by D. Griffith
This storm is going on throughout the night, you can hear the wind roaring and whistling, the thudding of the rain drops. I love a storm, but not by myself. It’s why I’ve headed to bed to read. I’m reading a new book, called life after you. It’s by a new author. It’s actually, not that bad. I’m hoping my mind might drown the noise out. All of a sudden I hear a huge bang that made me jump in fear, the window burst open, due to this weather. I thought I secured that properly. I quickly jump out of bed and head towards the window to close it. As I’m shutting the window, I look ahead towards the tree, near the bench. Is that a figure I see? Staring up at me? Maybe it’s my imagination because I can’t see fully through the storm. Holy shit, it just moved a step closer. Great, I’m going to get hacked up. I slam the window shut and have a quick glance but there is nothing there. Damn my imagination, getting the best of me. Screw this shit, I’ve had enough time here, I’m heading back tomorrow. I’ll ring Adam and let him know. I quickly get my mobile, hoping I have a little signal through this storm, luckily I do. I hope he picks up. Yes he does.
“Hey, Adam! Do you have a storm there too?”
“Yeah! It’s horrific; I’m guessing it’s worse there? Is everything ok?”
“Yeah, I think I’m ready to come back though. I’ve got this feeling that I’m being watched, as I’m sure I seen a figure outside before, but then just like that it was gone. It could’ve been my imagination, but I don’t feel safe anymore. So I’m heading home tomorrow, it’s been a few weeks, so hopefully everything has calmed down. I’ll come to yours, but don’t worry I won’t stay! I’ll check myself into a hotel until I can find myself an apartment. I’ve got nowhere else to go and I can’t go back to Andi’s or Jared’s.”
“It’s ok, you can stay here until you find yourself a place, I’ll help you find a somewhere. Plus, I know all the routes! I can take you without been seen. As I’m guessing you’d rather that?”
“That would be great, thanks! Do me a favour though? Don’t invite Julie around while I’m staying with you? I don’t want her to know and she’ll tell Jared. He probably doesn’t care anymore, but still, please don’t.”
“Sure, peanut! I won’t tell her. I was about to go to bed but if you’re scared, would you like me to stay on the phone?”
“No! I’m alright now; I’m going to sleep myself.” I lie, because I’m petrified, but he will only worry.
“Ok, peanut! I’ll see you tomorrow.” Once I hang up, I go and check the window once more, no one’s there. I double check I’ve locked the window properly and head to the door and lock that too. Yes, I bought extra locks for on my bedroom door. I grab the golf club from under my bed. It was my dad’s which was in his room, but since I’ve been here I’ve kept it with me. Tonight, I’m going to sleep with it, just in case it’s needed. I grip tightly onto it and fall into my dreams.
The next day, I got up early so I can have one last coffee with Diana and to say goodbye to her. She has been great to me since I arrived here.
Once I’m at the cafe, I say with a tint of sadness in my voice.
“Hi Diana, the usual please, unfortunately, this will be my last visit as I’m heading back home today.”
“Oh no! You’ll be sadly missed, I love our morning chats. It’s nice to have a conversation with a young one; I hardly get to have chats with my children, as they’re never around.” She presses her lips together, and then lets out a sigh. She sounds disappointed. I reach my hand and place them on top of her ice cold wrinkled hands. I look deep in to her drawn eyes, hoping it will send hope into them.
“Hey, I’ll keep in contact! Give me you number. You know if you speak to your son and daughter and tell them how you feel, I’m sure they’ll do whatever they can, to make the effort. Hey, they did the other week, didn’t they?” A little light sparked in her eyes, once I said that.
“You’re right, I’ll call them later on once I’m finished, but let me give you my number and make your bacon roll and coffee.” She reaches under the counter and grabs a note pad and a blue pen to write her number down. “Here, feel free to call any time and make sure you call me when you get home, so I know you got there safe.” I smile at her kind concern; I’m going to miss her friendly ways.
