We didn’t talk for the entire ride back to my place. When we arrived, Mia retreated to the office, slamming the door shut behind her. The whole afternoon was a mess. I hadn’t meant to yell at her. She was just so thick-headed sometimes, and I didn’t understand why she just couldn’t see what was so clear to me.
I looked at the door she was hiding behind and heaved a deep breath. If I went in after her, we would just end up fighting more. She needed space. Hell, I needed space, too, so I grabbed my keys off the table and headed to Liberty Public Market.
I walked into the market and inhaled the scent of freshly brewed coffee and slow-roasted carnitas. I loved Liberty Station. It was a former Naval base that had been turned into a gathering for artisan foods, craft beers, entertainment, and shopping.
A tall, white bin of sunflowers caught my eye, so I gathered a bunch and purchased them.
When Mia had left me, I’d become a changed man. I had been romantic and loving but turned hard and cynical that day. Though, I could never go back to who I was before, a part of the old me remained in my soul.
I decided to plan something special for Mia. I bought a New York strip steak for me, a vegan smoked apple and sage sausage for Mia, a salad, and a nice bottle of wine.
It was a small offering of peace, but I hoped it would be enough.
When I returned to my place, she opened the door, and I handed her flowers.
“Thank you. These are beautiful.” She gave me a kiss as if the fight from earlier had been forgiven already, and placed them in a pitcher of water that she used for a vase.
“You are beautiful.” I started cooking our dinner as she leaned against the counter, watching me.
“So tell me, where did you learn to dance like that?”
A blush spread on her cheeks. “Well, I always danced growing up, you knew that. Ballet and jazz. Cumbia with my mom. But I took pole dancing lessons in San Francisco. It was really fun actually—the dancing, not the taking my clothes off part. It’s hard too and like the best workout for my arms.”
I laughed. I completely admired that she had fully thrown herself into this psychotic charade. “Well, from now on, I’m happy to be your audience. Your only audience. I’ll even install a pole in the bedroom. Maybe for your next challenge, you can train to be the first female SEAL.”
She raised the glass to her lips. “I would, but I don’t want to make you look bad. I run very fast and per my small arms instructor, I have a ninety-five percent shooting accuracy. I’d smoke you.”
Smartass. “Oh, you think so?” I grabbed her, carried her to the sofa, and pinned her down as she giggled. I kissed her, and she kissed me back, us both laughing. And for a few brief moments, we just enjoyed being with each other. We were perfectly in the moment, no stress about the past or future.
“I think the food is burning,” she mumbled between kisses. I jumped up and strode to the kitchen. My steak was a bit too dark, but her meal was okay.
“It’s still good.” I smiled over my shoulder at her before plating everything and carrying it to the table. “So, when we get our son back, what is our plan?”
She bit her lip as she poured us both wine. “If we get him back.”
“We’re going to get him back. Are you going to move in here and take care of him while I work? I have a deployment coming up soon.”
Her eyes brightened, and she gave me a hopeful smile. “I know. Yes, of course I’d love that. I probably can finish my last few courses at SDSU and transfer the credits for my degree.” Her smile vanished, and her brow furrowed. “This will be so hard on him. He doesn’t even know us. He will probably need therapy.”
We’ll all need therapy after this. “Yeah, well, we’re his parents. We’ll get through this. We can move to a house on base and give him a normal life.” I paused, not wanting her to clue into my plan. Thankfully, she seemed to miss the implication of my words.
“We can work out the details once we get custody of him. Do you want to watch a movie?”
“Sure. My choice, though.”
After dinner, she sat on the sofa, and I popped in a DVD. Her jaw dropped when it started.
“We’re watching my old play? Seriously? You never wanted to watch it. You never even saw me act.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I was such a selfish asshole. But clearly you’re a great actress. I’m sorry I never supported your dreams like you supported mine.”
“It’s okay. I understood. But thanks, this means a lot.” She relaxed in my arms as I watched her perform Portia in the The Merchant of Venice. By her first soliloquy, I was blown away by her talent. She completely transformed into her character.
