Secure Love

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by Lexy Timms


  James wanted a trophy.

  And so did Ash.

  “This was always only temporary,” Kallie said.

  “No, it wasn’t. It was in the beginning, but it isn’t now,” Ash said.

  “Our lives are too different. You and I both know that. We have different goals. Different outcomes for our lives. I don’t want to spend my life hiding from the world. Hiding from the press. Hiding from other women who want to snatch you up for themselves. I don’t want to hide, Ash. I don’t want to be cooped up. I don’t want to be your trophy.”

  “Is that what you think I’m asking of you?” he asked.

  “We don’t have a good track record,” she said. “And being together won’t be good or healthy for either of us. It takes more than good sex to make a relationship work. We’ve got the sex part down, believe me.”

  Kallie drew in a deep breath and let it out through her nose.

  “But we aren’t good at any of the other stuff. Not together,” she said.

  “I don’t want a trophy, Kallie. You’re misunderstanding me. I don’t want to coop you up and away from anyone.”

  “It doesn’t matter what you want.”

  “But what you want matters?” he asked.

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Then explain to me what you mean, Kallie. Because I lo—”

  “Stop!”

  Kallie shrieked it. Screamed it. So quickly and so violently that it tilted her world. She stumbled against the boat. Shrugged off Ash’s hands as she leaned against the side. She knew what he was about to say. And if he said it, she would be a goner. She’d morph into the one woman she promised never to become with James.

  If she heard that phrase roll from those perfect lips, she’d stay.

  And she couldn't.

  She couldn't turn into that woman.

  The woman so many people accused her of being.

  “We need to return to the resort,” Kallie said.

  “Just one night. That’s all I’m asking for is one—”

  “Back. To the. Resort. It’s time for me to pack.”

  Her eyes flashed with anger and Ash relented. With a heavy sigh and hollow eyes, he stalked off to the helm. Kallie sat on a chair and finished another glass of wine as the boat was slowly guided back to the harbor. She had no idea if Ash was going to keep the boat and she didn’t care. It was time for her to get back to work. Her week in Bali was up, and she had clients who needed her. Family who needed her. A best friend who would want to know how the trip went. She had a life to fix. A reputation to uphold. Memories to create and a mangled, scarred heart to fix.

  Somehow.

  Kallie rode in silence with Ash in the back of a car. They made their way back to the hotel resort and she walked quickly into her room. She didn’t want to talk to Ash any longer. All she wanted to do was pack. She wanted to get out of there as quickly as she could. Get back to her apartment and the life she was familiar with. She didn’t care about Ash’s testimonial any longer. All she wanted was to lie in her own bed, go to work, and pound the pavement like she was used to doing.

  A simple life.

  That was all Kallie wanted.

  “Can I come in?”

  Kallie whipped her head up and looked toward the door in the living room.

  The first time Ash had used it to get to her in her room.

  “Sure,” Kallie said.

  She zipped up her suitcase and laid it on the couch of her hotel suite as Ash stepped in.

  “I’ve got everything as organized as I can get it,” she began. “The paperwork for the house is in that folder on your kitchen counter.”

  “I found it,” Ash said.

  “Once you deliver the papers to the realtor, whose address is in there, he’ll turn over the keys. I’ve got an appointment for you tomorrow at a car dealership at ten in the morning. You’ll need a way to get to and from that private beach of yours. The furniture stores are still expecting you, but Fridays are their busiest days, so I suggest seeing them this weekend instead.”

  “I’ll do that,” he said.

  “As far as the temporary visa goes, that paperwork is here.”

  Kallie walked over to her purse and pulled out a small folder of documents.

  “Fill those out, get them notarized, and deliver them to the address on the inside of the folder cover.”

  “Okay,” Ash said.

  Every word that came from her mouth hurt. And she had to admit, there was a small part of her that wanted to give in and stay. But as much as it hurt to leave and as much as it hurt to see Ash so defeated, she wasn’t sure if she could sacrifice everything to be with him. Kallie made a promise to herself when she met James. A promise that she wouldn't fall into the trap so many other women fell into. She wouldn’t succumb to his money and she wouldn’t bleed him dry. She’d keep her independence. She’d keep her want to be a career woman. She wouldn't let the rich society around her dictate the kind of mold she needed to fall into.

  At the time, she felt James deserved better than that.

  And standing in front of Ash, she knew he deserved better than that.

  It wasn’t just her job, though. She was proud of it. Maybe a little too proud. But there were other issues. There was a chance the press would follow them there. Ash in Bali wasn’t a story, but Ash in Bali with his supposedly gold-digging girlfriend was. What if the press followed them? Picked their lives apart after going through all this work to set it up? What if her presence ruined all of this for him? Ruined his perfect world and his perfect getaway? What if she was the reason why he’d always run from them?

  She couldn’t do that to Ash. She couldn't force him to constantly be on the run because of her. And she didn't want to be on the run either. As far as she was concerned, she couldn't see a way for them to work. Not without massive obstacles that completely destroyed them the first time around.

  “Are you sure about this, Kallie?”

