Raven turned his hand and took her small hand in his large palm, rubbing his thumb back and forth over the top of her hand as he looked into her eyes. Her nearness was starting his heart to race and he was trying to control it.
“I want to be your friend,” she murmured.
“How much of a friend?” he asked, leaning closer to her, as he held her hand more tightly.
“The kind of friend that can trust each other,” she whispered. “Someone to feel comfortable around.”
“Do you feel comfortable around me?” he asked.
“More than I should be, I think,” she admitted.
“Do you trust that I will never hurt you?” he asked.
“I think I do,” she murmured.
“Will it upset you if I touch you again?” he asked hesitantly.
“The way you have touched me in the past keeps playing in my head. I don’t think I can stop it,” she said honestly.
“I can’t get it out of my head either,” he told her. “The need for you is too strong. I don’t know how to control it.”
“Maybe I don’t want you too,” she whispered. “It’s just that I can’t become your wife. Once we come to the end of all this, we have to go our separate ways.”
Raven let out a low groan. She was asking him for the impossible. If he started to touch her again, he would never want to stop. He would never want to go his separate way.
He felt her hand reach up and touch his cheek, turning his face to look at her.
She could see the pulse in his neck working overtime, as his jaw clenched in frustration.
“You want me to have you and yet not have you,” he grumbled, reaching his hand up and covering her hand on his cheek. “You want to torture my soul,” he cried.
“I don’t know what else to do,” she responded. “I know I want your touch. I just don’t know what to do once I have it.”
Raven suddenly grabbed her to him and held her tightly, trying to resolve his own yearnings. He knew if he let himself have what he wanted, later he would have to sacrifice it all. He was trying to decide if it was worth it all? He could treat her like the precious flower that she was, never to wilt her petals, or he could take her savagely until she relented in the end, once he had plucked that sacred flower.
She wanted him without any consequences, and he didn’t think that was possible. Even if she remained a virgin in his care, her heart would be embedded in his soul forever. So be it, he said to himself at last. Her heart was already embedded in his soul, what more did he have to lose?
With one swift move, Raven pulled away Marcel’s wrapper, gazing at her wide eyes as she shivered in her thin nightgown. He lifted the nightgown over her head and tossed it away to lie limp in the sand. Raven noticed she looked a little frightened, but he didn’t care. She was putting him through his own type of pain without even caring about his aching heart.
“You want to feel my touch?” he asked. “Then it is yours,” he muttered as he dragged her down beside him on his cot roll in the dry creek bed, his hands and mouth began to prepare her to accept that touch she so boldly admitted she longed for. She just didn’t know what she was asking for, is all, he thought.
Raven listened to her whimpers as his mouth roved over her, coaxing her need to the surface, waiting for the moment when his own need could be fulfilled whether she became his wife or not. Had he thought he could persuade her to eventually become his wife, he would have pursued that course, but she made it seem hopeless. If there was no hope, he would take what he wanted until they were forced to part. She would only have herself to blame in the end, he thought, trying to justify his actions.
Marcel was torn between excitement and alarm. Raven seemed desperate to touch her body, causing her desire to grow with overwhelming precision. His every touch… His every kiss upon her body was focused on bringing her into a web of pleasure she had not thought possible. With every catch of her breath, Raven proceeded with bold progress, to bring her to the next heart-throbbing moment. What he was doing could not be resisted. She didn’t wish to resist. She wished it to proceed in the direction he was leading it, without question or caution.
Marcel hadn’t expected the outcome, only by that time, it was too late. He was taking her completely and as she started to resist, he merely proceeded with greater effort to persuade her to comply. Then a strange awareness came over her that she too had found a different kind of pleasure, in what he was persuading her to do. It was a pleasure that went beyond everything she had expected. She felt herself clutching Raven to her, lifting to his every move, becoming engulfed by his kisses, as they moved together toward one goal. It was a goal she wasn’t sure she should seek. Nonetheless, there was no stopping it now. The race was on and she was part of that race, her heart galloping ahead of her soul, her body trying to keep up with both.
