by Hall, Linsey
“The same way that you would kill him on earth. He doesn’t have an earthly body, but he’s no ghost either. As the person who killed him the first time, only you can kill him again. And you’re the only one who can dispatch his afterworld form.”
“Wait...what? What about his soul? Is that different from his afterworld form?”
“Ah, good catch. We don’t know if it would be destroyed. Perhaps it would, or perhaps it would go elsewhere. Souls are pretty tough.”
“But what about the myth? The story of you and Camulos? You destroyed his soul in Otherworld.”
“Thought I did. And for a long time, we thought that he was gone forever. I’ve very recently discovered that might not actually be the case. He’s probably still alive.”
Were her eyes a little brighter?
“So, that’s why you don’t think I can destroy Paulinus’s soul?”
“Yes.”
Diana’s chest constricted. If Camulos could come back after Andrasta had killed him...
“So, is there no way to destroy Paulinus so that he can never hurt us again?” Diana asked.
“Well, there’s no way for you to destroy him forever.” She hesitated before continuing, searching Diana’s face as if she were debating her next words. “But if he were to kill himself, then yes, possibly. The universe allows us choice, and if he were to make the choice, particularly if it were in sacrifice, then his soul would probably disappear.”
“Wait—why sacrifice?”
“It’s one of the most powerful forces there is. Just killing yourself in the afterworld could destroy your soul, but it’s not a sure thing. What would hell be if you could escape it? However, a sacrifice can give it that extra push.”
So, like her survival, truly defeating Paulinus was possible but not probable. “And what about me? Could I survive this?”
“In some form or another, yes. You’ll always survive.”
“You were made a god.”
“Those were very different circumstances.” Andrasta frowned sympathetically.
Diana’s shoulders drooped. “I didn’t really want to be made a god. But I didn’t want to die either.”
“I know. You’ll probably be reincarnated as you were before.”
“That’s it? That’s my best bet?” Wait another two thousand years to be reborn? Where would Cadan be by then?
“Yeah, I’m really sorry I can’t give you more. But you are the key to this, and it won’t necessarily end in tragedy. But I’ve run out of earth time and the other gods will notice my absence. I’ve got to go.”
“Thanks, Andrasta.” And she was grateful. She really was. But with everything looming on the horizon, it was hard to remember.
“Of course. It’s not often that I get out of Otherworld. Earth rocks.” The goddess looked away from her then and around the clearing. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
It looked pretty bleak to Diana, but maybe that was because she’d died here before. “The clearing?”
“Earth.” Andrasta reached down to pick up a handful of fallen leaves. She inhaled deeply of their fragrance, then let them flutter to the ground. Diana caught sight of a hint of green in the leaves, as if the life had returned to them after Andrasta’s touch.
“I suppose. But you’re from the land of the gods. Isn’t it beautiful there?”
Andrasta sighed. “It’s not home.”
The comment squeezed Diana’s heart. Andrasta had been mortal, after all. “Would you return here if you could?”
“I’d give anything.”
So would I. But how was she going to make that happen?
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Diana opened her eyes in Esha’s flat. Esha lay sprawled on the couch throwing cat treats to the Chairman, who didn’t seem to be moving much but managed to catch them in his mouth all the same. Warren was pacing behind the kitchen island.
“Hey, warrior lady, how’d it go?” Esha looked up from the magazine she was skimming with the hand that wasn’t throwing treats.
“Neither as well nor as poorly as it could have.” Which was just another way of saying that she was in the same situation as before she’d left.
Screwed.
“You just can’t get a break with this.” Esha lobbed a high-flying treat at the cat, who snagged it out of the air.
“Too true. Where’s Cadan?” Diana asked.
“On an errand. He’ll be back soon.” Esha set down the magazine and looked at Diana. For all her joking and treat throwing, her eyes reflected the direness of the situation. “Are you going in? To get Paulinus?”
“Yes.”
Esha grimaced. “No other way, huh?”
Diana shook her head.
“Then you think you can do this? Kill him and all?”
“I don’t know. But I know that if I don’t try, then they’ll eventually find me and kill me. And if the portal opens to more harpies, then a lot of other people will die as well.” Her dreams of a tenure-track teaching position seemed silly in comparison.
There was a pounding at the door and Esha leapt up to answer it. Diana wasn’t surprised to see that it was Cadan. She was in his arms before she could blink. He lifted her face to his and kissed her hard on the mouth.
“What did you find?” he asked as he drew away.
He looked so good. Alive and healthy and permanent in a way that she wanted to be. Diana relayed everything that Andrasta had told her.
“That’s not great,” Esha said.
Diana agreed. Definitely not great.
“She knows nothing, is what you’re saying.” The muscles of Cadan’s arms were tense beneath her hands.
“No, just not much that can really help me, except for the fact that I really am the only person who can do this.” While part of her soul soared at the thought, most of her felt sick over it.
Cadan yanked her to him once again and held her tightly.
