‘I think he’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met,’ Artie said, softly. ‘Take care of yourself, Signor Ferrantelli. I hope to meet you in person soon.’
The most amazing man she’d ever met? Luca mentally laughed off the compliment. Artie had met so few men it wasn’t hard to impress her. What he wanted to do was help her get over her phobia. Not just because he wanted her to meet his grandfather but because he knew it would open up opportunities and experiences for her that had been denied her for way too long. But would she trust him enough to guide her through what would no doubt be a difficult and frightening journey for her?
* * *
Artie turned to face Luca once the call had ended. His arm was still around her waist and every nerve beneath her skin was acutely aware of its solid warm presence. ‘I’m not so sure we convinced him. Are you?’
Luca’s expression was etched in frowning lines. ‘Who knows?’ His features relaxed slightly and he added, ‘You did well. That was a nice touch about me being your dream husband. It’s kind of scary how convincing you sounded.’ He brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face, his gaze darkening.
Artie disguised a swallow, her heart giving a little kick when his eyes drifted to her mouth. ‘Yes, well, I surprised myself, actually.’ She frowned and glanced down at the engagement and wedding rings on her hand and then lifted her gaze back to his. ‘I feel like I’m letting you down by not being able to leave the castello. If we’d gone in person to see him, or even better, married somewhere closer so your grandfather could have attended...’
‘You’re not letting me down at all,’ Luca said. ‘But what if I tried to help you? We could start small and see how it goes—baby steps.’
‘I’ve had help before and it hasn’t worked.’
‘But you haven’t had my help.’ He smiled and took her hand, running his thumb over the back of it in gentle strokes. ‘It’s worth a try, surely?’
Panic crawled up her spine and sent icicles tiptoeing across her scalp. ‘What, now?’
‘No time like the present.’
Artie compressed her lips, trying to control her breathing. ‘I don’t know...’
He raised her chin with the end of his finger. ‘Trust me, cara. I won’t push you further than you can manage. We will take it one step at a time.’
Artie swallowed and then let out a long, ragged breath. ‘Okay. I’ll try but don’t be mad at me if I don’t get very far.’
He leaned down and pressed a light kiss to the middle of her forehead. ‘I won’t get mad at you, mia piccola. I’m a very patient man.’
A few minutes later, Artie stood with Luca on the front steps of the castello, her gaze focussed on the long walk to the brass gates in the distance. Her heart was beating so fast she could feel its echo in her ears. Her skin was already damp with perspiration, and her legs trembling like a newborn foal’s. She desperately wanted to conquer her fear, now more than ever. She wanted to meet Luca’s grandfather, to uphold her side of their marriage deal but what if she failed yet again? She had failed every single time she had tried to leave the castello. It was like a thick glass wall was blocking her exit. She could see the other side to freedom but couldn’t bring herself to step over the boundary lines. The castello was safe. She was safe here. Other people on the outside were safe from her.
What would happen if she went past her self-imposed boundary?
Luca took her hand and smiled down at her. ‘Ready? One step at a time. Take all the time you need.’
Artie sucked in a deep breath and went down the steps to the footpath. So far, so good. ‘I’ve done this before, heaps of times, and I always fail.’
‘Don’t talk yourself into failure, cara.’ His tone was gently reproving. ‘Believe you can do something and you’ll do it.’
‘Easy for you to say.’ Artie flicked him a glance. ‘You’re confident and run a successful business. You’ve got runs on the board. What do I have? A big fat nothing.’
Luca stopped and turned her so she was facing him, his hands holding her by the upper arms. ‘You have cared for your father for a decade. You quite likely extended his life by doing so. Plus, you’re a gifted embroiderer. I have never seen such detailed and beautiful work. You have to start believing in yourself, cara. I believe in you.’
Artie glanced past his broad shoulder to the front gates, fear curdling her insides. She let out another stuttering breath and met his gaze once more. ‘Okay, let’s keep going. I have to do this. I can do this.’
