by Peggy Webb
“What do you mean, sneaking up on me like that?” She straightened and faced him defiantly.
“I didn’t sneak. As a matter of fact, I made quite a bit of noise. You were so engrossed, you didn’t hear me.”
She pushed her hair back from her forehead, a gesture of frustration he remembered from years gone by.
“Well, why didn’t you say something?”
“And spoil all the fun? The view was absolutely entrancing.”
Her face flamed even brighter. “Tanner Donovan! That’s just like you. Always taking what you want without asking.”
“An apt choice of words.” Tossing his hat onto a chair, he left the doorway and stalked her. “I want something from you, Amanda, and I’ve come to get it.”
She moved out of his reach, putting the trunk between them. He had the nerve to laugh. She could have screamed.
“Didn’t you vow you’d never run from me?”
“I’m not running. I’m merely standing over here until you tell me what you want and until I can decide whether I’ll give it to you.”
“It’s no fun if I have to ask.” He feinted a pass, then closed in for a touchdown. Standing behind the trunk with her pinned against his chest, he smiled. “I forgot to kiss you good-bye, Amanda.”
“An oversight we could both live with.” She shoved against him. “Don’t be fooled into thinking that the Hershey bars softened me up. I’ve made up my mind. I’ll resist you or die trying.”
“I can think of better ways to die. For instance, this.” His mouth crushed down on hers. It wasn’t a good-bye kiss, it was an explosive assault.
Determined to hold him off, she struggled briefly in his arms. Then the drugging power of Tanner Donovan took over. She could no more have resisted than she could have flown to Tahiti without a plane. She welcomed him, reveled in him, feasted on him. The incredible joy of being held by him blotted out everything else.
Need flamed in her. She pressed closer, trying to merge her body with his. Vaguely she was aware of soft sounds, whimperings of desire that were her own. He’d know. The thought flitted through her mind. He’d know how much she wanted him, but she didn’t care. Nothing mattered at that moment except being in Tanner’s arms, being kissed by him.
She absorbed him, the familiar taste of him, fresh and delicious and somehow very masculine; the familiar shape of his mouth, beautifully molded and firm, exactly right for kissing; the familiar feel of him, broad and solid and enduring. Home, she thought. Home is being held next to Tanner’s heart.
She felt him pulling back, ending the kiss.
“No.” She wound her hands in his hair and pulled his head back down. She didn’t care what he thought: She had to have more of him. Something to get her through the rest of the day and the long night ahead.
His lips touched hers again. She could feel the lines of his smile. Let him feel triumphant, she thought. Let him think that he was the victor. She had won, too. She was taking what she wanted, and she would walk away in one piece.
The room became steamy with their harsh breathing. Jungle heat, Amanda thought. She and Tanner wanted each other in a basic, primitive way. Whether it had anything to do with love, she didn’t know. For her part, perhaps it did. But she knew his intentions. He’d made them plain enough. Love was not what Tanner Donovan wanted.
It was that last thought that made her brave enough to back away from him. She called upon an unknown strength to let him go, then broke away and stood back. “You can go now. I took what I wanted.”
He reached out and touched her cheek. She hoped he didn’t feel its heat. Like a fever, Tanner was contagious, and she’d forgotten to stay in quarantine.
“You were always especially beautiful after lovemaking.”
“I suppose your enormous ego makes it necessary for you to exaggerate a simple kiss.”
His laugh was mocking. “Nothing is simple between us, Amanda.” When he removed his hand from her cheek, she felt deprived. “The next time there won’t be clothes between us.”
He picked up his hat and strode toward the door, then he was gone. Amanda cupped her burning cheeks with her hands and groaned. Getting Tanner out of her system was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever done.
CHAPTER FIVE
“Tanner Donovan, if you prowl through this kitchen one more time, you’re going to wear the floor out.”
Anna smiled at him with such fond indulgence that he knew she didn’t mind if he wore fifteen floors out. He scooped an apple out of the bowl on the table as he made another circuit through the house. “Exercise.” He grinned at her over the apple.
“Pooh! You exercise by running all over the county. Seems to me more like restlessness. Did something happen on that surrey ride you want to talk about?”
“Nothing that I can’t forget if I try.”
Anna wiped her hands on a towel and reached up to cup her tall son’s face. “I want you to be happy.”
“I am, Mom. I have everything I need.”
“Except somebody to love.”
He roared with laughter. “If the Donovan clan were any bigger, I’d have to live two lifetimes in order to get around to loving them all.”
“I’m not talking about kinfolk; I’m talking about somebody special.” She turned back to her cooking. “It’s not my way to meddle, but I don’t think you ever got over that Lassiter girl. Land sakes! How you two used to carry on, talking about how Claude would be best man at the wedding, counting the children you’d have. You even said you’d name the first girl after me. I always thought that would be so nice.”
He leaned over and pecked her on the cheek. “I find bachelorhood to my liking. You’ll just have to settle for adorable me.”
She laughed. “You Donovan men. Cocky as the day is long.” She dropped the last of the dumplings into the pot. When she turned around, Tanner had started out the door. “Now where are you going? Supper will be ready in a minute.”
