by Maisey Yates
She wanted to feel for herself just how different he was in every way. Wanted to feel every inch of his skin, wanted to know if he had chest hair or if he was smooth. She found in that moment she didn’t really care what the answer was, only that she got the answer. Because everything about Jake had been perfect so far, and she knew she wouldn’t be less disappointed with his body once it was bared to her.
She swallowed hard, and told herself that this was the last of her nerves. If she was going to have one night with Jake Caldwell, the hottest guy she had ever known as a teenager or an adult woman, she wasn’t going to waste a moment of it acting like a terrified virgin. She knew the drill. She knew what went where. She’d taken the plunge, and he had said yes. He was kissing her. There was nothing to be nervous about.
“Take your shirt off for me, Jake.”
“Getting demanding, are you?”
“I plan on making quite a few demands, actually. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not a bit.” To prove his word, he gripped his black T-shirt, tugged it up over his head and tossed it onto the floor.
Her heart pumped hard against her breastbone and she had to fight to catch her breath. She had been entirely unprepared for the beauty that was Jake. Yes, no lie, all men’s physiques were not created equal. She really hated to do a comparison between Jake and her ex, if only because she hated to think of her ex in this moment. But it was impossible seeing as it was the only other male body she’d been this close to.
Where Allen had been pale, and a bit freckly with ribs instead of abs, Jake was tan and beautifully muscled. He had, to answer her earlier question, a fascinating smattering of dark hair over said muscles. It made her mouth go dry, made her fingers itch to touch.
And so she would. Because tonight wasn’t about restraint. It wasn’t about sparing herself from embarrassment, or making anyone proud. It was about pleasing herself. And touching Jake would please her in more ways than she could count.
She put her hand flat on his chest, her breath hissing through her teeth as she did.
“See something you like?” he asked.
“Oh, I see so much that I like.” She let her fingertips trail over his muscles, relishing the combination of rough, hot and hard. “I used to think about this.”
“Did you?”
“Well, kind of. I mean, it’s not like I knew very much about this sort of thing back in high school.”
“I think I knew too much about it.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.”
“Oh, right,” he said, grabbing her wrist and tugging away from his chest. “Because I’m such a bad boy.”
“Because you’re hot. Unlike me, I’m sure you had a lot of dates.”
“Not dates exactly.”
She had a feeling the subtext was that he hooked up. If she’d known that back then it would’ve made him even more impossibly dangerous. It probably would’ve made her even more attracted to him. Because teenage girl logic. Actually, her adult woman logic, too. Maybe something in her had just snapped. Too much good, too much people pleasing. His entire life was her own personal porn.
It was forbidden, something she would never do. And that was what made his life philosophy so appealing. Human nature. To want what you couldn’t have. To be enticed by things you shouldn’t be.
“Well, I didn’t date, either. Though I mean that in a much less roguish and charming way than you did.”
“I’m not sure I was all that charming.”
“I beg to differ.” She stretched up on her tiptoes, and pressed her lips to his again. She didn’t want to talk anymore. She didn’t want to do anything but kiss him. Okay, that was a lie. She wanted to do a whole lot more than kiss him. “You charmed me,” she said, her lips against his.
“I don’t think this is charming. I think this is seduction.”
“Either way. Works for me.”
She put her hands on his biceps, the utter solidness of him shocking. Without thinking, she patted one of his arms. She felt him smile against her mouth. “What are you doing?”
“I’ve never felt muscles quite like this before. I like it.” Her face heated. “Sorry, I don’t think I’m very good at this.”
“You are very good at this. I don’t think my ego—or my arm—has ever been stroked so thoroughly.”
“I’m not very experienced.”
“That probably shouldn’t turn me on. But it does.”
“Well, at this point I don’t really want anything to turn you off.”
“No chance of that, baby.”
He slid his hands down to her hips and around her backside, a bolt of heat spearing her straight to the stomach as his touch moved lower, as he squeezed her gently. An inelegant groan escaped her lips, and she didn’t even care. How could she care? Nothing was more important than what she felt right now. Not pride, not ladylike noises.
It suddenly occurred to Cassie that he was doing all of the exploration. And that she was wasting an opportunity. She moved her hands to his back, fingertips tracing a path along the line of his spine, and down to the curve just above the waistline of his pants. She decided not to hesitate, and simply followed her instincts. She pushed her hand just beneath the denim, bare skin making contact with bare skin. She felt him jolt, felt an immense amount of satisfaction as he did.
That she could have such a strong effect on a guy like him was fuel enough for her own ego. Which admittedly at this point was a little bit bruised. Years of indifference would do that. Years of feeling the disconnect between yourself and the person with whom you were supposed to be the most intimate.
It hit her then how little she felt like she had. She hadn’t truly had a claim on her husband. Hadn’t owned the house. She didn’t own the apartment she was in now. But right now, with Jake reacting to her touch the way he was, it felt very much like having something of her own. It felt very much like ownership. And even if it was only temporary, it made her feel anchored in a way she hadn’t in years.
