by Alex Lidell
“No.” She swallowed, frustration leaking through her placid facade—finally. “It doesn’t hurt. Nothing hurts. I want to go back to training, please.”
“I never said you couldn’t—” Shade stopped himself. Of course he had—he downright threatened to take her out of action in the reflection garden. And he brought up Coal, who Lera was probably trying to prove something to, hence her resistance to Shade’s medical attention. With the puzzle pieces now in place, he saw too clearly the crossroads he stood at with the girl—and he wanted to curse at himself for not seeing it sooner.
He could have her trust or her obedience. Be a friend or an instructor. But he couldn’t be both. Everything in his head said the choice was clear. Unfortunately, his soul said the same. And the two didn’t agree one bit.
Releasing Lera’s shin, Shade walked around to crouch beside her face. His heart pounded, his brain calling him ten times an idiot. But he couldn’t help it any more than he could hold his breath forever. “I’m sorry I threatened you, cub. I won’t stop you from leaving. Or blame you for it. I’ve been a great deal more of a bastard than I needed to be.”
His hand twitched toward her cheek, and it was harder than it should have been to halt the motion. When her gaze swept to the door, the fear that she would turn away from him seized Shade’s chest.
“Please stay,” he whispered. “Coal isn’t stupid. He’ll notice your limp just as I did, and whatever message you’re trying to send him, it won’t work. However much it…doesn’t hurt now, it will start to interfere with your running eventually. I can help. If you let me.”
Sitting up, she bit her lip. “What will you tell Coal?”
Shade hesitated for only a moment. “If he asks me directly—and only if he asks—I will say that I ordered you here over your protests and cleared you for training.” This time, Shade didn’t stop himself when he placed his hand on Lera’s cheek, savoring the way she leaned into his touch. Tracing his thumb along Lera’s cheekbone, he let the full protective rawness of his need seep into his voice. “Trust me, cub. Please.”
For a heartbeat, nothing happened, Lera’s body staying stoically rigid as a muscle at the side of her jaw twitched. Once. Twice. And then, finally, Lera drew a shuddering breath that seized Shade’s heart.
“I hurt,” Lera whispered, her brave facade shattering so quickly that Shade barely had time to put his arms around her before she began shaking. “I’m tired and I hurt, and I know I should be better than I am. I need to be better.”
Pulling her against his chest, Shade rocked her small bruised body. “Of course you hurt,” he whispered into her hair, his fingers tracing the curve of her shoulder blades. “It makes you no less a fighter, cub. I promise.”
She snorted softly. “Fighter. Right. Just look at me.”
Shade knew she meant the phrase rhetorically, but he pulled the girl away from him anyway. “I am looking at you.” Reaching to his counter, he scanned the medicines before selecting a small tin that smelled of mint and cumin. When he opened it, the balm’s hot and cold sensations tingled his skin at once. Resting Lera back on the table, he ran his hand along her skin. “I’m looking at an overused leg that never stopped running. At arms that didn’t let go of a sword, no matter how many parries they missed.” Shade’s gaze gripped Lera’s eyes. “I’m looking at someone who is going to face down Coal tomorrow come hell or high water. And if I can do something to make it easier, I’d hold it as a privilege.”
Not waiting for a reply, Shade focused on his work, his salve-coated fingers slipping to soothe the bruises along Lera’s ribs, nudging aside the lush bare breasts, sprawled lazily over the ribs he needed to check. Try as he might to avoid looking at the plump nipples, he could do nothing to stop his body’s tightness.
When his hand reached the crest of Lera’s hip, Shade suddenly felt as awkward as a schoolboy. The large dark bruise covered a good portion of her left groin, spilling to the top of her auburn mound and between her thighs. Places he wanted to touch so badly, it hurt. His heart quickened, the room suddenly too hot for comfort.
“This tin is empty,” he mumbled, turning to his counter to grab a new tin. Buying himself a few moments of composure that were doing nothing for his bulging needs. Worse yet, as he turned back, the slight glistening on Lera’s bare thighs shot a wave of predatory desire through him.
