by Lexy Timms
“Where are you?”
“By the meats!”
Kallie sighed as she clung to the book in her hand. But she honestly didn’t want it anymore. Eris pulled her in for a hug as Jeremy came around the corner, and Kallie felt like crying. Unleashing more pent-up emotions into the crook of her best friend’s shoulder. But she couldn't give Ash that satisfaction. She couldn't let him control her anymore like this. No matter how much she wanted to give herself over to him and no matter how much he meant to her, she had to find a way to move on.
She had to find a way to give him up.
“What’s up?” Jeremy asked.
“I’m done shopping. Can you check all this shit out? I’m going to take Kallie back to the car,” Eris said.
“Did something happen?” he asked.
“Ash happened.”
“What?”
“Ash is here this weekend. I’m getting her back to the car before another run-in happens.”
“Wait, he came into the store?” he asked.
“Just check out the damn groceries, okay? I’ll cut you a check for half of it all.”
“You know this weekend’s on me,” he said. “Get her to the car. I’ll be out in a little while.”
Eris wrapped her arm around Kallie and escorted her back to Jeremy’s vehicle. Kallie piled herself into the back seat and leaned her forehead against the window of the car. She felt tired. Empty. Ready for her first nap of the weekend. She closed her eyes as Jeremy stuffed the trunk of his car full of all the things they’d bought, and soon they were on the road headed to his house.
“Kallie?” Eris asked.
“Yep?”
“You know you can’t let him yank you around like this forever,” she said.
“Got it,” Kallie said.
“At some point in time, you have to acknowledge the fact that he’s going to think what he wants. But that still doesn’t give him a reason to verbally assault you in a fucking grocery store.”
“Yep,” Kallie said.
“He’s an asshole, and you need to—”
“Damn it, Eris. I hear you.”
“Can I play devil’s advocate for a second?” Jeremy asked.
“No, you can’t,” Eris said.
“Well, I’m going to. That James guy? He made a hell of an argument.”
“That’s false,” Eris said.
“Doesn’t mean it’s not a hell of an argument. I believe you. I believe Kallie. James Rathbone has a reputation in the community for being a slimy snake when he wants to be. But Ash doesn’t delve into this community a lot, so he isn’t aware of James’s reputation. And if you take all that shit at face value from the interview? It looks a hell of a lot like—”
“Can you shut up now?” Eris asked. “That would really be helpful.”
Kallie rode silently in the back seat of the car. All of this made her sick to her stomach. The fights she was eliciting between Eris and Jeremy. Knowing Ash was going to be in the Hamptons for the weekend. His anger. James’s disgusting interview. All of it swirled and meshed within the confines of her body. Kallie watched the expensive houses roll by as they made their way through the small town she was apparently not welcomed in. The beach grew closer and she could smell the salted air infiltrating the air-conditioning of Jeremy’s car. And the second they pulled into his beach house, she slammed herself out of the car.
Raced up to the front door.
Jiggled the locked door until someone approached her from behind.
“Here,” Jeremy said. “Up the stairs, down the hall in front of you, the door all the way at the end.”
Then he opened the door and Kallie took off running.
She took the stairs two by two until she set foot onto the decadent carpeted flooring. She raced down the hallway, her hand reaching out for the doorknob. She barreled into the room that boasted of a king-size bed, satin sheets, french doors that opened out onto a private balcony that overlooked the ocean, and an en suite bathroom. Kallie threw open the french doors and took in the crashing of the waves. The salty air that seemed to relax her. The cool breeze that filled her darkened room for the weekend. She kicked off her flip-flops and closed her bedroom door, succumbing to the only thing she wanted this weekend.
Then Kallie fell onto the bed, wiggled herself underneath the covers, and sighed.
The bed held her in its grasp, cradling her tired body. The rhythmic undulation of the waves coaxed her down from her anxious precipice. Already, the encounter with Ash was falling to the back of her mind. Already, she felt sleep hanging heavily over her body. She slipped out of her dress and scooted it off the edge of the bed, feeling the satin sheets caress her skin. It was the most comfortable thing she had ever lay against.
Well, the second most comfortable.
Kallie pulled the comforter up to her chin and closed her eyes. Her body felt exhausted, but her mind was swirling. Images of her wedding crashed through her mind. Her dress. Her ring. The chapel. Her parents. How beautiful Eris looked in her bridesmaid dress. How gorgeous she felt in her wedding dress.
Eris’s face when she ran up the stairs to tell Hallie that James had been caught cheating.
It wasn’t her job to prove anything to Ash. But she still wanted to. She wanted to prove to him that she wasn’t this gold-digging whore that the media was painting her to be. She wanted to shove it in his face and then yell at him. Beat against his chest and slam him against a wall. She wanted to be able to stick it to him and watch the horror roll across his face before she walked out on him.
She was tired of being walked out on. Of being tossed aside by circumstances beyond her control. But the mere thought of it made her feel even more tired than she already was.
And her body finally succumbed to sleep.