He gripped the hem of her T-shirt and tugged it up over her head, leaving her standing there in her plain black bra, the air suddenly feeling slightly cold against her skin.
He cursed, short and sharp and yet more satisfaction bloomed in her stomach. He wanted her. He wanted this.
She made him cuss. That was...immensely satisfying.
“All of it.” That was all he managed to get out, the desperation evident in those words fueling her fire even more.
Without pausing to think she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, throwing it on to the floor before shoving her yoga pants and underwear down, too, leaving her completely naked in front of Jake.
No time for nerves now.
She pressed her body back up against his, luxuriating in the feel of her bare breasts against his chest. His chest hair was rough against her nipples, the contact sending slow waves of pleasure through her, her internal muscles contracting in time with the throbbing of her pulse.
“Jake,” she said, barely able to force the words through her constricted throat. “I want to see you.”
He released his hold on her and took a step back, his hands going to the snap on his jeans. And she watched, her attention completely rapt as he pulled the zipper down, then pushed his pants and black boxer briefs down his lean hips.
Cassie’s eyes went wide, and she knew she was absolutely telegraphing her thoughts straight to him. But she didn’t care. This was for her, after all. That meant she wasn’t obligated to pretend to be more experienced than she was. Wasn’t obligated to pretend to be blasé as she was looking at the most beautiful man she could’ve ever dreamed up.
He was incredible, his thick erection enticing in a way she’d never imagined something like that would be. Sure, she knew women giggled about big penises, and size mattering and all of that
. But sort of like big boobs, she’d never figured it was something that might really matter.
She was changing her stance on the subject.
Of course it wasn’t only his blatantly male member that had her dying to touch him. It was everything. Muscles, tattoos, chest hair, even his thighs. She had never given a whole lot of thought to a man’s thighs before. But Jake’s were worth thinking about.
“Are you just going to stand there staring all day? Or are you going to touch me?” he asked, his voice rough.
“Oh, I’m going to touch you.”
She closed the scant distance between them, placing her hand on his chest, feeling his heart raging beneath the surface of his skin. She took an extreme amount of satisfaction in that. In the fact that she had affected him so strongly. The fact that all of this seemed to matter to him, almost as much as it mattered to her.
She moved her hand down to his arousal, wrapping her hand around him and squeezing gently, watching as his mouth tensed and his eyes closed, as he let his head tilt back. She watched the tendons in his neck tighten. She could see his pulse pounding, hard and fast at the base of his throat, and she leaned in and flicked her tongue across his skin, tasting his need. The desperation that matched her own.
She flattened her hand over his length, exploring the shape of him, testing his hardness.
“Be careful,” he said, his voice a growl, “or this is going to be over a lot quicker than I want it to be.”
She moved her hand away from him. “Well, we don’t want that.” Sure, a small part of her would take pleasure in the fact that she had challenged his control like that. But most of her would just be disappointed to have things end prematurely.
She hadn’t had sex in three years, and she was not missing out on it now.
Speaking of that...
“Oh, shit!”
Jake’s eyes widened. “Well, that’s not something I’m used to hearing at this stage.”
“Condoms.” She was starting to feel slightly panicked. No, there was no need to panic. There was a store within jogging distance. And her pride honestly had no place in this. She would do a condom dash. She would.
“I’ve got one,” he said.
“Only one?”
“You sound disappointed.”
“I haven’t had sex in a very long time.”
He chuckled and tugged her against him, kissing her deeply. When they parted they were breathing hard. “Why don’t you wait and see if you enjoy this time? Then we’ll worry about getting more.”
“Oh, I am not concerned. About the enjoyment.”
“Good.”
He leaned in and kissed her neck, then moved lower, kissing the curve of her breast before sliding his tongue down to her nipple, tracing a circle around it. Her hands flew to his head, gripping his hair, holding him to her as he continued to lavish attention on her body.
He parted his lips and sucked her deep into his mouth, an answering pull of sensation echoing in her midsection. He lifted his hand and cupped her other breast, teasing her with his thumb before pinching her lightly. She tightened her hold on him, lowered her head and rested her cheek against his hair, hanging on tight as he continued his sensual assault. He had her shaking, whimpering, begging... If she hadn’t been so lost, she might have been embarrassed.
He raised his head, a slash of darkened color bleeding over his cheekbones, betraying just how affected he was by all of this.
Then his lips crashed down on hers, the kiss deep and hard, his tongue sliding against hers. He gripped her thighs and tugged her up, wrapping her legs around his waist, bringing the damp center of her into contact with his length. She arched against him, trying to ease the ache that was building there. But it wasn’t enough.
“Which way to the bedroom?” he asked, his words labored.
“No time. Couch.”
