by Maisey Yates
“You were eighteen. Of course you took it. And you should have. Look what you got because of it!” She waved her hand around, indicating the large living room around them. The high ceilings with natural log beams running across them, the expansive windows that provided a view of the mountains, of the spread that Jack owned. His land. “You can’t regret it. You achieved your goal. You made what you needed to.”
“It doesn’t always feel like it. I mean, I have all of this, and I’m happy to have it. I love my house. I’m proud of it. I’m not going to pretend that I’m somehow above the money, not when it’s created the kind of life I always wanted. But I do wonder what would’ve happened if I had just told him to go screw himself. I think that’s what my ranch is, honestly.”
He was treading a dangerous line, one that risked violating legal papers he’d signed. He wasn’t sure he cared. He prized this moment over any of that. This moment of honesty like he’d never had before.
“I’m still listening,” Kate said, her way of asking for more.
“Nathan West is my father.” He knew he didn’t have to impress upon her how important it was she kept it a secret. Knew he didn’t have to demand her silence, because she would give it. He believed that down to the core of his being.
She said nothing. She simply went perfectly still in his arms. He listened to the silence for a while. To the sound of her breathing, the tick of the clock that he never looked at on his wall. That the interior designer had insisted go there because that was the kind of thing that went in houses like this. He’d had to hire someone to put furniture, and the blanket Kate was currently wrapped in, in his house. Because he’d lived in a glorified cracker box and he hadn’t known where to begin in terms of filling a house this size with things. In part because there were things for houses he hadn’t even realized existed.
“Sierra flirts with you,” Kate said, breaking the silence. “That is seriously messed up.”
He laughed—he couldn’t help it. Of all the things he’d expected her to say, that wasn’t it.
“Oh my gosh,” she continued, “what if you didn’t know? This is a really small town. Sierra likes you. She would... If you didn’t know...”
“Stop. Stop right there. You’re turning this into an after-school special.”
“I’m just saying.”
“I’m sure he never thought it would be an issue. Seeing as I’m sure he never thought one of his daughters would ever want to slum it with me.”
“How can he think that when he wanted your mother? And I don’t mean that your mother is slumming it. I just mean that it’s awfully hypocritical.”
“Yeah, well. He’s a hypocrite. A very comfortable hypocrite, by all appearances.”
“You have brothers and sisters,” she said, her tone muted.
He nodded slowly. “I traded them for this place, too.”
“Well, I suppose, especially when you’re eighteen, money means a whole lot more than half siblings who might be as terrible as your dad.”
“That’s about the size of it.”
“What happens if you tell?”
“I have to give the money back.”
“Can you?”
He stared straight ahead at a knot on the wooden wall. “Yes. I can. But I’ve been so focused on building a competing empire and messing with them I haven’t really wanted to yet.”
“You got his attention.”
“I guess I did. I think maybe I even scare him.” He swallowed. “It’s less satisfying than I imagined it would be.”
“Why?”
He laughed. “Good question. Maybe because it means my dad is a dick. And there’s no alternate scenario, no outcome other than that. It just is what it is. And now I can’t pretend different.”
“If it helps, my dad is dead. And I lost the chance to yell at him.”
“What’s that supposed to help?”
She snuggled deeper against him. “I don’t know. Misery loves company?”
“You’re pretty good company.”
“Good miserable company.” She yawned and he wished that she could stay the night. He never wished women would stay the night. They never did. But he wanted her to. Because she was different. So he wanted to keep feeling different.
He took hold of a lock of hair, tugging it gently. “You’re a pretty fantastic little misery, it has to be said.”
She reached up and covered his hand with hers, slowly locking their fingers together before lowering them so their clasped hands rested on his knee. He wasn’t one to sit still. He worked, and when he was with a woman, they went about their business, and then she left. Jack was only still when he was sleeping.
Except now. And he found he didn’t want to do anything but sit here. It was the most productive bout of stillness he’d ever been a part of. Whether because of the words that had just been spoken or because of the calmness that came from sitting next to her, he didn’t know. But it felt more substantial than a whole day of hard work.
“I suppose you should go,” he said after the minutes had turned the hand on his largely ignored clock halfway around.
“Probably.” She angled her head and he responded to the invitation, bending down and kissing her. They didn’t have time for the kiss to be anything else, and there was something deeply sensual and desperate that he couldn’t quantify in that. Kissing for the sake of kissing had gone extinct in his life once he’d lost his virginity. He was starting to think that had been some shortsighted stupidity on his part.
He let himself get lost in the softness of Kate’s lips, the slow slide of her tongue, the little sighs that rested on the back of her indrawn breaths.
“I have to go. We’re all having dinner tonight.”
“I was invited, actually,” he said, feeling a kick of guilt that he hadn’t mentioned it before.
She looked at him, her expression hopeful. She wanted him around. It shocked him how much that assurance meant to him. “Are you going to come?”