  Ash’s beautiful voice yanked her away from her thoughts.

  Was she sure?

  Would she ever be sure?

  “Yes,” Kallie said. “I’m sure.”

  “Then I’ll have my private jet ready for you in the morning.”

  “I can buy a—”

  “Stop,” Ash said.

  Kallie sighed and closed her eyes.

  “My jet is flying you back to the city. End of story,” Ash said. “It’ll be ready for you on the tarmac we arrived on at nine in the morning. I’ll make sure the driver has the address. Order whatever you want while on the trip.”

  “That’s very kind of you,” Kallie forced herself to say. “Thank you.”

  “Yep.”

  Yep.

  The last word Ash would ever speak to her before he walked out of her room and closed the door behind him.

  “Yep,” Kallie said breathlessly.

  Then she flopped down into a chair and stared at the wall until she fell asleep.

  Chapter 23

  Ash

  “Taxi!”

  Ash ran with his shit in his arms as he slammed himself into the cab. He rattled off the address for the tarmac and told him to step on it. He had to catch that damn plane before it took off. He needed to get back to the city. After a fitful night of sleeplessness and a shit-ton of tossing and turning, he knew he couldn't let Kallie go.

  He didn’t know what the hell he was going to do, but he knew he couldn't let her take off.

  The cab pulled up to the tarmac just as the stairs were going up. He threw some money at the driver and strode toward his plane as the stairs quickly came back down to receive him. He shoved the last of his things into his bag and zipped it up as he took the stairs two at a time. And when he dumped into the cabin of the plane, he was met with a very confused Kallie.

  “I thought you were staying in Bali?” she asked.

  “I’ll be back,” Ash said breathlessly. “But something’s come up in the city and I’m needed.”

  He watc
hed Kallie nod, but she didn’t respond. He stuffed his things into an overhead compartment before he flopped himself into a seat. His mind was racing. He was frustrated. His eyes looked out the window as the plane ascended into the air and he didn’t even bother to put on his seat belt. He was in over his head. Never had something he wanted so badly been denied to him time and time again. But never in his life had he wanted something so much. Never in his life had he been willing to risk everything just to have someone near him. He knew his reputation would be on the line if he did it. The reputation of his family. The reputation of his heritage. He knew all of this could backfire in a fucking heartbeat.

  But she was worth it.

  Kallie was worth destroying himself over.

  As he stared out the window, he recounted his evening. How he’d paced his hotel suite and fought with himself as the sun rose. He told himself not to come. To give her up like Kallie had asked of him. He begged himself to move on. To stay in Bali and find someone else and live the life he’d procured for himself. It wouldn’t be perfect, but he’d still be happy.

  At least, he could convince himself he was happy.

  But he didn’t want to have to convince himself. He simply wanted the happiness to exist. And it did when Kallie was at his side. Yes, they had a history. So did every other great couple on the planet. And in history. Antony and Cleopatra. Romeo and Juliet. Churchill and Clementine. Granted, the first two couples weren’t an ending to aspire to, but their strength and their perseverance to be with each other, even through hard times, was astounding.

  Ash knew he and Kallie could be like one of those historical couples. The ones who weathered storms beyond their wildest imagination and came out stronger and closer for it. But those who weathered storms are those who fought the most.

  Just like him and Kallie.

  And after convincing himself that he couldn’t stay in Bali without her, he decided to pack up his shit and meet the plane. Ash loved her. He loved his Pretty Kallie. And he refused to let her go without the biggest possible fight he could put up. So he had one more gambit he was going to try. One more trick up his sleeve.

  And he prayed the entire flight back that it would work.

  The flight back to the city was long and quiet. Kallie stayed immersed within her work, typing away on her laptop and taking videoconferences with her earbuds in her ears. When she wasn’t working, she slept, and her soft snores tugged at Ash’s heart. But he couldn't sleep. When she slept, it was the only time he could steal glances of her. The only time he could look over at her and risk her not being angry with him.

  He was too worried about losing her to sleep.

  The plane finally landed after twenty-two grueling, sleepless hours of flight. Ash gathered his things and waited for Kallie to disembark. They stood there, at the bottom of the plane’s stairs, and it took all the strength he had not to drop his shit, crush her into his chest, and beg her to stay. Her bright-green eyes. Her soft copper locks. The beach waves that still kinked her hair from the Bali coast. All of it, beautiful to him.

  “Thanks for the ride,” Kallie said.

  “Anytime,” Ash said.

  He restrained himself enough to watch her go, then he rushed over to a car and booked it to his apartment. He didn’t even get his things dropped into his bedroom before he was making cell phone calls. Placing multiple calls to multiple people in an attempt to swing his plan into action. It was dangerous. It was massive. It had all the makings of the death of a reputation. Ash’s plan was dangerous, and it had a bigger chance of backfiring than working.

  But if he was going to convince Kallie that he was the right man for her, then he would have to do something big. Something that screamed above the voices of her mind the undoubted truth he knew within his heart.

  That the two of them were meant to be together.

  And he hoped with all his might it would be enough.