Chapter 2
Ash
So much for the fucking weekend getaway. Ash stormed out of the grocery story, his mind racing with anger. What the fuck was that woman doing on his turf? Why the hell was she even in the Hamptons? That gold-digging little bitch. She really expected to convince him with those big puppy dog eyes that she was somehow innocent when her escape from all this was the Hamptons?
Deep down, Ash knew he was being ridiculous. Being this angry was the hold she still had on him But whatever excuse he could find to give into his anger, he was going to take it. The way Kallie had burned him was fixed firmly in the forefront of his mind. His idea of spending a weekend in the Hamptons to get away from things obviously wasn’t going to work. Not with her around. Of course she would be there to spoil everything. To taint it with her disgusting ways and find herself another piece of man-meat to prey on.
Ash debated on going back to the city. On getting out of the cage he’d flung himself into for the weekend. Better yet, he could catch a plane. Fly one of his father’s to parts unknown where he could begin to undo the damage Kallie had etched into his heart. Seeing her in that store and feeling the way his heart still called out for her made him sick. Made him angrier than anything in the world ever had. How could he possibly still feel that way after what she’d done to him? How could his body and his soul and his heart still want her after everything that had come to light?
Ash drove at lightning speed through the town until he came to his family’s huge beachside mansion. He was glad he’d called ahead to alert the caretaker to make it ready for him. That meant the grocery store would wait until later. Ash had originally stopped in to get some booze and some snacks, since his father wasn’t much of a snacker and his second stepmother was fucking rail thin and Botoxed beyond all reason.
She was probably on some idiotic liquid diet to keep her figure.
Such bullshit.
Ash slammed into the mansion and crushed the door behind him. He made his way for the sitting room that looked out over the ocean. To his great relief, it didn’t look like the trip for booze was necessary. The minibar in the library was fully stocked. He strode over to it and screwed the cap off the first thing he could g
He threw them open and allowed the breeze to wash over him. He guzzled his drink, pouring the alcohol down his throat until it burned so badly that tears washed over his eyes. He chomped on the cherries, then went to make himself another. He could already feel the alcohol coursing through his veins. Settling his mind. Drowning the pain of his heart and blocking out the memory of Kallie in that grocery store.
As he walked back out onto the balcony and sat down, he tried to convince himself that none of this changed anything. Being in the Hamptons at the same time as Kallie didn’t change what he thought of her. If anything, it only proved what James had said in that interview. She was hanging out with her gold-digger friend who had sank her claws into his own friend. The proof was all there, staring him directly in the face.
And smelling of vanilla and lavender.
Ash threw the rest of his drink back and felt the drunkenness take over his body. His head fell back as the breeze coming off the ocean blanketed his skin and his mind began to spiral. He started thinking about why he always ended up alone. Why he was the one to drown in the loneliness that surrounded him. Initially, it was his defense mechanism. A way to not get hurt. To save him from the utter disappointment others could be in his life. If he only spent a night or two with a woman, then he didn’t have to worry about getting attached. About falling in love. About potentially getting his heart broken by that same woman.
Sure, he was trying to watch out for women who wanted him only for money. Who wanted to use him. But as his mind succumbed to the silent, drunken rambles, he figured that maybe there was something more to that. He’d been on his own ever since he was a child. Ever since his parents divorced when he was only three years old. His father left, and the only presence he had of him was the man’s money. His mother garnered millions upon millions from the divorce and sank into her own realm of Botox, plastic surgery, and expensive jewelry. And whenever one of them needed something from the other, they used him as a pawn.
Ash.
Their son.
A pawn to get whatever it was they wanted from the other.
His mind conjured images of that day. Of the last day they tried to sink their teeth into him. He had finally reacted. Yelled at his parents with tears streaming down his cheeks. His mother thought the child support wasn’t enough, and his father kept accusing his mother of being a “gold-digging, irresponsible bitch.” And Ash had roared out into the room and garnered their attention. It was the only thing he had at his disposal. He couldn’t break anything or throw anything. Fuck forbid he break something of his mother’s. It was in that moment that Ash had begged his parents to send him to boarding school. To send him away so he could escape their petty manipulations.
But even though his father footed the bill for his years of boarding school, and even though his mother came to see him whenever it was convenient for her, it didn’t stop their bickering. Their endless nonsense. Their topical, greed-fueled arguments. Ash picked apart their arguments in his mind as he leaned back farther into his chair, teetering it on its back two legs.
The arguments hadn’t been about him. Not really.
Ash was simply the artificial reason behind their bickering. It wasn’t the child support paycheck, it was the fact that Ash was the only thing his father would still invest in. It was a way for his mother to keep hold of the man she had once loved. And for his father, it was a way for him to keep taking swipes at his mother. To keep reminding her of the shell of a woman she had turned into after marrying such a vibrant, talented, well-to-do woman.
But it didn’t change the one fact that brought tears to Ash’s eyes.
All of his life, there was no one on his side.
No one to support him or protect him. No one he could trust. No one he could lean on or open up to or fall against when things got too hard. That was what made trusting people so hard for Ash in his adult life. That was the reason why this blow had burned him to his core. That was why he was so angry with Kallie.