A professional. He was a professional. As if to prove as much to them both, Shade scooped a thick swath of balm and slid it without hesitation over Lera’s sensitive skin.
A small sound escaped her, her tightening thighs making Shade wonder if she too was imagining how the balm might feel on her other parts. Judging from the sweet tinge of arousal mingling with her lilac scent, it was quite likely.
Lera reached for Shade’s face, the feel of her hands brushing his skin filling him with cock-throbbing warmth. The tip of her tongue flicked over her lush lips, touching a tiny scar. The white speck was so cleanly placed that Shade had an uncomfortable feeling it’d been done on purpose.
His throat closed, a memory on the edge of his consciousness pounding to be let out.
He blinked, forcing his mind from the phantom scents of forest and stream to focus on Lera’s face. On how she leaned toward his mouth, her hand tangling in his loose hair. Shade knew Lera was saying something about keeping secrets, but it didn’t matter. He understood the intent well enough and was powerless to stop it. Powerless to listen to any of the hundreds of alarm bells ringing in his head, telling him this was wrong.
With a groan, Shade covered her mouth with his. Gently at first, savoring her sweet lilac scent, the way her soft lips seemed to fit perfectly with his—and then with a possessiveness that had him cradling the girl’s head lest he slam it into the table.
A wave of need pummeled Shade with animalistic fury, his tongue plunging deeper, pillaging for every bit of taste and warmth. His body pressed against her, Lera moaning and pulling him closer yet, dragging one of his hands up to cover her heavy breast and arching into it.
It was a cadet’s nipple between his fingers, a cadet’s mound rubbing hungrily against him. Somehow, that fact only drove his flames higher.
His cock throbbed painfully. His body ached with the need for more. His mind hovered on the edge of—
“Master Shade?”
Lera gasped.
The knock at the door sounded persistent enough that it finally penetrated Shade’s hazed mind. “Master Shade?” The voice was female and vaguely familiar.
Reluctantly pulling away from Lera, who was scrambling to sit up, her eyes wide, Shade raised his voice. “I’m unavailable just now. Please come see me tomorrow.”
“But it’s an emergency,” the voice whined. “I desperately need your aid.”
Shade rubbed his eyes. Sliding to the edge of the table, Lera mouthed the girl’s name. Vivian.
“No,” he whispered. He put a hand on her stomach to stop her. He wasn’t willing for this to be over. He needed one more moment—was so desperate for it, it scared him. Despite himself, Shade traced his index finger along the inside of Lera’s moist thigh even as he raised his voice toward the door. “Please see one of the other healers, Vivian,” he called. “I’m very busy just now.”
Beneath his hand, Lera’s hips were undulating slightly despite her clear attempt to focus her gaze on the chaste ceiling, Lera’s desire slamming a very untimely avalanche of need into Shade. He drew a quiet but very full breath, begging the stars not to let him lose control into his too tight britches.
Beyond the door, the voice grew louder. “But it will only take a bit of your time, sir. I won’t keep you long at all. Here, let me just show you.”
The sound of the turning handle sent a shiver through Shade before he could even see the door start to creep open. He never locked it. Why would he? Stars.
Leaping over the exam table and a very naked Lera, Shade managed to wedge his foot against the door before it could open more than a hand’s width. “What’s the emergen
cy, Vivian?” he asked, corralling his heavy breaths. Behind him, he could hear Lera quietly slipping off the table to collect her clothes, his heart pounding with disappointment.
“I think I pulled a muscle in training today, Master Shade. Won’t you please have a look?” Vivian pushed against the door, her green eyes widened in concern. “Can I come in?”
Hearing the door to his small attached study open and close, Shade sighed and motioned Vivian inside, reminding himself that any visions of ripping the girl’s throat out with his teeth were firmly misplaced.
9
Lera
By the time classes end for the day, I’m so exhausted, I decide to skip dinner and the Protector’s Guild meeting and go straight to bed. Coal will just seethe silently anyway, and I’ve not the stamina to argue. More to the point, I’m in no shape to tie my shoelaces much less patrol tonight.
