I was astounded. I thought: Poor woman, she is indeed brought low.
But she remembered me in her darkest moments and she was now asking my forgiveness.
It was hard to forgive her, but an image of my mother rose in my mind and I knew what she would have me do.
I said, “Tell her to rest in peace. I forgive her on behalf of myself and my mother.”
The next day she went to Tower Green and laid her head on the block.
The Betrayal
NO SOONER WAS ANNE BOLEYN DEAD THAN MY FATHER WAS betrothed to Jane Seymour. I am not sure how many days elapsed before he married. It could not have been more than ten. I heard that it had taken place on the 30th of May in the Queen's Closet at York Place. Anne Boleyn had died on the 19th.
I often wondered about my father and whether his nights were disturbed by the ghosts of those who had fallen foul of his will. For so many years Anne Boleyn had been the center of his life. How could he have tired of her so quickly? I wondered about Jane Seymour. I had seen her on one or two occasions and found her gentle and unassuming. She had always been pleasant to me.
The story was that about a month before Anne's death my father had sent her a purse of sovereigns, telling her of his passion for her and hinting that she should become his mistress. Her reply had been that she could be no man's mistress, not even the King's. It was the familiar pattern. Anne Boleyn had started it. I wondered Jane Seymour did not have a few qualms about following her predecessor along such a dangerous path.
Of course she had ambitious brothers and, from what I heard of her, I imagined she would not be one to put up much resistance. In that of course she was the exact opposite of Anne. In fact, she seemed to be so in many ways. Perhaps that was why the King was attracted by her.
Elizabeth was at Hunsdon. She was now three, old enough to recognize the chilly change which was passing through the house and was to affect her.
She was no longer the pampered princess. Poor motherless little creature, I wondered how much she understood. She was a bright child with reddish hair almost exactly like her father's. She resembled him in many ways and had his fondness for her own way. Lady Bryan adored her. It was pleasant to be with my old friend again. I would always be grateful to her for her kindness to me when I was so alone.
Several of my old servants came to me… people I had not seen for several years. That was a joyous reunion. I was above all delighted to see Susan Clarencieux, who had been in my household when I was at Ludlow. I had always been especially fond of her.
I had thought that my circumstances would change with the departure of Anne Boleyn from the scene, and I was proved right.
Chapuys came to me. He was gleeful.
“You could very easily be received back at Court,” he said. “That is what we must work for. The new Queen is ready to be your friend.”
“I do remember meeting her in the past.”
“She has sentimental reasons about the family. The King is amused by them and apt to be indulgent at the moment. I am sure she will speak to him with regard to bringing you to Court.”
“A change from her predecessor!”
“A great change indeed…in all ways. The point is…I wonder how long it will take the King to tire of this shy violet. However, I feel sure it will not be long before you are back at Court. There must be no hitch. It is imperative that you come out of your exile.”
“Do you think the King will admit now that he was truly married to my mother?”
“I think he has gone too far with that to retreat with ease.”
“Still, he now hates Anne Boleyn so much.”
“And blames her for all that has happened. He is saying that it was through witchcraft that he became enamored of her and now that is removed he sees clearly. The people cheer you when you go out, do they not?”
“Yes, more so than ever now.”
“That is good. The King will have to respect the people's wish which is that you be reinstated. It might be advisable for you to write to him and ask his blessing and forgiveness.”
“Forgiveness… for what? For saying what is true… what I meant… for defending my mother?”
Chapuys raised his hand admonishingly. “A little compromise might be necessary.”
“I shall never deny my mother's marriage. She never did and was incapable of lying.”
“We shall see…we shall see,” murmured Chapuys.
“The King is in a mellow mood just now. He has a new wife and she pleases him. He has convinced himself that Anne Boleyn was evil, a witch…so his conscience is at rest on that score.”
“Do you think he will return to Rome?”
“I fear not. He has come too far to turn back.”
“So we are doomed for ever.”
Chapuys looked at me slyly. “It is unwise to talk of these matters, but it is not inconceivable that one day England will return to the true faith.”
“But if the King never would…”
He was looking at me intently. “You are no longer a child. Princess Elizabeth is now proclaimed to be a bastard. Fitzroy might have presented a threat but he cannot live more than a few months. He has death written on him. And the King's fall affected him more than was realized.”
“You mean his fall from the horse just before my mother died?”
He nodded.
“He has not ridden in the joust since. He has aged considerably. I have heard that there is an ulcer on his leg which is very painful. There is a possibility…But perhaps I should say no more. Indeed, it might be unwise to…”
I knew what he meant. My father was ageing. He had not been spectacularly successful in begetting children. What if he could get no more? Then who would follow him? Elizabeth? She was out of favor now, judged a bastard, for the King did not accept his marriage with Anne Boleyn. Nor did he accept his marriage to my mother. So there were two of us. Young Richmond—Henry Fitzroy—could not be counted because he would not be here much longer. I was the elder, and I would find greater favor with the people than the daughter of Anne Boleyn.