“Outside. Theo’s hellions need some supervision.”
“Supervision, my eye. You’ll be right in the middle of their games, having more fun than they do.”
Tanner winked at his mother. “Don’t tell. I’m trying to change my image.”
“What image?”
“Will-o’-the-wisp.”
He left Anna shaking her head. She’d never understand, he thought. Even he didn’t understand. What did it matter after all these years that Amanda had found Claude’s steadiness more appealing than his will-o’-the-wispness? What in the hell was a will-o’-the-wisp, anyway? He needed to put that woman out of his mind.
He turned his attention to his nephews. “Hey, Raymond, Kenneth—let’s play some ball.”
Theo’s sons galloped toward him on gangly teenage legs, whooping for joy.
“Hey, Uncle Tanner. Show us that play you made in the Super Bowl.”
“Yeah, man. I want to see if you’ve still got the stuff.”
Tanner ruffled their hair. “I’ll show you the stuff.”
The backyard game held his attention for thirty minutes, thirty blessed minutes during which Amanda didn’t invade his mind. Then Kenneth missed a pass. The ball rolled under a holly bush, startling a cardinal into flight. Suddenly Tanner thought of Amanda. It might have been the setting sun shining on the red bird’s wing, reminding him of her hair; or it might have been a flash of memory, a rare white Christmas long ago when he and Amanda had seen a flock of cardinals in the snow. Whatever the reason, he knew that he had to see her. Now.
Promising his nephews another game later in the week, he excused himself and went back into the house. It smelled of Anna’s chicken and dumplings and spiced pumpkin pie. Tanner knew exactly what to do.
“Hey, Mom. Do you still have that big picnic basket?” He strode around the kitchen, pulling open every cabinet door.
“Land sakes! What are you up to now?”
“I’m going on a rescue mission. Do you have plenty of food, enough for me to share with a friend?”
“You know good and well that I always cook enough to feed everybody in Greenville. Would this friend happen to be the same one you took out in the surrey this morning?”
“Now, Mom. Get that gleam out of your eye. It’s not what you’re thinking.”
“How do you know what I’m thinking?”
He laughed. “Weren’t you the one talking about somebody special and wishing for a namesake? I don’t want you to be disappointed. This is not that kind of mission.”
“Hmm.” Anna found the picnic basket and began to stuff it with food. “I hope she has a hearty appetite. I do so like a girl with a hearty appetite.”
Tanner placed the basket in the backseat of his Corvette and backed it out the driveway. As he pointed the car toward Amanda’s house he pressed the button to let his windows down. The evening air was crisp and invigorating. It smelled of the river and pine trees and rich Delta earth. Strings of colored lights and bright tinsel decorating the neighborhood houses lit his way.
A great warmth filled Tanner’s soul. He blamed it on Christmas. As he neared Amanda’s house a song filled his heart. He began to whistle. The song was Someone to Watch Over Me.
o0o
Amanda stood in her bare feet, staring into her refrigerator. As usual, she had given only scant thought to food. It appeared that her choices for an evening meal were limited to cheese and pickles, or pickles and whatever happened to be wrapped in a piece of foil, provided it hadn’t already turned green.
Just before she had left the shop, Maxine had delivered a stern lecture on the consequences of not eating right. As Amanda looked at her paltry food supply, she wished she’d paid more attention. The seven Hershey bars she’d had for lunch were now only a memory, and she was hungry.
She’d just about settled on the cheese and pickles when the doorbell rang.
“Good evening, madame. I’ve come to rescue you from starvation.”
The minute she saw him, she forgot about putting Tanner Donovan out of her system.
“Tanner! You look good enough to eat.”
“So do you.” He held up the picnic basket. “Will this do instead?”
“Do I smell Anna’s chicken and dumplings?”
“Yes, you do. May I come in, or do you plan to attack them on the front porch?”
“Come in, and don’t you dare drop that basket. That woman’s an angel. She must be telepathic. My stomach’s been sending out hunger signals all evening.”
Tanner stepped into the entry hall. “The food is Anna’s, the idea is mine. I plan to be handsomely rewarded.”
“Good Southern girls always say proper thank yous.”
“I was thinking of improper.”
“If I weren’t starving, I’d probably show you the door.”
Tanner took her arm. “You never could tell a lie. Your beautiful eyes give you away.” Leaning down, he kissed her lightly on the lips. “You want me as much as I want you.”
She stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and looked him straight in the eye. “That’s true. If I weren’t so hungry, I’d probably have my way with you right here in the hall. As it is, your virtue is safe with me—at least until after the chicken and dumplings.”
“I’d advise you to eat plenty. You’re going to need all your strength for what I have in mind.”
“Promises, promises.” She took his arm and led him into her kitchen. He looked so perfect leaning casually against her Aunt Emma’s oak butcher-block table, just the way he used to. She’d have to remember that he wasn’t perfect, that love always came second with him.
Turning her back to him, she opened a cabinet and took down a plate. “Have you eaten?”
“No. I brought enough for two.”
“Since you’re supplying the food, I suppose it would be rude of me not to invite you to stay. Why don’t you get the silver? It’s in the same place Aunt Emma used to keep it.”
