“Miss Stevens!” My eyes focussed on the English book in front of me as I heard my name called in an exasperated tone; I shook my head trying to clear the images now coursing through my mind.
“Yes?” I cleared my throat and glanced around nervously, taking in that the whole class was staring at me.
“Oh, you are with us after all.” She glared at me over the rim of her dark framed glasses.
“Yes Miss”
Shit! I hadn’t realised the English teacher, Mrs Hastings, had come in and had started taking the register. According to Lily, she had said my name four times before I looked up, my cheeks burned bright as Lily gave me a knowing smile.
I tried my best to listen during class and take notes. Next to Art, English was probably my easiest subject, I loved to read and could easily spend an entire day lost inside the world of a good book; it was just so hard to focus once those thoughts were in my head about him. Second period wasn’t much better as I had Biology. I was in knots by the time lunch had arrived and I was glad to get outside so I could just sit for a while with Lily, Violet and Megan and think about something other than leaving in a few weeks.
It was a beautiful day so we sat where most of the sixth-formers hung around; we all got to talking about how Lily was getting on with Scott, how long had she liked him before Megan managed to turn the conversation around to her as she always seemed to do.
I stopped listening when I saw Mr Matthews stepping out of the dinner hall with five high-school girls following his tail, shoving each other towards him and giggling. I groaned out loud halting the flow of conversation.
“Are we bothering you, Olivia?” Megan’s high pitched, nasal and annoying voice trilled in my ears. I realised I’d interrupted yet another one of her stories about daddy taking her shopping at the weekend. She was the Mayor of London’s daughter (her interpretation – her daddy owned London) and she had him wrapped tightly around her little finger. We weren’t really friends, she annoyed the hell out of me the majority of the time, but she has been Violet’s best friend ever since junior school so she says she can’t just abandon her, she’d feel too bad about it. I put up with her for the sake of Violet; Megan probably felt the same towards me. Not that I cared for Megan’s opinion; we seemed to spend most of our time ignoring or avoiding each other.
She looked down on me, with her eyes so grey that they could have been forged from steel and threatened to slice through me like a sword. I could feel them hacking at my neck trying to take my head clean off as she glanced at my throat. I wasn’t anyone special in her opinion so I didn’t deserve to be at the school. As far as she could see I was just the daughter of a surgeon and a nurse, an ordinary girl in a school for England’s elite.
“Umm, no. I just remembered something I was meant to do this morning.” I shrugged and gave her a small smile that didn’t reach my eyes. I hope she noticed that. She did – huffing and leaping right back into the conversation making sure it all revolved around her; I tuned her out again and focused my attention back on Mr Matthews as he walked across the school grounds, watching him from behind the curtain of my hair so I could avert my eyes easily if he looked over.
He beckoned another teacher that he wanted to talk to, the girls around him automatically disbanded; shaking his head he laughed as they left. He talked to Mr Morris, the boy’s PE teacher and his best friend, for a few minutes before he carried on making his way over to the door situated behind us. I shifted to sit side on to the girls, leaning against a tree so I had a perfect view of his entire walk without even moving my head. As he got closer though I couldn’t help but look straight at him, how was it possible to make just walking from A to B look sexy as sin?
Every time I looked at him it made my heart beat faster, heat flooded through my cheeks, my breathing became shallow and I had to press my legs together with the warm heat pooling at my centre from just looking at him. I had to try hard to swallow past the sudden dryness in my throat. It wasn’t fair.
I hated being in this stupid school, I should have left at the end of high-school and chosen to go to a sixth-form somewhere else, but my education was already paid for. I doubt I would have gone anywhere else even if I had the mind to anyway, the prospect of spending another 2 years being near him persuaded me to stay; no matter how tortured it made me feel inside.