Just like she had transformed into Ksenya.
The next morning, I slipped out before Mia woke and drove straight to Kyle’s pad in Mission Beach. Dude had more money than I would ever see in my lifetime, and his dumbass gave up that lifestyle to go hunt terrorists. I loved what I did, and I knew he loved it, too, but it didn’t stop me from thinking he was out of his mind for giving up that lifestyle. He was, however, exceptional at what he did, and if anyone could find this woman, it would be Kyle. He was whip smart, and even former Team guys had mad respect for him.
I rang the doorbell, hoping I wasn’t waking anyone. Kyle answered and stepped aside so I could come in. His girlfriend Sara, one of the cheerleaders who had been kidnapped on a USO tour, was relaxing on his sofa—another SEAL falling in love with the girl he saved. It was like none of us could ever be in a normal relationship.
Kyle put his hand on my shoulder. “What’s up, my man?”
“Can we talk?”
Kyle gave me the same look he gave me when I was smarting off at work before nodding to the back hallway that led to his office.
I waved to Sara as we passed and she smiled as she returned the gesture. She’d completely recovered from being held hostage in Afghanistan, but every time I saw her, my mind flashed to how she looked when we’d found her. Blood on her neck, dirt covering her body. Cowering in a cave in her bra and panties. Finding her alive had been one of the best moments of my life. One of the moments that I realized all the pain and sacrifices I’d made to become a SEAL had been worth it. We’d saved her.
I stepped into his office and Kyle shut the door behind us.
“This is about the boy, isn’t it? The guys I have on it think that he could be Joaquín’s son. Is that why he did it? Because Tiffany had his kid and he never knew?”
My heart pounded. I had no intention of lying to Kyle. “The boy isn’t Joaquín’s son. He’s mine.”
Kyle’s eyes widened, and he leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his desk. “Say what? Are you serious, man?”
“Yup. Turns out Mia was pregnant. I never knew—just found out. She left me and had the baby in San Francisco. But she was told our baby died in the hospital, which obviously wasn’t the case since he’s alive and well. We have no idea how Tiffany ended up with him.”
His mouth slackened, and he rubbed his jaw. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“So, Mia’s back in town? I thought you hadn’t heard from her. I’ve been worried about her. You were such a dick to her when she came to The Pickled Frog asking for help.”
“Yeah, she’s back. Actually . . . she’s Ksenya.”
Kyle let out a laugh and smirked. “Are you serious, man? You’re not going to believe me, but I had my suspicious. I chalked them up to too many concussions. She looks so different—what did she do? She had plastic surgery to fool us?”
“Something like that.”
“Wow. You’re blowing my mind.”
“Yeah, well, it gets worse. I don’t think Joaquín is innocent. There are just too many questions, ya know?”
He nodded. “Joaquín was always a bit off, but murder? I’m not sure. Don’t get me wrong, lots of guys snap for no real reason, but just because you have questions doesn’t mean he’s a murderer. But do you remember what happened in Afghanistan? Before Sara was taken
?”
That deployment was a haze. War was always a mind fuck. “No, what?”
“Joaquín had snuck off one night on that deployment with some village elders. When I asked him about it, he looked me dead in the eye and said he wanted to have tea with them, learn about their culture. He technically hadn’t done anything wrong, so I didn’t write him up, but why the fuck would he do that?”
My mouth became dry. “I never knew about that.” Maybe he had been smuggling drugs. I remembered that he had been buddies with another Team guy who had smuggled drugs from Aruba but I’d never thought anything about it. That dude had been kicked out. “Did you ever catch Joaquín doing drugs?”
Kyle glared at me. “No, did you?”
“No.” I paused, careful not to rat out Mitch. “But I heard rumors that Joaquín had been using and had a local dealer.”
“Yeah, well he pissed clean. I’ll look into the drugs, too. But for now,” he said waving away that whole line of thought, “back to your son. We haven’t located him or the woman yet. We did find the company they rented the U-Haul from and traced the truck to San Rafael,”
San Rafael was in Marin County across the Golden Gate Bridge. It was also where Joaquín and Mia were from. “Anything else?”