Chapuys was pointing to a dazzling prospect. Queen of England! A queen with a mission, which was to bring England back to the Holy Catholic Church.
Something happened to me then. I was lifted out of my despondency. I had a reason for living.
God would smile on me, surely. He would approve. My father had sinned against the Church. If ever I were Queen of this realm, I would repair the damage he had done.
Everything had changed. I was a woman with a mission.
* * *
I MUST RETURN to Court. I had been long enough in exile. I was not sure how my father felt about me, but I did know that he had been very angry about my loyalty to my mother. I had stood firmly for her against him and what had especially infuriated him was that the people were on my side. He would remember those cries of “Long live the Princess Mary!” when he had declared that I was no princess. Even now they were shouting loyally for me, and he could not have liked that.
I dared not write to him direct. Instead I addressed myself to Cromwell.
I did humble myself. I hoped my mother would understand if she could look down and see what I was doing. If I continued to be obstinate, I should be in exile forever, always wondering when someone would consider it necessary to make an end of me. Chapuys had now endowed me with a new ambition. I would succeed. I must succeed. I should have Heaven on my side, for I should be the one to bring England back to the true religion.
And if to do so I must humble myself, then humble I must be.
So I wrote asking my father's forgiveness, and I said how sorry I was to have disobeyed his wishes.
I waited for some response. There was none.
I wrote to him again and, having written, my conscience smote me. How could I, even as I stepped toward that dazzling future, deny the legality of my mother's marriage? Whatever the result, I knew that could only give her pain; and she, with her Catholic Faith, her unswerving devotion
to the Church of Rome, would never wish me to deny my faith…no matter what good it brought to England.
On impulse I wrote a separate note to Cromwell, telling him that, while I wished him to give my letter to the King, I feared I could not deny the validity of my mother's marraige and I could not agree with the severance from Rome.
In spite of this, Cromwell seemed determined to do all he could to bring me into favor with the King. He was fully aware that the people expected it and wanted it and that the King should do it for that reason. He must have been uneasy as to the effect my father's conduct was having on the people, who had clearly shown their support for us; true, they had hated Anne Boleyn when she was puffed up with pride, but people are apt to change their minds when those about them fall from grace. There was no cause now to envy Anne Boleyn, and envy is often at the roots of hatred.
Cromwell was first and foremost a politician and he would see that I must be received back at Court, which was the safest place for me to be… not for myself so much as for him and the King. He wanted no supporters gathering round me, seeking to right my wrongs.
My father must have realized that it could be dangerous to refuse to bring me back. I was, after all, no longer a child, being twenty years old— old enough to be a figurehead, old enough for those who deplored the break with Rome to rally to me.
It may be that the wily Cromwell persuaded him but the fact was that the Duke of Norfolk and the Earl of Sussex headed a small party who came to visit me. They brought with them a document in which I was referred to as a monster—a daughter who had acted disobediently toward her father. It was only due to the generous and gracious nature of the King that I was still here to ask his forgiveness.
It was difficult for me. I kept thinking of my mother. How could I deny her? She had always been adamant, even though she had believed her enemies were trying to poison her and would possibly use other means to kill her. Always she had stood defiant against them. But Chapuys had shown me my mission.
Even so I could not bring myself to accept the verdict that my mother had never been truly married to my father, that I was bastard and the Pope was not the Vicar of Christ but just another bishop.
I tried to keep that glittering future in mind. I prayed for guidance. If God meant to lead me to my destiny, He would help me.
But I could not do it. I said I would obey my father in all things save his denial of his marriage with my mother and his break with Rome.
They were very angry—in particular Norfolk, who was a violent man and not of very good character, as his Duchess could well confirm. Both he and Sussex were abusive. I was understanding more of people now and I guessed that they were afraid. They would have to go back to the King and tell him that I stood firm on the two very issues which had caused all the contention between us. He would have to face the fact that he had a rebellious daughter and that many of his subjects, who were already murmuring about the state of the Church, would agree with her. I could see that I was a danger and that my father wished to have me back in the fold. He wanted to ride out with me and the new Queen, showing the people that I was his beloved daughter—though illegitimate—and that all was well between us. And these men would have to go back and tell him that they had failed.
Messengers bringing ill news were never popular; and the King's moods were variable and could be terrible. He had changed with the failing of his health. “Bluff King Hal” peeped out only occasionally now and then, when years ago this had been the face his courtiers saw most frequently.
Sussex shouted at me, “Can it be that you are the King's daughter? I cannot believe this to be so. You are the most obstinate woman I ever knew. Surely no child of the King could be as wayward … as stubborn… and as foolish as you are.”
I looked at him sardonically. He might have known that what he called my stubbornness had been inherited directly from my father.
