by Lylah James
“More like taking her to bed,” I muttered before I could stop myself.
There we go. My fucked-up feelings made their ugly appearance yet again.
“Jealous?” Alessio taunted, not realizing what effect his words had.
Shrugging off like his taunting meant nothing, I replied, “You’re still a puppy.”
“You’re still single.”
A shot straight to the heart. Bullseye. My heart squeezed almost painfully, and I looked away from the happy couple.
Fuck you, brother. Just fuck you.
“Ouch,” Phoenix chuckled. “That’s gotta hurt.”
Leveling him with a glare, I let my anger out. “Look who is fucking talking. Has Maddie threatened to cut your dick off yet?”
Maddie and Phoenix have been doing the tango dance for years. I wondered when she would finally give in and give the poor bastard a break.
Phoenix glared back and mumbled under his breath. “Yeah, she did. Last night. When I tried to sneak into her room.”
This family deserved an Oscar award. Right fucking now.
I saw Phoenix turning his head toward Nikolay, which brought everyone’s attention to the brooding, silent man.
“What?” he asked, looking completely horrified. The image itself made me want to laugh.
Evaline clapped her hands. “Oh, I know!” She smiled sweetly at Nikolay, batting her eyelashes. “You’re still a cuddly teddy bear.”
Silence. Complete utter silence.
“What?” Nikolay finally sputtered.
My sister, oblivious to the mess she just created, winked. “The girls and I have decided that you’re a cuddly teddy bear.”
“That’s worse than all of us combined,” I whispered to Phoenix, who was already nodding his head.
“I’m almost embarrassed for him. Well fuck.”
“I’m not a fucking teddy bear,” he finally growled.
“Prove it,” Evaline laughed before slapping his ass again.
Moving forward quickly, I grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her away. “Okay, that’s it. Too much touching now.”
Alessio cleared his throat. “We’re out,” he announced before dragging Ayla out of the office.
What a fiasco.
But I couldn’t help but smile. This was what I missed.
Being a family.
Isaak and Lyov quietly left too. Everyone walked out, one by one, until only Nikolay and I were left behind.
“Are you going to be okay?” He finally broke the silence after minutes of us not speaking a single word.
“You mean, if I will come back alive again?” I questioned.
“Will you?”
“I’ll try.”
“Good. The family needs you. I hope all of this ends quickly and you can come back home—where everyone is waiting for you.”
With those as his final whispered words, he walked out. I was left alone in the office, with only my thoughts.
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. Time to play.
They might have had the King, but the Ace was in our hands now.
Chapter 11
Evaline
The lights were off, the estate now dark as everyone went to their rooms. I could hear a few doors closing and then silence. I laid in my bed, my heart thumping wildly for some reason.
Wait, actually, I knew the reason.
I was only two doors away from Nikolay.
My heart thumped harder at the thought, just like always whenever I thought of him. When my eyes would find his, it still felt like the first time I had gazed into his face. The same bolt of electricity, the same shiver…every time felt like the first.
Every look felt like the first look.
And every touch was just as good as the first, if not better.
The same emotion clawed at my throat, wanting to be let out. My heart wanted me to feel and let go. He was only two doors away. I could go to him. Maybe he was waiting for me.
Or maybe not.
Seven years ago, he would have been waiting for me. His doors unlocked, his naked body half covered by the bedsheet, as he waited for me to silently come into his room. And then we would make love in the darkness of the night until next morning.
Just wrapped in each other’s arms, cocooned in each other’s love. Just us.
And now, he avoided my eyes every time he could. He kept himself hidden in shadows, so that nobody could touch him, see him, hold him.
One moment we had everything and the next, we lost it all.
Thump thump.
My heart continued to beat for him.
Thump thump.
My breathing accelerated with the possibilities. Would he push me away again?
He used me whenever and however he wanted. Nikolay would always come to me during his darkest moments. He would take me, use me, and then disappear into the shadows again, leaving me empty in the midst of my broken love for him.
Until the next time he lost control.
Thump thump.
I needed him tonight. Maybe I could use him this time—an excuse to hold him while I could. I wanted to give him the love he needed but was trying so hard to fight.
Thump thump.
I pressed my hand over my chest before taking a deep breath. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, my decision was made.
Without a second thought, I jumped out of bed. Get your inner badass bitch out and go claim your man.
My feet were light against the wooden floor as I walked out of my bedroom and made my way to his.
One step ahead. Another step forward. And repeat, until I was standing outside Nikolay’s room.
Thump thump.
My palms felt sweaty, and I licked my lips nervously. Wait, why the fuck was I nervous?
Shaking my head, I scowled at his door. It wasn’t like this was our first time. Hell no, we had been doing this for a long time now.
Maybe it was the fact that I hadn’t see him for months—five months to be exact. The last time I had seen him, he had fucked me in my bed and left without a word. Just like always.
Our once beautiful love story was now tainted. No longer a love story. Just broken moments between us. Shattered hearts that left both of us drowning in the fucked-up mess of love.
But tonight…it was going to be different.