“We traced the grandma’s family to an area called the Canal. Staked out her sister’s house, but we haven’t found anything. But my guy asked around, and someone said he thought he saw the grandma and the kid at the bus stop, but we couldn’t verify it.”
“I need to check it out.” I had to go up there. With Mia. See if we could find something . . . visit the hospital . . . get her medical records—
“Hold up. No, man. Let me handle it. I’m not doubting that you could find them, but if they know you are on to them, they could spook and disappear. You can’t risk that. If you go up there, I’d steer clear of the area. I have men on it.”
“Fine. Okay. Can you get someone to investigate SF General. Our son was born there. September sixth, two years ago. His birth name was Elías Joaquín Cruz.”
Kyle picked up a pen and wrote the information on a note pad. “I’m on it. What’s your plan when we find them? Kidnap him back?” He smirked, apparently knowing me too well.
“I mean what can I do? If I do that, it will look like I had a motive for Tiffany’s killing. My psycho SEAL instinct is to find him and take him by gunpoint, but I realize that’s insane.”
“Insane and illegal. The law doesn’t give a shit about reasons. Kidnapping is still a felony.”
“Right.” I nodded, not really caring if it was a felony. I just didn’t want Kyle to pull the plug on the manhunt. “Plus, I don’t want to traumatize the boy. I mean, he doesn’t know me, the woman he knows as his mom is dead, and he only has his grandma. I need to keep my emotions out of it, and just come up with a plan that keeps him protected as much as possible.”
“Truer words were never spoken. Once we find him, we can work with law enforcement to take him from his grandmother. You need official DNA tests, statements from you and Mia, and a good lawyer. Joaquín is using Daniel, but I’ll be honest, I don’t trust that motherfucker. If I were you, I wouldn’t breathe a word of this to anyone on the Team, either. I’ll let you know the second I hear anything about your boy. We have a good group on this case. We will find him.”
“Thanks, man. I feel like you’re the only person I can trust.”
“I got your six.” Kyle gave me some business cards for lawyers. “Need anything else?”
I hesitated to ask, but I was desperate. “Is there any way I can get some unofficial leave? Just a few days. I want to go up to Marin and check out some stuff. I promise I’ll steer clear of my kid. I can work doubles on base when I get back.”
Kyle stood and placed his hand on my shoulder. “Consider it done. Just don’t get into any trouble. That’s an order.”
“Yes, sir. I appreciate it.” I shook his outstretched hand and left his place.
I made some more phone calls on the way home, securing a flight to Marin and booking a hotel and rental car. As I planned, another idea settled in my mind, and as much as I tried to reason my way around it, I couldn’t. My head and heart were at war with each other, and by the time I pulled into my parking spot, rationality was lying on the ground, bleeding and broken.
It lost.
Ever since Elías had died, it had felt as if a part of my soul were missing. The urge to be with him and mother him had only become stronger since I learned he was alive. When I added Grant into the mix, it made me yearn for something more. I wanted to belong to someone. Create a new family to replace the one I had lost. Elías bound Grant and I together forever.
I jumped in the shower and heard Hero bark a greeting to Grant when he came back from wherever he had been. When I emerged, clean and wrapped in a big fluffy towel, I saw him packing his seabag.
“Where are we going? Oh my god. Did you find Julián?”
“No, not yet. But there was a sighting in San Rafael. Kyle doesn’t want us intervening, but I figured we could go up there anyway and go through those medical records you said you’d kept.”
“Can you get off work?”
“Kyle’s covering for me. Come on, our plane leaves in an hour.”
“Plane? I don’t want to go to the airport. I mean, my Ksenya documents may be good, but they are fake. And I don’t look like my old IDs.”
“My buddy’s taking us. He’s a Blue Angel.”
“Wow, really? That’s nice of him.” Damn. I loved Blue Angels. When Joaquín and I were kids, my father would drive us to the top of a hill in Tiburon to watch them fly. After I told Grant about the trips, he made it a point to take me to see them every time they did their airshows Miramar.
