“Into what?” said Happy.
“Is this you, Kim?” said Melody. “Did you crack open the world?”
“No,” said Kim.
“Is this the trap?” JC said carefully. “The trap The Flesh Undying has set for you, and us?”
“Yes,” said Kim. “But for once, I think The Flesh Undying has outsmarted itself. It’s so used to thinking of itself as the most intelligent and superior creature on this planet that it has never stopped to consider that wasn’t always the case. There’s something else, waiting for us down there, that we can use against our enemy.”
“Will somebody please tell me,” Happy said doggedly. “What the hell is London Undertowen?”
Melody sighed loudly. “Am I really the only one on this team who takes the time to read the regular reports the Carnacki Institute circulates among its field agents every month?”
“Yes,” said Happy. “You sweet little girl swot, you.”
“We get regular reports?” said JC. “Really?”
“Information is ammunition in our line of work,” Melody said primly.
“That would look good on a T-shirt,” said Happy.
“Never wear them,” JC said firmly.
“We noticed,” said Happy, crushingly. “Maybe we could stencil it on the back of your jacket.”
Kim looked at Melody. “They haven’t improved while I was gone, have they?”
“No,” said Melody. “Men. . Evolution; I’m looking forward to it. Hey! Both of you shut the hell up and listen! Thank you. . London Undertowen is the city beneath the city. Or perhaps even the world beneath the world. Catacombs, set deep in the earth, that the Romans and everyone else built London over.”
Happy glared down the long series of stone steps, concentrating hard, as though he thought he could make them look like something else if he tried hard enough.
“Don’t,” said Kim. “Steps are good. Learn to love the steps. Because all the alternatives are worse.”
“So. . what’s down there, exactly, in this Undertowen?” said Happy.
“I’ve been trying to get a straight answer on that for months,” said Melody. “I’m pretty sure someone somewhere in the Institute knows, but I’ve never been able to hack the security around those files. You’d have to turn up at the Carnacki Institute’s Secret Libraries, in person, and read what they’ve got there. Except mere field agents like us don’t have a high enough security clearance to get in there.”
“Ooh! Ooh!” said Happy, bouncing cheerfully up and down on the spot. “I’ve always wanted to get inside the Secret Libraries!”
“The Boss did promise us access,” JC said slowly. “But she never got around to updating our security rating. . Which may or may not have been an oversight on her part. . Kim; do you know what’s down there, in the Undertowen?”
“Something very old,” said Kim. “Something The Flesh Undying thinks it can use against us. That’s one of the reasons why I stayed away so long, guys. Because I didn’t want to put you in even more danger. But I finally saw a chance to come home again, and I took it. I have a plan; so let’s hope I’m as smart as I think I am. If you want to keep me, JC, you’re going to have to go down there into the dark and fight for me.”
JC grinned. “Isn’t that how we first met?”
They smiled at each other.
“I can’t help noticing,” Happy said loudly, “that I still haven’t had an answer to my question. What the hell is down there?”
“Tell me,” said Kim. “What do you guys know about Druids?”
“Oh hell,” said Happy. “The answer hasn’t even started yet, and already I hate it. You mean the real Druids, the original Druids? Scary, and I mean seriously scary. Not like the current bunch, the Stonehenge botherers. Big, hairy, refried-hippie, tree-hugger types. The original pre-Roman bunch were seriously nasty, bad-arse, mystic warriors. Heavily into murder magic, human sacrifice, burning their enemies en masse in giant Wicker Men. .”
“Good film, that,” said JC.
“Bloody good film,” said Happy. “Which only goes to show we shouldn’t mess around with anything that involves real Druids. We’re only supposed to deal with ghosts. I think we should back away, very carefully and at speed, and turn this whole thing over to someone with more experience in this field. Like the Droods.”
“You’ve got to be kidding,” said Melody. “They’re scarier than the Druids ever were.”
“True,” said Happy.
