Elizabeth turned back to him, her brows narrowing in outrage. Why should he be the one who felt angry, when it was she who was being forced into this marriage?
"I cannot run away, my lord. You and my father have cornered me like some fox in a hunt. However, I still don't wish to marry you. Even your kisses could not sway me."
A mischievous light appeared in his eyes. "My kisses do not move you, then?"
"I did not say that, my lord."
"Then what are you saying, Elizabeth? That you do not want to be my wife?"
With a panther-like grace he rose from his seat and strode toward her. Her stomach clenched.
"That you do not wish me to touch you?" His hand reached for hers. "Or that you do not wish me to kiss you?"
His gaze traveled to her lips. "I want you, Elizabeth."
She blinked hard. "Y-you want me?"
The smile he sent her made her heart leap. He kissed her then, brushing his lips against hers with such tenderness tears filled her eyes. "Say you love me, Elizabeth. Say you will marry me, sweetheart"
He wrapped a strong hand around her waist and drew her against him. The sweet familiar scent of bayberry seeped into her senses as she flattened her hands against his chest.
"I think I loved you from the first time I saw you," she whispered.
He groaned into her ear, kissing the soft skin beneath it. "I have waited forever for you, my darling."
He tugged her toward the pianoforte. "See here, I have brought you a present." He reached beside the bench and pulled out a hatbox. He lifted the top, and a small kitten peeped out, its ears twitching curiously. "My mother named him Pharaoh."
Elizabeth's heart swelled as he cupped the tiny kitten in his hands and gently placed it into hers.
"He's the most beautiful one of them all," she whispered, stroking the cat's fur.
Stephen's hand covered hers. "He reminds me of your heart, Elizabeth. So soft and full of life ..."
A lump formed in her throat, and she blinked back tears. "I don't know what to say, except thank you."
"Say you will marry me. I want you. It has nothing to do with your father's money."
Her defenses immediately fell away. She believed him. "Yes, I will marry you."
He cupped her chin. "Don't cry, sweetheart."
"I'm ... crying because I'm happy. I love you."
She pressed a hand to his cheek. "I would trust you with my life just like this kitten trusts me. You would never hurt me."
She waited for him to answer, for him to tell her he loved her, too. Instead, his mouth grew taut and he stepped away.
"Stephen?"
A frown settled in his eyes and a cold numbing silence blanketed the room.
Her heart slipped a notch. He... he didn't love her.
"Elizabeth, there is something I must tell you."
No, please, no!
Before he could speak, the door opened and Milli bounced in.
Elizabeth swallowed, trying to stem her anxiety. "You should knock before you enter a room, young lady."
Milli shrugged, plopping herself onto the sofa. "Oh! The kitten with the black and white paw. May I hold it?"
Elizabeth handed the small ball of fur to Milli. "Get it some milk. I think Pharaoh's hungry."
"Pharaoh, is it? How utterly wonderful!"
Milli frowned, taking in the sight of Lord Stephen's motionless form in the middle of the room. "What's wrong with you? You look as though you sold your soul to the devil."
Stephen's eyes snapped as if Milli had stuck him with a pin. Milli looked back at Elizabeth's flushed face and let out a heavy theatrical sigh.
"Ah," the girl said, petting Pharaoh. "He has told you about Papa, then. I promised not to tell, but since he has told you, well, you can see it is best to have everything out in the open. Secrets should not begin a marriage, you know. I was reading a play once where the lady—"
"Millicent," Stephen interrupted with a deadly calm. He was beside the girl in two seconds. "How would you like to visit Drury Lane later this week?"
Elizabeth's blue eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Told me what about Papa?"
The girl's face lit up with delight. "Drury Lane? You have a box?"
Stephen nodded, taking the girl by the elbow and escorting her toward the door. "I do. You and your sister will be my guests."
"Milli?" Elizabeth's sharp voice cut across the room.
Milli stopped and turned, the kitten riding high on her shoulder. "Hmmm?"
"What is this about Papa?"