“Well, I fucking hope it is,” I muttered to myself, still scowling at his door. “God, woman. Get yourself together and stop acting like a fifteen-year-old virgin.”
I patted my hair down and bit on my lips, trying to give it a more reddish color and look plump. “Time for mission impossible, babe.”
But my words were drowned by a sudden, muffled scream.
My eyes widened, and I took a step forward, almost plastering my body against the door. There was another scream, it sounded almost tortured. And so broken.
My heart ached at the sound, and without thinking, I turned the doorknob. I knew the door would be open. He hated being confined in a room. It took him months to finally be able to close his door, but he never locked it.
The doors were always partially open, never fully closed.
It gave him a sense of freedom. He needed it. Nikolay craved it.
I walked inside and closed the door behind me. My eyes found Nikolay in the darkness. The small lamp on his nightstand barely cast any light.
Another scream made me flinch, and my eyes blurred with tears at the sight of my man fighting against invisible chains—monsters.
His body thrashed around on his bed, the bedsheet twisted around his ankles as he fought his torturers in his sleep.
“No!” His fingers clawed at his throat, his legs kicking out in desperation. He cried out again. My heart cracked at how raw and painful his cries sounded.
Without thinking, I lurched forward and ran to his side.
The warning bells rang loud in my ears, telling me what a big mistake this was. But I didn’t care.
With a knee on the bed, I leaned over him.
My fingers dug into his shoulders as I tried to shake him awake.
“Nik. Nikolay. Nikolay, baby, open your eyes,” I begged, my tears now falling in endless streams down my cheeks. “Lyubov moya.”
His screams turned into an angry growl, and before I could blink, his body moved swiftly and quickly.
I found myself underneath him, his legs straddling my hips with his fingers wrapped around my throat.
Nikolay didn’t give me a chance to speak. His fingers tightened, blocking my air passage as I struggled against his hold. I choked and sputtered, trying to cry out. Desperate for him to hear me and snap out of whatever nightmare he was going through.
My vision blurred with my unshed tears, and finally, his eyes snapped open. He stared at me, looking confused at first.
“It’s…okay. You…are okay. We are okay…it was just…a…nightmare,” I tried to choke out. My hands released his and went around his shoulders. “You…are safe. You are okay.”
My touch was featherlight, a soft touch, a gentle caress as I waited for him to come back fully to his senses.
His gaze moved from my red face to his hand around my neck, and his eyes widened in horror. “Fuck!” he swore, quickly pulling away from me. He rubbed a hand over his face in an agitated manner before leveling me with a glare.
I held my neck and gasped for air, my throat burning so bad I could barely swallow.
“How many times do I have to tell you not to touch me when I am like this?” he snapped, his black eyes looking even darker and more dangerous with his fury. “I could have hurt you! Damn it!”
I rubbed my throat and shook my head. My heart drummed harder like the wings of a caged bird. My voice was suddenly gone, my tears just rolling down my cheeks as I stared at Nikolay.
He looked so angry…and so tortured. His body was covered in sweat, his breathing harsher, and his chest heaved with each labored breath.
He looked like he just escaped hell. In some ways, he just did.
For most of us, when we sleep, we relax and just float away. For Nikolay, the demons hunted him down even in his sleep.
His torturers were long gone but still haunted him. As if they were right here, next to him—hurting him.
It hurt…not because my throat was sore, but I hurt for him. And I just wished he would let me hold him. Just for once. I wanted him to share his pain with me, to let me take some of the burden, but I saw how his expression shuttered when I didn’t answer.
Nikolay retrieved back into himself, his expression turning cold and dark. Vicious. He looked almost frightening. His scars looked more pronounce and deeper, like they were fresh and not fully healed yet.
His eyes were darker, almost looking soulless.
Everyone else would have been scared. I wasn’t.
I welcomed it because I knew, beneath all those scars and the raging façade was a gentle man who once called me Beauty.
“I was trying to wake you up. It was a really bad nightmare,” I said finally. My voice came out croaky and too soft for my own ears. “I was worried you would hurt yourself.”
He scoffed, his gaze quickly going to my neck before meeting mine again. “What are you doing here?” he finally asked, his glare almost causing me to shiver.
Taken aback by the question, I sat up against the headboard and tried to think of an appropriate answer. Whatever I had in mind had just disappeared into thin air. The situation was different now that he just woke up from a nightmare.
He rubbed his head before digging his fingers into his scalp in frustration. His once buzz cut hair has grown a little longer. Enough for him to pull on them.
His arms fell to his sides again as he knelt beside my body. His fingers clenched into fists and then unclenched again. His teeth grinded together, and I saw a muscle tick in his jaw as he clenched it too tight.
“Why are you here?” he asked again, his time his voice louder. I knew he was about to lose whatever control he had left. “Answer the fucking question, Evaline.”
I could no longer hold his eyes, instead my gaze shifted to his chest. “You know why,” I whispered.
“You came here to be fucked?” he sneered, his body inching closer to mine.
I flinched at his tone and the way his words were thrown at me. “Your pussy miss being used, Evaline?”
“Nikolay—” I started, but my sentence was cut short when he grabbed my ankle and pulled.