“You deal with the dead,” said Kim. “And what’s waiting for us down there very definitely qualifies.”
“Only back ten minutes, and already I’m getting into situations that give me twitches in the backstairs department,” muttered Happy.
“Tell me more about Druids,” said JC. “I never was very big on ancient history.”
“The old-time Druids dealt with wood and water, fire and earth,” said Melody, patiently. “And like the Nature they worshipped, the Druids were red in tooth and claw. So seriously hard-core they actually shocked the hardened Roman Legionnaires. Three times the Roman armies tried to invade Britain, and twice the Druids drove them back into the sea, till the waters ran red with blood up and down the coast. The Romans only won the third time, in 55 B.C., because they were able to sneak in agents and get the various British tribes fighting each other. The Romans practically invented Divide and Conquer. But, you have to remember that the Druids had an entirely oral tradition of knowledge, with information passed only from mouth to mouth. Nothing was ever written down, to preserve their ancient mysteries. So the only written records we have of the Druids at that time are Roman writings. People with no interest in presenting the Druids in a good light.”
“So they were actually good guys?” said Happy.
“No,” said Kim. “Not by any definition we could be comfortable with.”
“Druids worshipped the triple goddess,” said Melody. “Macha, Badb, Neman. More gorecrows than gods, they thrived on slaughter and butchery. And then, there was Lud. .”
“And then there was Lud,” said Kim. “A very ancient Being, he predated the Druids who worshipped him. Long dead now, of course.”
“Good,” said Happy. “Anyone the Druids worshipped is not someone you’d want to meet in a dark catacomb. You are sure he’s dead?”
“Oh quite definitely,” said Kim. “I’ve seen the body. That’s why we’re going down into the Undertowen-to talk with him.”
They all looked at her.
“Are you saying,” Happy said carefully, “that somewhere down there, is the ghost of an old god?”
“Ghost of an old monster, anyway,” Kim said cheerfully. “Surrounded, of course, by all kinds of other dead things of an equally upsetting and dangerous nature.”
“Including a whole army of dead Druids, perchance?” said Melody.
“Exactly!” said Kim.
“I’m going home,” said Happy. “Right now. Really. Watch me.”
“I thought you wanted to fight for me?” said Kim.
“Well, yes, but,” said Happy.
“And there you have his entire character, in a nutshell,” said Melody.
“Come along, children,” said JC. “Lovely night for a stroll in the Undertowen. We are going down!”
“Of course we are,” said Melody.
And then she broke off, as Happy produced a pill bottle from one of his jacket pockets. He studied the handwritten label carefully, put the bottle away again, and fished out another. He nodded over the label, undid the screw cap, and knocked back two of the pills quickly, swallowing hard. Melody stared at him, openly shocked.
“Happy!” she said finally. “You swore you didn’t need those any more. . You promised me you’d thrown them all away!”
“I lied,” said Happy, meeting her angry gaze unflinchingly. “I do that sometimes. When necessary. To keep the peace.”
“You don’t need pills any more!” Melody said fiercely. “You’ve got me!”
“You make me f
eel safe,” said Happy. “But you can’t make me feel brave. To go down into a place like this takes more of me than I’ve got.”
Melody turned to JC. “Do Something! Say something!”
“He’s a grown man,” said JC. “He can make his own decisions. He knows what he needs better than you or I.”
“Sorry, Melody,” said Happy. “But love can only take me so far. After that, it takes chemical courage to push me over the edge.”
His eyes were already glassy, and his smile was a lot wider than they were used to seeing of late. Melody glared at him coldly.
“We will talk about this later.”
“If there is a later,” said Happy. He went right up to the edge of the great chasm and looked down the long steps into the dark. “Ooh. . You’re right, Kim. They really aren’t steps at all, are they?”
“What are you Seeing down there, Happy, that the rest of us aren’t?” said JC. And if he was as surprised and shocked as Melody at Happy’s return to a chemical crutch, he kept it out of his voice. He had a job to do.
