by Sin
I opened my mouth a bit to object to Cedric lying to Rowan about his name when I felt Cedric inside my head again. Do not breathe my name, Mackenzie. It could cost me my life.
The threat of losing him scared me so much that I did as he wished.
“Yes, James, this is Rowan.” It felt awkward using Cedric’s middle name. It felt even worse lying to Rowan.
Rowan glanced at me and then did something quite unexpected. He leaned down and kissed me. My body gave way to the pleasure of having him near me. The butterflies in my stomach returned and I knew I’d let him take me right there if he wanted me. Pulling back quickly, Rowan left me standing there with my eyelids droopy and the need for sex coursing through my veins.
He ran the pad of his thumb over my lower lip, toying with me while leveling his bedroom gaze on me. “Mackenzie, did you have sex with James last night?”
Being under the influence of his passionate kiss left me in a state of complete disclosure, and he’d planned it that way, I was sure of it. Thankfully, Cedric and I had not had sex last night. Had Rowan asked me if I’d ever had sex with James and not specified a timeline then I’m sure I would have said “yes”. As it stood I was able to answer “no” with complete honesty.
“No,” I said, kissing his thumb while doing my best to settle my erratic breathing.
Rowan sighed and pulled me close to him. “That is good. I’m not sure I could bear the thought of my soul-mate sharing her body with another man.”
“Soul-mate?” Cedric asked, sounding both shocked and appalled.
I turned my attention to him and had to avert my gaze upon seeing the hurt in his eyes. Rowan stepped forward and stared at Cedric. I felt Cedric in my head again.
Are you still able to perform glamour? he asked.
Glamour was another way of saying faerie magik, and was often used when referring to one Fae using magik of deception against another. I had always been good at it. I nodded.
Good, make my scar disappear.
I did what he asked of me with little to no effort. All I had really done was make it impossible to see. His scar would always be there. I had just hid it from the eyes of others. Rowan moved closer to Cedric, seeming to size him up. He nodded--apparently satisfied that he didn’t know Cedric. This made me feel relieved and I wasn’t even sure why.
Rowan stroked my cheek. “We should get you back to your mother. She is worried sick over your well-being.”
The thought of my mother worrying about anyone other than herself was amusing. She never shed a single tear the day that the news of my father’s death reached us. He had been on the battlefield during one of the many fights between the Courts and never returned. My mother never so much as lit a candle for him, let alone cried. I, however, had spent a month locked away in my room. Cedric had been the one to help me through it. Without him, I wasn’t sure I could have made it.
Rowan took my hand in his and led me over to my now dry dress. He handed it to me and watching Cedric with a hefty dose of skepticism in his brown gaze. “Let’s be on our way. I want to get you home before your mother sends out another regiment of guards to find you.”
I pulled my dress over my head and stared into Rowan’s brown eyes. “Actually, I was thinking that I would not be going home.”
Both Cedric and Rowan’s mouth’s dropped open. It was Rowan who finally managed to find his voice. “What do you mean?”
I shrugged, no longer caring what my mother thought of me. “I have no intention on marrying Prince Elwyn and my mother is hell bent on it, so I see no reason to return home.”
It was Cedric who made an odd sound. He kept his gaze guarded from me, focusing on the ground as I stared at him. Regardless how much he refused to look me in the eyes, he couldn’t hide his feelings from me.
“James, have you ever had the honor of meeting the Prince?” Rowan asked.
Cedric’s eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened. I knew him well enough to know he fought the urge to speak back to Rowan. I’d seen him make the same exact face to his father on more than one occasion. I searched his face for a sign it was okay to end this charade. I found none. “No, I can’t say I’ve ever had the honor of meeting Prince Elwyn. I have heard many things about him.”
Rowan tilted his head to the side and gave Cedric a smug smile. I knew that he tried to judge Cedric’s character. It was something most faerie men did upon meeting another. In many ways, they were sizing the other up both physically and mentally.
