by Woods, Karen
Fallon finished giving her statement, she looked tired. The doctor wanted to keep her in for a couple of days but she told him straight she wanted to go back home. DCI Simpson walked with the family to the exit. He never usually showed any kind of emotion but this time he squeezed his arms around Fallon tightly. “Don’t you let this bastard ruin your life sweetheart. You’re stronger than you think.” Fallon choked back the tears and nodded her head. Taylor watched them walk off in the distance and sank his head low.
Later that night Fallon lay in her bed as the moonlight shone through her window. John was staying over tonight and she could hear him talking to her mother and Lesley downstairs. She knew he wouldn’t be in bed for ages. Fallon stretched her arm under the bed. Her letters were missing; she dipped her head further under the bed and located them. They’d been moved, someone must have been reading them. Dragging out some of Dalton’s letters she held them to her bosom. Why was she even reading them again? She’d promised herself she wouldn’t. As if the letters held mystical powers her eyes scanned the words her first love had written. She felt warmth riding through her body as each sentence he’d written cradled her heart. His words were so calming.
Choking back the tears Fallon rolled on her side. Would her life ever be normal again? The bedroom door creaked open. Slowly turning her head she could see the shadow of a man, it was Bob her father. The air was filled with the smell of booze and stale cigarettes. He walked over to her bedside and sat on the edge of the bed. She could hear him snivelling.
“My baby. Why you? I’m sure this family is cursed.”
Fallon sat up and she could see her father’s face in the moonlight. His eyes looked like ice. “Dad don’t cry, I’m going to be alright, it’s just going to take some time.”
He shook his head, “Perhaps if I’d been more of a father all this shit wouldn’t have happened. I’m just a washed up drunken old bastard who’s good for nothing.”
Fallon agreed with her dad, but never told him that. After a moment’s silence, Bob leant over and kissed his daughter on her cheek. The wetness from his tears could be felt on her face. Standing to his feet he let out a laboured breath.
“I’m not drinking another drop of ale. I swear Fallon as from tomorrow, I’m on the wagon. For fucks sake you’re getting married soon and I’m giving you away. Do you really want me to embarrass you?”
Fallon gripped the corner of the blanket, just the word marriage made her feel jittery inside. Taking a few seconds to gather her thoughts she replied. “Dad, I won’t lie to you, if you can stay off the beer I would be so proud for you to give me away, but it’s not as easy as that is it?”
Bob didn’t answer; he left the room and closed the door behind him.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Dalton sat in his mother’s house watching the TV. He’d made some big changes to it in the short time he was there. He’d bought new carpets and treated his mother to a new sofa. Maria had started talking to her husband again, but it was early days yet and she kept telling her son there was no way in this world she was ever getting back with him, but you could see her letting down her defences every time they met.
Kirsty was phoning all the time, and she’d told Dalton that she was filing for a divorce, she’d had enough. Dalton looked different; his grey complexion had disappeared and there was a hint of colour in his cheeks even his hair looked shiny and well cut. Everything was falling back into place in his life. He’d got himself a new job as a site manager and he seemed to be enjoying his life back in Manchester.
Maria walked into the front room holding two cups of coffee. Bending her knees slightly she placed them onto the table. As she sat down she looked at her son, it was time to have a heart to heart with him and get something off her chest. Picking her cup up, she slurped on her piping hot brew. Taking the remote control for the TV she turned the volume down, she wanted to make sure she had his full attention. Dalton looked at her and wondered what was going on. “I was watching that Mam, what are you turning it down for?”
Maria sat upright in her chair and smiled softly. “I want to talk to you.”
He turned his body to face her and he was hanging onto her every word. “Come on then, what’s up? Hurry up then. I want to watch the end of this film.”
