by Leela Ash
He said nothing. Just watched her, a pout ruining his handsome features. When she finally stopped chuckling, he snapped, “Do we have a deal then?”
She wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. “Nope. You haven’t given me any reason to help you.”
“But we’re…!”
“Over. Whatever we had,” she waved her hand vaguely, “is dead. You killed it when you cheated on me.” She couldn’t remember the details, but the longer she talked to him, the more confident she was that he was a philanderer. Time and time again.
“As if those women could ever compare to you,” he snorted. “I will never understand how you could be so petty and jealous.”
That’s because you don’t understand the first thing about love.
Fortunately, she caught herself before that blurted out. Love was a weapon to men like him. A tool they could use to hurt and control women. Damned if she’d admit he’d ever wielded that knife against her.
“I think we’re done here.” She rose to her feet.
“Wait!” Panic touched his words. He might despise the Fangs, she realized, but he feared them, too. “Look, you’ve shed yourself, so you don’t understand what this means. A Wellspring is a portal between the worlds. A living one will let us go home!”
“I don’t remember last Christmas – much less any ‘home.’ And… wait. Did you just say that my true home is on some other planet? You think I’m an alien?”
“Not another planet, another… oh, dammit!” he snapped. “Go recover your memories. I don’t have time for this!”
“So are we aliens or not?”
“No! Adanai. We’re more like elves or fairies.”
“I’m a fairy.” Tess stared at him in open disbelief. Somehow, fairies were harder to accept than Were-Dragons. “I think I liked being an alien better.”
“They’re just words, and none of them are exactly true. And it doesn’t matter, anyway! All you need to know is that the Wellsprings are the portals to our true home. The place we belong!” As he grew desperate, a grating whine entered his voice. Like the sound of a junkie begging for his next fix.
“Don’t remember the place. Don’t care about it.”
“Liar!” he hissed. “You wouldn’t Shed your past constantly if you were happy here.”
Tess hesitated. Some part of her knew she ought to keep walking. Dick was a liar. Nothing he said was trustworthy. Yet that statement hit perilously close to the question that had nagged her since she woke up on that island in the woods.
Why did I do this? Why do I keep doing this?
He spotted her weakness immediately and pounced on it. “Can you tell me that you’re happy now? Do you ever recall being happy?”
Well, no. Surely, though, she’d been happy at some point?
But, if so, why would she dump the memory of that joy into a stone? Had she truly never been happy in all her life?
Dick’s voice, slick and greasy, wormed its way into her doubts. “You know I’m right. There’s no true pleasure in this world. Oh, there’s food and drink and drugs and sex. None of it lasts, though. It fades, blurs together. Once the novelty passes, those things – all of them – fade into grey. It stops satisfying. And you need more every day. Bigger thrills. Stronger drugs. Another man. It never ends, because it’s all empty. Meaningless.”
A deep gloom rose inside her, summoned by his words. They felt true. Right. Life and all its ‘wonders’ had disappointed her.
Still, she shook her head, fighting to dispel that shadow. “If this world sucks so much, why did you and I come here?”
His laugh was bitter and mocking. “We were idiots. Oh, I won’t sugar-coat it. We screwed up. We listened to the lesser Kind babble about ‘love’ and what a wonder it was. Hah!”
So she’d come here seeking love? How had that worked out? Sadly, she recalled those twelve stones, each one a sign of some tragic failure.
“Once we got here, we learned the truth. Love is a myth. It’s weak, fake, and shallow. An illusion that shatters at the first touch of misfortune.” Dick glowered at his wine, but didn’t touch it. “Unfortunately, by the time we learned this, it was too late. The Wellsprings were drying up. The doors closed, and we were locked outside. Here, in this filth.” His disapproving stare scanned across the bar, silently condemning every stale, dirty detail.
Weary despair settled over her as some part of her soul nodded in agreement with the man’s rant. Yet, at that darkest moment, a light rose from her memory.