“Let’s discuss logistics.” Diana pulled out of his arms. She’d barely accepted her fate and if she was going to go through with this, it was going to have to be soon, before she backed out and threatened the whole world, not just herself. “How do I get my entire soul into Erebus, since only sending part of it didn’t work the first time around?”
“That’s fairly simple.” Warren’s voice was calm as he turned from Esha to look at her, but there was something sad in his eyes. “You have to walk through the portal. Your body may die at the entry and collapse, but your soul would continue through.”
“But I can’t see the portal.”
“I can guide you,” Esha said.
“So then I would be in Erebus? Not Tartarus or the Fields of Asphodel or any of the other Roman afterworld realms?”
“Aye, since that is where he opened it,” Warren said.
“It would be best if you could sneak up on Paulinus, since he will be expecting you. I think I can help with that,” Esha said.
“Thank you.”
“When will you go?” Warren asked.
“Tomorrow morning. It has to be soon.” Before I back out.
Diana winced as Cadan squeezed her hand. She would go and kill the father, but then what would happen to the son?
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
They barely made it through the front door of his flat when they returned from Esha’s. Cadan was on her in an instant. He’d meant to be gentle. Their last night should be tender, but fear for her rode his back like a demon.
He slammed the door behind him and whirled her around until she was pressed against it.
“Cadan.” Her voice was breathless as he crowded her up against the door.
“Diana. I need you.”
“Yes,” she whispered. “Now. Please now.”
He groaned as he bent his head to capture her lips. His hands gripped her hips and yanked her toward him.
Diana fumbled with his fly. Faster. The silk of her shirt tore beneath his hands, her pale breasts beautiful in the light. He tore off her panties, desperately gr
ateful to find her wet and ready. His fingers lingered only briefly before desire overwhelmed him. He thrust inside her, groaning as her wet heat closed around him.
She moaned his name. Desperate longing drove him as he pounded into her. Take me. Take all of me. He wanted to bury his pain and his fear in this one perfect act. For just a second he wanted to forget everything the future held in store for him without her.
When her pussy began to contract around him and her cries echoed in his ears, his wish was made reality.
An hour later they lay in bed together, wrapped in one another as if they’d never have to part.
“Cadan,” Diana said. Her small hand came up to rest on his cheek and he turned into it. “I’m sorry that I’m leaving you again.”
Nay, you’re not leaving me again. I won’t be letting you. He crushed those thoughts, and waited before speaking, desperately hoping that she would ask for his help. It was fucking hard to resist the instinct to keep her safe by fighting her battles for her.
“If there was any other way for me to stay, to not go through with this, I would do it. But I have to save Vivienne. To close the portal.”
Ask me. Ask me to help. Ask me. It was torture not to tell her his plans, but he wanted her to ask for his help rather than force it on her.
Diana looked at the man holding her as if he were afraid to ever let go. How could she not love this tortured, complex man?
“Cadan,” she said, hoping to prove to both of them that she trusted his word, “would you escort me to the portal tomorrow? I want you to be there when I go.”
And in truth, she needed him to be there. Even worse, she might need him to carry her there because she wasn’t sure if she could walk to her death on two steady feet.
“Aye, Diana.”
Thank God.
“But I’ll be going through with you.” His voice brooked no argument.
Shocked, she broke out of his arms and looked up at him. His jaw was set and his eyes fierce.
“But you can’t. You’ll die. Your soul could be stuck there.”
“Aye, possibly. You think that would stop me?”
A hard lump formed in her throat, painful in its intensity, and her eyes prickled. She didn’t want to be alone in this, but she didn’t want him to die, either.
“I was at the university today,” he said. “Trying to figure out if I could survive going through the portal. There’s a chance I can.”
“Really? How?”
“Some species, like the demons, can pass through safely. Because Erebus is the region of the Roman underworld that is reserved for warriors, it’s possible that Mythean Guardians, who are warriors and immortal, can pass over the boundary without losing our earthly bodies and becoming trapped.”
“You’re sure?” Her heart raced.
“Nay.”
“But what if I’m trapped there? Is that how I’m supposed to die? By becoming trapped? What if I succeed in killing him, but I can’t get back out because I’m mortal and can’t get back to my body?”
His arms squeezed the breath from her lungs. “Then I’ll stay. I’ll find a way to get you out—or I’ll stay.”
“In hell?” Her heart constricted at the thought of the man she loved trapped in hell with her soul.
“Do you think it hasn’t been hell here on earth without you? Hell is wherever you are no’.”
She gripped him fiercely in return. Could he possibly love her? “And if he kills me?”
“Won’t let him.” Determination flashed behind his eyes.
“But if he does, and I’m reincarnated as another person…you’ll wait for me, right? You’ll know me? You’ll make me remember us?”
Her throat tightened, a jagged rock lodged within. Once again, she didn’t speak of love, and neither did he. Everything was too fraught with emotion and tension to add it, but she couldn’t help but ask.
“Aye, I’ll always know you.” He crushed her mouth to his. She returned the desperation of his kiss, tangling her hands in his hair and welcoming the invasion of his tongue. He clutched her close and she poured her heart into him.