Marcel’s fingers gripped against that strong back, trying to meld herself into a need stronger than her reluctance to become Raven’s wife. It was a need that overwhelmed her in such a way that the only end was to embrace it and race toward it without question, never thinking of the consequences but only the promised reward. The anticipation was all-consuming and she knew that Raven was consumed with it as well.
The reward took over with astonishing surprise as her body shivered with the discovery of it, while Raven achieved his own desire. She could barely breathe. She could barely think. She felt detached from her body, floating in a mist of wonder that overwhelmed her to think it could be attained.
Then she was floating back to earth, feeling Raven’s arms around her, his soft kiss upon her lips, the slight movement as he clutched her tighter to him as though he refused to release her. She didn’t want him to release her. She snuggled her head into his shoulder, basking in the afterglow.
“You are mine until we part,” Raven whispered.
She didn’t answer. On some level, she knew he was right. She couldn’t be anything else but his, after this, she thought.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asked softly when she didn’t answer.
“No,” she said. “I…I hadn’t known what it would be like. At first, I was frightened, but you didn’t hurt me.”
“Good,” he said, kissing her forehead. “Be still. The night is still young.”
Marcel found herself falling asleep against Raven’s shoulder until she was awakened by his soft kisses bringing her alive again. By morning, Marcel knew the only place she would ever feel secure was in Raven’s arms, but she could not envision herself becoming his wife. Only what else was she to do? He had compromised her completely.
When Trapper Dan stumbled out from under the wagon, he discovered Marcel and Raven wrapped in each other’s arms, a blanket thrown over them.
“Well, I’ll be,” he mumbled. “Will miracles ever cease?”
He pushed Raven with the toe of his boot. “Bout time we get ta movin’,” he mumbled. “Hope ya didn’t ware yerselves out last night.”
Raven opened his eyes and smiled. “I think Marcel and I have come to an understanding,” he said.
He wrapped the blanket around Marcel and carried her to the wagon, placing her in her cot. “You should rest,” he told her.
He didn’t want to lose the moment. There was plenty of time to discuss things later, he told himself. For right now, he just wanted to savor the evening as he rode his horse along the trail beside the wagon with Trapper Dan’s horse tied to the back.
By noon, Marcel had gotten dressed and climbed out onto the bench beside Trapper Dan. He gave her a smile and glanced over at Raven.
“Seems the two of you are getting’ on well enough,” he said. “Fer awhile thar, I was worried we would all have ta have a pow wow an smoke a peace pipe tagather.”
“Raven seems to be very persuasive,” Marcel admitted, gazing at Raven as he looked over his shoulder at her.
“He is rather likable,” Trapper Dan insisted. “I’ve liked em fine all these years,” he smiled.
“
Only you both know… he wants me to become his wife. How could that ever happen?”
“There are ways. It just takes compromise, is all,” Trapper Dan sighed.
“My brother would disown me if I brought a Sioux with me to Oregon.”
“Seems he has pretty much washed his hands of you already. Besides, I don’t think Raven would come ta Oregon with ya.”
“If he wants me, that’s where I’m heading. I’m not living in some Sioux village, I can tell you that!”
“I suppose thar’s plenty of time before ya have ta make a final decision,” Trapper Dan said.
“What’s happening ahead?” Marcel asked all of a sudden. “There are a bunch of Indians on the rise up there!”
“Sioux. They look angry but Raven can handle it.”
Raven had already seen the band with their war paint on and their weapons at the ready. He gave his horse a kick and sped ahead to intercept the group.
Trapper Dan and Marcel watched at a distance, as the band talked with Raven. After a bit, Raven returned to the wagon.
“Seems they are angry about another tribe huntin’ in thar territory. They asked if we had seen any other Indians hunting around these parts. I believe it is safe to pass. We should be reaching Fort Laramie in a week, I’m thinking.”