The girl's face fell. She regarded the grim expression on the lord's face beside her and backed up toward the door.
"Oh, did I not tell you? He is staying with Lord Baxby for the next few days. You know Papa and Aunt Polly. They fight like cats and dogs." She gave a forced laugh, pulling the kitten to her cheek.
Elizabeth knew her sister was keeping something from her. "What is it, Milli? What are you hiding?"
Milli's eyes grew wide with guilt. "Uh, nothing."
"Run along, Milli." Stephen tapped her shoulder in the direction of the door.
"Milli, stay here."
"Will you two stop throwing me around like some ball? I feel as though Papa were trading me instead of Lizzie here."
Elizabeth froze. "What do you mean, trading?"
Stephen quickly turned toward Elizabeth. "No one traded anyone. It was nothing like that."
Elizabeth felt her breath quicken. "Then why are you two acting like this is some deadly secret? It is not as if I hadn't known about the monetary transaction between Stephen and Papa." But in fact for a few glorious minutes she had almost forgotten all about the arranged marriage and her father's money.
"Monetary transaction?" Milli asked. "Is that what you call it? I had no idea you would take it so well, Lizzie. I would have told you myself. I mean, when I heard that Papa made Lord Stephen pay his debt at the card table by marrying you—"
"Millicent, that is quite enough." At the sound of Stephen's curt command, Milli dashed out of the room.
Pay his debt?
Elizabeth wrapped her hands around her stomach. She could not breathe or remember how. Short gasps of air fell from her mouth. Her legs were unsteady and she fought to stand.
Her father had made this man marry her over a debt? The sudden knowledge pierced her like a spike to the heart.
Stephen had never wanted her at all. She was nothing to him but a wager. And honor demanded he not back down.
A fiery heat spread through her veins. What a fool she had been! An utter fool! She could see it all now. A man like Lord Stephen Clearbrook would never marry for money at all. He had too much integrity to do that.
But he should have told her. It was her life, too.
"Elizabeth, I can explain." His voice was strained.
She shook her head. "Don't come near me."
"Elizabeth, please. You don't understand."
Tears clogged her throat. "Oh, I understand. You owed my father money, and he made you pay your debt by marrying me. Is that not correct, my lord?"
"I lost, Elizabeth. I knew it. He knew it. He would not accept a debt of honor. I had no choice but to accept his terms."
She hurt so deep inside, she felt like crumbling into pieces on the floor and burying herself in grief. Instead, she held her head high, concealing her tears and her heart.
"You never wanted me, then. You did not seek my father out. He sought you. What a silly widgeon you must think I am.”
"No, Elizabeth. I think you everything beautiful."
She could no longer look at him, her heart hurt so. It felt as if someone was squeezing it, twisting it inside and out, until there was no life at all.
"You are free now, my lord." She gave a sad laugh. "I absolve you of this debt."
"But you must marry me."
Grief and anger tossed like a storm in the very core of her being. "I must? Marry a man who is forced to marry me over a debt? How very unconventional for you, the son of
a duke, to marry such a low person as I. Ha, a wagered bride for the lofty Lord Stephen Clearbrook. How very droll. You must have had a good laugh with your brothers."
"It was not like that at all. I wanted to tell you."
"Then why didn't you?"
"It does not matter."
"It matters little to you, but if I marry you, I will have to live with the truth the rest of my life. Every morning when I wake up, I will remember why you married me, what my father did. Every time I touch you, I will remember. Do not think me a fool. Though I may not be of such titled blood as you, I still have a heart that can break, and you may consider it broken."
He grabbed her shoulders. "Elizabeth—"
She didn't give him time to finish. She slapped him hard across the cheek and was instantly horrified at what she had done. What had come over her?
A circle of white formed about his lips.
"You should have told me," she stammered, the tears flowing easily now. "I will never forgive you for this. Never."
She rushed past him and stopped abruptly, seeing her father standing like a statue in the hall.
"How could you do this to me, Papa?" she cried, her tears running in rivulets down her face. "Trade me like some pawn in a chess game? I will never forgive you, either."