Norfolk was even more explicit.
“If you were my daughter, I should beat you.”
“I am sure you would attempt to, my lord,” I replied. “I believe your conduct toward your wife, simply because she objected to your mistresses, has been especially brutal.”
His eyes narrowed and his face was scarlet. “I would beat you … to death,” he muttered.
“I am of the opinion that, if you attempted to do so, the people in the streets would set upon you and you would suffer a worse fate.”
He knew there was truth in my words and he shouted, “I would dash your head against the wall until it was as soft as a baked apple!”
“Threats worthy of you, my lord. And they affect me not at all. You would not dare lay a hand on me. And I should be glad if you would remember to whom you speak.”
Lady Shelton had complained of my regal manners, so I suppose I possessed them; and now, with Chapuys' prophecy before me, perhaps they were even more apparent.
They slunk away, those irate commissioners, like dogs with their tails between their legs.
* * *
CHAPUYS CAME TO see me.
He was very grave, although there was a hint of amusement in his gravity.
“The commissioners were ill received when they returned to the King. He is convinced that you are in touch with the rebels. There is a party forming in the North and murmurings throughout the country. Your name is often mentioned. The King is most uneasy. But you have seen how obstinate he is… and we must get you to Court. I fear he may take some drastic action against you on the spur of the moment. Do not forget, he is allpowerful in this country. Now that he has broken with Rome, the Church has no hold on him. Who would have believed this possible?”
“But we shall come back one day.”
“I beg of you, do not speak of it now.”
“But that is our eventual aim.”
“To be put away until the time is ripe. It is something to think about but never to be spoken of. If it were…your life would not be worth much. Remember. The Church relies on you. Your day will come. And until it does we must play this game as deviously as is demanded.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you cannot stay in exile. We have to do anything… simply anything…to get you to Court. Cromwell goes in fear of his life because he first told the King that you would be ready to bow to his will. The King is in such a mood of anger that no one is safe. But this is good, for it shows the extent of his uneasiness. Queen Jane pleads for you with the King. She is simple and clearly does not know the man she has married. She was heard to say that it was natural that you should defend your mother and she thought it was a noble thing to do. She was abruptly told not to meddle in matters beyond her powers of understanding and to remember that her predecessor meddled and what happened to her. It is the first time the King has been heard talking to her thus, and it shows how anxious he is.”
“Then we should be pleased.”
“Not entirely. He is capable of drastic action when aroused to anger, and his anger has its roots in uncertainty. Those about the King, including Cromwell, have to act regarding you. They are preparing a document. It is headed ‘The Lady Mary's Submission.' In it will be set down all that the King will require you to agree to.”
“That will include…”
He nodded. “Your agreement that your parents were never legally married, that you are illegitimate and accept the King, your father, as Head of the Church in England.”
“I will never do it.”
“Have you thought of the alternative?”
“What do you mean?”
“You forget that Bishop Fisher and Sir Thomas More lost their heads because they would not sign the Oath? You are doing the same.”
“You mean that I should lose my head?”
“I mean that you could be tried for treason… and the punishment for treason is death.”
“My father would not dare.”
“He has dared a great deal. He fears a rising in your favor. But he is the most powerful man in the country. He could p
ut down a revolt, and then what would happen to the Princess Mary? What of the plans for the future of England?”
I said, “What must I do?”
“There is only one thing you can do. You sign.”
“Deny my mother's marriage! Deny Holy Church!”
“There could be a papal absolution which would relieve you from the sin of perjury,” said Chapuys.
“The Emperor and the Pope will know the reason why you signed. I advise you to do it. This is the only way. If you do not, I would not give much hope for the chances of your survival.”
“I would not do it for the fear of what would happen to me.”
“I am aware of that, as you are of your destiny. It would be folly now to refuse to sign.”
I knew he was right, but I had to quieten my conscience. My mother would understand. Those who cared for me, who knew that I had a duty to perform… they would all understand why I had to sign.
So, with a firm hand and a strong purpose in my heart, I put my name to the document.
* * *
NOW THAT I HAD given way, my life changed. I was treated with the respect due to the King's daughter—though not a legitimate one. I enjoyed more freedom than I had known for years. I was no longer treated with suspicion. I could write to whom I pleased and receive visitors.
I was still grappling with my conscience. I had committed perjury. I had agreed to that which in my heart I abhorred. I prayed constantly. I talked to my mother as though she were with me.
“Understand, please, dear Mother. I did this because I believe that in time it will have been proved to be the right action to have taken at this time. They would have tried me for treason if I had refused. They would have trumped up some charge against me. If the King could kill his wife, why not his daughter? Chapuys knew it. I acted on his advice and one day, I swear on all that is sacred to me, that when the opportunity comes I shall bring England back to the Holy Church.”
In the Shadow of the Crown Page 18
