from something you were always meant to have. Even your mother knew it. You two have been in love your whole lives. I’ve never seen something so beautiful in all of my life. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me, but please don’t give up on each other. I know your parents are looking out for you. They brought you two back together. I have to believe that.”
When my mom got up and left the roo
m, it was difficult to come to grips with everything she’d said. For a while I sat silent, staring into Kat’s eyes. She had some valid points, and even though I didn’t agree with hashing it all out like she had, so close to Kat having attended a funeral, I knew why. We both did.
Now I just needed to know if it was going to make us, or break up the only family either of us had ever known.
Chapter 58
After all these years, the truth had been confirmed. Our parents were having an affair; one that led to her mother being in the Pentagon while the plane hit it. Like a row of dominos life had followed that path of destruction. I was speechless, and from the look on Kat’s face she felt the same discontent. Even though I’d suspected it, I didn’t know how I was supposed to look at my mother the same ever again. For my whole life, I’d assumed she and my dad were happy. They were such good parents. I wondered what went so terribly wrong that she fell into the arms of his best friend. Better yet, I wanted to know why Kat’s dad didn’t push her away.
Our families did everything together. It was almost sickening to imagine how right under our noses, they were sleeping together.
Then there was the fact that my mother chose to tell us when we were struggling. Was this her efforts to open our eyes to what was at stake? I didn’t know about Kat, but I already knew what I wanted. There was no doubt in my mind that we’d get through this. My hardest struggle was having to wait it out. Perhaps this confession would bring us closer together. I was too in shock to consider anything else.
It was strange how after my mother left the room we sat there in silence. I couldn’t find the words to express my feelings. I didn’t want to overstep what Kat could be experiencing. She was the one who lost her parents. Mine were still fine.
Without saying a single word, she took my hand and led me into the bedroom. “Wait here,” she requested.
I don’t know where she went in those few minutes. I kept listening, wondering if she’d gone in to confront my mother some more. I half expected them to have words, but the house remained silent. When Kat came back in the room, I was still sitting on the bed with my hands on my knees. I kept my face narrowed on the floor because I was afraid to look in her eyes and witness her pain.
Love Survives (Love Suicide #2) Page 35