I’m already crossing the courtyard toward the dorms when the problem with my plan strikes me like an anvil. Tutoring with River.
He’s expecting me, and knowing River, if I don’t go, he’ll let Coal know with concern that I skipped one of our “clerk” sessions because I wasn’t feeling well. Back to square one.
Shade’s balm has diminished the worst of my muscle aches, and a tight shin wrap now keeps my leg from feeling like someone is jamming a hot rod between my muscles—but that’s a long way from actual comfort. The first step up to River’s tower office makes me flinch, and by the first landing, sweat has broken out on my temples. I grip the railing, using so much arm strength to get up that my biceps start to ache.
By the second landing, I want to throw River and his tutoring off the tallest parapet on the keep.
No. Tutoring is good, I chant to myself. Climbing stairs is good. Even without the extra nuisance my failing the exams would create, the tutoring is the one touch point of trust between River and me. I’d never realized the intimacy sharing knowledge could have, River’s genuine pride twines with mine each time we conquer a new equation or text. Strange as it sounds, failing the exams feels like failing River.
“Leralynn.” The door to River’s study opens as I’m still climbing the last set of stairs, and the male’s impossibly broad shoulders and beautiful face fill the entryway. In his tucked-in white shirt with a golden sash and matching cuff links, he looks his usual controlled self, so handsome and polished that I feel like a sweaty rag doll next to him. Only the intensity in his gray eyes as he watches my approach gives away his inner tension.
I swallow. With the male’s busy schedule and my own avoidance tactics, this is the first time I’ve returned to his study since the night he made me whip him. I didn’t have time to worry about that while I was dragging myself up the stairs, and it hits me now. The memories of that encounter still rake my chest, not even drowned out by the leg-trembling kiss that followed it. My cheeks flame. Unable to help myself, I glance at River’s forearm, his shirt’s snow-white linen concealing whatever bruises may still linger.
“I’m a bit sore.” River answers the unspoken question, his voice too understanding. Too perceptive. A tiny corner of his mouth twitches up. “I hear you might be as well. Do I want to know what it was you did to antagonize Coal?”
Stars, has anyone not yet heard of my morning? I brush down my dress’s crinkly fabric, grateful that it will conceal any new wrinkles from being dumped onto the floor of Shade’s clinic. “Coal and I are in the midst of a discussion. A difference in opinions on a philosophical matter.”
“How very…civilized of you.” Reaching around me with a brush of warm, woodsy-scented air, River shuts the door, his face shifting to soul-piercing worry when I flinch at the sound of the clicking latch.
After spending the night in the dungeon, I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the sound.
Stepping in front of me, River touches my shoulder for a heartbeat before thinking better and drawing his hand away. “Lera, look at me,” River says with commanding confidence, as if he can pour his strength into my soul if he tries hard enough. “You are all right. You are safe. The door is unlocked. And if you would rather not be alone in a room with me—”
“I’m happy to be in a room alone with you,” I say firmly. At least I think I am. My notion of who River truly is has shifted so many times in the past weeks that my head and heart are both still spinning. Drawing a breath, I grip his muscled arm, my small hand barely able to cup his sculpted triceps. This close to him, his dominating height and breadth consume me, making me feel more delicate than I know I am—or want to be.
A wary look crosses River’s gaze, and he makes no move to touch me in return—but he doesn’t pull away either.
I bite my lip, unprepared for the sudden need to share my thoughts and worries with the brilliant male beside me. “Can we speak as friends for a few minutes? Before we start?” The words tumble from me, futile or not. “I want—I need—to say something, and if you tell me off for it, I will likely kick you. Which would not end well.”
The male glances at the door, then out the window of his study, as if a key to his decision might stride across the courtyard. In the ensuing silence, my heart strikes my ribs in a steady, too-loud beat. Then River finally sighs and, stepping away from me, leans his muscled backside against his desk. “I’m afraid to ask, but what’s on your mind, Leralynn?”