We dropped Hero and Curry off with friends and headed to Carlsbad Airport to meet Beckett, who would be flying us in a small airplane. I had to admit I was disappointed by the news. I’d secretly hoped that I’d be able to hitch a ride in one of those glorious blue-and-yellow Hornets. Still, it was cool that we were getting a ride in a private plane.
We walked over to the hangar, and Grant strode toward the gorgeous man in a green flight suit who was waiting for us. He was tall, had dark hair, and wore black aviators.
“Hey, man, this is my girlfriend, Mia.”
I smiled and tried to play it cool even though my stomach exploded in butterflies when Grant called me his girlfriend.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Beck.”
“Nice to meet you, too,” I said. “Thanks for taking us.”
“No problem. Works out fine. I was headed up to the wine country for the night anyway.”
We climbed into the tiny plane, and I wanted to laugh. I may love to watch the Blue Angels doing their stunts, but I hated flying. “How do you know him?” I whispered to Grant.
“He deployed with us a year ago. He was our pilot, and then he got selected to be an Angel for the upcoming season. I’m happy for him. It’s harder to become an Angel than a Navy SEAL.”
Grant and Joaquín were always bragging about how impossible it was to graduate from BUD/S so it was nice to hear that Grant could acknowledge that Beck was as badass as he was. I gave Grant a beaming smile and tried to stuff my nerves down as deep as I could. Still, I spent the entirety of the two-hour flight white-knuckling the side of my seat, and Grant laughed at me more than once.
We landed at the Sonoma airport, and I was the first person off the plane. I wanted to puke, but Grant just rubbed my back and led me to the rental car he had waiting for us.
“Are you sure we can’t go look for Elías?” I asked when I regained my composure.
“Kyle doesn’t want us seen around the area just in case we get spotted and they get spooked.”
I gritted my teeth. “So, we’re really just here for medical records?”
“Well, those and anything else you want to bring home with you. You said it was in storage, let’s go get it.”
I took a deep breath and let my shoulder
s slump a bit. We really weren’t here to find our son. Grant was here to find some intel about Joaquín. “Yeah, we have a Grange box in San Rafael. There’s not much in there. Joaquín and I threw out most of it. We pretty much kept pictures. What are you looking for?”
“Nothing. Anything. Something.”
Great answer. I directed him to the row of storage boxes behind on the side of the freeway. I hadn’t been back since after Elías died. I didn’t even have a key. I was about to suggest calling a locksmith, but Grant just pulled into a parking spot and cut the engine.
“Which number is it?”
“Three-oh-four, but I don’t have a key.”
He just turned and gave me a wry smile and waited. It took me a minute, but then it clicked. He was a SEAL, and SEALs didn’t need keys.
“Right. Let’s go then.”
Grant busted open the lock as if it were nothing more than a damn bow holding the door closed. In my mind, I always knew what he was capable of, but I had to admit it totally turned me on to see his ninja skills in person.
Grant rolled up the steel door, revealing all the dust and spiders. My first step was toward a small box I’d shoved in the back of the locker just in case Joaquín visited the unit. I trusted Joaquín, of course, but I hadn’t wanted him to go through that box. I’d never told him I’d been pregnant and didn’t want him to find out that way. I opened the box and found the manila envelope where I’d kept all my pregnancy records.
Grant sat beside me, and we looked at blood tests, ultrasounds, and invoices. He gazed longingly at the final ultrasound, and I had to close my eyes to stop the tears from welling up. I remembered what it felt like to have my son in my belly, the joy of counting his kicks, the thrill of seeing him on the doctor’s screen. Hopefully, I would replace those memories with better ones.
When I reached the bottom of the pile, I expected to find another stack of paperwork, but there was nothing.
“That’s weird. I swore I put the hospital papers in this envelope.”
Grant grabbed the pile and rapidly thumbed through the papers. “They’re not here. Did you put them in another file?”
Crave (Se7en Deadly SEALs Book 5) Page 4