Maria shrugged her shoulders. “Watching stupid films... We need to get your life sorted out, that’s more important than any bloody television programme.” He raised his eyes to the ceiling. Not another lecture about his job. He’d heard it time and time again; she was doing his head in. He sat with a face like a smacked arse waiting for her to start. “It’s Fallon,” his jaw dropped and he looked surprised. His mother hadn’t mentioned her name for weeks, so why was she doing it now? He thought she hated her. “It’s time to go and see her. I know she’s on your mind constantly and well... Well, you’ll never know unless you try.”
Dalton clammed up and played with his fingers. His mother must have read his mind, he was planning to go and see Fallon, but he just hadn’t found the courage yet. “Mam, just back off will you. I know what I need to do. It’s just going to take some time.”
She jumped up from her chair; she was marching about the front room. “Time isn’t on your side son; she’s getting married in a few weeks. The 9th of May I think it is, well, that’s what I’ve heard anyway. That’s only two weeks away. You need to move your arse and find out one way or another if she still wants you.”
Dalton dragged his hands through his thick crop of hair, he was unsure of himself. Licking his lips he replied. “What if she doesn’t want me? What then? Do you know how long this girl has been inside my head? If she rejects me I don’t think I could cope without her. I’ll have nothing.”
“Well you should have thought about that before you married Kirsty shouldn’t you? You’ve blamed me and your father for years but no, Dalton; I’m not taking the blame for it anymore. You made the mistake not us.”
He was up in arms and ready to walk out. Maria stood near the door and blocked his exit. “Don’t run away from the truth son. You know it, and I know it. You fucked it up, not us.” For years Dalton had blamed his parents for his downfall and hearing these words from his mother he looked distraught. This had been his explanation for as long as he could remember and now the truth was hitting him in the face he couldn’t bear it.
“No, you just stop right there. It was you who made me marry her, remember what you said mother.” He held a finger to the corner of his mouth in a sarcastic manner. “You said he if I spoilt your dream of a new life in London you would never forgive me. You were that far up your own arse that you didn’t give a flying fuck about anybody else. You drove my Dad mad with all your demands. All the posh nights out, all the expensive holidays you made him pay for. No wonder he had to pinch from the company to keep you happy. He did it for you, you drove him to it. You and you’re fucking daft dreams. So, when you say I ruined it, take a look at your own marriage and take the blame for that.”
Maria screamed at the top of her voice, she was on the verge of slapping him. “Oh, go on turn it all around. That’s what you always do when I’m right. The best form of defence is attack. I’m not listening to a word you say. You know I’m right, so deal with it.”
Dalton barged past her and left the room. Maria paced the floor and she was in two minds whether to run up the stairs after him. Taking deep breaths she plonked back down into her chair, she needed to calm down. Dalton clenched his fist as he slammed his bedroom door shut. Walking to the window he opened it and inhaled the fresh winter air. Once he’d calmed down he sat on the bed and held his head in his hands. Small beads of sweat were visible on his forehead. “Fuck it,” he mumbled as he gripped his cash card from the drawer at the side of him. Running down the stairs he grabbed his coat from the banister. The sound of the front door slamming could be heard. Maria walked into the hallway and shouted up the stairs, there was no answer. He was gone. Dalton walked to the bus stop. Standing there waiting for the bus his min
d was made up. His mother was right, it was time to go and see Fallon, but not yet. He had to be ready first. He just needed a bit more time.
Motorbikes were one of Dalton’s guilty pleasures. Stood in the shop looking at them all, he smiled. Kirsty would never allow him to buy a bike in a million years. When he told her he was getting one she spat her dummy out big time and told him to grow up. Nobody was there now to stop him and he was like a kid in a candy shop. The sales guy could tell by the customer’s face he was going to make a sale today. He could see the man stroking the Suzuki GSXR with longing eyes. Dalton sat on the bike and he felt alive. His eyes were wide open and his palms were sweating.
“Would you like to take it for a test drive Sir?” the assistant asked.
He knew full well once this man took it on the open road the deal would be done.