When they drew apart, she caught her breath. “You’ll let me do this, though? You won’t try to interfere as you did with Boudica?” If I’m destined to die, I might as well get a chance to save my friend and the world.
“You are the only one who can accomplish this task. But I’ll be there, should you need me.” She felt his muscles tighten beneath her.
“Then we need a plan. I’m a good fighter, thanks to my soul’s memories, but it’s no guarantee that I’ll win. So I need something clever to ensure my victory.”
And so she told him her plan, hoping he would agree.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Her last morning on earth was clear and bright. The crisp autumn air was cold on her throat. God, it was good to be alive.
Diana turned to look at the man she loved. They’d risen early, before dawn. The sun was beginning to peek over the tops of the buildings as they walked down one of the sets of narrow stone stairs that wound through the city, a few errant leaves scraped along the ground in front of them. Autumn was nearly past now, and winter was on its way. She tried not to think of what that meant for her. But all of these unknown people she was trying to save had better appreciate it.
They hadn’t far to go, only to the base of the small cliff upon which both Edinburgh Castle and Cadan’s flat sat. As they stepped off the last stair and into the Grassmarket, a small district at the bottom of the stairs, the sun crept over the buildings and cast its warm glow on their intricate, soot-stained facades.
Diana wished that it would warm her the way that it warmed the buildings, but she didn’t think it would be that simple.
She reached for Cadan’s hand as they walked along the street at the base of the cliff. They were to meet Esha and Warren at the entrance to the underground and these would be her last few moments alone with Cadan when they wouldn’t be fighting for their lives. Maybe they should just turn and run for it and hope for the best.
Instead, she took a bracing breath.
Too soon, they came upon Esha and Warren, who stood a few feet apart near a crevice in the cliff’s side. She squeezed Cadan’s hand, then let go.
I can do this.
“So, you’re ready?” Esha asked. Her long, graceful form was slouched casually against the rock wall, but her face and eyes were serious.
“I am.” Diana was grateful that her voice was stronger than her stomach, but it was little consolation. She hadn’t been able to keep down her coffee this morning; was, in fact, barely able to comprehend that it might have been her last cup.
She felt Cadan’s hand squeeze her shoulder as if to keep her from trembling.
“Good. Here—” Esha stepped forward with her hand outstretched. “These are invisibility charms.” She dropped a necklace into her hand and another into Cadan’s. Diana closed her fingers around it tightly. “As long as it’s around your neck, you’ll be invisible. The charm will wear off in a few hours, though. I’ve added a little extra something so that you’ll be able to see each other, as long as each of you is wearing yours. If only one is wearing it, you’re screwed.”
“Thanks. You made them?”
Esha nodded. “Took a couple tries, but since I can’t go with you I figured I’d try to use my magic this way. Send a little bit with you.”
“I appreciate it. I can use every bit of help I can get.”
“Then you’ll like this.” Esha pulled a pack off her back, unzipped it, and withdrew a large piece of stiff leather. “It’s an enchanted breastplate. It will help protect you from weapons and some magic.”
Diana’s throat tightened at the effort Esha was putting into keeping her alive. “You charmed this too?”
A rough chuckle escaped Esha. “No. The spell is better than anything I could manage. It’s Andrasta’s. She wanted you to have it for this, so she dropped it at my place last night. She said she hopes it helps.”
“Not a problem,” Esha said.
“Is this the only entrance?” Diana nodded toward the crevice.
“No, but it’s the one closest to the portal that doesn’t go through any heavily trafficked sections of the underground. We don’t want to run into anyone, and since I can’t transport everyone at once, we’ll just walk.” Esha turned, and after shooting Warren a quick glance, headed toward the crevice.
Diana wanted to look up at Cadan, but couldn’t. She teetered on the edge of a breakdown, and even a little bit of sympathy would push her over. She couldn’t afford that. She had a plan. What she didn’t have was another option. Fate might say she was supposed to die, but she wouldn’t go down without a fight.
Esha led them through the crevice in the wall. It expanded to let them enter and the air immediately took on the old, stale scent of abandonment. Esha handed out flashlights that she pulled from the bag thrown over her shoulder.
Diana flicked hers on to provide light for Cadan to hand out their weapons now that they were hidden within the underground. He unzipped the case he’d brought and handed her Boudica’s sword, then strapped a quiver of arrows and a small bow to his back. His sword came out last, though she knew he had a dagger in his boot as well.
“Ready?” Cadan asked.
She nodded and the four of them set off down the tunnel, crunching over rubble and animal bones.
They arrived at the chamber with the portal and Diana immediately started to breathe more shallowly from the stench. Stale air became dead air and her stomach dropped when Esha gestured toward the far side of the room to where the portal had opened. She still couldn’t see it, but within moments she would be walking through and leaving her body behind.
When her soul tore away from her body, would it hurt? She assumed it had to, and it became harder to drag air into her struggling lungs. The desire to run back out into the sun was nearly overwhelming. She reached blindly behind her for Cadan’s hand. She wasn’t sure if she could do this.