That was why her betrayal had hit him especially hard.
He had finally trusted someone. Finally opened up to someone. Finally loved someone. Finally leaned on someone. And look what it had gotten him. Look at the ridicule he was experiencing. He found everything he never had as a child. Everything he begged for at three in the morning when he cried into his pillow at night as a teenager. Kallie had given him everything he wanted, and in exchange, she tried to leverage everything he had to give her.
Ash’s chair fell back onto its four legs and he got up, resolving himself to more alcohol.
He had to drink her memory away. He had to forget about her. He had to wash her from his system and get back to the life he was living. The only way of life he knew that protected him from the barrage of betrayal that clenched his heart.
No matter how much alcohol it took.
Chapter 3
Kallie
“Kallie?”
The small voice echoed off the chambers of her mind as she stirred in bed.
“Kallie. It’s time to eat.”
She groaned as she rolled over in bed, her cheek landing into the palm of someone familiar. Someone warm.
Ash?
“Kallie, it’s almost eleven o’clock. You need to come downstairs and eat.”
She opened her eyes, but instead of staring up into those warm hazel orbs, she was staring into the brown eyes of her best friend. Kallie furrowed her brow and lobbed her head over, taking in the small clock next to her bed.
“Holy crap,” she said.
“Yeah. You slept the entire day away,” Eris said. “I wanted to wake you for dinner last night, but Jeremy kept me from doing it.”
“Why?” she asked sleepily.
“All he would say was ‘you didn’t see her face.’”
Kallie nodded as she sat up, amazing that she’d slept so late. Maybe it was because she had cried herself to sleep. Or maybe it was because her body really needed the rest. Or maybe ... maybe it was because Ash had been there. Holding her hand and walking down the shoreline of the Hamptons with her. Smiling down at her and holding her close as their toes sank into the sand.
“Come on. Jeremy made brunch.”
“Wait. He cooks?” Kallie asked.
Eris laughed as she left the room and Kallie got dressed. She pulled on her bikini and threw her dress back over her head before she went downstairs. Her only plan for the day was to relax on the beach out front and do absolutely nothing. Then she could come back, take a bath, then fall back into her dreamworld where the man of her heart still smiled at her.
Still held her.
Still cared for her.
“So, any plans for the day?” Eris asked as Kallie came into the kitchen.
“Just the beach and then a bath,” she said.
“Sounds like a good plan. I’m in,” Jeremy said with a grin.
Eris eyed him carefully and he cleared his throat.
“You know, minus the bath part,” he said.
“A day of absolutely nothing sounds good. Can we join you?” Eris asked.
“Since when have you ever asked for anything?” Kallie asked.
“I know you’re hurting. I think it’s bullshit that you hurt because you should get rid of Ash and have fun with your life. But that doesn’t mean it works that easily for everyone. So, I figured we could join you. Go down to the beach. Spread out a blanket. Maybe swim in the ocean and have some wine.”
“There’s plenty of wine here,” Jeremy said. “My mother’s addicted to the stuff.”
“That’s what happens when a woman raises four boys,” Eris said.
“You have three other brothers?” Kallie asked.
“Yep. And I’m the youngest. My childhood was shit,” Jeremy said.
Kallie popped a piece of melon between her lips as a smile graced her cheeks.
“There she is,” Eris said. “There’s my best friend.”
“A glass of wine on the beach does sound good,” she said.
“Red or white?” Jeremy asked.
“Why not both?” Eris asked.
“I knew there was a reason I liked you,” he said.
The three of them ate some brunch before gathering up and heading onto the beach. Jeremy got the wine and the glasses, Eris had the beach towels, and Kallie brought up the back with snacks in a cooler. But as much as a day in the sun should've made her feel warm and lazy, she only felt cold and withdrawn. Her skin began to bronze and her joints felt relaxed, but her mind was anything but. The longer she stared at the ocean waves, the more she wished they would carry her out to sea. Suck her under and never return her back to the shore.
Kallie didn’t feel that coupling her mindset with alcohol was a good thing, so she decided to head back inside.
“Where are you going?” Eris asked.
“I have to poop. That an issue?” Kallie asked.
“No,” she said. “I’m just not sure if you’re telling me the truth.”
Kallie rolled her eyes as she made her way back to the house. She stood on the balcony and watched as Jeremy doted on Eris. Pulled her from the blanket and swung her around in his arms. Fed her snacks with his own fingers and danced with her in the waves. He dragged her out into the ocean, his arms wrapped around her best friend as they bobbed with the waves. They chased each other through the surf, and Kallie couldn’t remember a time when she’d seen her best friend so happy.
It reminded her of her time with Ash in St. Barts as tears rose to her eyes.
Kallie made her way upstairs and drew herself a bath. As hot as she could get it with as many bubbles as she could stand. She slipped her tired body into the jetted tub and let the water beat down upon her aching muscles. She pressed herself against them. Ran her back over them. Tried desperately to get the marrow in her bones to stop screaming at her. She relaxed back and sighed, her mind adrift on a float in the middle of a lake. The water surrounding her. The stars above her. The darkness below her.
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