I could never actually be with Jamie Matthews so what was the point having those feelings? I slumped further down against the tree feeling pathetic. I’d never had a proper boyfriend because I just couldn’t feel for anyone the way I felt for him. I had all of four boyfriends but none of them could make me feel how I felt when I looked at Mr Matthews. Maybe because he wasn’t available to me is what made me feel that way; I usually closed myself off to guys that wanted to ‘get up close and personal’, it was hard to let them in after everything that happened to me as a child. I shuddered thinking about that.
‘It’s just a stupid crush… It’ll be ok when I leave and get to university’ was my daily mantra to keep me sane. The thing that hurt the most was that I could never tell him how I felt. Pain ripped through my chest as I watched him reading through a pile of papers that were just handed to him. I felt so stupid; I couldn’t look at him anymore.
“I don’t feel too well; I’m going inside to see if registration class is open, I need to sit inside for a while.” I declared as I stood up hugging my arms around myself holding my chest together hoping the pain inside would go away, earning more hatred filled looks from Megan. Urgh… Bitch. I mentally took the salad fork from her hand and stabbed her in the eye with it. Repeatedly.
“Do you want us to come and sit with you? There is still half an hour before the bell yet.” Violet asked.
“No I’ll be ok” I managed to force a smile, as I switched my weight from foot to foot as he stepped closer every second. “I’m just getting a headache and feel a bit nauseous. Maybe if I put my head down for half an hour I’ll be ok, see you guys in a little while” I smiled again and grabbed my things, after throwing Megan one last glare that I’d hoped would be enough to strike her down there and then.
I looked between Mr Matthews and the door; if I walked fast I could beat him in so I wouldn’t have to walk with him or follow him down the corridor looking like one of his crazy stalkers. I took off nearly running to get through the door before him and ended up twenty or so feet ahead of him before running up the stairs to get a bit of extra distance from him. I walked as fast as I could down the corridor but I could still hear his footsteps behind me; they sounded a little hurried like my own, his long strides giving him an advantage over my smaller ones.
“Miss Stevens” he called in that stupid sexy, low tone of his, but I forced my gaze to the floor and ignored him. “Olivia?” he called to me again. I groaned internally. What the hell am I doing? Usually I beg for him to stop me to talk to me on my own and it never happens. Why am I running now? I kept my head down and carried on walking towards my class; I heard a door click as his footsteps stopped, he must have gone into the maths office so I could relax and afford a glance back. The corridor was empty and I breathed a sigh of relief.
I reached for the handle to open my classroom door and it was locked, it was never locked. It’s typical that the one occasion I really needed to get in the room, that the door would be locked. Why did it have to be now? When all I wanted to do was hide from the world for half an hour! I kicked it, threw my bag on the floor and leaned my back against the wall sliding down to the floor with my head in my hands. Why can’t it just be easy? I only had two weeks of classes left and then a week of exams and it would all be over, I can do this, can’t I? There is no need to fall apart now. I’d made it through the last six years with a crush on him; three weeks would be no big deal. I began to tell myself I could get through it. “I can do it… I can do it…” I whispered to myself, thumping my fist against my forehead with every word “I can do it… I can do it… Fuck! I can do it! I CAN-” I jumped and yelped when a voice startled me.<
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“Whatever it is you plan on doing I hope it’s A- fun, B- not illegal and C- not too dangerous… But by the psyching up you are giving yourself I’m pretty sure it is B or C.” he chuckled. I never answered him, deciding to think for a minute watching his beautiful smirk fall as he took in my expression. Yup, definitely B. Well as far as school rules went. Can I just blurt it out? No that would be stupid! “Are you ok, Olivia?”
I wanted to scream ‘NO’ at him; I groaned internally again, he was the only person that called me Olivia, apart from my parents when they were pissed at me, I always preferred ‘Liv’ and if anyone dared call me ‘Ollie’ they got hurt. Badly.
The way he said my name made my stomach flip; how he rolled the syllables around his tongue could turn me into a pool of water in an instant. I could feel tears building in my eyes and had to hold in a sob, I felt so torn.