‘That’s my girl,’ Luca said, smiling and taking her by the hand again. ‘I’m with you every step of the way.’
Artie took two steps, then three, four, five until she lost count. The gates loomed closer and closer, the outside world and freedom beckoning. But just as she got to about two-thirds of the way down the path a bird suddenly flew up out of the nearby shrubbery and Artie was so startled she lost her footing and would have tripped if Luca hadn’t been holding her hand. ‘Oh!’ she gasped.
‘You’re okay, it was just a bird.’
Artie glanced at the front gates, her heart still banging against her breastbone. ‘I think I’m done for one day.’
He frowned. ‘You don’t want to try a little more? We’re almost there. Just a few more steps.’
She turned back to face the safety of the castello, breathing hard. ‘I’m sorry but I can’t do any more. I’ll try again tomorrow.’
And I’ll fail just like every other time.
Luca stroked his hand over the back of her head. ‘You did well, mia piccola.’
Artie gave him a rueful look. ‘I failed.’
He stroked her cheek with a lazy finger, his gaze unwavering. ‘Failure is when you give up trying.’ He took her hand again with another smile. ‘Come on. It’s thirsty work wrestling demons, sì?’
Once they were back inside the castello in the salon, Artie let out a sigh. ‘It’s not that I don’t want to go outside...’
He handed her a glass of mineral water. ‘What are you most frightened of?’
She took the glass from him and set it on the table next to her, carefully avoiding his gaze. ‘I’m frightened of hurting people.’
‘Why do you think you’ll hurt someone?’
Artie lifted her eyes to his. ‘It was my fault we had the accident.’
Luca frowned and came over to sit beside her, taking her hands in his. ‘But you weren’t driving, surely? You were only fifteen, sì?’
She looked down at their joined hands, her chest feeling so leaden it was almost impossible to take in another breath. ‘I wanted to go to a party. My parents didn’t want me to go but like teenagers do, I wouldn’t take no for an answer. They relented and I went to the party, which wasn’t as much fun as I’d hoped. And when my parents picked me up that night...well, my father was tired because it was late and he didn’t see the car drifting into his lane in time to take evasive action. I woke up in hospital after being in a coma for a month to find my mother had died instantly and my father was in a wheelchair.’
Luca put his arms around Artie and held her close. ‘I’m sorry. I know there are no words to take away the guilt and sadness but you were just a kid.’
Artie eased back to look up at him through blurry vision. ‘I haven’t ever met anyone else who truly understood.’ She twisted her mouth wryly, ‘Not that I’ve met a lot of people in the last ten years.’ She lifted her hand to his face and stroked his lean jaw and added. ‘But I think you do understand.’
A shadow passed through his gaze and he pulled her hand down from his face. ‘You don’t know me, cara. You don’t know what I’m capable of.’ His voice contained a note of self-loathing that made the back of her neck prickle.
‘Why do you say that?’
He sprang off the sofa in an agitated fashion. ‘I haven’t told you everything about the day my father and brother
died.’
She swallowed tightly. ‘Do you want to tell me now?’ Her voice came out whisper-soft.
Luca pulled at one side of his mouth with his straight white teeth, his hands planted on his slim hips. Then he released a ragged breath. ‘It was my fault they drowned. We were on holiday in Argentina. We had gone to an isolated beach because I’d heard the waves were best there. I wanted to go back in for another surf even though the conditions had changed. I didn’t listen to my father. I just raced back in and soon got into trouble.’ He winced as if recalling that day caused him immeasurable pain. ‘My father came in after me and then my brother. The rip took them both out to sea. I somehow survived. I can never forgive myself for my role in their deaths. I was selfish and reckless, and in trying to save me, they both lost their lives.’
Artie went to him and grasped him by both hands. ‘Oh, Luca, you were only a child. Kids do stuff like that all the time, especially teenage boys. You mustn’t blame yourself. But I understand how you do...you see, I blame myself for my mother’s death and my dad’s disability.’
