“I’m so sorry, Cindy.”
“What for?”
“For leaving you alone. I should have gone with you. That was shitty of me.”
“Yep. Bitch.”
She looked up, ready to snap back with a matching insult. The words died on her tongue. “I deserved that.”
“Yes, but I get it. Your relationship is hard, too.”
“You sure you’re okay?”
Cindy spread her hands. “No assault charges. Minimal hangover. Fucking sexy copper waiting in my bedroom. Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Good.”
“You will be too, Kaz.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“Then take your own advice. Call Dan. Talk to him.”
Karen thought back to all those missed calls and voice mails. “I don’t know if I can.”
“You have to. Suck it up. Be honest and tell him how you feel.”
“I have.”
“Not about his mum, about how you feel. It’s not the same. He already knows you don’t like her. But have you told him that what she says makes you feel insecure?”
“I’m not insecure.”
“Bullshit. We’ve been friends too long; don’t lie to me as well as yourself. You feel insecure. You may like playing with other girls occasionally but you hate this Slave Library. You’re worried he’s doing it because he also thinks you’re not good enough. Worse still, you don’t know where the relationship is going. Is it just D/s fun to him or is there more? You want more.”
No matter how hard she tried, Karen couldn’t think of a decent response. She pressed her lips together. “I love him so much.” She lost the battle to keep her lower lip from wobbling. “I know it’s not been that long, not like you and Sam, but I do. I can see us together years from now. He’s perfect.”
Tears gathered in her eyes. She blinked them away with the palms of her hands. Despite the implications of the word “perfect” Karen couldn’t think of a better one. Of all her past relationships, Dan was the only one who managed to blend kink with vanilla in a way that worked. He understood her need to submit came not from a troubled or abused past, but from a need to relax. To trade off the control she demanded in every other aspect of her life in exchange for pleasure shared.
Love. Such a loaded word, but it made sense here. Nothing else fit the pounding of her heart each time he touched her or the gentle warmth in her belly when he smiled. Or even the giddy flush of pride that suffused her heart every time he introduced her as “my girlfriend.”
Sam stepped deeper into the room and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I know, honey.”
“He can’t even say it. He’s never told me he loves me. I’m ‘important’ to him. He ‘loves our time together’.” The words tasted as bitter as they sounded, heavy with disappointment and frustration.
“He’s a man. They suck at the best of times, but he seems worse.”
“He’s just cautious.”
“No, he’s hurting you. And if he keeps it up, I’ll break his legs. But talk to him first, okay? Sam can’t keep blagging me out of trouble.”
Karen laughed through her tears. Throughout all the drama in her life Karen knew she could depend on Cindy to be vulgar, coarse, and most of all, honest.
“Sure,” she whispered. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Cindy turned toward her room. “Now get out of my house.”
“It’s my house too.”
“I’m using it with my dirty playmate. So get out, unless you’re joining us.”
Karen laughed. “Put some clothes on, you slut.”
“Why? She’ll just tear them off me again.” Cindy walked away, putting a little sway into her hips as she went.
***
At Dan’s front door, Karen took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and knocked.
A few seconds later, the door opened.
“Kaz. Thank God, you—why didn’t you use your key?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“Me too.”
Heart thudding a little harder at those two simple words, she allowed Dan to guide her over the threshold. Sweaty palms. She wiped them on her jeans and declined the offer of tea. Instead she sat on the edge of the sofa and put her hands in her lap.
Dan sat opposite her on the single seat. “I called you.”
“I know.
“I left messages.”
“I know.” Guilt dropped her voice to a low whisper.
“You could have—why didn’t you—” He rubbed his face. Something about his voice sounded rough and grainy, like sandpaper. His stained dressing gown hung loose off one shoulder and a tuft of dark hair stuck up from the side of his head.
“You look like shit,” she murmured.
“I feel like shit. You scared me. I thought that was it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“All those calls. Why didn’t you answer?”
“I don’t know. I was angry. I didn’t know what to say.” She stared at her shoes.
“Karen, you can’t do that to me. You can’t just—damn it.”
“You were drunk. There’s no way we could have had a sensible conversation.”
“I was fine after I threw up in the sink.”
“The sink?” She wrinkled her nose. “Gross Dan.”
He shrugged. “I cleaned it.”
“Still gross.”
“I know. And I know what a pain my mum is. I shouldn’t have brought her here. And I shouldn’t have left you in that cage. I fucked up a lot yesterday.”
“Damn right.” Karen nodded and watched his face, searching his features for signs of backtracking. There were none.
Her resolve strengthened as she realized that he really meant it. Surely if he understood why, the rest of the conversation would be easy.
“I’m sorry, okay?”
She stared at him, waiting for more. Needing more.
“It wasn’t fair. I didn’t think about how it would make you feel, I just panicked—” he broke off. Pursed his lips. “I need to stop letting Mum get to me like that. Especially if it makes you feel less than wanted. I don’t want that. I’ve never wanted that.”
Close, but not quite there.
“Okay.” She patted his hand. “But that’s not all we need to talk about.”