Dalton hesitated. “Erm, I was only looking. I’ve wanted a motorbike for years, but you know what the women are like?”
The salesman held a cunning look in his eyes and let out a sarcastic laugh. “Since when do we listen to a word the missus ever says?” he was testing him. “I was in the same boat as you mate, but I never let my wife stand in the way. I mean, we go out to work. We provide for them, so why can’t we have a bit of fun every now and then?”
Dalton nodded his head excitedly. This was his dream. It was what he deserved. He revved the engine on the mean machine; bending his body over he released the clutch and the engine burst into life. Riding onto the streets of Manchester he felt alive again. Kids stood watching him as he waited at the traffic lights. He could hear one of them speaking. “Check that bike out, it’s fucking mint innit.” Dalton sat up proud and revved the arse out of the engine, he was showing off now. The lights changed and he sped away like his life depended on it. Dalton jetted about the town centre; he wanted everyone to see him. Driving back to the shop the salesman was waiting eagerly for him at the car park. He watched the customer dismount and knew by his face he was addicted to the top of the range bike.
“Fuck me, it’s rapid,” Dalton said taking the helmet off. The man started to tell him about the engine size and all the technical stuff that he knew about the machine. He didn’t tell him the price yet, that would come last when he knew he was hooked. Dalton walked inside the showroom. He caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror, stopping dead in his tracks he smiled. He was going to buy his dream bike.
*
Bob sat in his armchair. He hadn’t touched a drop for days. He looked like he’d put a few pounds on around his waist. His first days without any alcohol were hard and his body was constantly craving it. Beryl made him an appointment to see the doctors to have him checked out, surely this behaviour wasn’t normal?
Fallon was just about coping with her life. Every now and then she would break down and cry, but her counsellors had told her that was all part of the healing process. Lesley was more or less living at Billy’s parent’s house with Denva. She’d just come back from a visit with Billy and she was sat in the front room telling Beryl and Bob all about it. Beryl was chugging on a cigarette as she listened to every word she said. Bob was fidgeting and he looked on edge all the time as if he had ants in his pants.
“He looks well Beryl, he’s lost a bit of weight but that’s to be expected isn’t it?”
Beryl nodded her head. “Yeah, I thought he might of.” Lesley looked at Billy’s mother and you could tell she was itching to tell her something. Getting herself comfortable she revealed that Billy had already put a price on Craig Jones’s head. Billy was a wise- head and he was very popular inside. Strangeways was full of the local thugs and Billy knew most of them. The inmates respected him and every time one of them was getting shipped out he made sure they knew about his sister’s attacker and made them promise they would sort him out if they ever landed in the same jail as him. Nobody knew which jail Craig Jones was in, but it was only a matter of time before he paid the price for his actions.
Billy had sworn that until his dying breath he wouldn’t settle until this man was in a body bag. Bob tried to join the conversation lots of times but his words were all jumbled up and nobody could understand a word he was saying. Beryl covered her mouth and whispered to Lesley, as her husband sat watching TV. “Fuck me, at least when he was pissed I could understand him. Now he’s sober I can’t make out a word he says. He was better company when he was pissed.”
Lesley nudged her in the arm. “Orr stop it Beryl, you’re so funny you are. Trust you to say something like that.” Bob was onto them both and knew his wife was taking the piss out of him again. He shot his eyes at her and rambled under his breath. She still couldn’t understand him.
*
Fallon had been off work for a few days, but today was her first day back. As she walked back onto the ward her friend Norma came to meet her. She was a lovely woman and her voice was always so calming. “Welcome back love. I know how hard it is for you and anytime you want to talk I’m here for you.”
Fallon choked back the tears; she waved her hand in front of her eyes. “Thanks Norma, that means a lot. I’m fine though, honest. I just want to get back to work and get on with my life.”