Darian. Draped in silk. Holding her. Offering her the comfort of his body when she needed a shoulder to hide against.
Was that love? Maybe not. Tess didn’t think she was a good judge of that, given how many times she’d Shed her exes. But whatever it was, it was wonderful. A sheltering, protective warmth like nothing she remembered. It might be love – and if it wasn’t, maybe it could become love.
Wasn’t that worth fighting for?
“So, let me get this straight.” She forced the sorrow away, forbidding it from touching the mocking tone she used to protect herself. “There’s no love on the Other Side of whatever we’re on the other side of?”
Dick shook his head.
“What is there, then? What’s the point?”
“Purity. Contentment. Contemplation. Serenity. Compassion.”
“But no love?” She waited, but he added nothing. “Meh. I’ll pass.”
“What? No! You can’t!” When she turned to leave this time, he was desperate enough to grab her elbow.
Tess shook loose. “Sorry but your Other Side sounds boring as hell.”
“Don’t you see? The pain stops. The hungers. The needs.”
“Is that all you want out of life?” Her lip wrinkled with contempt. “Not to hurt? Not to want anything?”
Faced with her disdain, Dick glared back. “Where has all your wanting and hurting gotten you? You can’t even bear to remember your own past!”
“Not right now,” she admitted. “Maybe later. And I tell you what; I’m going to keep trying. Twelve failed relationships doesn’t mean that love isn’t real.”
“Fine, don’t come home with me. But please, don’t trap me here! Help me get this information and you’ll never see me again.”
Now that was the first genuinely tempting offer he’d made all day! No way in hell, though, that she’d betray Darian just to get her ex out of her life. “No deal.”
“Why not? The Fangs will make you rich. They’ll…” He trailed after her, then suddenly his pleas cut short. “Oh hell no. Tell me you haven’t fallen for this Morland guy.”
She refused to respond to that, but he guessed the answer anyway and began to laugh. “Damn, you are predictable. How long did it take? Did you ‘fall in love’ the day after you Shed – or was it the same day? I never thought I’d say this, Amatessandra, but you’re pathetic. After everything you’ve been through, you still want to be loved. You need it, to the bottom of your soul. You poor, deluded fool.”
Tess turned to face him. She was pleased to see that he flinched away as she did. “Dick, I never want to see you again. It won’t go well for you if I do.” Then she continued toward the exit. That sad addict at the bar watched her go, smiling, her lips ringed with sores. Tess was tempted to grab her and pull her out of this damned place. Dick would feed the girl’s addiction not help her. But her own life was such a mess she didn’t think she could help anyone.
As she opened the door, cold air poured in from the parking lot. Behind her, Dick spoke one more time.
“Did Morland mention that he killed his wife?”
Tess froze, shocked.
“Guess not. Well, good luck with the new love of your life.”
The murderer.
Chapter 9
It was remarkable what a little bit of sugar and a handful of toys would do for a kid’s mood.
Probably sloppy parenting, but Darian didn’t care. He stirred the beans heating on their wood stove, a lopsided grin on his face as he li
stened to Ethan babble with joy over his new Legos. Nothing wrong with the occasional bit of bribery.
No, make that a ‘reward’. He had just turned his son’s life upside down. Torn him away from school, from his friends, and dumped him in a cabin that didn’t even have a tv or running water. Ethan deserved a few presents. For a seven year old, he’d taken this catastrophe pretty damned well.
“Fifteen more minutes, then you need to do some homework,” he reminded the boy.
Ethan wrinkled his nose. “Why do I have to do homework even though I don’t go to school?”
“You have to do homework because you aren’t going to a school. This is called ‘home schooling.’ It means you go to school in your own home.”
Hope brightened his son’s face. “Are the other kids going to come here?”
“No.” His heart ached to see that tiny hope dashed. “It’ll be just us.”
Ethan twirled a Lego between his small fingers. “I miss other kids. I liked school.”
