“You moved out of his house and never told me why. You haven’t mentioned going to see him once since I returned. Something is up.”
I slipped out of his lap and leaned against the open bedroom door. “We had a huge fight.”
“About?”
“You. He didn’t think that moving in with you when you returned was a good idea.”
Garrett made an annoyed sound. “Why would he say that?”
“He said that being captured and imprisoned while you were deployed was going to change you. You were going to be different.”
“He’s right, Cami. I am different. I did change.”
I shook my head. “I realize that. I didn’t expect you to return and be the same. He made it seem like you were going to come home and hurt me.”
“I did hurt you, Cami. I had my bare hands wrapped around your throat,” he choked out, holding his hands out in front of him. That moment was replaying his mind. I covered his hands with my own and held them firmly.
“You didn’t hurt me, Garrett,” I emphasized.
“I’ve had buddies return home to their wives and girlfriends completely different men. I’ve seen that change, and I always thought that would never be me. But I’m so scared I’m turning in to one of those monsters. I thought that’s why you were avoiding me.”
“Garrett, you’re not a monster. Please trust me to help you through the dark moments.” I thought about Palmer’s mocking tone when he asked if I thought I could save Garrett from whatever may continue to haunt him. “Palmer said …”
“What Cami? What else did he say?”
I shook my head. “It was nothing. He was just angry with me because he thought I’d leave you for him. He thought that helping me through those few months would somehow change my mind about being with him.”
Garrett stood, angrier now rather than annoyed and started to undress. He grabbed the olive drab T-shirt that he wore daily with one hand and yanked it over his head. I remained seated on the floor with my back pressed to the door in awe. His body was stunning; his hard, lean muscles rippled as he moved to his duffle and pulled out a plain black T-shirt. There was a brief flash of a bandage on his ribcage, which propelled me to my feet.
“What happened?” I asked, reaching out a hand to touch him before his shirt could cover the bandage.
“Nothing. Just a little fresh ink.”
My fingers hovered over the spot, and my lips quirked up in a half-smile. “Show me,” I asked quietly.
Garrett carefully peeled the edges of the tape covering the small square of plastic wrap before pulling it away. My breath caught the moment I first saw the tiny, perfect jasmine blossom inked among the memorials and tributes. And then the words beneath it, so small and perfect, “To you, I surrender my heart.”
“Oh, Garrett,” I breathed out. He stepped toward me as my hand fell away from his T-shirt. One large hand wrapped lightly around my neck, and he bent down to press his forehead against mine.
“You mean everything to me, Cami,” he murmured before brushing his lips softly against mine. “Thank you.”
“I was so scared to tell you,” I whispered.
“Don’t ever be afraid to tell me the truth, Cami. Good or bad, I want to know what is in your heart and soul. I want every inch of you, inside and out.”
Chapter Eleven
Garrett
The next morning as I left for base, I leaned against the wall just outside the apartment as soon as I shut the door. Never in a million years would I have thought Cami capable of overdosing. My heart ached, and I absently rubbed the spot on my chest over where it beat. Fuck. I didn’t believe she was trying to hurt herself, but just hearing the word overdose had leveled me. But I knew the pain of being haunted by tricks the mind can play; every day I had been imprisoned, she’d been there with me. Her smile, her scent, her familiar words. Those moments when my mind conjured her up were my only comfort.
I pushed off against the wall and headed toward the parking lot. Palmer had broken his promise to me, and while I expected to feel disappointment, I only felt anger. He’d let Cami down, taking advantage of her while she was vulnerable and tried to manipulate her.
As I got into Cami’s car, my phone rang. Oliver’s name and phone number flashed across the screen. Shit. I hadn’t called him when I landed at Sea-Tac because I was singularly focused on Cami. I accepted the call and greeted my brother. “Hey, Ollie. What’s up?”
“Just checking in to see if you were back in the States.”
“Yeah, I am. I’m sorry I didn’t call you.”
“I understand, Garrett,” he said with a chuckle. “I wanted to call you and let you know Uncle Charlie is putting his property on the market.”
“You’re kidding me.” Charlie Benson was my mother’s brother, and his property was an amazing piece of land in Healdsburg that my father had coveted for years. He purposely sucked up to him every year, even after my mother’s death, inviting him and my aunt Miranda to events and parties, providing them with limited releases and reserve blends for nothing. All because he wanted to own their eight measly acres of land. “How much are they asking?”
“Three million.”
I whistled low. “Damn, Ollie. I can’t afford a three-million-dollar property.”
“If you asked Dad, then I’m sure he would help you out.”
“And also help himself to the grapes that were produced in exchange.” The property wasn’t too far from the Hammond Winery estate, but did I want to live that close to my dad? I thought about the two properties Cami showed me. They were small and cozy and absolutely perfect. Especially the red house she’d found. It was situated right along the Russian River on a quiet street. That was more my style.
“You don’t have to buy it, Garrett. I just thought I’d let you know.”
“Thanks, Ollie. I appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome. When are you coming back?”
“I’ve got ninety more days, bro. Ninety days and then I’m packing up Cami and everything she owns and we’re leaving Washington.”