“Of course, I will come and visit again sometime. I might even bring a few people with me.” She hands me my coffee and I take a smell, mmm that’s intoxicating. Who needs a man, when you have a good coffee?
It’s been over an hour and a half and I’ve still not left, I guess I’ve been stalling. Diana Finally gives me the push.
“Well love, you best get off before another storm hits.” She tilts her head to the side and gestures for me to come towards her, holding her arms out for a hug. I make sure I wrap them around her tightly, as I want to take her with me, she been such a dear to me.
“Thank you, Diana! You’ve made this holiday welcoming and amazing. Take care of yourself ok? Goodbye.” She nods, while gracing me with a warm smile.
“Take care of yourself, Danni! I wish you all the best. Goodbye.” As I leave, the pit in my stomach is filling up with sadness leaving her. I brush the lump in my throat aside and head to my car for a long journey back home; not knowing what path awaits me.
Chapter Twenty
Finally, I reach my brothers house. I compose myself as I unbuckle my seatbelt and open the car door, the cool air caressing my skin. I try to push back the bad memories that are trying to resurface, as I head towards the front door. I glance behind me worried that the reporters are still lurking around. What if nothing has calmed down? Should I have come back so soon? I shield my face behind my hands out of instinct. Come on, Danni! It’s been a month, obviously, everything has calmed down. I hesitate for a moment to knock, I still feel worried in case I bring more misery into their lives. I bang once, no answer, please be in. I bang again and still nothing, are you kidding me? I bang once more shouting.
“Adam, come on, it’s freezing out here.” Finally, I can hear footsteps running from down his stairs. My smile turns to a frown once I see who answers the door, it weren’t Adam, but it was Alex. He frowns at me with unwelcoming eyes; if looks could kill, I’d be dead.
Great, what do I say? We carry on glaring at each other, he’s got his arms folded, that’s a defence mechanism and I read up on that he’s still pissed at me.
“Hey, Alex! Why are you here? Where’s my brother?”
“Seriously, that’s all you can say? Shouldn’t I be the one asking the questions?”
“Alex, I’m sorry, but you had no idea what I was going through, I had to go away.”
“Go away? Don’t you mean run away? Without telling anyone where you were going.” His forehead is all creased in anger, I’m trying to read his emotion; his eyes have gone deep, that’s a sign of hurt.
“Alex, I’ll talk to you about all of this when we go inside, but not out here, they could be reporters lurking around and they would just love another story about me.”
He agrees and grabs one of my bags to help me get inside. The tension coming from us both is suffocating; you can feel the mixed emotions coming from him, anger, hurt and disappointment.
Once I’ve past the threshold he chucks my bag to the floor and turns to face me, he lounges his back up against the wall and pops one foot against it to keep his balance and runs his hands through his hair.
“So, come on then, tell me why you got off not telling a soul? Knowing, how much we’d worry. Not only did you break my best mate’s heart, you went when Andi was still in hospital and you didn’t even come and check if she was ok, after everything we’ve done for you, so come on, I want to know why you’d be that selfish?” My lower lip starts to tremble and my eyes fill up with tears. That was harsh; I fight them back and snap.
“You know what, that’s not fair! How dare you call me selfish, I went away because I thought it was for the best while everything settled down, everywhere I would’ve gone, the press would have followed and do you think Andi and Jared n
eeded that, at a time they were recovering?” I pause for a moment trying to catch my breath and wait for his response. My head started to spin, my hands are shaking through anger and yet he’s still not said one word, all he can do is put his head down. “Exactly Alex! You can’t even answer me. While we’re on the subject, yes! I might have run away, but do you have any idea what guilt runs through me because of what happened to them both? It’s with me every day, neither one of them would’ve been hurt if they didn’t know me. Andi couldn’t even look at me as she blamed me too, her words remember? As for Jared! I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I had to leave, I’m not good for him, he’s a decent person and he got put in hospital because of me. So don’t you stand there giving me grieve and make me feel more guilty than I already do. Walking away from him was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, because it broke my heart as well. So how about you back off.” I go to sit on the bottom step, as I can’t bear to stand much more, because my legs have gone like jelly with this arguing. I bury my head into my knees, this has brought everything back and it’s like, a never ending hole inside me which is too deep to be filled. I should’ve of just stayed at the lake house.