“Umm, I’m- I’m fine” I smiled up at him.
“No you aren’t; what’s the matter?” Concern was all over his face, his brows furrowed while he chewed nervously on the corner of his bottom lip as he studied me; I wanted to leap up to him and kiss him.
“I… I just don’t feel too well that’s all.” I couldn’t look at him and lie, so I looked down burying half of my face into the crook of my elbow.
“Are you lying to me?” he crouched down in front of me balancing on the toes of his perfectly shined shoes, resting his elbows on his knees with his hands clasped together in front of him a few inches away from my knees.
“No” I replied sharply giving away that I was.
“Hmm… Well I know you aren’t ill as you would have ran to the bathroom if you were going to be sick and I saw you talking with your friends not more than five minutes ago, looking completely fine” he looked me all the way down and quickly averted his eyes; just as quickly he stood upright again and cleared his throat.
Realisation dawned on me hard as I remembered how I was sat. I had slumped down the wall to a squat and I forgot to tuck my skirt underneath myself; he’d just caught a glimpse of my underwear. Oh fantastic. I blushed and stood up straightening out the black pleated skirt of my uniform against my legs, he cleared his throat again before looking back at me with his cheeks slightly flushed. What the hell did he have to be embarrassed about?
“So, if you aren’t ill then it’s something to do with me as your face fell as soon as you saw me.” Crap, he noticed that?
Yes it’s you, it’s always you Jamie. “No, it’s not you.” My voice wobbled a little with the lie and a traitor tear rolled down my cheek that I quickly wiped away.
He folded his arms over his chest defensively. “Is it because I gave you detention? Because I couldn’t not with the amount of other teachers around at the time or one of them would have given it you. At least I can go easy and just let you study but they would have probably wasted your time with something meaningless; I know you’ve never caused any trouble before and I wouldn’t have giv-” his rambling on and on made me want to scream for him to shut the hell up.
“It’s not about the stupid detention!” I covered my face with my hands as I shouted at him, wishing I could pull my eyes from the sockets and not look at his beautiful face ever again. I groaned and slowly dragged my hands down my face to see him staring at me with his mouth agape. I’d never so much as given cheek to a teacher, never mind have an irrational outburst at them but I carried on. “I just feel sick, ok? Why does everyone think that everything is about them today?” I slumped back to the floor not caring about what he could or couldn’t see and put my head back in my hands.
“I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean to yell, I just- have a headache; I didn’t sleep too well last night and wanted to put my head down in a quiet room before classes start again. Can you open this door for me?” I looked up at him, getting annoyed that he was still just staring at me. “Or are you just going to stare at me like a zoo animal for the next twenty-five minutes?” He closed his mouth and seemed to think for a moment while scanning the hallway around us which was still empty.
“I can’t open Miss Granger’s door but I can open mine if you want to sit in with me for a while?” he gave me a small smile looking out of his depth. He unlocked his door and held out his hand to help me up. I took it and pulled myself up; the smell of him, aftershave and something citrusy and the feel of his hand on mine was a heady combination, I swooned a little and stumbled right into him.
He caught me with his other hand landing on my waist to steady me, as my face buried into his chest. I looked up and his beautiful green eyes met mine. I’m not sure what I saw there, all I could think right then was how much I wanted him to lean down and kiss me. I swallowed hard as I looked from his eyes to his lips as they parted slightly just inches from my own. I could feel his sharp exhale fan over my face. If I just leaned in slightly…
“I, erm- I’m sorry” I said as I stepped back, looking down away from his gaze. I let go of his hand and he dropped his other hand slowly, almost reluctantly away from my waist, his fingers trailing gently over the fabric of my shirt. I felt his fingers curl against my side almost like they were trying to hold on to me and never let go, but his arms kept pulling them away. “I must have got up too quickly, I’m sorry.” I could feel heat spread over my cheeks.