“I can’t wait.”
Our conversation ended, and it gave me something to reflect on while I drove to the base. Cami and I had never discussed where we would live, so when she’d showed me those two listings in Healdsburg, I was surprised but relieved that she’d made the decision for us. Now I had something of my own to present to her – buying a three-million-dollar piece of property all for the sake of eight acres of land that could be the start of realizing one more dream.
All day, I couldn’t stop thinking about my conversation with Cami about her falling out with Palmer. He’d told Cami vicious things about me, all in an attempt to keep her for himself. He wanted her to think I would return a monster and not a man. Our friendship had blinded me to his arrogance and selfishness. We’d served side by side for so long, and I’d put my faith and trust in him every day when we had been deployed together. Now I’d started to wonder if he would have my back when the shit hit the fan. It seemed doubtful.
When my day ended, instead of heading home to Cami, I navigated my way to Palmer’s house, ready to confront him. I stalked toward the front door and banged on it, hoping that his parents weren’t home. Tim and Lucinda Grayson were good people; it wasn’t their fault that Palmer had turned into a jealous bastard.
My patience was thin, so I banged again. “Palmer, open the goddamn door,” I bellowed. I looked around and saw the sleek black sedan Palmer drove. “I know you’re home.”
I heard the clicking of locks, and the door swung open. Palmer stood stone faced in the doorway. “I heard you were back,” he said.
I nodded. “Yes. And in ninety days, I’ll be gone.”
“Are you taking Cami with you?”
“Of course, I am. Which is why I’m here. She told me some things that made me very angry.”
“Like what?”
“Did you tell her that I was going to come back and abuse her?”
Palmer
scoffed. “I would never say anything like that, Garrett. But I did try to prepare her. She needed to know that what you went through was going to change you.”
“It did change me, Palmer, but it didn’t turn me into a monster. I spent the last six months of my deployment getting myself right mentally. I confronted all those demons and ghosts because I didn’t want to bring them home with me. It was hard fucking work.”
“Fine. I’m sorry. Are we done?”
“No, Palmer, we’re not done.”
“Jesus, Garrett. Did you turn into a self-righteous asshole over there instead?”
My fists flexed, but I remained in control. “I asked you to be there for her, Palmer. To be her best friend and to act like it.”
“And I did. I held her hand every single night while she watched her father die. I held her in my arms the night he died. I made sure she ate and showered and survived.”
“You don’t have to rub it in my face, Palmer. I wanted to be there. You know I wanted to be there.”
Palmer took a step forward, forcing me to back up. Slowly, he made his way toward me with a sneer on his lips. “I was the one who found her unconscious. I was the one who called 911 and stayed with her in the ambulance.”
He was pushing all my buttons. One more step, one more word, and my fists were going to fly. He was rubbing it all in my face. When it came to my relationship with Cami, my only regret was not being there when her father died. It was a fresh wound, and Palmer had sliced it wide open. “I watched her turn into a zombie because of you.”
“Stop it, Palmer.”
“Can’t handle reality, Garrett? Maybe you didn’t exorcise those demons like you thought.”
“I wanted to be there! You know I wanted to be there,” I roared.
“But you weren’t. And this is how you repay me? If it wasn’t for me, Cami would be dead.”
Without thinking, my fist flew and connected with his jaw. “Shut the fuck up! Who’s the self-righteous asshole now, Palmer?”
Palmer rubbed his jaw and smirked. “Better me than Cami, right?”
The blow I landed to his middle was calculated. He deserved that one. “Palmer, why don’t you just admit you’re still in love with Cami?”
He winced with pain and clutched his abdomen as he stood. “You’re right. I am still in love with her.”
“Then why would you try to hurt her?”
“Because you don’t deserve her.” I landed another direct hit, this time connecting with Palmer’s nose. Blood started to pour down his face.
“I deserve her a hell of a lot more than you do, asshole.” I walked away and got into the car, leaving Palmer clutching his nose, which was likely broken.
Violence was not something I resorted to often, and I knew the moment I stepped inside the apartment, Cami would start asking questions when she saw my split knuckles. Palmer was supposed to be more than a friend; he was supposed to be a brother. Ten years of friendship wasted because he’d coveted what was now mine; Cami chose me. Now I understood why avarice was one of the seven deadly sins.
As I pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex, I looked up to the third floor. Cami was up there, waiting for me. Would she be disappointed or angry? I got out of the car and made my way slowly up to the apartment. I held the key out in my hand before sticking it into the deadbolt and unlocking the door. Maybe I was a little disappointed in myself.
Cami sat on the small couch in her living room with her laptop perched on her lap. Her wild curls had been tamed into a messy bun on top of her head, and she wore what seemed to be her normal summer uniform: a skimpy tank top and shorts.
“Hey,” she said, noticing me and shooting me a smile that made her entire face glow.
“Hi,” I replied. She took in my grim expression, and her smile faded. She patted the spot next to her, and I shuffled over. I sat down with a heavy sigh and stretched out my legs. I grabbed her hand and held it tightly in mine, brushing my thumb over her knuckles.