  Chapter 24

  Kallie

  With the plane ride and the time difference, Kallie was about to get a lot of work out of the way. So much so that the rest of the work she had to get done could be finished from her apartment. Which meant she could take a few days to recuperate from Bali before going back into her office. Kallie was exhausted. She could barely keep her eyes open. She had clients pouring into her inbox and blowing up her office phone to schedule new client meetings, but she would have to put them off until Monday. She needed rest. She needed to recuperate. She needed to catch up on all of the stuff she put off while helping Ash before she could take on anything new.

  But when she walked into her apartment, she was met with a heavy silence.

  Her place felt cold. Empty. Lackluster after her adventure on the sunswept island. She locked her door behind her and dropped her stuff beside her couch, mustering up just enough energy to pull on some pajamas. She grabbed her phone and buried herself within her blankets, then wiggled underneath her covers. Completely blanketed from the world, she texted Eris, apologizing profusely for not keeping in contact while she was in Bali.

  But she figured, since Eris hadn’t called her either, that she was too tangled up in Jeremy to care.

  Kallie placed her silenced phone on her dresser and slipped off into a deep slumber. But when her dreams arose, the only person that took them over was Ash. She dreamed of being in his arms again. Of walking the Bali coast hand in hand with him. Of feeling his body rock against hers underneath the moonlight as he gazed into her eyes.

  She woke up with a wetness between her legs and a heart that ached more than she’d ever known.

  Kallie picked up her phone and saw a slew of text messages from Eris. Everything from “no need to be sorry” to “why the hell aren’t you messaging back.” She picked up her phone and shot a quick message back, saying she’d fallen asleep.

  Then she put her phone down and fell right back into her slumbered state.

  Ash’s face plagued her all weekend. And all weekend, she did nothing but wallow in self-pity. She wondered why Ash had to come back to the city. She wondered if he was okay. She thought about Bali and the beautiful shoreline and the luxurious foods and how wonderful it felt to be against Ash’s body. She’d felt strong in that place. Desired. Important. But she didn’t feel any of those things in her apartment.

  She didn’t feel any of those things in the city.

  Every time she walked into her bathroom, she couldn't muster the strength to clean herself up. So instead, she’d slip back into bed and fall back into her dreams. Returning back to the lost, lonely, isolated woman she had become. It made her see the city differently. It made her see her life differently. Maybe her business was a crutch. Something that was crippling her instead of helping her. Maybe Ash was right. Maybe New York City was nothing but a noose around people’s necks.

  All she knew was her apartment didn’t bring her the happiness it used to.

  And she was regretting her decision to come back.

  The grease gathered in her hair and her body began to stink. Her sheets reeked of an odor she’d never smelled before. Kallie’s eyes opened on Sunday morning to a heavy banging at her door, which only caused her to wrap herself farther into her comforter.

  “I’m taking down this damn door if you don’t open it, Kallie.”

  Eris.

  Of course it was Eris.

  Kallie slid from her bed and dragged herself to the door. And the second she opened it, Eris recoiled. She watched her best friend crinkle her nose before she swept her eyes up and down Kallie’s body.

  “Did you die in here?” Eris asked.

  “Just recuperating,” Kallie said.

  “No. You’re not recuperating. You’re dying. Rotten bodies smell better than you do right now. Come on. You’re taking a shower and I’m ordering takeout.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “Your hollowed-out cheeks tell me otherwise. Get in the damn shower.”

  The hot water felt good, but not as good as the cool ocean waves. Nothing about he
r apartment could ever hold a candle to what Ash showed her on the island. And her pathetic shower only reminded her of what she’d turned down. Kallie washed her hair and cleaned the days’ worth of dirt from her body, then grabbed a sundress from the closet and threw it on.

  She didn’t even bother to put on a bra.

  “Got pizza and beer when you’re ready!” Eris exclaimed.

  “I didn’t have beer here,” I said.

  “I went to the store to get some. You were in there awhile.”

  “You left my apartment unlocked to go get beer?” I asked.

  “You’re not dead. You’re fine. Now come sit down and tell me how Bali went.”

  “You’re not going to like it.”

  “You fucked him, didn’t you?” Eris asked.

  “Three times.”

  “Well, at least you didn’t try to dance around it this time.”

  “No use in trying to hide it. He started hitting on me in my office during our initial meeting, then he fucked me there.”

  “No, shit. Office sex! Not one I’ve experienced yet,” Eris said.

  “Then he fucked me on his private jet.”

  “Ooh, a luxurious fucking. Nice. And?”

  “And then we fucked in the ocean. And on the beach. But I combine the two because it was the same encounter.”

  “Damn, Kallie. Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

  “I don’t have the energy to sugarcoat it anymore, Eris.”

  “I don’t know why you were trying to in the first place. That dance with you gets old. And frustrating.”

  “I fought it a little bit on the plane, then I figured Bali could be our last hoorah. And I did go there to get him set up. We found him a couple of new surf shops. His new favorite bar and restaurants. He bought a house on the beach. That thing has a private pier and a private dock.”

 

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