Norma pulled her by the arm. “Well, let’s have a brew first, and then you can get cracking. I want to know every detail about this wedding and more than anything, tell me about your dress?” Fallon sat down as Norma put the kettle on. A few more nurses came inside the staff room and welcomed Fallon back to work. They joined the conversation and they were eager to know all the details about the wedding dress too. Fallon sighed and raised a smile at her workmates, she’d missed them more than she realised. “My dress is plain I think, it’s not one of them “Big Fat Gypsy” wedding ones if that’s what you think!”
Norma turned her head from the side and rubbed her hands together. “Orr, why not? I love them big dresses.” She held her head back and chuckled. “I tell you what, if I was getting married again, they would need more than a carriage to get me and my dress inside; they’d need a bloody hoist.” Everyone was in stitches laughing. Norma was a character without any shadow of a doubt, she was loved by all her workmates and they classed her as the mother of the work force.
Fallon sailed through her shift at work, the time just flew by. When it was time to go, she looked terrified to leave the building on her own. Taking deep breaths, she knew she had to conquer her fears. The night was cold and a few people were in sight, she felt safer when she wasn’t alone. Standing at the bus stop she could still sense somebody was watching her. Her eyes were all over the place and her breathing was rapid. Looking at a small road near where she was stood she thought she saw a man watching her.
She lit a cigarette with shaking hands, “Stop fucking doing this Fallon, nobody is watching you,” she mumbled to herself. With each drag of her fag she seemed to calm down. She could see the bus approaching and looked relieved. Quickly she flicked the cig- butt onto the kerb and stuck her arm out for the bus to stop. Fallon walked to the back of the bus and she couldn’t help but look out of the window, there he was again. Somebody was definitely watching her. Fallon swallowed hard, she wanted it all to stop. She felt like she was going crazy.
Dalton froze. He’d parked his bike at the other end of the street. When he saw Fallon for the first time his heart stopped beating. Just as he was about to make his move, her bus came, what a nightmare. He chewed his fingernails, he let out a desperate gasping breath, he’d missed his chance. Seeing his first love again for the first time he knew what he felt in his heart was true. He still loved her more than ever. Trudging back down the alleyway his head was in bits. How was he ever going to see her again? Placing his helmet on his head he mounted his motorbike and revved the engine. Dalton sat thinking; he was in two minds whether or not he should follow her home to see if he could catch her before she got there. Revving the engine again he sped off.
Fallon walked inside the house. She had loads to do, the following evening was her hen night and she was trying her best to at least
look excited about it. Lesley smiled at her best friend as she came through the back door. “How was work? Did everything go okay?” Fallon nodded as she sat down next to her Dad on the sofa. Inhaling deeply she was sure she could smell alcohol, she gave him a quick look. Bob stood up and left the room, he looked in a mood.
Fallon shot her eyes to her mother. “What’s up with him?”
Beryl checked her husband was gone, she giggled as she came back into the front room. “His face is like a smacked arse because I’ve got his fucking Giro,” she waved it about in front of her face. “I’ve told him straight, he’s not having a penny of it either. I mean, there’s not a crumb of food in the house and he’s mithering me for money for a bet. He can go and fuck himself; he’s not getting a carrot.”
Fallon raised her eyes, “Sorry I asked,” she giggled.
Lesley rubbed her hands together. “Our outfits have come. Come upstairs and try yours on, mine looks mint, doesn’t it Beryl,”
Fallon’s mother sniggered. “You can’t call that an outfit, there’s nothing to it. And, you can see all her muff when she bends over.”
Lesley held her stomach laughing. “Can you eck Beryl, stop lying. It’s a French maid’s outfit, it’s supposed to looks sexy.”
Fallon tried to smile but she was struggling. Lesley had organised everything for the hen night, and Fallon knew without a shadow of a doubt that her best friend had booked her a stripper. She didn’t let on she knew though, but she’d heard her on the phone to one of the other girls organising it weeks before. Lesley and Fallon went upstairs; Lesley was pulling her by the arm. “Come on then, get your kit off and try it on.”
