by Eden Summers
After they arrived at his apartment and unpacked their bags, they made the short walk to the Dock & Grill, right on the water at the Central Pier. The atmosphere was quiet for a Friday night and gave them a chance to catch up on each other’s lives since Megan had moved to Sydney.
“So what are you going to do about Beth?”
Hearing her name in a soft, somber tone made his mouth dry. Taking the time to lift the last bite of steak to his mouth he chewed, pausing before he answered. “Not much I can do. I could offer her job back, but she wouldn’t take it. She’s too proud and independent.” He shrugged, trying to act blasé when he felt anything but. “And when she won’t give me a chance to explain, there’s nothing I can do. The best thing for me is to move on.”
“But you’re home now. You can go to her, speak to her face-to-face. Make her listen. She’s worth the extra effort, isn’t she?”
Yes, he could go to her, but he’d had enough time to realize Beth deserved better. He’d known all along, and the situation with his father only cemented the conclusion. He now needed to take a step back and let her go. It wouldn’t be easy. He still pictured her face in his mind every second of the day. Her soft lips, the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled, how her cheeks flushed the sweetest shade of pink when she felt embarrassed, the way…
As if conjured from his memories, Dean caught sight of a woman who looked entirely like Beth. She wore a stylish black dress which stopped at her knees, scooping low at her back, and glossy black shoes to match. He also recognized the man walking with her.
His beer hit the table with a thud as he watched one of his business rivals, William Tundall, place a hand just above her ass and open the door. He tried to convince himself the lady couldn’t be Beth, and then she turned to peer over her shoulder, fixing William with a friendly smile.
Son of a bitch. It was Beth.
“What is it?”
He spared Megan a fleeting glance before his gaze darted back to Beth. She surveyed the room in slow motion, her body turning back the way they were heading. Dean held his breath unsure what he should do and, as if he’d shouted her name, she stared directly at him.
Her mouth opened and she paused in the doorway.
Dean sat there, stunned, the whole world fading to black while he stared at her face. Nothing else existed except for the two of them. He didn’t dare move, hoping if he kept staring at her maybe she would smile. Maybe she would give him a sign that her feelings for him weren’t in a pile of ash at his feet.
But he’d never been a lucky man, and all he could do was watch, frozen to his chair as she turned and walked through the door.
“Was that her?”
He couldn’t answer, didn’t want to speak for fear he would choke over the lump in his throat. Instead he gripped the table, not sure if he braced himself to leave or held himself from running after her.
“You should go,” Megan encouraged. “Go after her, Dean. Tell her everything you told me. Don’t let her go until she’s heard it all.”
His fingers dug deeper into the table, his nails protesting over the pain. He’d never chased a woman before, had never found one worth the effort. Beth’s worth wasn’t the issue, though. He’d go to the ends of the earth for her; he’d give up anything—everything. But in the end could he make her happy? Did he deserve her?
“Bloody hell,” he barked and pushed from his stool. “I’ll be back soon.”
“Take your time,” he heard Megan reply as he rushed after Beth, now eager to catch up to her.
* * *
Beth increased her pace with William taking long strides to keep up beside her. She didn’t know what to do. At first glance her heart had fluttered like a traitor, ecstatic to see Dean again, but her mind told her to run. Run, Dorothy, run.
When would the seesawing emotions stop? She couldn’t stand the thought of talking to him. To stand there and listen while he tried to manipulate her and swing the situation around to make himself appear like a saint. However, she also ached to hear his footsteps chasing after her, to call her name and beg her to stop.
The mix of hope and sadness in his eyes had made her heart clench. His acting skills were astounding. Not good enough for the beautiful woman sitting next to him to skip her attention, though. She wanted to laugh at her own stupidity. Dean had already moved on and Beth still dreamed of a flowery resolution.
De-lu-sion-al.
“You OK?” William panted in a soft voice. She felt guilty for using him like a shield. In a short space of time the charming man had given her a brighter outlook on her future. William had previously been the product manager at Sutherland & Son, but left for a better position at a rival company. When he heard through a mutual acquaintance about Beth’s unemployed situation, he called her and offered a position with Tycana, another big-name product manufacturer.
“I’m fine.” She glanced at Will with a smile. The night had been going so well. She’d agreed to meet him and his work colleagues for drinks, and for the first time in five days a smile had warmed her expression.
The feeling of elated hope lasted until Dean filled her vision. Then it was straight back to heartache.
“You seem nervous all of a sudden. If I’ve made you uncomfortable by walking you out alone, then I—”
The remainder of his words fell on deaf ears as the sound of running footsteps came from behind them.
“Beth!” Dean’s pleading shout weakened her legs and her ankle wobbled with her next step.
“Are you OK?” William asked again.
She focused on the cab dead ahead and increased her pace. “I’m fine. I just need to get out of here.”
“Beth!” Dean’s voice was a command. “Just give me a minute to explain.”
Her feet tingled in preparation to run. She never wanted to speak to Dean again. The wish was unrealistic, though. If she accepted the position with Tycana, they would mingle in the same circles and were bound to see each other in the near future. She needed to get the awkward situation over and done with.