Only two weeks, and he was already lonely. Darian sighed, trying to dismiss the guilt that raised. This was hard on him, and – unlike the boy – he understood why this was necessary. “It’ll only be for a little while, sport.”
Ethan kept staring at the piece of plastic he held. “Did I do something wrong? Did we have to leave because of me?”
“No!” He dropped the spoon and hurried to his son’s side. Kneeling, he pulled him into a tight hug. “Of course not! Why would you think that?”
Ethan didn’t say anything. He just burrowed deeper into his father’s arms.
“Nobody did anything wrong,” he assured the child. “There are just some bad things happening. So we needed to come here, where it’s safe. Once things calm back down, we can go home.”
Or to something more like home than this off-the-grid shell of a camp. Someplace that at least had running water and electricity.
A sudden knock interrupted that hug.
Darian bolted to his feet, heart pounding. “Ethan, go to your room now,” he growled. Roused by his fierce, protective love, his Dragon thrashed angrily against the bonds that silenced it. Frightened, his son scrambled away, leaving toys scattered across the cabin floor.
“Who is it?” he called as he slipped toward the door.
A familiar voice answered, “Your neighbor. We need to talk.”
His heart and his Dragon both quieted at once. Darian reminded himself, however, that he didn’t truly know this Tess. He could not assume she was safe. Ethan’s life might depend upon that.
He opened the door and scanned the yard beyond her. To his relief, she seemed to be alone.
Yet something had changed – for the worse. On the few times they’d met, Tess was light-hearted, always ready with a joke or sardonic smile. Now she stood before him, grim and unsmiling.
Emotions – as foolish as they were strong – flooded him. Once more his Dragon began to stir. Something was wrong. She needed help, comforting… something. He needed to…
…he needed to stop treating her like his beloved. She was a stranger, despite that haunting dream. Nothing more. Her problems were not his to fix.
“Come in.”
She shook her head and lowered her voice. “Come outside. I don’t want to scare your son.”
His Dragon grumbled and fretted at that warning. “Ethan! It’s just the lady next door.” Immediately, his son peeked out. When he saw Tess, his face lit up and he waved frantically. The grim ice that froze her face melted slightly and she waved back, a ghost of a smile turning up her lips.
“We’re having beans!” Ethan announced. “Do you want some? Do you want to see my new−”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Tess and I have to talk. Adult talk, okay?”
The boy’s shoulders slumped, dramatically. “Do I have to stay in my room?”
“Yup.”
“Oh.” He heaved a melodramatic sigh. “Can she stay for dinner though?”
“We’ll see.” He half expected the woman to jump at that offer. But the polite, cool mask had settled over her features once more and she stayed quiet. “Back in your room.”
Ethan settled, Darian stepped outside and closed the door. “What’s wrong?”
“You need to leave, soon. You’re not safe here.”
His Dragon seethed, its guardian nature infuriated by the hint of danger to his loved ones.
Love one, Darian reminded himself. He didn’t love Tess.
“What’s wrong?”
She folded her arms across her chest. “My ex cornered me in Bangor today. Turns out he’s working for those Fangs you mentioned.”
His breath hissed through his teeth and, for a moment, he had to close his eyes as his Dragon launched a fierce, fruitless attack on its prison.
“Bad news.” Tess remained cool and flat, like she was repeating the day’s weather. “They know you’re here. Dick – the ex – wanted me to get information from you about something called a ‘Wellspring.’ Don’t say a word!” She held up a finger as he opened his mouth. “The less I know, the less I can be forced to tell.”
As if he would let anyone threaten her!
The thought, unbidden, flashed through his mind. Once again, Darian marveled at the ease with which this stranger had slipped into his trust, into his heart. Almost as if that dream truly was…
Concentrate, he scolded himself. This is no time for daydreams.
“Thank you. We’ll leave tonight.” Another flight, so soon after the first, would break Ethan’s heart. But there was no help for it.
Tess nodded. “Be careful. Dick mentioned that they had people following you. Your realtor is compromised too. That’s how they found this place.”