“Ya know Fort Laramie is owned by Bernard Pratte an John Cabanne of the American Fur Company.” Trapper Dan told Marcel. “ It’s one of the two existin’ Adobe forts in the area. It’s up on North Platte near its junction with the Laramie River. Fort John, the other Adobe fort is about a mile away an is located on the Laramie fork of the North Platte River. It is an old American Fur company post, owned by Messres, Sybille, and Adams, who represents a rival fur company headquartered in St. Louis. I’ve been takin’ my furs ta Hudson Bay in St. Louis cuz I get better prices thar, only the prices have been fallin’ off lately.”
“The territory surrounding the forts is occupied by several different Sioux tribes living in villages of three-hundred ta two-thousand. Teepees the Indians live in are considered the cleanest, most comfortable habitations occupied by any of the tribes.” Trapper Dan winked at Marcel. “Sioux ain’t as bad as ya seem ta think,” he said.
“However, I’m sad ta tell ya. Raven and maself will hafta part ways with ya when we reach Laramie. That’s whare his tribe lives, an I have a cabin not far away, whare I do most of ma trappin’.” He gave Marcel a serious look, as he watched her face fall.
“I hadn’t thought you would be going your own way so soon,” she mumbled.
“Well, I toldja we waren’t goin’ alls the way ta Oregon,” he said solemnly.
“Even if I could catch up with the company, I could never keep up with them,” Marcel mumbled.
He didn’t respond to her statement. Instead he said, “I must say, it’s been a pleasure ta have traveled with ya. I think both Raven and I will miss ya.”
“I’ll miss you both too,” Marcel said sadly.
CHAPTER SEVEN
arcel could detect the sad look in Raven’s eyes as he took to sleeping with her in the wagon each night. It felt safe and warm to have Raven’s arms around her at night, only she knew it wasn’t going to last. She also knew there was no way to convince Raven to come with her to Oregon since Trapper Dan insisted he wouldn’t come. Therefore, she didn’t ask him to come and resigned herself to the fact that she only had a few precious days to have Raven at her side and in her bed at night.
Trapper Dan could hear the creaking of the wagon above his head and he smiled sadly to himself. He knew it would break Raven’s heart to have to part with the lass, but there was nothing for it. She couldn’t stay with him in his village, and he was pretty sure Raven would not leave his village to live in white man’s country. It was a wonder that Trapper Dan had been able to domesticate Raven as much as he had over the years. Only he was pretty sure there was a line Raven would never cross, and that was to completely embrace the white man’s ways.
Yet, it was his decision, Trapper Dan told himself. The problem was if Raven chose to follow along with Marcel, it was probably pretty certain Trapper Dan would never see his friend again or her either, for that matter. The thought was sobering and he knew exactly how Raven must feel. Trapper Dan was missing Marcel already and he realized he was a little in love with her himself.
Life had its ups and downs, though, he told himself firmly. He had had his share and he was certain both Marcel and Raven would have theirs too.
As the wagon approached Fort Laramie, Marcel sat atop Trapper Dan’s horse, looking down on the affair. The teepees that surrounded the fort were ornamented with various fancy and colorful designs. Raven informed her they represented their own mystic powers. The village was very picturesque with scalps of long black hair floating in the wind atop the high pole, which decorated most of the teepees.
Marcel thought about how Josiah had claimed Raven would scalp her, and she idly wondered who those scalps belonged to? Indians and trappers were milling about, talking, trading and occupying themselves in one way or another. Many of them looked up at the wagon’s approach. Though they took in the immense size of the wagon as it passed, they otherwise, did not seem surprised or even very interested in the fact the group had come.
The fort itself looked like some ancient castle, its large white, square edifice glistening in the sun. The top of the walls had notches, like a castle, along a long walk where the guards could look out and steady their rifles within the notches. A large wooden gate barred the entrance through the wall, keeping it secure during tumultuous times of a possible attack. However, at the present, the gates were open. While everything appeared peaceful, the fort was set up for complete protection, once the gates were secured and everyone was inside.