She paused, focusing on William’s concerned expression as she waited for Dean to approach. “Thanks for walking me out, Will. I’ll be OK from here.”
His gaze searched hers, his brow creasing in concern. “Are you sure?”
She nodded with the best smile she could muster.
“You have my number if you need me.”
She squeezed his arm. “Thank you, for everything.”
William was already five feet away and heading back to the Dock & Grill when Dean came to a stop in front of her. She took a deep breath, already able to smell his seductive aftershave, and braced herself for battle.
He stood before her for a silent moment, his expression and posture defeated. The shadows under his eyes made him appear lost and she’d never seen him with stubble so thick.
He reached up, heading toward the stray lock of hair resting on her cheek. For a split second her eyes closed, anticipating the warm caress of his fingers, the heat his touch would spark in her chest.
Before he made contact and scorched her irreparably, she took a step back. “Please don’t touch me.”
A deep exhale released from his lungs and his hand fell away. “I’m sorry.”
She waited in silence, biting back the questions that slammed into the forefront of her mind. What are you sorry for? For making me lose my job? For treating me like one of your easy conquests? For pretending to be someone you’re not—someone with a heart and conscience? Someone I began to fall in love with? Instead of voicing the ramble, she bit her lip, letting her teeth sink deep so it alleviated some of the pain in her chest.
“I completely messed up and I know I’m an asshole, but I’ve worked things out with my father and you can come back to work.”
She raised her eyebrows, shocked at his stupidity. He was more delusional than she was if he thought she would come back to work for Sutherland & Son after the humiliation he’d put her through.
“Wow. Thank yo
u.” She knew he wouldn’t mistake her sarcasm. “Is the friendly offer to sleep with your father still up for grabs?”
“Beth…” He glanced away, staring into the night.
The little angel on her shoulder told her to back off and acknowledge the pain in his eyes. But the devil on the other screamed for blood. She wanted to regain some of her dignity.
“I’m sorry to be rude, but I’ll have to decline your extremely tempting offer. As much as I enjoy being treated like a whore, I think it would be better if I moved on.”
His brow furrowed. Yes, I’ve changed Dean. I’m jaded now. Before the conversation went any further, she turned her back and started toward the cab rank.
“Beth, I…”
When his warm hand gripped her arm, halting her movement, she almost sobbed. Turning sharp on her heels, she faced him. If all her tears hadn’t been shed during the week, she would have started blubbering all over again from the despair in his eyes.
No! He had no right to be hurting. He’d lost nothing and she’d lost everything. He still had his career; his bed was still full of eager lovers; his heart was still intact. He had no right to look at her like that. No…right.
She twisted her arm from his grasp and pushed him away as hard as she could, slamming her fists into his chest. All the pain, all the sorrow, all the heartache released from her body in one mighty thud.
He grunted and fought for balance, his eyes now wide with surprise. A gasp escaped her lips at the shock of her own brutality, and without conscious thought, she grabbed for him. Her hands grasped his wrists, pulling them closer together as disgust began to eat away at her. What had she turned into?
She stared into Dean’s face with shame and tried to bite back the apology resting on the tip of her tongue. He may have caused her emotional pain, but she had no right to strike out at him.
When his eyelids closed and remained shut, she didn’t know what else to do except continue holding on to him. He seemed in need of an anchor. And no matter how much pain he’d inflicted, she couldn’t stand to turn her back on him.
He opened his eyes, revealing dark irises glazed in emotion. She didn’t know if it was from her aggressive blow or something else, but the sight caused her own eyes to burn and a cry exploded from her chest. She needed to turn away, to mentally say good-bye to this beautiful man for good, before she lost herself completely.
Dean stepped into her, his arms moving from her grip to wrap around her back. He brought her into the warmth of his chest, holding her tight until she collapsed into him. His embrace felt like home and love and happiness, a sensation she had only ever experienced in his arms.
It was a lie.
“No,” she whispered, shaking her head, breaking free of his grasp.
“Please, just come back inside. Give me some time to explain.”
Back inside where he had another woman waiting. She stepped back and his hands traced down her arms until they fell limp at his sides. Closing her eyes for a moment, she savored their last touch, memorizing the gentle caress of his strong fingers.
“Good-bye, Dean.”
Before she allowed a single tear to fall, she did the hardest thing she had ever done in her life. She turned and walked away from the man she loved, hoping with every broken beat of her heart that she would never see him again.
* * *
Dean slumped into his armchair, the squeak of leather breaking the silence in his apartment. His sister had been eye stalking him since he walked back into the Dock & Grill and the shadow was starting to piss him off. He wanted to be alone, to succumb to his anger and frustration and let loose with a few stray swings at the plasterboard walls. The physical pain of a couple broken knuckles would be a lot less excruciating than the suffocating band around his chest. The unrelenting throb wouldn’t go away.
“So what is your plan of attack?”
He wanted to ignore Megan and her need to fix something that was irreparable. Instead he peered out at the Melbourne skyline, seeing nothing but Beth’s face in the reflection of the glass. “It’s over. Just leave it alone.”
“She isn’t worth it then?”