He carried them over to the couch and set her down, settling between her legs and kissing her as he slid his hardness through her slick folds. His eyes locked with her own, and a whimper escaped her. He lowered his head and kissed her, taking her lower lip between his teeth and biting her gently, the sensation combined with the motion of his hips sending a white-hot flash of pleasure through her.
“Now. Please now.”
“Not yet.” He pressed a kiss between her breasts, then one to her stomach. It took her a moment to realize what he intended to do, but when she did everything in her seized up. She had never done this before. But she had fantasized about it.
Oh, had she ever.
He kissed her inner thigh, his wicked blue eyes never leaving hers as he moved closer to the center of her need. He flicked the tip of his tongue over her clitoris, and her hips bucked off the couch. He took that opportunity to reach around and grab her by the hips, pulling her hard against his mouth and deepening the intimate kiss.
“Oh! Jake!” She threaded her fingers back through his hair, not caring if she hurt him. Which seemed a little barbaric, perhaps. But the pleasure he was giving her verged on pain, and somewhere in her muddled mind she thought maybe if she gave him pain, it would verge on pleasure.
He growled roughly as he continued his exploration of her, adding his fingers, sliding two deep inside her, working them in time with his magic tongue.
She wasn’t going to last. And if she couldn’t, she knew she wouldn’t come again. For a moment she felt slightly wistful about the fact that it was about to be over for her. But only for a moment. Because the spiral of need in her was so tight that she knew it had to break. Otherwise she would.
He used his fingers to stroke her in time with the motion of his tongue, and sent her over. Hurtling down into an abyss. For a moment everything was blank, weightless, all of her senses sacrificed on the altar of the pleasure that was coursing through her. There was nothing but this, nothing but what he made her feel.
It was incredible. Beyond a simple climax and into something entirely different. Something that consumed her in a way nothing else ever had. Right now there was no worrying about whether she pleased anyone.
Because she herself was so wholly pleased, she simply couldn’t care.
He abandoned her for a moment, leaving her lying spent on the couch, electricity buzzing over her skin. He returned a moment later, and she realized he had gotten the condom and had already seen to protecting them both. He joined her again, kissing her deeply, his hands going back between her thighs, stroking her. She was almost too sensitive, but she didn’t want to tell him to stop, either.
Finally, he positioned himself at her entrance, the blunt head of his arousal testing her before he slid in the rest of the way.
She gasped as he filled her, stretching her. It wasn’t painful. Not at all. A feeling of complete satisfaction overwhelmed her. He fit so perfectly. He felt so amazing she could think of nothing else.
And she didn’t want to.
She cupped his face and kissed him and he began to move inside of her, each measured thrust pushing her back toward the edge. An edge she hadn’t thought she would reach again. Not so soon. But this was nothing she’d experienced before. This wasn’t just sex, this was Jake. And she should’ve realized by now what that meant. That none of the previous rules applied. That none of her previous experiences meant anything.
His control started to fray, his movements becoming harder, faster, amping up her excitement to an impossible degree. Each thrust brought his pelvis back against her clitoris, pushing her closer, until she was arching up to meet him, desperate for release.
A second wave broke over her just as he stiffened above her, a hoarse groan on his lips as he shuddered out his own release.
As they lay there on the couch, in the quiet of her apartment, no sound beyond their shattered breathing, three things kept going through her mind.
She’d just made love
with Jake Caldwell. He had in fact managed to make her come twice. And she would never be the same again.
CHAPTER SEVEN
OKAY, SO HE was kind of a dick for leaving in the middle of the night. But he had to be out at the ranch early the next day. Or rather, he supposed he didn’t have to be, but it made for a nice excuse in his head. And he really needed a nice excuse.
That much was true.
Because without the excuse, he had to face the truth that he needed to leave because he was feeling too many things. Too many damn feelings. He didn’t do feelings. He knew madness lay on the other side of his feelings. He wasn’t being overdramatic, it was just the truth.
He scrubbed his hand over his hair and grabbed his leather jacket off the hook by the door, pausing and looking at it, thinking about Cassie wearing it yesterday. How it had swallowed her tiny frame and made her look even more petite than she was. And he was done thinking of that. There was only madness on the other side of that, too. He would be redirecting his thoughts now.
He put the jacket on and continued out the door, walking down the stairs and stopping when he reached the landing and saw Cassie standing there at the bottom of her stairwell, looking slightly lost.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“I was about to ask you the same question. Since I was looking for you.”
“You were looking for me?”
Cassie shifted, her expression adorably sheepish. And when the hell had he ever thought of a woman as adorable? “Well, I’ve never exactly woken up alone after having sex with a guy.”
“Right, well, I didn’t have...anything, and we didn’t have any more condoms so...” Right, way to be an asshole, Caldwell. Tell her you couldn’t have more sex with her so you left.
The thing was, he’d needed space. Because while they’d been getting it on he’d been fine. But as he’d been laying there holding her in his arms he kept replaying what she’d said to him over and over again.
