by Rhonda Bowen
She got up and began to get dressed. She needed an explanation. And this time he would tell her the truth.
Chapter 20
“We need to talk. Now.”
Adam looked up from his desk into eyes of fire. Toni was not happy.
But Jerome, who had been on cloud nine all morning, didn’t seem to notice. “Toni, how come you didn’t tell me this would be coming out today?” He was grinning like a candidate for public office as he held up the newspaper. Adam had summoned him after breakfast to show him the article and he had been there ever since.
“Wanted to surprise you, kid,” Toni deadpanned, barely taking her eyes off Adam. “Can I talk to Adam alone for a minute?”
“Yeah, sure,” Jerome said, jumping up and heading through the door with the paper in his hand. “I gotta get ready for a summer class anyway. But you gotta tell me who this Ann Armour is later.”
“Sure,” Toni said with a smile that didn’t move past her lips. It disappeared as soon as she closed the door behind Jerome.
Adam braced himself. “Something wrong, Toni?” he asked, even though he instinctively already knew the answer.
“You lied to me,” Toni said, glaring at him. She hadn’t even bothered to sit.
“When did I—”
“I asked you about your past,” Toni said. “I thought you told me everything.”
Adam blinked as the cold fingers of apprehension began to creep up his spine. “I did tell you everything,” he said.
“Liar,” Toni said. Her face was contorted with anger, but her eyes burned with something else.
Hurt? He had hurt her? He folded his hands in his lap. “I told you everything that you needed to know.”
“You told me there were always gangs where you grew up but you never told me you were involved in one,” Toni snapped. “I had to find that out on my own.”
Adam’s heart began to hammer in his chest. What else had she found out on her own? He clenched his jaw. “It was none of your business,” he said coldly.
He knew he was getting defensive, but he was mad at himself. He should never have let her so close to him. With everything that had happened hidden ten years in the past he had thought that he would be able to forget it when he came to Atlanta. But finding a needle in a haystack was a breeze for Toni. He should have known that she would find out about his mess. The only question was exactly how much she knew.
“And that’s where you’re wrong, Adam. It is my business. Because I was the one who wrote the story about you. So right now, you are my business.
“And so is this.”
His apprehension turned to cold fear as she tossed the folder onto his desk. It landed right on top of everything, demanding his immediate attention.
His hands trembled in his lap as he involuntarily stared down at it.
“Go on,” she taunted, hands on her hips. “Open it.”
Adam felt frozen behind his desk, unable to move even if he wanted to.
“Can’t do it, can you?” she snapped. “Still not man enough to face up to your own mess. Well, let me help you.”
She stepped forward and flipped the file open, forcing Adam to come face to face with the police report he thought had been buried in another state.
“Attempted robbery, breaking and entering, assault, possession of illegal firearms,” she said, running down the charges on the front page. “There was nothing you didn’t do, was there?”
She snorted. “Do the people you work for even know the real extent of your mess?”
Adam had confided in Pastor Reynolds the day he had accepted the offer to work at Jacob’s House. He knew he couldn’t start the first day without letting his boss know about his past. He had mentioned some of the things he had done in Baltimore, and Pastor Reynolds had encouraged him to deal with his wrongs and be open with the boys and with himself about his past. But Adam resisted. Pastor Reynolds had hired him anyway. Adam wasn’t sure why.
But he couldn’t tell Toni that. He couldn’t even look up at her.
“How could you do this?” Her voice dropped as her anger faded to something else that had an even more crushing effect on him. “How could you keep this from me? After I told you everything about me.”
Toni’s words were like a noose around Adam’s heart, being pulled tighter and tighter.
“I thought it was different with us. I thought ...”
She thought what?
That their friendship was more than that? To him it was. That’s why he couldn’t tell her. He suddenly understood why Trey never told Jasmine about how he had left Toni on her own after their parents died. Jasmine would have seen how weak he was. No man wanted to look that weak in front of a woman. Especially one he cared about too much.
“And the boys.” Her anger was back. “How can you look at them every day and tell them to face up to their consequences when you aren’t even facing up to yours?”
She shook her head. “They worship the ground you walk on, Adam. But they don’t even know the real you.”
He knew she was baiting him, waiting for him to say something. Anything. But all his senses had shut down, and he couldn’t even bring himself to look up at her. His worlds were colliding and he didn’t know how to handle it.
He felt her eyes roam over him with disgust, before she shook her head.
“You’re a fraud, Adam Bayne.” Her disdain was so potent it seemed to hang in the air like humidity. “No better than those politicians using Jerome to win a campaign. Instead you’re using him to clear your conscience.”
She left through the door, slamming it hard behind her. But Adam never saw her. His eyes were still on his desk, where his past sat mocking him on photocopied Baltimore Police Department letterhead. He had known he couldn’t hide forever. Despite his best efforts, his past had caught up with him.
He had no choice but to face it head on.
Chapter 21
Toni was freaking out.