‘I do understand.’ His eyes were full of pain. ‘There were times when I wished I had been the one to die. I’m sure you wished the same. But that doesn’t help anyone, does it?’
‘No...’ She leaned her head against the solid wall of his chest, slipping her arms back around his waist. ‘Thank you.’
‘For?’ The deep, low rumble of his voice reverberated next to her ear.
Artie looked back up at him. ‘For listening. For understanding. For not judging.’ She took a little hitching breath and added, ‘For wanting me when I thought no one ever could.’
Luca brushed his thumb over the fullness of her lower lip, setting off a firestorm in her flesh. ‘I want you. I’ve tried ignoring it, denying it, resisting it, but it won’t go away.’ His voice dropped to a lower pitch, tortured almost, as if he was fighting a battle within himself between what he should do and what he shouldn’t.
Artie licked her lips and encountered the saltiness of his thumb. ‘I want you too.’ She touched his firm jaw with her hand. ‘I don’t see why we have to stick to the rules. We are attracted to each other physically. Why not enjoy the opportunity? How else am I going to gain experience? I’m hardly going to meet anyone whilst living here, and we’re married anyway, so why not?’ She could hardly believe how brave she was being, speaking her needs out loud. But something about Luca made her feel brave and courageous. His desire for her spoke to her on a cellular level, making her aware of her body and its needs in a way she hadn’t thought possible.
Luca cupped one side of her face in his hand, his thumb stroking over her cheek in slow, measured strokes. A frown settled between his brows, his eyes darker than she had ever seen them. ‘Is that really want you want? A physical relationship, knowing it will end after six months?’
Maybe it won’t end.
Artie didn’t say it out loud—she was shocked enough at hearing it inside her head.
Since the accident, she had denied herself any dreams of one day finding love, of marrying and having a family. She had destroyed her family, so why should she have one of her own? But now she had met Luca, she realised what she was missing out on. The thrill of being attracted to someone and knowing they desired you back. The perfectly normal needs within her body she had ignored for so long were fully awake and wanting, begging to be assuaged. ‘I want to know what it is like to make love with a man,’ Artie said. ‘I want that man to be you. I trust you to take care of me. To treat me with respect.’
He stroked her hair back from her forehead, his eyes dark and lustrous. ‘I can’t think of a time when I wanted someone more. But I told myself I wasn’t going to take advantage of the situation—of you. I don’t think it would be fair to give you false hope that this could lead to anything...more permanent.’
She leaned closer, winding her arms around his neck. ‘Stop overthinking it. Do what your heart is telling you, not your head. Make love to me, Luca.’
Luca placed his hands on her hips and bent his head down so their lips were within touching distance. ‘Are you sure? There’s still time to change your mind.’
Artie pressed her lips against his, once, twice, three times. ‘I’m not changing my mind. I want this. I want you.’
He stood and drew her to her feet, dropping a warm, firm kiss to her lips. ‘Not here. Upstairs. I want everything to be perfect for you.’
A short time later, they were in Luca’s bedroom. He closed the door softly behind them and ran his gaze over Artie. She had expected to feel shy, self-conscious about her body, but as soon as he began to undo the buttons on her top, she shivered with longing, desperate to be naked with him, to feel his skin against her own.
He kissed her lingeringly, taking his time nudging and nibbling her lips, teasing her with his tongue, tantalising her senses with his taste and his touch. His mouth moved down to just below her ear and she shivered as his lips touched her sensitive skin. One of his hands slipped beneath her unbuttoned top, gliding along the skin of her ribcage to cup one of her breasts. His touch was gentle and yet it created a tumultuous storm in her flesh. Her nipple tightened, her breast tingled, her legs weakened as desire shot through her like a missile strike.
‘I want to touch you all over.’ His tone had a sexy rough edge that made her senses whirl.