Marcel noticed a ring of wagons, in the distance, and she saw other travelers coming and going through the gates.
“The wagons stop hare ta make repairs when they need ta.” Trapper Dan said. “They ken get thar horses shod at one-dollar a foot, or if they have thar own equipment, they ken rent a blacksmith’s shop fer six-dollars a day. I betcha the group ya came with is hare getting’ repairs an whatnot.”
As he said the words, Marcel saw Josiah approaching her.
“I couldn’t mistake that wagon for any other than ours,” he smiled up at her. “I see you made it safely.” He gazed over the three of them. “I didn’t know you could ride,” he mumbled.
“Well, I can. I can do a lot of things you may not expect,” she stated.
“Is your virtue still intact?” he asked bluntly.
“If you are asking if Raven raped me, the answer is no,” Marcel said pointedly, leaving out the truth of the matter, otherwise.
“Well, I must happily inform you that I married the widow Johnson. Actually, her name is Mary.”
“What?” Marcel almost shrieked. “She must be years older than you, Josiah! Why did you ever do that? You didn’t even have a church wedding and wait so I could attend?”
“Doesn’t matter. There was a preacher in the company that read the wedding rites. The nights were cold and her body was warm. We just fell into being together and I decided to make an honest woman out of her since her son needed a father anyway. However, it means my concern lies with building a house for her and her son now. I don’t think I will be able to help you out in that department. I am sure your friends here may be willing to help you build yourself a house to put all that furniture in.”
Marcel widened her eyes. Josiah was abandoning her altogether now!
“What kind of loyalty is that?” she spat. “You are my brother. We were supposed to go on this adventure together!”
“Seems you’ve started your own adventure, Marcel. I must stay loyal to my wife now. You can get your own plot of land and do as you please, but I still don’t believe you can continue to bring all that clutter in your wagon with you. The trail is not going to get any easier, according to Captain Camden.”
“You are going to leave me to build my house
on my own?” she gasped.
“Like I said. Have your friends help you.”
“My friends, are not going the rest of the way with me. This was where they were headed to, not to Oregon. I thought when you saw I could make it this far, you would be willing to reconsider and ride with me again. This is the end of the trail for Trapper Dan and Raven. I would have to start driving the wagon all alone, the rest of the way from here if you don’t help me.”
“I have other obligations now and we are entering Indian territory. It would be very unwise for you to continue on your own. You could probably remain here at Fort Laramie until someone came along that could help you drive your wagon. It was your idea to bring too much weight in that big wagon, so you are going to have to live with that decision, or get rid of half of it and join our group again.”
“We had an agreement, Josiah! Not only have you reneged on the original agreement, but you have pulled out of the agreement altogether! Now you want me to change my own plans because you could not keep your word? I hate to even admit that you are my brother! Your indifference to me cannot be forgiven! Go and accomplish your own goals if you must, but don’t call me your sister in the future! Come hell or high-water, I will make it through to Oregon in spite of you!”
Marcel turned her back to her brother and climbed down from her horse. She looked up at Raven, who swung down beside her.
“I will never forget you,” she murmured, throwing her arms around his neck.
“Stay here with me,” Raven begged, clutching her to him.
“You know I can’t,” she mumbled in his neck. “I’m not giving up. The whole world can be against me, with the whole Sioux nation swarming down on me, but I won’t give up until I have reached Oregon with my belongings or I am dead and buried. Whichever comes first!”
“It is not just the Sioux that you should fear. There are other tribes that could harm a lone traveler trespassing on Indian land. The thought of something happening to you…”
Raven did not finish the statement. Instead, he grabbed Marcel closer and placed his mouth over hers. “Say you’ll stay!”
Sagebrush Serenade Page 7