“Don’t worry, she won’t be back for a while. She rang her last night and I told her to be happy for me or stay away. She didn’t like it, but that’s her problem, not mine. Or yours.”
Though the interruption irked her, the sentiment brought warmth to Karen’s chest. She nodded. “You were busy last night.”
“You have no idea.”
She eyed the empty box of tissues on the coffee table. “I think I have some idea. From your messages...”
“Can we forget the messages? I’m still trying to say something.”
“I am too. We still need to talk about yesterday.”
“Saying what? I fucked up. I’m sorry I put you in such a shitty position. What more is there to say?”
Karen picked at a knot of fabric on the arm of the sofa. She opened her mouth, but no words would come. Thinking of Cindy and the simple way she explained what she needed to do didn’t help. Resolve wavered. Once again she wiped her palms on her jeans. “I don’t know where to start.”
“Then just say anything.”
She took a deep breath. “I want to spend more time with you.”
A huge smile broke out on Dan’s face. “Yeah? That’s perfect.”
“What?”
“I was trying to figure out what to do for you and last night I figured it out. I’ve booked us a holiday. Just you and me.”
The twist made Karen pause. She hesitated, wavering between pleasure and frustration as he missed the point completely. Again.
“What? When? What about work? I’ve got research to do.” She clutched the sides of the sofa. “Why didn’t you check first? I’m at uni next week, I can’t just run off.” Dan’s chuckling only fanned her temper. “Do you kn
ow how much this PhD is costing me? I can’t vanish for a week and screw it up.”
“Who said anything about a week?”
“You said—”
“I said ‘holiday’. You assumed how long.”
Shuffling in her seat, Karen twisted her fingers in her lap. “Fine. How long? And where are we going?”
“Sugar Dust.”
She sat bolt upright. “What?”
“You heard.”
“Say it again. I need to hear it again.”
“Sugar Dust, licensed fetish club and themed hotel for adults of an adventurous nature.” Dan’s smile widened. He puffed out his chest and flicked imaginary fluff off his shoulders. “I booked it this morning. Two nights, from tonight.”
“For real?”
“Yep.”
Karen squealed. All thoughts of the conversation carefully planned on the drive over, disappeared. She leapt to her feet. Whirled in a tight circle. “Sugar Dust! We’re going to Sugar Dust!”
A leap took her across the room to land in Dan’s lap. Grabbing his face with both hands she rained kisses on him. “How? I thought they were booked for months. This is incredible.”
“I’m glad you’re happy, Kaz.”
She grinned, staring deep into the large brown pools of his eyes. She bit her lip. “Sugar Dust, I’ve always wanted to go, but I have to tell you something first.”
Dan leaned forward and nipped her bottom lip. “How grateful you are? How pleased? How horny?”
“Yes, but—”
“Why don’t you show me?” He ran his hands down her shoulders, cupping her breasts briefly before running his hands over her ribs and down to her hips. Grip tight and just shy of painful, he held her in place while tilting his hips into hers. Still grinning, he nibbled her bottom lip again then slid his lips down the side of her throat. The hot press of his mouth and the flick of his tongue made her groan. She wanted to wait, to push him away and keep talking, but already the details were hazy. He licked a wet path down the side of her throat, teasing the site of last night’s bite.
“I’ve already packed,” he whispered against her throat.
“Really?” A pleasurable jolt shivered over her skin, gathering in her stomach where a tingling sensation billowed out and sank downward. “What did you pack?” Though she made her voice as neutral as possible, she couldn’t quite keep the smile off her lips. A smile that grew wider when Dan next spoke.
“Sugar Dust is a special place. You need special clothes.”
“You’ll only have them off me as soon as we arrive.”
“Not straight away. I want to look around first. Show you off.” His grip on her hips grew tighter still, digging in with his fingers until Karen could feel his nails through her clothing.
She struggled to remain upright. “Show me off?”
“It’s a big event. Lots of people. Stalls. Demos. You’ve got to look your best. The dress code for the weekend is fetish.”
“So we’re going into Barbie Mode?”
Dan frowned. “I didn’t know you called it that.”
She shrugged.
“Yes, Barbie Mode. I like dressing you. It’s one of my favorite parts of having a slave. I choose what she wears.” He leaned closer, filling her field of vision until there was nothing else in the world but the passion in his gaze.
“I choose when she wears it.” His finger traced the side of her face. “When she doesn’t.”
His kiss was slow and deep, the tip of his tongue thrusting into Karen’s mouth with such possessive force that her toes curled.
Beneath her Dan became Dan “The Dom” again and the change melted every last shred of resistance left. It left her gasping, yearning, desperate for the whip-crack snap of command in his voice.
It was so much easier to be told want to do. To simply say and do as ordered. No need to think, just be.
Karen had to lick her lips twice before she could speak again. “What did you pack?”
“I thought you might enjoy some pet play, so ears and collar.”
“Tail too?”
“Oh, yes.”
Her ass clenched in response. She bounced up and down on his lap.
“I also packed two corsets, the purple one and the leather one.”
With great effort, Karen yanked her thoughts back from the fantasy already forming in her mind. She slithered off Dan’s lap and took a step back. As the distance between them grew, so did the clarity in her mind.
