I smiled through the pain and looked up at my dad, seeing the clock over his right shoulder. It was almost nine in the morning. “Where’s Mom?”
“She went down to the café to grab a bite to eat and some coffee. While she’s gone, I wanted to talk to you,” he said, walking around the bed and sliding one of the chairs to the bedrail. I hadn’t noticed until then it had been moved from last night. “Sweetheart, why didn’t you tell me about the texts?”
I regretted my decision to keep quiet. My bottom lip quivered and I quickly averted my eyes. Looking down at my hands, I fumbled with the clear tubing as my cheeks burned. I knew I should have said something to him. “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want anyone else worrying. I really thought it was one of those awful girls from college messing with me. I’m sorry, Dad. I screwed up.”
“No, sweetheart. You didn’t do anything wrong. This could just be a huge coincidence.” My dad was great at evading the truth; it’s what he did for a living.
“And if you actually believed that, I might too.” I draped my arms over the pillow laying on my stomach. “They sent me a picture of me and Ashton in the grocery store a few weeks ago.”
“Do you remember exactly when that was?” Dad looked like he had a revelation.
“Uh, I think it was the Thursday before last. It rained so we cancelled lessons. Why?” The hair on the back of my neck bristled.
“You let me worry about this, honey. The only thing I want you doing is resting and taking care of yourself,” he told me, reaching out and squeezing my hand. “I’m gonna step outside really quick. Mom should be back any second.”
“Hey Dad, do you know where my cell is? I haven’t seen it since . . .”
He stopped in the doorway. “It was broken, honey. I ordered a new one first thing this morning, I hadn’t thought of it before now. They said they’d overnight it.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
Overwhelming dread washed over me as I watched him stride out of the hospital room. The panic slowly rose and climbed my body, gripping each muscle, getting tighter as it went. My breathing got more ragged with each passing second. Was the same person that took my picture the person responsible for hitting me?
“Kinsley,” my nurse appeared in front of me. “Darlin’, are you okay?”
I didn’t hear her come in. “Yes, ma’am.”
“You sure?” she asked, her brow wrinkled in the middle.
“Yeah, it’s just the pain,” I lied. I was two seconds away from a massive panic attack. In my mind, I counted backwards from a hundred skipping every third number.
“Okay. I’ll give you this then chart it.” She rounded the bed with the syringes in hand.
Within a minute, I was weightless and floating. The pain and anxiety slowly slipped away like a low tide, drifting further and further away.
Cynthia smiled at me after she finished scanning the medications into the computer. “I’m just out here if you need anything.”
“Thanks.” Looking down, I saw the wired remote and thought some background noise might be good. Pressing the blue TV button, I flipped through the limited channels and found Friends on TBS. It wasn’t long before my eyes began to revolt and droop.
“I can’t believe she is still asleep,” I heard my mother whisper.
“She has to be exhausted, but she’ll be awake soon,” Dad said reassuringly.
“I’m awake,” I told them, opening my eyes. The clock on the wall ahead was the first thing that came into focus. It was almost six. I had been asleep for hours, but my body didn’t ache quite as bad as the last time I woke up. “I was just resting my eyes . . . Hi, Momma.”
Tears spilled from her eyes as she shoved the cup of coffee she was holding at my father. “Oh, baby. You had us so scared.” She rushed to the bedside, bent down and carefully wrapped her slender arms around me. The familiar lavender and mint scent of her shampoo comforted me as her soft dark blonde hair fell forward around my face. “Don’t you ever do that again, you hear me?”
There was nothing better than Momma Hugs. I rarely called her Momma anymore, but she gushed when I did. I might have shed a few tears too. Maybe.
“I second that.” Cooper’s voice came from the doorway. My heart raced, and that damned monitor betrayed me and beeped just as quickly.
Mom pulled back, smiled at me then stood up. She was dressed in pink capris and a short-sleeved white silk top. “Honey, why don’t we go get some fresh coffee?” Mom turned and gave my dad a look, her eyes went to the door.