“Let’s just say. . When I say It’s quiet, too quiet, that means something,” said Happy. “In this case. . it means Something’s down there waiting for us. And not in a good way. Let’s go say hello!”
He went clattering quickly down the stone steps, taking them two at a time, and the others had no choice but to hurry down after him.
* * *
The stone steps felt real enough, solid enough, under JC’s feet as he took over the lead from Happy. On the grounds that if you were heading into danger, the one leading the way should have at least some of his survival instincts still working. The small group moved steadily down into the depths, surrounded by a small pool of moon-pale light with no obvious source. JC couldn’t help noticing that none of their feet made any noise at all on the apparently solid stone steps. Without any landmarks, it was hard to get any real sense of descent, or time passing, until the stairway suddenly stopped without warning, and they were Somewhere Else.
The catacombs stretched away before them: ancient stone galleries, with corridors and passageways, endlessly turning and branching. Rough stone arches, all of them full of shadows and darkness. Dusty openings and endless grey avenues led off in every direction. Old stone, without markings or character, constructed to serve a purpose and a function, not decoration. The silence was complete, hanging heavily over everything. JC looked at Melody, who was hanging on to her machine-pistol like a security blanket. She actually jumped slightly when he turned to her.
“Yes! What? I don’t see anything!”
“I was wondering. How big is London Undertowen supposed to be?”
“How big is London?” said Melody. “They say you can find everything that London’s lost down in the Undertowen. Lost people, lost secrets, lost civilisations.”
“Albino alligators!” Happy said brightly, smiling about him beatifically. “Grown from small pets flushed down toilets when they got too big.”
“First, that’s an urban myth,” said Melody. “And second, it’s an entirely American urban myth. Alligators as pets never caught on over here because we are a sane people.”
But Happy had already stopped listening to her. He’d spotted thick mats of blue moss growing over most of a nearby wall. In fact, there were heavy splashes of the stuff all over the place. It looked moist, and springy; and JC thought the moss might even be breathing, rising and falling very slowly. Happy darted forward to study the nearest patch of blue moss, pushing his face right into it.
“I know what this is!” he said loudly. “I’ve read about it, in the kinds of magazines you never find in supermarkets. . Supposedly, whoever eats or smokes this stuff is supposed to receive visions of Heaven and Hell. And a chance to have actual conversations with the inhabitants of both places.”
“Are you intending to try it out?” said Melody, pointedly.
“No,” said Happy, backing away reluctantly. “I have enough problems as it is. Besides, you should never talk to the dead. You can’t trust anything they say. They always have their own agenda.” He stopped and looked back at Kim. “No offence.”
“Dear Happy,” said Kim. “You haven’t changed at all.”
“Is that a good or a bad thing?” Happy said earnestly. And then his head came up suddenly, and he turned his back on the blue moss to stare out into the surrounding gloom. “Heads up, people! Company’s coming!”
JC looked quickly about him. The pale moonlight that fell from nowhere stretched away in all directions but didn’t reveal much.
“What’s coming?” he said. “And from which direction?”
“From everywhere,” said Kim. She was glowing more brightly now, her face eager and intent. “Hold your ground, guys. And don’t do anything to draw their attention.”
Melody pulled Happy over to stand at her side and held her machine-pistol at the ready. JC stood beside Kim, who didn’t even look at him. Someone was coming, or Something; JC could feel it, like a pressure on his skin. Something unnatural, from out of the dark.
They came from every direction at once, emerging from the tall arches or appearing suddenly out of narrow stone corridors, glowing faintly like poisoned candles. Walking in silence, drifting along as though blown by an unfelt wind, staring straight ahead and saying nothing. Walking the low road, the paths of the dead, driven by needs and purposes that only the unliving could understand. Ghosts of dead soldiers, in uniforms from armies across the ages; deserters from every force that ever marched through the streets of London. Ghosts of plague victims, dumped in mass graves and unmarked burial pits. Still huddled together for comfort, even in death. The marks of the plagues that killed them still vivid on their faces, like deadly kisses. Ghosts of small children, worked to death in sweat-shop businesses, or abandoned to die cold and alone, in the streets and back alley-ways where civilised people never went.