‘I want to touch you too.’ Artie tugged his T-shirt out of his jeans and slid her hands under the fabric to stroke his muscular chest. His warm, hard flesh felt foreign, exotically foreign, unlike anything she had touched before. She explored the hard planes and ridged contours of his hair-roughened chest, marvelling at the difference between their bodies. A difference that excited her, made her crazy with longing, eager to discover more.
Luca unclipped her bra and gazed at her breasts for a long moment, his eyes dark and shining with unmistakable desire. ‘So beautiful.’ His thumbs rolled over each of her nipples, his gaze intent, as if he found her breasts the most fascinating things he’d ever seen. Before this moment Artie had more or less ignored her breasts other than to do her monthly breast check. But now she was aware of the thousands of nerve-endings that were responding to Luca’s touch. Aware of the way her tender flesh tingled and tautened under his touch. Aware of the primal need it triggered in her feminine core—of the ache that longed to feel the hard male presence of his body.
Artie gasped as Luca brought his mouth to her breasts, her hands gripping him by the waist, not trusting her legs to keep her upright as the sensations washed through her. His tongue teased her nipple into a tight point, and then he circled it with a slow sweep of his tongue.
The slight roughness of his tongue against her softer skin evoked another breathless and shuddering gasp from her. ‘Oh... Oh...’
Luca lifted his mouth off her breast and smiled a bone-melting smile. ‘You like that?’
Artie leaned closer, the feel of her naked breasts pressing against his muscular chest sending another riot of tingling sensations through her body. ‘I love it when you touch me. I can’t get enough of it.’
He slid his hands down to the waistband of her jeans, his fingers warm against her belly as he undid the snap button. Who knew such an action could cause such a torrent of heat in her body? Artie could barely stop her legs from shaking in anticipation. He held her gaze in a sensual lock that made her heart skip and trip. He slid his hand beneath the loosened waistband, cupping her mound through the thin, lacy barrier of her knickers. Her body responded with humid heat, slickening, moistening with the dew of desire.
‘I can’t seem to get enough of you either,’ he said. ‘But I don’t want to rush you. I want to go slowly to make it good for you.’
Artie placed her hands on the waistband of his jeans. ‘Can I?’
His eyes gleamed. ‘Go for it.’
She held her breath and undid the fastening and slid down the zipper. She peel
ed back his underwear and drank in the potent sight of him engorged with blood, thickened with longing. Longing for her.
Luca drew in a sharp breath as her fingers skated over his erection. He removed her hand and returned his mouth to hers in a spine-tingling kiss that spoke of the primal need pulsing through his body. The flicker of his tongue against hers, the increasing urgency and pressure of his mouth drew from her a fevered response she hadn’t thought possible.
Within a few breathless moments they were both naked and lying on the bed together, Luca’s eyes roving over her body in glinting hunger. He placed a hand on her hip, turning her towards him, his expression becoming sober. ‘There’s something we need to discuss. Protection. We can’t let any accidents happen, especially given the terms of our relationship.’
Artie knew he was being reasonable and responsible but a secret part of her flinched at his adamant stance on the six-month time frame. An accidental pregnancy would change everything. It would tie them together for the next eighteen years...possibly for ever. ‘I understand. I wouldn’t want any...accidents either.’ She had not allowed herself to think of one day having a baby but now a vision popped into her head of a gorgeous, dark-haired baby... Luca’s baby.
Don’t get any ideas. You know the terms. Six months and six months only.
Her conscience had an annoying habit of reminding her of the deal she had made with Luca. A deal she hoped she wouldn’t end up regretting in the end.
Luca stroked his hand down the flank of her thigh, his gaze centred on hers. ‘It’s important to me that you enjoy our lovemaking. I want you to feel comfortable, so please tell me if something isn’t working for you or you want to stop at any point.’
Artie traced the shape of his lower lip with her finger. ‘I’ve liked everything so far. I thought I’d be nervous about being naked with someone but this feels completely natural, as if we’ve done this before in another lifetime. Does that make sense?’
His Innocent's Passionate Awakening Page 9