Stephen swallowed hard as he watched his beloved race up the stairs, her sobs burning like a white-hot knife to his heart.
His eyes flashed as he turned to William Shelby. "I should have borrowed or stolen the money that night. We have both broken your daughter's heart, and I am not proud of it."
William Shelby pulled at his cravat. "The girl is strong-willed, but in time she will see I did it because I loved her."
Stephen took a step toward the man. "Infernal drivel, Shelby! You did it because you wanted a drop of blue blood in your family. Hell's teeth! Do not speak to me of love."
Shelby's pale lips trembled. "Perhaps I was wrong. I only wanted the best for her."
"Best for her? You forced me upon her. What if I had not been a gentleman, Shelby? Heaven help her. What, then?"
If Shelby could turn any whiter, he did.
Stephen grabbed the man by his neckcloth. "If you were not an old man I would break you in two." Shelby winced.
Stephen dropped his hand, disgusted at the way he himself had hurt Elizabeth. "You don't deserve her. She is everything kind and beautiful. She deserves better than this."
"The engagement? We had a deal. Or are you not a man of your word? I am still holding you to it. Your word of honor."
"There is no engagement," Stephen snapped, knowing it was not as easy as that. "Your daughter is the one who does not wish this marriage. And the devil take it, if you wish to speak of honor, sir, you had best take a fine look at yourself."
Stephen departed in a cloud of fury, sidestepping his carriage and walking back to his brother's home. He wanted to drink himself under the table, but those days were over. He realized that now.
And heaven help him, if he wanted to woo Elizabeth back into his life, he would have to go about it a different way—and swiftly, or he would lose her forever.
Chapter Fifteen
At the sound of the knock, Elizabeth pulled her head from her pillow. "Who is it?"
"It's me. Milli. Can I come in?"
"You are already in." Elizabeth turned her head from her sister and wiped away the rest of her tears with the back of her hand. She could hardly breathe she had cried so much.
"Will you ever forgive me, Lizzie?" Milli's voice cracked with guilt as she walked across the floor. The soft purr of kittens filled the room.
Elizabeth spun around, her sobs barely checked. "Get them out of here, Milli. I never want to see those kittens again." They reminded her too much of him.
"Lizzie! How could you be so monstrous to two innocent kittens? They did nothing wrong."
Elizabeth's lips trembled as she buried her face in her pillow. "I'm sorry. It's just that they bring back memories." She gave a stiff laugh. "How silly the Clearbrooks must have thought me. Oh, Milli, how could you not have told me?"
Milli rushed toward the bed. "Forgive me, Lizzie. I would do anything to make it all better."
Elizabeth stared blankly at the wall beside her. "No one is ever going to choose my husband. Do you understand, Milli? Don't let Papa or anyone decide for you, either."
"I will choose my prince, Lizzie. I certainly shan't let Papa do it!" She hugged the kittens to her breast in such a tight grip they squeaked in protest.
Elizabeth rolled onto her back and sighed. "Oh, Milli. What am I to do? I love him."
"Well, if he loves you back, would you wed him?"
"He doesn't love me, Milli. And if by some miracle he did, I would never know the truth. He would marry me because of Papa. I cannot win either way."
Milli sank into the bed and let the kittens curl up against the pillows. "I can see how it is. You might have to marry Mr. Fennington after all."
"Mr. Fennington is no gentleman, Milli. I would never marry that weasel."
"I should say not," a female voice declared. "However, marrying a wagered bride was not well done of Lord Stephen either."
Both girls looked up as Aunt Polly swooshed into the room.
Elizabeth glanced at Milli. "You told!"
Milli's brows raised about an inch. "Did not. She wiggled it out of me."
Elizabeth threw her hands to her face. "I was such a fool."
Aunt Polly put a comforting palm on Elizabeth's shoulder. "If you marry your lord, all will be forgotten, my dear."
Elizabeth blew her nose. "I... am not... marrying him."