“My coffee’s still pretty fresh,” Dad said, looking down at his coffee, then to Mom standing by my bed.
Cooper stood at the foot of the bed, blocking the television mounted on the wall behind him. He was dressed in navy shorts and a plain white cotton t-shirt that hugged his ripped chest. His dark hair still damp. “You don’t have to leave.”
“It’s fine,” she addressed Cooper before turning her eyes back to mine. “You must have questions about the accident. Cooper was there, maybe he can answer them.” Mom winked and then ran her hand down my hair, smoothing it. “We’ll be back in a little while.”
Subtle, Mom. I rolled my eyes as my chest tightened. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be left alone with Cooper. My heart wasn’t ready for him. Good or bad.
“Come on, Phil, let’s go grab a bite to eat,” Mom said, slipping her arm around Dad’s and pulled him from the room.
“Fine,” he grumbled. “I guess I could eat.”
Watching them leave reminded me. “Their vacation. Crap.”
My eyes settled on the magnificent, heart-stealing man in front of me. I watched, silently, as he came to sit next to me. My ego was almost as bruised as my body. I didn’t know what to say to him.
“You didn’t have to come all the way up here. Shouldn’t you be working?”
“I’m right where I should be.” He leaned forward and rested his thick forearms on the bedrail. “How’re you feeling?”
“Like I got hit by a truck,” I snickered. My joke was not rewarded; instead I got angry eyes. “What? I did. I feel like I got hit by a truck. I’ve got a broken leg and am missing a body part. I hurt.” Looking into his eyes proved to be too much, I felt like he was looking into my soul. I diverted my eyes to the episode of Friends where Joey and Rachel start secretly dating.
“It’s all my fault.” The dejection in his voice almost broke my heart as much as the words.
“What?” I looked at him, looking down at his hands hanging over the rail. “Why would you think that, Cooper?”
“If I hadn’t gone into that shed, you wouldn’t have left the party. You wouldn’t have been in the path of that asshole,” he growled the last word before standing and pacing the white vinyl floor in front of my bed.
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.”
“You’ve gotta stop beating yourself up, Coop. It’s not your fault and if you need to hear me say it over and over, then I will, but I would prefer not.” I took a deep breath and looked at him. The bags under his eyes told me he had not been sleeping. His beautiful face was riddled with guilt. “If guilt is the only reason you’re here then maybe you should go.”
I didn’t want him to go though. I also didn’t want him sitting here, holding vigil because he blamed himself. Releasing his gaze, I looked up at the television, not wanting to watch him leave me all alone.
“That’s not the only reason I’m here,” he claimed. Just as he opened his mouth to continue there was a knock at the door.
In came my nurse from last night, Eric. “There’s my favorite patient. How’re you feeling, gorgeous? Ready for some pain meds?” Eric strolled in, breezing past the bed, right up to the computer. “Looks like you’re also due for a bath. The doctor also put orders in to remove your catheter which means you’ll be able to get out of the bed.”
Cooper’s brow pinched together in confusion.
“I have a catheter so I don’t have to get up to pee,” I explained.
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“So, who’s gonna take it out?” Cooper asked irately.
“I will. It’s not difficult.” Eric answered without so much as glancing away from the computer. “Looks like you’ve got about forty-five more minutes before your next dose of pain meds. Cynthia came in around two while you slept and gave you the schedule medications.” Well, that explained a lot. He locked the computer and turned to face Cooper and me. “I’ll go get the stuff for your bath and a syringe to take out the catheter. Be right back,” Eric said from the end of the bed.
“Sounds good,” I smiled.
Cooper’s jaw twitched as his arms slid back until his hands wrapped around the bedrail with a vice like grip. “There’s no fuckin’ way he is going to be putting his hand anywhere near your . . . catheter.”
A satisfied grin slips across my face. Cooper O’Loughlin was jealous.
“He’s a nurse,” I reminded him.
“He’s got a dick and clearly a thing for you, his favorite patient,” Cooper mocked, still holding onto the railing like it was going to get up and run out of the room. “I’m going to ask for a different nurse.”