She had hoped that talking to Adam would make her feel better. But he had barely said anything. More importantly he hadn’t denied anything. She had hoped for an explanation. He had a lot of brothers. Maybe one of them had committed all those crimes, and not him. Maybe it was a case of mistaken identity.
But her hopes had been for nothing. And now she was in trouble. Big trouble.
She turned her CBR onto Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway and headed in the opposite direction of her apartment. She had to think and she couldn’t do it at home. She felt her cell phone vibrate but ignored it. The last call she had taken had turned her world upside down.
It was almost 8 a.m. She should be getting ready for work. But how could she go to work knowing what she knew? How could she face Naomi? How could she explain why she didn’t know about Adam’s past before now?
Her heart began to beat faster as panic swallowed her. She felt like she was suffocating inside her helmet. She had to talk to someone.
Taking the next exit off the parkway, Toni headed west. When she finally got to her destination, she stumbled off her bike and tugged off her helmet, gasping for air. She would not cry.
She rang the doorbell. When Camille finally opened the door, she burst into tears.
“Dang, girl, what’s wrong with you?” Camille asked, alarm all over her face as she pulled Toni into her arms.
Even though the woman was already dressed in her uniform and looked like she was about to step out, Camille led her inside and into the living room as if she had all the time in the world.
“Girl, what’s the matter, talk to me,” Camille said as she sank into the sofa and Toni buried her head in the woman’s lap.
“It’s a mess.... He might go to prison.... He can’t because I already told him everything.... And Naomi’s gonna kill me when she finds out ... he has all these charges.... I’m probably gonna lose my job... .”
Toni knew she wasn’t making much sense but her world wasn’t making much sense right now either, and she was upset that she was more concerned
about what might happen to Adam than about her job or the stories in the paper.
“Okay, honey, it’s okay,” Camille said, rocking her gently. “It’s going to be okay.”
Toni didn’t believe her.
Then Camille started praying.
“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the almighty... .”
The 91st psalm. Toni remembered that. Her mother used to pray it also. In fact she had made Toni memorize it when she was ten.
“... He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou trust... .”
She tried to focus on Camille’s voice, and not the thoughts that were wreaking havoc on her sanity.
“... for He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands... .”
She began to repeat silently as the words began to come back to her memory like an old song she had forgotten she loved.
When it was over Toni sat up and took a deep breath.
“Adam has open warrants for his arrest in Baltimore.”
Camille could have swallowed a full-size frog the way her mouth fell open.
“I did a story for the AJC about Jerome Douglas and Jacob’s House, and slammed the city for their handling of the case,” Toni continued. “But Adam is a major part of the article. If the people I wrote about decide to defend their actions, all this stuff about Adam might come out. And my boss will probably can me for not knowing this info about Adam beforehand.”
Camille let out a whistle. “Wow. That’s heavy.”
Toni nodded.
“What are you really worried about though?”
Toni looked up at her friend. She should have known Camille would see through her. She shifted her eyes away. “If this all comes out in the open, Adam may end up going to prison.” She managed not to choke on the words, but the tears had sprung to her eyes again.
“It would be my fault,” Toni said, picking at her nails. “He never wanted to do the interview, but I convinced him. He never even wanted me to do the stories in the first place. And now he might go to prison because of me.”
“I know you care about him, honey, and I know you are worried, but you can’t blame yourself for that, T,” Camille said, cutting Toni off. “It sounds like this whole thing is a lot more complicated than just the stories. Don’t blame yourself for this.”
“But—”
“But nothing,” Camille said, shaking her head. “I know the temptation is there to take this on with everything else, but resist it. You can’t help Adam or yourself if you’re suffocating under a whole pile of guilt.”
Toni nodded and bit her lip. “I hear you. But I feel like I have to do something.”
“Like what?”
Toni stood up and began pacing the living room. “I don’t know. I should tell Naomi, my boss. But she is gonna be really mad about this. The AJC will look stupid if someone else publicizes this info and we aren’t prepared to deal with it.
“But I should have known before. And Gordon already has me on watch. This will probably be it for me. I’ll probably get the ax.”
Toni sat down hard. “Camille, what will I do? All I have is my job.”
The pity in Camille’s eyes at her friend’s words made Toni aware of how pathetic that really was. Her whole life was her job. She had nothing else of worth. No real family, no strong relationships, only a spattering of friendships. Her job was her world. If she lost it she would have nothing.
“Your job is not all you have and it’s not all you are,” Camille said. “You are a sister, a daughter, a friend. You are so many things, and your life is worth more than your byline at the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, no matter how good a publication it is.”
But Camille was wrong. Toni didn’t have anything else. That’s why she couldn’t tell Naomi.
“Maybe it will all blow over,” Toni said. “Maybe no one will even notice the stories. I can’t let Naomi know how big I screwed up. If I lose my job ...”
Toni stood up to go. She had made her decision.