“I don’t have to. If it’s weird.”
“It’s weird. But I would rather see you again than avoid the awkwardness.”
“I think that’s the best compliment I’ve ever gotten.”
“Good.” She kissed him again, then stood, holding the blanket around her body. “You better come.” She started to collect her clothes and he grabbed hold of the edge of the blanket, tugging hard until he seized possession of it. She squeaked, holding her clothes to her chest as she scurried across the room toward the bathroom.
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He wasn’t quite sure how Kate managed to take him from one of the hardest subjects he’d ever talked about to smiling in the space of a few minutes. His smile broadened. Because he would see her again tonight, and that was about the best thing he could think of.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
IT WAS A fine day for a rodeo. She could only hope tomorrow was, too. The weeks had passed quickly, much more so than Kate had anticipated. The leaves had changed, dramatic red, orange and gold replacing the vibrant green. Though the mountains remained that particular shade of pine that earned the name evergreen with ease.
The day was crisp and clear, and vendors were setting up around the outside of the expo’s indoor arena without fear of rain.
As she walked down to the gates where the competitors would assemble, her stomach flipped. A twitching feeling in her stomach like a horde of spiders skittering around overtook her for a second. She had to stop, pressing her palm flat against her midsection. She took a breath, in slow, out slow.
A few of them had volunteered to spend the night at the fairgrounds over the next four days, keeping an eye on the booths. Kate was one of the volunteers, and she had brought a small tent to put up near her horse trailer and the stall Roo would be in.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow was the competition. And even though it didn’t count toward overall scores or earnings of any kind, it felt like a big deal to her. She was competing against Jessica Schulz, Sierra West, Maggie Markham and basically anyone else who was considered a contender in barrel racing, professional or otherwise.
But as she stood there, nerves immobilizing her, she realized that she wasn’t afraid to win anymore. She had been. She’d been afraid that wanting this was somehow disloyal, that wanting to leave was wrong. She’d been afraid to go off and create a life apart from Connor and Eli because they had invested so much of their lives in her.
But they were happy now. They had Sadie and Liss.
And Jack... Well, Jack had told her it was okay to be angry. She had been turning that over ever since. Thinking about all the implications. About the fact that maybe, just maybe, her life, her emotions were separate from theirs.
Such a small sentence, and yet it had echoed through her like a pebble tossed into a canyon.
“There you are. Sierra told me you were around.” She turned around and saw Jack walking toward her. In a tight black T-shirt, a cowboy hat and jeans, the man was lethal.
A part of her had imagined that after such frequent exposure, particularly to his naked body, he would have less impact upon sight. That part of her had been very, very wrong. The T-shirt enhanced his muscles, reminded her of how strong he was, how it felt to be held in his arms. The jeans, hugging very relevant parts of him, reminded her of secrets about him that she knew intimately. His hat and the dark stubble on his jaw added to the outlaw fantasy. That was just for fun.
“Yes, I am standing here and processing nervous excitement.”
“Oh yeah?” He rubbed his hand along his chin, the sound of his whiskers scraping against his skin resonating inside of her. “What are you nervous about?”
“I’ve never competed in a venue quite this spectacular. This is reserved for the pros.”
“Reserved for you.”
“Not quite.”
“After this. You’re going to turn pro after this.”
She lifted her shoulder. “Maybe.”
“If it’s money, Katie, let me help.” His blue gaze was so earnest she couldn’t be offended by the offer. Especially since she knew he would make it whether they were sleeping together or not. Because Jack took care of her. He always had.
Whatever his track record with past relationships, Jack Monaghan had been faithful to her for about twenty years.
“I have the money.”
“Then we won’t argue about it. I did find something out you might be happy to hear.”
She hopped in place, stirring up some of the fine gray dust that surrounded the gravel on the ground. “Tell me.”
“Today’s event is sold out to capacity. With the rental fee waived for the day, that means we’ve raised well above what we projected we might. Enough to make a sizable donation to local battered women’s shelters and Alison’s bakery, specifically to establish a training program for work experience.”
Kate close the distance between Jack and herself and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her body close to his. He hesitated for a moment, then pressed his hand to her lower back, squeezing her gently. She was tempted to kiss him, but she knew that with so many people hanging around, it was a chance she couldn’t take.
The realization made her chest ache, which was strange, because keeping it a secret hadn’t felt like a problem before. She’d been fine with the fact that it was just between them. Perfectly happy to keep it a secret because it was never going to progress beyond where it was now.
So why did it feel as though it already had? Something had changed. Something in her, something in him. She didn’t know what it meant. She didn’t want to.
She pulled away from him. “I volunteered to spend the night tonight. Here, I mean. We won’t have much time to be together this weekend.”