“No. You will not.” I grabbed his wrist as he stood up intent on making trouble. “Eric has been nothing but professional. If you heard him with any of the other patients here, you’d hear him saying the exact same thing to them. He just has a sweet bedside manner.”
Releasing Cooper’s wrist, his shoulders fell as did his head. “Fine.” He sat back down. “That doesn’t mean I’m gonna sit here and watch him give you a bath.”
Cooper was positively green with envy. While I knew I should be pissed at him for giving me false hope, I couldn’t help myself with him. It was like some sort of malfunction inside my head . . . or maybe my heart.
“You don’t have to watch. Maybe you should go.” I was reminded of the conversation Eric interrupted. “I don’t need you sitting here feeling guilty. You were honest about your feelings and that is it. The rest is on me and the driver who hit me.”
“Kinsley,” he sank back into the chair next to me. “What if-”
“Knock, knock,” Anna said as she entered the room carrying a vase full of yellow, purple, and pink wildflowers. “Oh, Cooper, hey.” She turned and looked behind her as Ashton came through the door with plastic bags in hand. “Your brother’s here. It’s a good thing we brought plenty of food.”
Ashton entered, holding up the take-out bags. “Got your favorite.”
My mouth salivated at the thought, but I knew he didn’t get my favorite because my favorite was not from a restaurant. No, my favorite was Maria’s baked ziti.
“Mom made ziti?” Cooper asked, and my heart exploded at the knowledge he knew my favorite food. Before I could say anything, I looked down at him and was reminded of what he said to me inside the pool shed. He didn’t feel the same way I did. He cared for me, sure, but he didn’t love me. I was just familiar.
“No. We got cheesesteaks from Frank’s,” Ashton said indubitably.
“Oh, I love Frank’s cheesesteaks.” My eyes lit up. It might not have been my favorite, but it was pretty darn close.
“See.” Ashton nudged Cooper as he sat down one of the white bags on the bedside tray while Anna set the flowers on the deep windowsill. “Lizzy, I’m gonna set some of this stuff on the counter by the sink, cool?”
“Sure.”
Cooper stood and bent forward, his face only a few inches from mine. “We will continue this conversation later.”
His breath was minty fresh and intoxicating. The wild look in his eyes made me second guess everything I thought I knew but the need to protect my heart was stronger. “I don’t think there is anything left to say.”
With a tight jaw, he slowly stood upright, his eyes never leaving mine. A chair scraped across the floor, breaking the hold. Ashton and Anna had pulled two other chairs to the side of the bed as they began pulling foil-wrapped subs from the bag. I watched as their hands brushed, and heat flushed across Anna’s face.
“You stayin’, bro?”
Cooper looked from me to Ashton and back. He sat back down and smiled at me. “Sure. I could go for a cheesesteak.”
Bastard.
Why did he need to torture me so much? He knew what he did to me because I laid it all out there like a big dumbass, more than once. And more than once, he shot me down. He had to know what being around him did to me. My shredded heart couldn’t take much more torment. Being so close to him was inebriating, it made me stupid. It made me want to forget what he had done and how he gave me hope just to rip it away.
* * *
My parents returned around seven-thirty with fresh cannoli from a local bakery. Ashton, Cooper, and Anna left just before eight and went home. Anna happened to mention that Ashton had been crashing on the couch at my place since the accident. I made a mental note to text Anna later when nobody was around, and I had a new phone. I couldn’t wait to hear what had been happening between the two of them. Maybe if I could focus on the two of them, my own heart might start to mend.
“I’m not trying to be nosey, but has Anna said anything about Ashton? Those two have been inseparable since your accident.” Mom, always the matchmaker.
“I haven’t had a chance, but I was just thinking about this,” I said, laughing. “She’s hinted that there might be a possibility for more.”
We sat quietly watching some home improvement show when I realized it was getting late.
“Mom?”
“Yes, honey?” She turned in her chair to face me.