This was madness and needed to end.
“Yes, I do say…I will not marry this Prince. I don’t care what comes of this. I will send word back to the Unblessed Court of my change of heart. They will no doubt find me in breach of contract. I don’t remember a death clause. I fear that another war may break out, but it is a risk I must take. I’ll say it again. I refuse to marry that monster.”
Rowan balked. “That’s absurd. I have told you the Prince is not the monster he’s portrayed to be. Even if he was, where is it you plan on going?”
I hadn’t really given where I’d be going much thought. The first thing I blurted out caught me off guard as well. “To the human realm.”
Cedric and Rowan’s jaws dropped, each looking as if a feather would indeed knock them over. It was unheard of for a faerie to go willingly to live among humans. Few had done it over the years and they had become the stuff of children stories, talked about in ways that would steer any youth from being foolish enough to go as well.
Humans had spent centuries blaming us for their mishaps when in reality we had nothing at all to do with them. We never stole their children and replaced them with changelings. What on earth would we want with a human child? They took years to grow up, possessed no magikal abilities and had a life expectancy of only around seventy-five years.
Our pets lasted longer than that.
No, we really had no use for them. As for mischief-causing faeries, they did exist, but were distant cousins to us. We would never bother with causing mayhem amongst the humans. To most faeries, humans were disgusting creatures who continued to threaten the delicate balance of nature that we’d created. To me, humans were magnificent creatures I longed to learn more about. Cedric had lived among them for several months during his training. It was required that certain levels of the royal guards be trained in all warfare. This often left a select few to go and train with the human military.
Glancing at Cedric, I winked. “James is one of my personal guards. He shall accompany me on my journey. It is his job to see to it I’m cared for.”
Rowan smiled, but it appeared anything but friendly. “So, tell me James, if my soul-mate decides to live among the humans can I trust you to accompany her and keep her safe?”
“You won’t try to stop me?” I asked, surprised by Rowan’s decision to let me go.
Rowan laughed from the gut. “Oh, I think that would be dangerous, considering the last time we parted you left me dazed and unconscious for the greater part of the afternoon.”
Cedric snorted. I ignored him and focused my attentions on Rowan. There was something he wasn’t telling me and I was sure Cedric knew what it was. I wanted to demand answers to the questions I had, but common sense prevailed and I simply gave a slight bow. Rowan caught my arm in his hand and spun me around to him.
“Kiss me before you go and promise to let me know of your whereabouts once you are settled.”
He gave me no time to think about his seemingly simple request. His warm lips pressed against mine and stole my question. I closed my eyes and got lost in the moment with him. His love for me was clear and I had thought prior to finding Cedric was still alive that mine was too.
Chapter Six
Four Weeks Later…
“What do you mean? How does it work?” I asked, most curious about the large square object that Cedric put the food on.
Laughing, he pulled me to him and wrapped his arm around my waist. “It cooks the food. You place these pots,” he motioned to the object on
the counter top and then back at the stove, “on it and turn it on. Fire comes up and warms the bottom of the pot to cook the food properly.”
I scrambled to think of how food preparation worked at the Blessed Court but I came up empty. I truly had never seen anyone preparing my meals before. Plates of food just materialized when I was hungry and vanished when I’d had my fill. The fact that I was truly a pampered brat had been sinking in more and more over the last couple of weeks.
Cedric knew all the tips and tricks for surviving amongst humans. He knew about their currency, their customs and most of all how to blend in. It was easy for him to come up with money for us to secure a place to stay. The cabin wasn’t very big, and was fairly remote, but it did the trick. It also kept me away from the Prince and was somewhere my mother would never think to look for me.
I let Cedric finish with the food preparations. Okay, he’d all but insisted. I think he was afraid I’d burn the cabin down. Glancing around the one room log home, I smiled, never remembering seeing anything sweeter in my life. I could get used to this and most of all I could get used to Cedric being with me.