Her godmother pursed her lips. "Well, you cannot dismiss the soiree held at the duke's home tomorrow night. It would be scandalous for you not to appear. Think of Milli's future."
Frowning, Elizabeth looked up. "I forgot about that."
"You must go, my dear. Even if you mean to dissolve the engagement. You must hold your head high and show everyone that you are Miss Elizabeth Shelby, and you are made of the same flesh and blood as the rest of them."
"I will go, but after it is all over, I want you to promise me I can stay at your cottage in the country."
Milli looked horrified. "But you cannot run away!"
"I am not running away. I just need some time to think everything out. No one is going to run my life anymore. Not Papa, and certainly not Lord Stephen Clearbrook."
"The cottage will be available, my dear. And I will care for Milli while you are gone."
Glumly, Elizabeth nodded. She would not let her father or Stephen determine her life. Perhaps she would make her way to France and set up shop. She would administer her remedies to pets, and if asked, to people, too. She would live her own life and never ever fall in love again.
"I believe you have gone out of your mind! I will certainly not give you that amount of money!"
Stephen slapped his hands on the duke's desk. "I need the money now! I can pay you back, even if I lose. My business ventures have become quite lucrative. It's just that I don't have that amount on me now, and there are no debts in the game tonight. For the love of King George, I know I said I would never come to you again, but I'm... I'm begging you."
"You are begging me? I never thought I'd see the day."
Stephen had no pride left. If he lost the woman he loved, he would have nothing at all.
"I promise you, Roderick, I will return every penny. But I must play in that game tonight. You cannot be worried about theft. We will be gaming in this very house."
"Thunderation, Stephen. This is maddening."
"Maddening or not, I must have it."
"And what if you lose? What then?"
Stephen made a fist. "I have already lost what is most precious to me. I will pay you back."
Roderick shook his head, throwing his brother the key to his safe. "My money is yours. But I want you to know, I do not condone this action."
Stephen grinned. "Yes, but you have Jane and you are so
very agreeable now that you are married to such a woman."
Roderick's lips curled into a wicked grin. "Quite agreeable, indeed. But I daresay if she gets wind of this escapade I am funding, she will have my head."
Stephen's brown eyes glittered. "An interesting prospect, but alas, one that will never come to pass."
"You know, I do believe Mother picked you up off the street like that cat Elizabeth scooped out of the gutter last week. You never were like the rest of us with your carefree spirit."
Stephen stuffed the money into a sack and strode toward the door, leaving the key to the safe on Roderick's desk. "Thanks. I know I've done some stupid things the past few years, but I've changed. I see things differently now."
"Father didn't die because of you."
Stephen's boots halted. A brittle silence ensued as the two brothers stared at one another.
"You knew?" Stephen finally asked.
"I eventually put two and two together. You argued with Father before he was killed and you took the blame. I thought time would be your friend, but it became your enemy instead. I was the oldest, Stephen. I knew Father loved another. Oh, not a mistress, but a lady whom he cherished from afar. I just didn't know who it was until Emily married. I also saw our mother's pain. I tried to ignore it because there was nothing I could do."
Stephen rubbed a hand across his face as painful memories clouded his vision. "It was more than that, Roderick. I killed a man in the war. He—dash it all... he had children."
"It was war, Stephen. We are all mortal beings with faults." The duke poured his brother a glass of sherry. "Take this. And know that many men have had to kill in war. It's something I have done myself. However, carrying the guilt for two men's deaths is not right. Ask forgiveness from God, forgive yourself, and move on."
"Yes, move on," Stephen muttered, realizing Roderick was right. Why had he not seen it before? The past seemed behind him now, but what of his future? What of Elizabeth?
"I never knew for certain your role against Napoleon," he said to Roderick, "but now I believe you were a secret agent of sorts. You seem to have answers for everything."
Roderick's right brow rose. "You always had a vivid imagination, even as a child. But I have heard some things about you and Wellington, so I believe we are even. Except it seems we have a hero in our midst who for some humble reason is keeping it a secret."
The Wagered Bride (The Clearbrooks) Page 19