She watched as he walked to the correct drawer without hesitation. Amazing that after eleven years he remembered such a small detail. She wondered what other small details he remembered.
“How is your Aunt Emma? Mom said that she’s in a nursing home now.”
“Yes. When my parents moved to Nashville, they took her with them.” She placed the plates on a small table underneath a stained-glass window. “Her memory comes and goes. Most days she thinks she’s Betsy Ross. So far she’s stitched about eighty-five stars on a flag she’s making.” Amanda chuckled. “Poor old soul. It’s sad to see a good mind go, but she seems happy.”
Tanner brought the silver to the table. “I’m glad you bought her house. I’ve always liked this house.”
“So have I.”
“Is that four-poster bed still upstairs?”
He was standing so close, she could see the throbbing of his pulse in his throat. Memories and desire washed over her. She clutched the side of the table, hoping it would keep her from grabbing him and never letting go.
“Yes,” she whispered.
When he reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, she thought she’d melt. Instead she stood perfectly motionless, hoping that starvation would keep her from doing something foolish.
“You were wearing green, just as you are now.” His wonderful fingers massaged her through the silk of her blouse. “Remember, Mandy?”
“I don’t want to remember.”
“I think you do.” He caught her other shoulder and turned her slowly toward him. With his forefingers he began tracing a slow line toward her breasts. The heat of his touch coursed through her. She saw the languid look of desire in his eyes as his fingertips found their mark.
“It was in January.”
“February.” She considered it a miracle that she could talk. His hands were working magic, and she was completely under their spell. She could tell by his smile that he knew.
“It was so cold, we had three quilts on the bed.”
“Four.”
“You were wearing my ring. Remember, Mandy?”
She couldn’t talk; she could barely breathe. But with Tanner’s hands on her, she remembered. Oh, how she remembered. They had been newly engaged, full of plans for the future, and very much in love. They’d been house-sitting for Aunt Emma.
“I’ll never forget the way you looked on that bed” —Tanner slowly popped open the top button of her blouse— “with your hair tumbled across the pillows.” He undid the second button and slowly folded the silk aside. “And your eyes, enormous and shining in the moonlight. . .” His hand moved inside to caress her soft skin. “Remember how good it was, Mandy?”
“Oh, yes.” She was so hungry, hungry for Tanner Donovan.
“I want you, Amanda.”
He lowered his face to her neck, and she tangled her hand in his dark hair, holding him there, wanting him so fiercely that she thought denial would kill her.
“Tanner.” The word was a shattered plea. She felt an aching sense of loss when he lifted his head and looked down at her.
“Amanda?”
“I’m . . .” She closed her eyes. There was no way she could regain her composure if she continued staring at him. She wet her dry lips with her tongue. “I’m hungry,” she finally whispered.
With her eyes still closed, she felt his hands on her face, exploring, caressing, remembering.
“So am I. For you.”
“Oh, please, Tanner. Don’t.”
She could feel the tension in his body as he held on to her, his hands moving down the side of her neck, over her shoulders, and down her arms. Opening her eyes, she saw that his struggle for control was as great as her own. She almost changed her mind. She almost yielded to him, fully aware that their loving would be no more to him than banishing old ghosts.
The silence stretched between them. It shouted to them, willing them to recall days gone by, times when they had spent love as freely and carelessly as rich Texans.
But there was no going back. Both of them knew it. The knowledge weighted down their
hearts.
Tanner released her. “Food’s getting cold.”
“Yes.” Amanda clenched her fists to still her shaking hands.
Tanner pulled out her chair, and she sat down. “Thank you.”
“Just my natural good Southern manners.”
“Not for the chair, for letting me go.”
“Don’t assign any lofty motives to me. I fully intend to bed you. But first I’m going to build up your endurance. Eleven years of deprivation won’t be assuaged in a couple of hours.”
The tenderness in his face belied his callous words. She had to look away from him to keep from reading into his look things she knew weren’t there—love, and desire for a commitment. After buttoning her blouse, she lifted the container full of Anna’s chicken and dumplings from the picnic basket and filled their plates. She could feel Tanner’s gaze on her, watching every move.
She wished she could wave a wand over them and wipe out the past. She wished there were magic words that would make starting over possible, but there was too much between them—loss of faith, loss of confidence. Most of all there was Claude. Whatever she and Tanner felt in each other’s arms, she could never change the fact that she’d jilted him and married his best friend. She could hardly blame the man for wanting revenge. And yet she’d felt betrayed too. She never would have turned to another man if she hadn’t felt that Tanner had placed a career and a chance at fame ahead of their relationship.
It was best to get through the holidays with courage and all the savoir faire she could muster. After he was gone, then maybe she could put him out of her mind. Forever.
“These dumplings are delicious, Tanner.”
“Mom will be pleased.”
“You’re very kind to bring them over.”
“It was the least I could do after taking you on a picnic and feeding you only candy.”
She laughed. “I believe you and I are doing a pretty good job of carrying on an ordinary conversation.”
“I can be as ordinary as the next guy when I try. I can be as boring as hell.”