“Toni, are you sure about this?” Camille asked, worry and caution in her voice.
“I’m sure,” Toni said, hugging her friend. “Thanks for listening.”
“And what about Adam?” Camille asked as Toni headed to the door.
Toni stopped but didn’t turn around. “What about him?”
“He hurt you by keeping all this from you,” Camille said. “You should tell him that.”
Toni shrugged and pulled out her keys. “He didn’t hurt me.”
But even she knew she was lying. However, she couldn’t think about that right now. She had to get home and get to work.
“Thanks again,” Toni said, opening the front door and letting herself out.
She heard the woman sigh in disappointment. “That’s what friends are for.”
Even though she had decided not to tell Naomi, Toni knew she couldn’t face her yet. So she called in sick and had her assignments e-mailed to her.
There were quite a few. Since she had put in so much time writing the Jacob’s House series, she had fallen behind on the research she needed to do for her regular assignments. At least they would take her mind off her present troubles. Thoughts of Adam and the stories kept popping up in her mind, but she pushed them away and eventually got so wrapped up in her work that she managed to forget.
Then the phone rang.
“What did you say to him?”
“Jerome?” Toni glanced down at the caller ID to confirm that it was who she thought it was.
“This morning, when you came by,” he continued. “You and Bayne got into a fight, didn’t you? I could hear you from the other side of the door. What did you say to him?”
Toni wasn’t liking his tone and the day had already drained all the patience she had in stock. “That’s none of your business,” she said. “You shouldn’t eavesdrop on grown folks.”
“He’s gone, Toni.”
“What?”
“We got back from school this afternoon and some old guy was in his office, said he was the replacement.”
Toni got up from her chair and walked around the living room as she tried to make herself breathe.
“Replacement?”
“Yeah, replacement,” Jerome spat, like it was a dirty word. “He said Bayne would be gone indefinitely. Now he’s got the place on lockdown and none of us can’t go nowhere for no reason. Everything was fine until you came over and started hollerin’ at him this morning, so I wanna know, what did you say?”
Toni needed to process what Jerome was saying logically, but before she could even start she heard banging on her front door.
“Toni ...”
“Jerome, there’s someone at the door,” she said, heading toward her front door, with the phone still attached to her ear.
“If that’s Bayne tell him I wanna talk to him. He can’t just bounce like that without letting a brother know.”
But it wasn’t Adam.
“What’s going on with Adam, Toni?” Trey stormed into the apartment still dressed in his pilot’s uniform.
“Is that Bayne?” Jerome shouted in her ear.
“No.”
Why was everyone asking her for Adam? What was going on?
“Who’s on the phone?” Trey asked. “Is that Adam?”
“No, it’s Jerome... . Look, Jerome, I gotta go. Let me call you back.”
She hung up before he could respond. The phone rang again immediately. It was Jerome. Toni tossed it onto the couch.
“What are you talking about, Trey?” Toni asked, suddenly exhausted.
“He called this morning while I was flying and left a message,” Trey said, pacing the floor. “He said he’s going home to turn himself in. What’s he talking about, Toni? He said you would know.”
“He’s turning himself in?” Toni’s ears began to ring. “Oh God, he can’t.”
She began pacing the
living room again. Adam couldn’t turn himself in. He didn’t deserve to be in jail. And what if he did go to jail? She might never see him again.
Breathe, girl. Breathe.
But she couldn’t. This could not be happening. Not now. Not today.
“Toni!” Trey was trying to get her attention. He had been asking her something but she hadn’t heard it.
He grabbed her shoulders, stopping her midstride, and turned her around to face him. “Why is he turning himself in?”
She went over to her desk and pulled the copy of his record from under a pile of papers and handed it to Trey. Then she sat down on the sofa and buried her face in her hands.
“I just found out this morning,” Toni said quietly after a moment. “I went to see him, and we got in a fight. Now Jerome just told me that there’s a new director at the center and Adam’s gone. He must have gone to Baltimore.”
Trey sat down on the sofa beside her, still staring at the two sheets of paper. He kept switching back and forth from one to the other. Toni understood his disbelief perfectly.
He ran a hand over his head. “Adam had told me he’d been into some bad stuff. But I never knew... .”
Trey shook his head, still memorizing the record.
Adam was going to the police. He was going to give himself up and probably submit to all the charges. They would lock him up immediately, and he would sit in prison until his trial. What would happen to him there, only God alone could know.
Toni couldn’t breathe again.
No.
This was not happening. She wouldn’t let it.
She stood up suddenly and began grabbing her keys and her purse.
“Where are you going?” Trey asked, suspicion lacing his voice.
“To Baltimore.”
“Toni—”
“If he left this morning, then maybe I can catch him before he ruins his life.”
“Are you crazy?” Trey said, jumping up. “It’s Baltimore, Toni, not Buckhead. You can’t just jump on your motorcycle and ride there. That’s an eleven-hour drive.”