“Look, Danni! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. Come on, let’s go through to the kitchen and get you a warm drink.” He sounded regretful for what he said. We head towards the kitchen, as I opened the door; I notice everyone is here staring in my direction in shock. There are balloons around everywhere and a banner saying ‘welcome home.’ Great, now I just feel bad for going off on one. To break the ice in the background, in a low tone you hear.
“Erm... Surprise!” Trust Carl to be the one to still say that. You can feel the awkwardness in his tone as he speaking. “Well, we’re all supposed to jump out and shout surprise, until we heard all the commotion going on. Welcome back, baby girl.” I gaze around the whole room and all their eyes are set on me, what do I say now?
“Erm, thanks! Is there martini?” That’s all I could think of, hopefully it breaks the ice. Luckily it does, as an echo of laughs fill the room. Adam approaches me with a glass.
“Yes there is, I made sure I got some in for you. Sorry about all this, I thought it’d be a good idea so you weren’t worried about everyone being pissed at you. I thought they weren’t as they never said anything when I asked. Well apart from Andi, she kicked off, but not about you, but at me because I knew where you were and never told her. It’s all good now though.”
“Don’t worry; I think it’s brilliant that you did this for me, thank you.” That’s a lie; I want to kick his ass but I didn’t want to sound ungrateful. I wanted to come back to a quiet house and see people gradually.
He’s rounded everyone up; I have to hand it to him. There’s Andi and Alex over near the kitchen counter, Andi’s on crutches and her bump has gone huge. Darla and Carl are at the kitchen table, they’re both wearing joggers and are dripping wet with sweat ewe and Katie and Jay are on the opposite side of the table, they both give me a wave. I carry on scowling the room to see if anyone else had turned up, but there’s no one.
“He’s not here, Danni.” Adam says, knocking me out from my thoughts. I know who he’s on about, I feel quite disappointed. I try and play dumb.
“Who’s not? I don’t know who you’re on about, everyone I want is here.”
“You know who, Danni! I did ask him to come, well I asked his sister to tell him but he never got back to me. I guess he’s still pissed that you left him.” Ouch, that stung! It felt as if I was being stabbed again. I wriggle my mouth and nose together trying to stop the sadness overcome me, before I speak. I can’t help but twitch my fingers together hoping it will distract me from thinking of him.
“What can I say, it’s my own fault, but you know what, it’s pissed me off! You’d think he’d forgive like a normal person. Do you think he’ll forgive me one day?”
“To be honest Danni, I don’t think he will, from what I’ve been told, you pretty much creamed the guy. Once you break a dude’s heart, they build a wall, it’s a loss cause, forget about him
“It’s not like I cheated on him, stupid men.”
“Walking out on someone is just as bad as being cheated on.”
“Shut up and pass me another drink please. Suppose I should go and speak to Andi, wish me luck.” My heart is pounding as I’m walking towards her, she whispers something to Alex, oh she going to slap me, kick off and then slap me more. The pounding of my heart is getting louder and it’s the only noise I can hear throughout the room. I notice her white cast, so many people have wrote on it and done doodles on it, that’s a lot of love right there. Oh well, here we go.
“Hey, Andi! Look, before you say anything, Alex has already laid into me, but you should hear me out. You didn’t want to see me and you blamed me, I don’t blame you as it was my fault and that’s why I left because I couldn’t deal with the guilt. Yes, I should’ve told you, but you’re the one who didn’t want to know me afterwards. So in all fairness, you can’t blame me for that, but I’m sorry” She just stares right into my eyes; I think I pissed her off more. Without realizing, I start to squint my face, thinking she’s going to spark me right in the nose.
“Danni, it’s ok.” That’s confusing; I thought she wanted to kill me.
“Seriously? Don’t you want to kick my ass?”