He’d been putting weight on slowly and the Cedric I knew was emerging slowly. The only difference was, this new version of him seemed a bit worldlier and had a harder edge. A definite air of danger about him. Not that Cedric was weak before, it was just that he came off as a badass now.
The smell of bacon filled the tiny cabin and the growling of my stomach helped to lure my thoughts off Cedric and to food. Cedric stood near the small table, putting food onto plates. He winked and looked so handsome with the light from the window catching the reddish colored highlights he had in his hair that he almost shot my efforts to keep my thoughts clean right in the backside.
As the light from the window shined onto his neck, I sighed. My glamour had held and his scars still weren’t visible. I’d offered to drop it, but Cedric seemed disappointed, so I left it up. It didn’t matter to me if he was scared or not. He was still Cedric regardless of the outside packaging.
I walked over to take my seat. Cedric stopped what he was doing and moved closer to me. Closing my eyes, I tried to prepare myself for the feel of his touch. Hot breath blew on my face. “Mackenzie, don’t shut me out,” he whispered, touching my eyelids softly.
If I looked into his blue eyes I’d give in and make love to him. I couldn’t do that. I’d already made a big enough mess of things and I didn’t need to add to it. Somewhere out there, Rowan was waiting for me to contact him. Each time I prepared to do so, Cedric thought of another reason why it was best to hold back. Sleeping with Cedric couldn’t be the next reason. It was wrong.
Mackenzie….open your eyes. His sexy voice danced around in my head.
“I can’t,” I said, whimpering as I felt my resolve weakening.
“Why?”
“Because I can’t say no to you. I’ve never been able to say no to you, Cedric.”
He let out a small, shaky laugh. “If only that was true.”
His comment made me open my eyes.
“What do you mean?”
He kissed my forehead and nodded. “It’s okay. I understand that you don’t share my feelings. You don’t have to pretend.”
“Pretend to what? Cedric … explain what in the hell you’re talking about.”
His large hands cupped my face gently. “Mackenzie, I thought you knew…I mean your mother told me that you said yourself you didn’t love me. That’s why she didn’t allow me to marry you before I left…. I tried, I even had my father try … still she said no, and when I heard you’d told her you’d never be caught dead marrying a guard—“
My stomach lurched and my head fogged. Cedric circled his arms around me to keep me from falling as his words tried and failed to sink in. “What? Are you saying you wanted to marry me?”
He rubbed my upper arms and put his forehead down onto mine. The movement, while innocent, was extremely intimate in my opinion. It symbolized trust, friendship and in our case, love. “Yes, I’ve loved you since we were seven. I wanted to make you mine and to know you were spoken for, so no other would try to have his way with you while I was gone.”
I drew in his scent and struggled to keep my emotions in check. Cedric didn’t make it easy for me as he planted a kiss to my forehead and cupped my cheeks. “You didn’t know that your mother said….”
I cut him off. “My mother is a sadistic bitch. I went to her too, before you left and asked for permission to mate with you. She laughed in my face, telling me that I was a fool, that you didn’t love me and that you’d spent the last days before your departure bedding the chambermaids.”
As his blue eyes hardened, I reached up and brushed my fingers through his long hair. “Don’t Cedric. Don’t let her win now. We’re here and we’re together, that’s all that matters.” I brought my lips to his and he stiffened under the weight of my touch, his anger growing by the second. I pulled away from him. “Talk to me.”
“Make love to me,” he countered, biting my lower lip and tugging gently as he remained bent down slightly before me.
The drive to give in, surrender myself completely was almost overpowering. I couldn’t. Not yet. The secrets I knew Cedric was keeping from me could change everything. “Tell me what’s going on with you and Rowan. Tell me why every time I bring up contacting him, you think of a new reason why I shouldn’t. And I want the truth this time, Cedric. I know it’s not solely because you’re jealous I was with him. That I care for him.”
Cedric let out a wicked laugh.
“What’s so funny? Tell me about you and Rowan!”