“Great, but we still need to talk. I haven’t finished telling you what I decided last night.”
“Sure, tell me anything you need to, but I want you to wear this.”
Dan crossed to the sofa and leaned over the arm. When he straightened, he held a thick, silver bullet with a cord dangling from one rounded end.
“Dan...” More heat flushed through Karen’s body.
He cleared his throat. “Who?”
“Master,” she ground her thighs together and shuddered. “Please, no.”
“Yes.”
“You know I can’t concentrate while wearing that thing.”
His gleeful expression said he knew full well. He held it out without saying a word.
Karen took the bullet. Her lips twitched, but the part of her mind able to resist the order had already stepped aside. Karen saw the gleam in Dan’s eyes and the quiet expectation that came from his dominant self. He wasn’t asking, he was telling, and that, more than anything else, spoke to parts of Karen’s anatomy that quickly wrested control from her rational head. Even his voice changed and plucked the strings of submission within her as surely as a musician manipulates a violin. She became a tool, just like a musical instrument, ready to be pulled, stroked, and plucked at a moment’s notice.
“Now?” she whispered.
“Right now and until we get to Sugar Dust.”
She glanced at the wall clock. “It’s barely midday.”
He raised an eyebrow at her.
“But your mum—”
“What about her?” Dan “The Dom” wavered. “I don’t want to talk about her right now. This is about us. Just us. You wear that bullet and we’ll talk. You can even do some uni work.”
Karen bit her lip.
“Come on. Just open your legs. Slip it in. Remember last time? I kept you on the edge for a whole hour. Quivering. Begging. Creaming all over my hands. Fucking beautiful. Remember?” Dan “The Dom” snapped back into place and held firm. He shoved a hand down the front of his waistband in a deliberate provocative display. As his fingers worked, his breathing hitched, and Karen realized then that he was copying her.
“You were hogtied while I sucked your beautiful tits and whipped your fantastic ass. You exploded afterwards,” he added, still grinning. “On the sheets. The pillow. My face. Never took you for a squirter, Kaz.”
The memory made her squirm. More shivers rippled over her skin until she could almost feel the ropes about her wrists and ankles once more. “I’m sorry, Sir.”
“No, it was good. I want to see you do it again. You taste amazing.”
Still gnawing her lip, she plucked the bullet from his hands and unfastened her jeans. She let them fall, stepped free, and pulled the front of her panties forward.
“Slow down, Kaz. I want to help.” He took it back. “Arms up, please. And stand near the wall.”
“Dan—Sir—”
“Now.”
The bite in his voice acted like a cattle prod. Karen snapped to attention and, never once breaking eye contact, she lifted her hands and linked them behind her head, backing toward the hallway wall.
“Good girl.”
The praise brought a grin to her lips, and she tilted her hips toward him as he traced one finger over the top of her underwear. She watched him bend down, lifting her vest just high enough to tongue her belly button on the way. The hot moisture of his tongue traveled down, leaving a wet trail in its wake. She shivered, locked her knees and pressed her hips forward, to invite the touch of hi
s strong, confident hands. Slow, teasing, he tucked his fingers into the waistband and pulled them down. Karen felt the fabric catch on her backside before sliding down as far as her knees.
“Open.” His voice cracked like a whip, making her jump, just like she might beneath the lash of physical one.
Awareness of every extremity made her lightheaded. The tip of each finger, the end of every toe, each inch of skin buzzing, prickling, tickling beneath the intensity of his gaze.
At once she spread her legs, wide enough to stretch the panties between her knees and hold them there.
“Very good.” Dan crouched in front of her, bullet still clasped in one hand. His gaze traveled over her exposed pussy, so intense she could almost feel it. “Wet already? Naughty girl.”
“It’s your fault.”
“Is it?” He touched her thigh with the tip of his finger and traced a path that felt very much like his name. The contact made muscles low in her stomach clench.
“You say that like you don’t enjoy it.” The finger stroked higher, stopping an agonizing inch away from the curls of dark pubic hair. “Should I stop?”
The answer was yes, she knew that, but as his finger stroked slow circles on her inner thigh Karen could no longer remember why. “No.”
“Pardon?”
“No, Sir.”
“Okay then.” The finger pushed up, sliding past her outer lips with no effort at all and sinking into Karen’s body as far as the second knuckle.
She grunted, steadied her knees, and took several deep breaths. His calm possession of her body rubbed clean the frustration of moments ago. The anger of the night before. If only he could touch her like this all the time, lay claim to her body with a whispered word, a gesture, a glance. It invigorated her and gave her something that no other part of her life allowed: absolute freedom.
“Karen,” Dan’s voice became business like. “I’m going to stick this bullet in your deliciously, sopping wet pussy now. I’m going to leave it there, buzzing away, working you up, teasing you, until we get to Sugar Dust. You aren’t going to touch it. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Good girl.” He removed his finger and replaced it with the bullet.
The cold, smooth metal slipped inside with ease. Karen took a second to adjust to the intrusion then clamped her inner muscles around it. She sighed. “Thank you, Sir.”
Sugar Dust Page 8