All the ghosts London doesn’t want to remember.
And all the Ghost Finders could do was stand very still and watch the dead file past, disappearing back into the dark. The ghosts didn’t even look at them. When the last of them was finally gone, JC turned almost angrily to Kim.
“There must be something we can do to help.”
“You can’t,” said Kim.
“But there were children!” said JC. “There shouldn’t be children in a place like this. I won’t stand for it!”
“London is a city built on the dead,” said Kim. “You know that, JC. You’d need an army of exorcists, working in shifts for years, to wipe London clean of its past. And even then, a lot of those ghosts would almost certainly come back again. Because they’ve nowhere else to go, or because they’re not ready to let go. Ghosts are all about unfinished business, and this many ghosts, together. . They have a spiritual weight, a spectral impact on their surroundings, that is way beyond our understanding. And a purpose beyond our comprehension.”
“But. . there were children,” said JC. “That’s not right. We can’t just leave them down here, in the dark.”
“I love it that you care,” said Kim. “And it’s sweet that you feel the need to Do Something. . but you can’t help those who don’t want to be helped.” She looked briefly at Happy, then stared out into the dark again. “We have to keep moving, JC. There are far more dangerous things in the catacombs than ghosts.”
“Could any of them help us?” said Happy. “With whatever it is we’re here to fight? I need information, and clarification, and possibly a very big stick with nails sticking out of it.”
“This isn’t like you, Happy,” said JC. “It’s an improvement, but it isn’t like you.”
“There is thunder and lightning in my veins,” said Happy. “And a lion growling in my heart. Point me at something, before it wears off.”
* * *
Kim led the way, into the dark heart of the catacombs. The stone passageways radiated out before them, with doors and rounded openings and high stone arches leading off in every direction. They all seemed
extremely real and solid, but JC wasn’t entirely convinced. He trailed his fingertips through the thick dust covering the walls, and rubbed the stuff between his fingertips. More dust rose with every footstep they took though it took its own sweet time about falling back down again. Couldn’t get much more real than dust. . JC peered over his sunglasses, now and again, to check out his surroundings with his altered eyes, but it all looked exactly the same. The catacombs were certainly real enough to contain and guide him and his team.
At least he could hear his footsteps now, even if they didn’t seem to echo, along with Happy’s and Melody’s. Kim made no sound at all as she moved, even when her bare feet did seem to make contact with the floor. And she didn’t leave trails in the dust, like the others. JC kept a careful eye on the trail they left in case they needed to get the hell out in a hurry.
“The air down here smells bad,” said Melody, after a while. “Dry, and sour. .”
“We’re a long way from the surface,” said Kim. “And I hate to think what else here has been breathing this air before us.”
“Oh, gross,” said Happy.
“Wish I still had my scanner,” Melody grumbled. “I’ll bet the carbon-monoxide levels are appalling.”
“Is it only me?” said Happy. “Or can anyone else smell blood?”
“We’re entering the oldest part of the catacombs now,” said Kim. “Built centuries before the Romans even thought of invading Britain.”
“Who by?” said JC.
“Good question!” said Kim. “I’m not sure there’s anyone still alive, or dead, or in between, that could tell you. We’re passing out of history and into legend. Into the place of myths and madness. I can say these are Druid things. Their subterranean galleries. Miles and miles of them. .”
“The Druids were supposed to be all about the Nature,” said Happy. “Why would they bury themselves away down here?”
“To do the things their triple goddess wouldn’t approve of,” said Kim. “And given some of the things they got up to in the open, in the forests. .”
Spirits from Beyond g-4 Page 3