“I think you mean me and Elwyn Rowan Lockland.”
“You mean Prince Elwyn … Rowan is….” I couldn’t even bring myself to say it out loud. How could my beautiful Rowan be that evil man? Bringing a hand to my mouth, I swallowed hard, hoping to keep the acid building in my stomach down. “Oh gods, that’s why he spent so much time defending the Prince when I spoke ill of him.”
Instantly, my mind raced to the magik we’d shared and how he’d woken my womb to accept his seed. Something moved over Cedric’s face as he grabbed me to him. “What aren’t you telling me, Mack?”
Ashamed, I averted my gaze. I couldn’t hurt him anymore. “I didn’t know, Cedric…. I swear that I didn’t know.”
He shook me and I didn’t bother to struggle. “Dammit, Mack. You didn’t know? What does that mean? What happened?”
I felt the blood draining from my face as I dug my fingernails into Cedric’s arms to remain upright. “He… he shared his magik with me… during sex.”
The roar that Cedric let out left me trembling beneath his touch. Tipping his head back, he let out another agonized cry this time wrenching my gut along with my heart. “No! Mack. No!”
Tears welled as I stared up at the stricken look upon Cedric’s face. My warrior stood there, shaking his head as a lone tear slid down his cheek. “No. Tell me you’re not serious. Mack, this means that he could father a child with you … oh, gods, you didn’t did you…? You’re not with…?” He panted, seeming to choke on his own words.
Grabbing the sides of his face, I directed his attention at me. “Cedric, no. I’m not with child. Please forgive me. I thought you were dead and I didn’t know who he really was. I would have never…”
“Shhh,” he whispered, kissing my lips and silencing me. “It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known. Your mother was playing us all for fools. We were pawns in her game, Mack.” His eyelids swept down as he let out a deep, haggard breath. “I should have guessed something was going on when I was taken before the prince and all he wanted to know was about you. He didn’t seem interested at all in the Blessed Court’s plan of attack. He only wanted to know about you and when I refused to tell him he slit my throat. He waited as I bled to the brink of death then he mind-raped me.” Cedric tried to pull away but I refused to let him. “He put his hands on my head and leeched out the memories of you.”
My s
tomach churned and my face flushed. I had to turn away from Cedric for a moment to be able to breathe. Rowan had been the one who did those horrible things to Cedric? He’d been the one to leave Cedric scarred both mentally and physically? How could he be so cruel when he’d been so loving to me?”
We’d formed a bond, a union, and I would never be able to resist Rowan’s advances because of it. My body would crave his touch and I would die without it. After only a moment’s reflection, I knew what had to be done. “He must die.”
Cedric’s eyes filled with tears. In all the years I’d known him, I’d never once seen him cry before this day. “Mackenzie, if I was to kill him now then you would perish within a few short months of his death. As much as I dreamed of the day I’d get to see him take his last breath, I can’t do it. Not now. I can’t lose you.”
“Then I’ll do it,” I said, turning and heading towards the door. Cedric grabbed my arm and spun me around, capturing my mouth with his. He pushed his tongue in and moved his hands up and under my dress. He caressed my slit, teasing me, promising so much that I more than knew he could deliver. I wanted him to touch me more, but he stopped and looked at me.
“I think if what you say is true, and you love me still--even just a little--we might be able to overcome his magik in you.”
Moving my hand to his bare stomach, I couldn’t help but remember days of old when I’d touch him often as I tugged on the waistband of his pants. The glamour I’d been using to mask what Cedric viewed as imperfections dropped at my will and I watched as Cedric’s scars reappeared. He tried to pull away from me, but I held tight to him and leaned up and licked along the jagged scar on his neck.
His entire body set. “Mack, no.”
The idea of stopping never occurred to me. Ignoring his request, I continued onwards, licking and nibbling as I made my way to his chin and then tugged lightly on his bottom lip with my teeth. “Cedric James McKinney, I’ve never stopped loving you.”