He sister baited him, and even though he knew what she was doing, the deliberate jab didn’t stop his head from pounding in anger. “Drop it, Megan.”
“I’m just asking, big brother, ’cause frankly I don’t understand. You’re acting like it’s the end of the world, yet here you are sitting on your butt doing nothing. You either want her or you don’t. If you want her, you should stop at nothing to get her back.”
His pain boiled and bubbled, making his words come out in a yell. “It’s too late. She already hates me.”
He tried. He called more times than he cared to remember. He’d done the clichéd forgive-me scene with flowers and balloons. And he’d even swallowed his pride and ran after her on the dock. At some point he needed to suck it up and deal.
That time was now.
“If you think about it a bit harder, you’ll realize her feelings are probably the complete opposite. If you meant nothing to her, why wouldn’t she speak to you? If she didn’t feel just as strongly as you, she would have listened to your excuses and fobbed you off without a second thought. But to me it seems like she’s too heartbroken to bear the thought of seeing you. You need to make her listen. Do some grand gesture to make her fall for you again.”
“My life isn’t a fucking movie.” He pushed from the chair, needing to pace out his frustrations before he cracked for good.
Silence made the air thick between them, the moments passing with the tick, tick, tick of his kitchen clock. His sister may be the type to believe in unicorns and happily-ever-afters, but he sure as hell didn’t.
He’d experienced the jagged edge of betrayal and realized firsthand that love didn’t involve skipping through the park with fluffy bunnies bouncing around your feet. If love did exist, it wasn’t something that came around very often, and he wouldn’t be a guy deserving of the blessing.
The time had come to concentrate on something else, to focus on his new position in the company and throw himself into his work. Twice he’d been kicked in the stones because of love. He wouldn’t be stupid enough to prolong the latest experience—or go in search of it again.
Chapter Sixteen
“You need to sort your shit out?”
Beth’s eyes widened at Angela’s greeting on Sunday afternoon. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me, sugar. Ain’t nothing wrong with your ears. You need to sort your shit out.”
Beth took a step back from the front door and Angela walked into her house. She carried an office box in her hands and without a backward glance proceeded to go down the hall.
Okeydoke. Well, good afternoon to you, too. “And what shit would that be?” Beth asked, following Angela into the living room where she had dropped onto the couch, the box at her feet.
Angela rolled her eyes. “Dean! You know the guy whose baloney pony you were riding last weekend? Yeah, him. You need to sort him out.”
Beth sighed and began to massage her forehead. “Ange, I’m not—”
“Zip it, chickadee. I don’t want to hear excuses. You already hung up on me once. All I want you to do is listen, so sit down.”
Beth ignored her instruction, too exhausted to argue. “I’m going to make a coffee. You want one?” Angela wouldn’t leave without speaking her mind. The situation would be slightly bearable on a caffeine high.
“Grrr.” Angela actually growled at her. “You can’t brush me off forever, but of course I would love a coffee.”
Beth let out a halfhearted chuckle and strode into the kitchen. The thought of Dean no longer upset her; she’d moved past that. Now his occupation in her mind only made her tired. Not just head tired, but an exhaustion that sunk bone deep down to the marrow. She wanted to forget him, because every minute of the day he floated into her thoughts for one reason or another. The worst part was the pleasurable memories. The good times were always at the for
efront of her mind. The way he brought a smile to her face with a mere glance, how he touched her with reverence, or the way he opened up and showed a side of himself she never knew existed. It wasn’t until she found herself smiling into space that she would remember their time together had been an act.
Beth filled the kettle and Ange perched herself on the kitchen counter, legs hanging loose while she peered at Beth with a playful smile.
“Well, go ahead. Say what you’re going to say.”
“OK, here goes…” Angela rubbed her hands together as if about to divulge an exciting plan. “You need to make up with Dean.”
Beth couldn’t even muster a laugh. “Not gonna happen.”
“Just hear me out. When you told me you were fired and Dean only slept with you to get back at his father, I didn’t think much about it. I mean apart from wanting to kneecap both the Sutherland men and feeling sorry as hell for you, I didn’t analyze it much.” Angela shrugged. “We all knew Dean was a player, so the whole sexual betrayal thing didn’t seem out of character. And I assumed the wild monkey sex on the weekend had something to do with you being fired.” Ange took a deep breath. “Anyway, after the whole big barney between Dean and his father, I started thinking. Why would he go to such great lengths to make his father stand down as managing director if he didn’t care about you?”
Beth’s back snapped to attention and she looked over her shoulder to stare at Angela.
“Oh yeah, you didn’t know about that, did you? Maybe if you didn’t hang up on me the other day you would have learned that little tidbit sooner. So yeah, Max is leaving. I don’t know all the details, but from what I can gather, Dean went majorly ape shit over you being fired and gave his father an ultimatum. Either step down and let him run the business or he’ll leave. Seems to me he felt pretty strongly about his father giving you the ax.”
Beth went back to preparing the coffee, turning her back on Angela to scoop the sugar into each mug. She couldn’t handle the scrutiny right now. A rush of hope began warming her cheeks and she didn’t want Angela to know how hung up on Dean she still was.