A shocked yelp escaped me when I found myself on my back, with his huge body looming over mine. My throat suddenly felt dry, and I could only stare into his mesmerizing eyes.
I always found myself lost in the depths of those beautiful dark irises.
Without much of an effort, he ripped my nightdress, peeling it away. Nikolay pushed himself up, until his lower body was cradled between my spread legs. “I’ll give you exactly what you came here for. I’ll fuck your pretty cunt until you can’t walk for days.”
I was powerless against his words, and my body wasn’t my own anymore. His hands trailed down my torso, moving south toward my pussy.
Everything else that happened minutes ago was long forgotten.
We were both lost in a lustful euphoria.
I was already wet, weeping for him. I squirmed underneath his hard body, needing him to touch me everywhere. His fingers grazed my clit, and I threw my head back, my body jolting with a moan.
“I have barely touched you and you’re already so fucking wet,” he growled in approval, his thumb now working over my clit.
He dragged a finger over my slit before his palm cupped me roughly. “What do you want, Evaline? Tell me.”
“I…I…want…no, I need…”
My words were lost when he took my tiny nub between his thumb and forefinger, giving me a soft pinch. “Fuck,” I swore, my hips pushing against his fingers for more.
My hand went behind his neck, pulling his head toward me. My mouth slammed against his for a hard kiss. My lips parted, and his shoved his tongue into mouth, taking control of the kiss.
I needed his touch, his kisses—just like I knew he craved mine.
While his thumb played with my clit just the way I liked it, he pushed a finger inside me, stretching my walls. I moaned into his kiss, moving my hips with his fingers.
He inched another finger inside me, working both fingers in and out, pumping harder with each thrust.
When his fingers slipped out, he dragged a disappointed mewl from me. I felt empty, but not for long, when his length bumped against my throbbing opening.
I bit on his lips and then kissed him harder. His wet fingers circled my nipples, tweaking the hardened buds. I cried out at the sensation, my hips thrusting upward.
Nikolay dragged his cock against my folds, back and forth. Again and again, but never entering me. He continued to torture me, running his hard length up and down my wet folds. I could feel myself dripping, and yet he refused to give me what I needed.
I trembled underneath his body as my legs spread wider, his hips pressing into mine. “Please…”
Finally, he tore his lips away from mine, and our eyes locked. The tip of him teased my opening, and I shuddered in pleasure.
His hand inched upward until his fingers were wrapped around my throat. My eyes widened, and I grabbed his wrist.
He didn’t give me a chance to think. With a powerful, relentless thrust, he drove into my willing pussy.
I cried out, my hips bucking upward, trying to dislodge him as he stretched me almost painfully. My fingers desperately clawed at his shoulders.
He continued to thrust into me, pounding me hard. My ankles locked behind his back as I surrendered to him.
He quickly found his stride as he tilted my hips upward, my ass leaving the bed as he continued to slam into me.
With his cock buried to the hilt, he paused. I was stretched impossibly full. It almost hurt but I loved the burn.
“It doesn’t matter how many times I have taken you. Countless times, over and over again. Your pussy is st
ill as tight and grips my cock just as perfectly, as the first time I fucked you.” His voice lowered to a possessive growl. “Remember when I popped your cherry?”
With my gaze on his, I felt myself smile. “How can I forget? It was the best night of my life, lyubov moya.”
My love.
His face softened for a second before he lost the loving look again. Nikolay pulled out of me, and I moaned in response, pulling him closer again. He drove into me again with a punishing thrust.
I winced, but I was so wet, practically gushing around him, that it wasn’t as painful. Another trust and I screamed in pleasure, my body tightening as he continued to use me. With his hand around my throat, he pulled me up until I was straddling him.
His cock slipped out almost fully before slamming into me again. “Shhh, be quiet. You don’t want your brother to hear me fucking this tight pussy, do you?”
I buried my face into his neck, my teeth marking his skin, trying so hard to muffle my cries. I closed my eyes and gave myself to him…letting him fuck me senseless in however way he wanted.
His fingers around my throat tightened as he fucked me like an animal. His grunts drove me over the edge, and when I felt his cock swell inside of me, I knew he was close.
His thrusting became faster and harder. With his other arm around my hips, he pulled me down on his hard length at the same time he would thrust upward.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” I screamed into his neck.
I realized…Nikolay wasn’t just fucking me.
He was hate-fucking me. Taking all his anger out in the only way he knew how. He fucked me raw and deep…filled with passion but also with so much hate.
I was rendered powerless as he continued to ram himself into me. Again and again. I bucked into his arms. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to stop or if I was begging him for more.
“You will be the death of me,” he whispered in my ear, his voice hard and strained—filled with dark lust. His fingers released my hips and traveled south between our bodies.
I squeezed my eyes closed, the pleasure too much to bear. A strangled moan ripped from my throat when he pushed his thumb hard against my little bundle of nerves. It was my point of pleasure. I rolled my hips with each of his thrust, matching his movements. I was stretched tightly, almost forcefully around his hard length, and my clit throbbed.