They were still stealing moments in the afternoon when they could. Once, she had left much earlier than necessary for work and ambushed him on his way out the door to do chores. But in the interest of maintaining secrecy, neither of them had thought it would be a great idea to park at each other’s places overnight. Sure, they could have circumvented that, but a lot of cloak-and-dagger would’ve had to be involved. And that was a lot of work to go to simply to spend the night together, when that was obviously taking a step deeper into the relationship than either of them were supposed to want.
“That’s handy, because I volunteered to spend the night, too. But I didn’t bring a tent,” he said, his blue eyes intense.
“Well, if somebody asks where your tent is pitched, what are you going to tell them?”
“That when you’re around, my tent is pitched in my pants?”
She snorted out a laugh, reluctantly amused. “Except no, you can’t say that ever.”
“Right. Because romantic declarations are off the table.”
“That was not a romantic declaration.”
“It’s the best I’ve got.”
She shoved him, a thrill rushing through her because she got to touch him again. He caught hold of her wrists, holding her steady. Another moment that was reminiscent of things they’d shared prior to their relationship becoming more. But now the playfulness was wired with electricity. She liked it.
Though on the heels of the electric shock came the concern that this would always be there. That going back to normal was the real fantasy.
She pushed that thought away, because she didn’t have time to deal with it right now.
“In all seriousness, if anyone asks, I’ll say I’m sleeping in my truck. But what I would like to do is sleep with you. Really.”
“It’s a tent.”
“Then you will have to be quiet.”
“Okay, Monaghan, but that means you’re going to have to lower your game.”
“On second thought, if anyone asks, in the morning we’ll just say it was coyotes.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I do not sound like a coyote.”
“No. You sound like a badger-cat. But in fairness, most people won’t be familiar with the call of the badger-cat.” He reached toward her and pulled on her braid, the gesture entirely welcome now rather than irritating. She wondered if it had never really been irritating. “Don’t be nervous. You’re going to be amazing.”
“Thank you.”
“Just ‘thank you’? Not ‘thank you, asshole’? Or ‘thanks, I couldn’t have done it’ without me?”
“No. Just thank you.” She looked down below his belt buckle pointedly. “Now, are you just going to stand there pitching a tent, or are you going to help me with mine?”
* * *
“OKAY, I HAVE made the rounds. Thanks to no help from you,” Kate said, climbing inside the tent and zipping it up tight before kneeling down next to where Jack was reclining.
“I’m being discreet.”
“Oh, is that what you call it?” She pushed at his shoulder. “You sort of planned this thing. You might want to make a show of helping out.”
He grinned at her, and her heart turned over. “I’m letting others have the glory now. And I’m protecting your reputation, Ms. Garrett. You should be thankful.”
“I can protect my own reputation, thank you.”
He frowned slightly. “All right, then, maybe I’m protecting me. Because people would want to run me out of town on a rail. Whatever the hell that means. Probably with pitchforks and torches.”
She adjusted her position, lying down, resting her head on her hands. “You think so?” Of course, thinking of how Liss had reacted when she had imagined there was something going on between her and Jack, she had a feeling he was closer to the truth than either of them would have liked to believe.
“I have a certain reputati
on. And it’s not unearned. I won’t pretend that I was chaste before we got together.” The way he said that, got together, made her stomach turn over. “I’ve fooled around with a lot of women. And people know that. Like I told you before, there are some things that happened to me that aren’t earned. But I went out of my way to raise hell and now that I would rather be known for something other than that, the town hasn’t exactly changed their perception of me on a dime. Can’t say that I blame them.”
“Maybe not. But if I don’t hold your past against you, I wouldn’t think it was anyone else’s business.”
He reached out and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her up against his body. “One of the many things I like about you. You see through my bullshit. No one else does. No one else even tries.”
“I’ve always seen through your bullshit.” She smiled and leaned in, kissing him.
They just looked at each other for a moment, and then the light in his eyes changed, sharpened. “Are you feeling brave?” he asked, his voice wicked.
“Is that a trick question, Monaghan? I always feel brave.” Such a lie, because her insides were quaking. Had been for some time now. But in spite of her fear, she wouldn’t back down. She never did. Whether that was a handicap or an asset, she wasn’t certain.
“Brave enough to let me have you out here? All those people who know us are just a canvas wall away. Seems a little bit naughty.”
His words sent a shiver through her body. She was a lot of things. But naughty had never been one of them.
“I’m not...opposed to naughty.”
“Good. I like that. But you’re gonna have to try not to scream my name when you come.” His blue eyes were electric, intense. “You’re going to have to be very quiet. Do you think you can do that?”
She should have been appalled by his ego. Instead his words were pure heat, setting fire to her blood, making her insides melt like honey.
“You might have to give me something to bite on to,” she said, not certain where the words came from. She was a different person when she was with Jack. Or maybe she was the same person. But she’d changed. Had found whole new parts of herself, things that she wanted that she’d never known before, things she could say, things she could do that she had never imagined she could.