“Would you stay with me tonight?”
Tears pooled in her eyes. “Of course, my angel.”
Eric came back in with an arm full of supplies. “I thought you might be ready for pain meds and to get that catheter out. I didn’t want to interrupt you and your friends.”
“Thanks.”
“That’s my cue to leave. Liv, I’ll bring you some clothes in the morning.” Dad stood up on the right side of my bed, leaned down, and kissed my forehead. “Sweet dreams, Lizzy. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Dad.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Mom told him. “I’ll be right back, Kins.”
Eric set down the supplies on the counter. “Your flowers are beautiful.”
“Thanks, my friends brought them.”
“I’m going to use this syringe to deflate the balloon holding the catheter in your bladder, then I will gently pull it out. It shouldn’t hurt but if it does, let me know.”
With a few instructions and deep breaths, he relieved me of the tube in my bladder. I didn’t realize how uncomfortable it was until it had been removed. Eric gave me the pain meds and said he would leave everything for a bath near the sink after I told him my mom would take care of it. A hot guy, nurse or not, seeing me naked after being run over and unconscious for three days, was not on my to-do list today.
Cooper’s opinion on the matter did not factor into my decision. At least that is what I told myself. I wasn’t ready to be honest with myself about anything Cooper O’Loughlin. For the time being, I would bury my head in the sand.
A WEEK AFTER MY ACCIDENT, I was finally being discharged. I would need to use a wheelchair for a few weeks until the incisions in my side healed and I could use crutches. Anna had originally planned to stay for a week or two, but since she didn’t have any classes, she decided to stay until I was back on my feet, despite my protest.
Cooper had gone back to work Tuesday but had taken off early today. He had finally got the transfer to Aberdeen like he had wanted. He moved back to the farm and had been helping his mom with his dad. Despite hospice being brought in almost two months ago, Scott hung in there. Having Cooper around took some of the pressure off Ashton, and I could tell he felt lighter. Then again, that could be all Anna’s doing.
When Mom started talking about bringing me home, Ashton and Cooper both offered to carry me up the stairs to my apartment. The problem was once I got up there, I would be stuck. Anna couldn’t carr
y me down the stairs.
“What if you come stay at the farm?” Cooper sat on the foot of the bed on my right side. I had my right foot tucked under my left thigh. It was as close to cross-legged as I could get for now.
“That’s crazy.” Mom shook her head. “Maria has enough on her plate. Kinsley can stay with Phillip and me in the main house.”
“There are still stairs to get to the bedroom and out the front door. I think Cooper’s idea’s pretty good,” Ashton said. “She can stay in my room.”
Cooper’s eyes cut to Ashton as he grumbled. “I don’t think so.”
“Kins could take my room and I could stay in her place like I have been.”
I knew that Ashton had been staying on the couch, so Anna wasn’t alone, but I had a sneaky suspicion that it was much more than that. I couldn’t be the only one noticing the subtle glances and hands brushing each other when they were close.
I grinned at Anna. “Anna, how do you feel about this? I mean, I could stay at my place with you but getting up and down the stairs would be impossible. Then again it’s not like I have a reason to be out and about.”
“Your apartment has a large shower that you could be able to sit down to shower,” Mom added.
We all sat around the hospital room debating the pros and cons of each place. I would feel more comfortable in my own space, but it would not be functional. The O’Loughlin’s house was all one floor and already had a ramp in place for Scott. It would be more practical and easier for me to be independent.
“You need to talk to Maria before we just spring this on her.” Mom was not happy about the arrangement but agreed for the first week or two it would be the better option.
“I’ll go call Mom.” Ashton stood and walked from the room, but not before his leg brushed along Anna’s knees.
“Mom, could you go see if they have the discharge papers ready?”
“Of course, honey,” she smiled and vacated her chair.
I waited until she was out of the room. “Coop, can you give me and Anna a minute?”
“Sure. I need to check in with work.” He rubbed my knee.
Claiming Cooper (O'Loughlin Brothers Book 1) Page 14