“No! I should be sorry, I shouldn’t have told you to leave me alone and I certainly shouldn’t have blamed you. After all, it’s not like it was you in the car and it was never connected to you ex, the police are still trying to get to the bottom of it. I should’ve been there for you after he came to finish you of, after all he could have succeeded. The one reason I am pissed at you, is that you went to Adam and not me. We’ve always come to each other when we’ve needed too, but I’m not going to grill you about that, as Alex already has and you don’t need it again, come here.” Phew! I’m chuffed now, I can feel my insides lift up, as a weight has been dropped and a grin comes to the surface and we hug it out. In the background all you hear is.
“Awe, all in.” They all tower over us, wrapping their arms around us both, the giggles fill throughout the room. This moment, even if it’s just for a split second is perfect, you can feel the love and laughter, it’s blissful.
“Now, let’s get wrecked, we should have a few here and then head to the pub, what do you all say?” Trust Carl to come out with that, I think I’m ready to go back out into the public, especially if I’m with these guys.
“Ok, I’m game; I can’t get too wrecked though, I’m looking for a place tomorrow, so I have to make sure I’ve got my thinking game on, I don’t want to be going with a sleazy landlord.”
“Well, baby girl, you kept that one quiet, how come you never said when I was at the lake house?”
“Wait, what? He knew too?” I frown at Carl for bringing that up; they never knew he came up. He mouths the words ‘I’m sorry.’ I could kill him right now. Andi won’t forgive me for that.
“I knew too!” Damn it, Darla! Are they trying to get me hung?
“Danni, how come they knew where you were and not me?” She sounds like I’ve just stabbed her in the back. She nestles her head into Alex chest, now she’s hurt.
“Andi, it’s not like that! Carl only found out because he was on Adams case. When he came to me, I found out he never told Darla, but I didn’t want him lying to her, that’s all, it wasn’t done out of spite I promise.” She looks at me sadly, tears shining in her eyes. My heart plummets in my chest, as she nods her head and turns away from me, I can tell that she doesn't believe me. I'd do anything to make it up to her; maybe I could take her for a spa day? I'm lost in thought, thinking of all the ways I can make it up to her, as a hand moves in front of my face trying to get my attention. “What is it, Darla?”
“So, you’re game for coming for a few later? We can go to that bar in town that everyone goes too, or if you prefer to just go the local, we can do that? What do you think?”
“I’m game, how about we g
o to our local first and see how I feel afterwards. I’m still a bit on edge around people since I’m now well known. So If I feel secure after, then we’ll head to town. I think you and Carl need to change first, because no way in hell I’m I being seen in public with you two in joggers and sweating from head to toe, it’s disgusting, go and get changed, it’s not a good look.” She smacks my arm and mouths ‘mean’ while flicking her long wavy blonde hair that’s drenched in sweat at me. She goes and grabs Carl and drags him to the front door, shouting behind them.
“We’ll meet you all there at seven thirty, ok? Don’t be late.”
“Andi, are you going to feel up to coming out later? I know you can only have soft drinks, but it’ll be nice for us all to go, I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I understand your heavily pregnant and your due next week, so we can always go for a coffee tomorrow, if you like?”
“You’re right, Danni! I think I’ll miss tonight. These days am asleep for eight, being pregnant with twins, is exhausting.” She looks down at her bump and starts caressing her tummy, she looks so proud, but you can also tell that she scared to give birth.
“Ok hun, that’s cool! I’m supposed to be looking for an apartment tomorrow, but I can do that in the afternoon. Shall we meet at ten?” I turn to Jay and Katie to ask if they’re up for tonight, they look at each other to say, shall we? Or shall we not? Come on, answer already.
“Yeah, sure, we’re up for it! We’ll meet you there. How about you two? Adam and Alex?” Alex looks at Andi for approval. I can’t help but giggle to myself because he’s whipped, as his mates would say.
“Yes! You can go Alex; just make sure you come home handy and not too drunk, encase I go into labour.”