“Tell me what happened,” she demanded softly. She covered our clasped hands with her free one, and I followed suit, showing her my split knuckles.
“Palmer and I don’t see eye to eye anymore. We served together for ten years, and he was like one of my brothers, but the man I spoke with tonight … he was not the man who fought beside me.”
Cami nodded. “You’re right. He has changed. I’m sorry your friendship is over.”
“Not as sorry as I am that you lost one of your best friends.”
She leaned her head on my shoulder, and said, “I think I lost him the moment I laid eyes on you.”
Cami was right. The three of us had been destined for this moment since the second Cami and I met. There was no other possible outcome. Perhaps one day we’d all manage to find our way back to friendship, but for now, it was best we went our separate ways.
“We’re closing on Dad’s house tomorrow,” Cami said quietly.
I moved so I could wrap my arm around her and pull her in tight. “Do you want me there with you?” I asked.
“Yes,” she breathed out.
“Show me those listings again,” I told her as a distraction. Surprisingly, she pulled the two folded sheets of paper out from beside her and held them out to me. I took them and read through each one carefully. The two properties were similar in style and square footage and were located near Fitch Mountain. I held out the one I liked the best, a secluded red house close to the Russian River. “This is my choice.”
Cami grinned. “That’s my favorite too.”
“What about something entirely different?” My conversation with Oliver was still fresh in my mind. My uncle’s property would be ideal if I could manage to get it without the help of my father.
“What do you mean?”
I told her about the property and how coveted it was by everyone, not just my father. “My uncle is selling his property. The chardonnay produced on his land is ridiculous,” I gushed. “It’s unlike any I’ve had before. Maybe it’s because of how close it is to the Russian River or maybe my uncle does something magical during the aging process.”
“Then, that’s our home,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Cami, I have money saved. More than enough to put a decent down payment on either of these houses,” I said, holding up the listings. “But my uncle is asking three million dollars for his eight acres.”
“Is your uncle’s property your dream, Garrett?”
I gathered her into my arms and kissed her bare shoulder. “You’re my dream, Cami. Everything else is secondary.”
“Last summer, you told me you wanted to run a sustainable vineyard. Can you do that with his property?”
“Cami, it’s three million dollars.”
“I heard you the first five times you said it.”
She was so tenacious, like a dog with a new bone. “Yes, I want to run a sustainable vineyard. And yes, I think it can be done with my uncle’s property.”
“Then let me help you,” she insisted. She started to squirm in my arms until I released her, then she picked up her laptop from the floor where she’d set it down earlier. She opened a browser and logged into her online banking system. Turning the screen toward me, she said proudly, “This is how much I have saved from my trust fund and selling my condo.”
My eyes went wide. Holy shit. The sum was more than I expected, and I couldn’t believe she was offering me even a fraction of it. “Cami, I can’t take your money.”
“Okay, then I guess you’re going to ask your dad?”
She was putting me between a rock and a hard place. “Can’t we just buy the little red house?” I begged.
“No,” she insisted. “It’s time we start living our lives and making our dreams come true.”
Chapter Twelve
Cami
“What about opening your own bakery?” That was the first question Garrett asked me the next morning. I was barely awake, and his words didn’t register right away.
“What?” I asked.
“Don’t you want to be able to own your own bakery one day? Instead of working for other people?”
There were times over the past few years when I thought about opening my own shop, but having a place of my own hardly crossed my mind in the past few months. The only dream that lived in my heart was having a life with Garrett.
“No,” I stated matter-of-factly. “Owning a bakery isn’t important.”
Garrett caged me against the countertop with his body as I started to brew a fresh pot of coffee. He ran his nose along the column of my neck before nipping lightly at my earlobe. “What did I do to deserve you, Camille Sorenson?”
“You survived,” I whispered. In the back of my mind, I was constantly thinking about Garrett’s capture. I wanted to know every detail. Where was he held? How was he treated? Was he alone?
“What?” he replied softly.
“Garrett,” I began hesitantly. “I want to know what happened to you when you were taken by the group of rebels.”
He stepped away from me, taking his warmth and comforting scent with him. Garrett leaned against the counter across from me and folded his arms across his chest, closing himself off. But I refused to let him. My hands reached out for his forearms and carefully pried them apart before I slipped my arms around his waist.
Sighing heavily, Garrett said, “Are you sure you want to hear this?”
“It’s the one part of yourself you’re still hiding from me,” I replied gently.
The coffee finished brewing, and Garrett pulled away to fix himself a fresh cup. He liked it black with only a spoonful of sugar. These were the little things I was starting to notice about him now that we lived together. He chewed on his bottom lip, working it back and forth, which he did when he was searching for the right words.
“I thought about you every day. It was like my mind had inadvertently memorized all of your emails, so when I closed my eyes, I could recall every one perfectly.” He took a sip of his coffee and set it down on the counter. Then he closed the short distance between us and wrapped his hands around my waist. “I replayed every moment we shared before I deployed because I was alone. There was no one else in the room with me.”
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