“No it’s ok, I err… I probably pulled you up too fast, it’s my fault I’m sorry.” He took a step away from me into the corridor and looked around. “You go sit at the desk in front of mine; I’ll be back in just a sec.” He seemed like he couldn’t look at me, he couldn’t even wait to get away from me. I dragged my bag over to the desk in front of Mr Matthews’ and plonked myself in the seat there; I put my head down on my arms, closing my eyes for a minute to give myself time to breath and collect my thoughts. Why did I have to be such a clumsy idiot? Why didn’t I just kiss him? Why didn’t he just kiss me?
“Oh Jesus… Liv… Liv…” I felt a hand stroking my hair away from my face. “Olivia? Come on sweetheart” Jamie?
“What?” I groaned. I heard him chuckle and felt his hand move over my hair again.
“Come on, Liv, you need to wake up, it’s time to go, come on.”
“No, don’t go, don’t leave.” Awareness hit me like a slap in the face and I froze.
“Erm… Liv? I’m right here, come on.” My eyes shot open and I quickly lifted my head from my arms, oh no!
“Umm, I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to fall asleep! What time is it? I better get to registration” I stood up wobbling a little, my head still foggy from my quick nap. I regained my balance, lifted my bag and tried to walk away.
“Liv, it’s gone half three” he looked at me apologetically.
“What?” I looked back at him like he just told me it was raining sheep outside; school finished at three! I looked between him, the wall clock and my watch, positive that one of them must be wrong.
“Err, I went to get you a glass of water to see if it helped you feel better” He motioned towards a glass on the table to show me. “And when I came back you were out of it. Don’t worry, I told Miss Granger and Mr Wilson that you were feeling ill and had fallen asleep and that I couldn’t wake you, so I left you. I’ve just called your dad and told him I’d bring you home when I managed to wake you, he said something about work anyway.” I looked at him shocked. I’d slept through two classes? How?
“Wait… So your registration class, a bunch of first years and my own class just sat through me snoring?” Oh God, I pulled my hands through my curls as I blushed. I didn’t know where to look, he just chuckled at me.
“It’s ok don’t worry, you didn’t snore. Although I’m intrigued as to what you were dreaming about just then.” he smirked at me.
“I don’t remember. Why? What did I say? Oh God please don’t say I said something during class!” I fidgeted nervously, wringing my fingers in my hands and pulling on a lock of hair that had fallen into my grip; I knew I sometimes talked in my sleep, my parents and my Uncle Austin used to tease me about it all the time
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“Nothing; just that you thought I was going if you woke up” how am I supposed to reply to that? I stood for a sec chewing on my lip while I came up with something.
“Sorry for sleeping through your class, what did we do? I’ll catch up at home I promise.” I grabbed a pen from his desk trying to overlook the fact that half asleep, I’d just begged him not to leave me. He shook his head and said that I could catch up the next time. I lifted my bag higher up on my shoulder and headed for the door again. “Right, well, sorry again.” I nodded my good-bye embarrassed as hell that I had fallen asleep in his class.
“Where do you think you are going?” He skipped around me blocking my way to the door.
“Home?” I raised an eyebrow at him, where did he think I’d be going?
“I told your father I’d take you.”
“I can walk, honestly. It’s not far, I’ll be fine.”
“If it’s not far then it won’t be a problem, will it? I go your way home anyway.” He insisted.
“How do you know which way I live?”
“I checked your file for your parents’ numbers and I also sometimes see you in a morning on your way in with Lily or on your way home in the afternoon.” He shrugged at me. I tried to get by him, but he side stepped in my way again with that smirk still plastered on his face.
“You are so annoying! If I agree will it get you out of my way?” He chuckled at me again.
“Of course. So… shall we?” he offered me his elbow twirling his keys around his finger on his other hand. I tutted and shoved by him, elbowing him in his ribs and going to the door, it was locked.
“Can you unlock the door? Why is it even locked?”
Broken Ever After Page 2