Everything. I draw a deep breath, forcing my shoulders to settle. Despite River’s agreement to hear me out, he is still the Academy’s commander, whose instinct—for better or worse—is to keep me safe. And that very well may include telling me to mind my place as a cadet and leave the worrying to the administration. Only one way to find out. “Having the Prowess Trials at the Academy is a mistake.”
River’s fingers drum a slow rhythm against the oak desk. “I don’t disagree.”
“Can you just—” I cut off, his words registering. “Wait. What did you say?”
“I dislike the notion of gathering the continent’s leaders at Great Falls when I can’t confirm that the magic blight that mauled several people earlier this year won’t rear its head again. That said, I don’t believe there is anything to be done for the decision except to fortify the Academy. That last, you will be pleased to know, I am actively doing.”
Exactly as Coal said River felt.
I bite my lip, searching for a new tack. “What about Han? Don’t you have the sense of something being off about him? He broke Coal’s arm. How many humans do you know who are capable of that?”
River swears under his breath, his face tightening with sudden intensity. “Please never—ever—make a similar statement again, Lera.”
“Because—”
“Because you just more or less accused someone at the Academy of fae craft. I recall you being accused of the same, and your very words cast Coal under similar suspicion. What if someone hears you—or worse, believes you? Just imagine a fae hunt on Academy grounds, with rival royals making accusations against each other. It would be a greater threat to the continent than any magic.” River runs one hand through his hair so the dark strands stand up adorably, defying their usual pin-straight neatness. “As for Han and Coal… I see no more mythical force behind Han’s skills than I observe in Coal himself—or in Shade, Tye, and myself. And you too, Leralynn.” A hint of a smile brushes River’s face for a heartbeat. “My refusal to allow a cadet into the front lines doesn’t make me blind to your own skills. And with the darkness we both know Coal swims in now, I can’t help wonder if a part of him allowed himself to get hurt.”
“I know,” I whisper, so quietly that I’m not sure whether I mean the words for River or myself.
With a sigh, the male braces the heels of his hands on his thighs and leans closer to me. “I share your concern with the Trials, but there is no evidence of an actionable threat from magic, while there is a known danger from the islanders. Gut feelings aside, the Academy is a fortress, and likely the only place on the continent that can gather the kingdoms without political bickering. In that light, t
here is no better place to hold the Prowess Trials.” River shakes his head. “Unfortunately, having the heads of ten kingdoms in one place is dangerous no matter what.”
“So there is truly nothing we can do about this?” I ask.
“So long as Sage and Han have a competitive team to field—and with Tye here, they’ve that, even if the others are barely able to qualify—the trial will happen here. And to that end, I will bring in so many guards that even an invisible foe won’t get through their line.” River’s voice has the confident timbre of someone who has already worked through the problem. Of course he has. It’s River. “The Academy is a defensive fortress, and I’d be a poor commander indeed if I couldn’t figure out how to use it as such.”
“Sometimes I wish you weren’t so bloody logical.”
“Indeed.” A corner of his mouth twitches toward a smile again before his beautiful face schools itself to its usual piercing attentiveness. “Now, if I’ve passed your evaluation of my defensive operations plan, I recommend we return to studying. We’ve worked too hard to waver now.” River cocks his head, watching me as he pushes away from his desk. “Leralynn. Did you hear what I just said?”
I nod absently, his reference to exams and studying suddenly a distant buzz against his earlier words. Sage can field a Prowess team—and thus bring the whole of the continent into the jaws of crumpling wards—for one reason only.
Tye.
And that is what—who—I need to stop.
10
Lera
For three nights following the revelation River doesn’t even know he made, I wake up in a cold sweat, fending off Coal’s worsening terrors with my arms and legs and sometimes Tye’s fire magic. And for three days, I stalk Tye.
The affair reveals itself to be a great deal more time consuming than I could have imagined. With Tye downright avoiding me during the day and never appearing without the Prowess team around him—who are often surrounded in turn by a sea of buzzing, excited cadets—lying in wait at the bathhouse is my final option. River’s words, spoken so casually and accurately, continue sounding in my head.