Dammit. So much for reselling this camp. Good thing he was rich; he could afford a loss. The threat of watchers was a much greater danger. Rat Shifters were peerless spies – and there was only one ‘road’ out of this camp. No doubt they had someone watching. He’d probably pick up a tail before he hit a paved road. With cell phones and accomplices, a pack of Rats could follow him endlessly.
But what other choice did he have? There truly was only one road.
Another suggestion rumbled up from deep inside his soul. Release me, his Dragon ordered. Reclaim yourself. Take back your power. We will return to the skies, where no Rat could ever follow.
Soaring through the clouds, sun on his back, wind whistling around him… the memory of flight slammed through him, waking a bitter longing.
No. Ethan would die if he saw his father change into a monster.
We are not a monster! the Dragon roared. Ethan shares our blood. He is Kindred, where Charity was not. He would not flinch to see your soul!
Maybe that blood would protect him. Maybe not. It wasn’t a chance Darian was willing to take.
Tess waited, unspeaking, studying his face.
“You know this place better than me,” he said. “Is there any other way out besides the road? Some path?”
“We’re on the edge of the Hundred Mile Wilderness, buddy. It doesn’t get much more remote in the Lower 48.”
“So there’s nothing? No trails, no paths…?”
Her arms remained folded in a tight, protective band around her chest. “There’s the Appalachian Trail to the north. But like the sign says, it’s a hundred miles to the next town. The Fangs would have a scout at the end long before you got there.”
Nothing for it, then, except to run the Rat gauntlet.
“Though…” Tess sighed and, for the first time, her arms dropped to her sides. “The Penobscot tribe had trails that ran between the lakes out here. I knew them once and I might be able to, uh, recover those memories. Get us over to Echo Lake where we could bum a ride. Or steal a car.”
That was an odd turn of phrase, yet he welcomed the offer of help. “Thank you.”
Tess nodded glumly, clearly not happy with herself. “Sure. I’ll get the memories in the morning.”
Like they were a bag of groceries, not part of hersel
f. Odder and odder.
“That’s fine. You couldn’t follow a trail in the dark anyways.”
“No, probably not.” She turned her back on him. “Be ready to leave early.”
“Wait.”
She turned back, wary, guarded. “Thank you,” he said, letting his relief warm his words. “I will owe you a Blood Debt. By all rights, I ought to present you with a gold coin to mark this honor.”
“Don’t worry about it. Happy to help,” she said. Sounding anything but happy.
No joke? No laugh? Something was terribly wrong. “Tess? Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” Once more, his Dragon stirred to angry life, ready to strike down anyone who would dared to menace his Mate.
My neighbor, not my Mate.
“Nah. I’m fine. If you disappear, Dick will be ticked off, but he’s not going to hurt me. And, as far as I know, he hasn’t told the Fangs about me. On the bright side, I now know more about Shifters and that ‘Other Side’ of yours. You’re a Dragon, right?”
She said that with perfect calmness. He wasn’t sure if that pleased him, or disappointed him. “Yes. Do you know what type of Shifter you are now?”
“Apparently I’m an Adanai.”
The word meant nothing to him. “What is that? Some Native name for a Bear or Wolf?”
A mocking smile, a hint of her old self, drifted across her lips. “I think it’s Elvish for ‘useless people who sit around looking pretty.’ I don’t turn into anything particularly good.”
That was baffling. He’d never heard of an Adanai before, and he was well-learned in Shifter society. “I may be able to put you in touch with other Shifters that would know more about your Kind.”
“Don’t bother.” That flash of humor disappeared as quickly as it had come. “The one thing I do know about Adanai is that they can dump their memories into rocks. You’ll see tomorrow, because I’m going to have to dig one up to find our trails. I bet everything I need to know about Adanai is in another one.”
Why would someone destroy their own memories?
His Dragon seethed. You destroy your own strength. Why should another not destroy their wisdom? Mortals are foolish.
