by Kimber White
Jagger
Mammoth Forest Wolves - Book Five
Kimber White
Nokay Press LLC
Copyright © 2018 by Kimber White/Nokay Press LLC
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
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Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Epilogue
Up Next From Kimber White
Find Out How Able Valent Got his Start…
A Note from Kimber White
Books by Kimber White
One
Jagger
In the inky blackness, I reach for her. There is nothing but cold rock, hard and smooth. It sweats against my hand. Ten miles underground, I can see nothing. Hear nothing except the movement of the air around me. Even with my wolf eyes, I can’t even see my own hand in front of me. I’ve never tried to explain to the others what it feels like, to be inside my head now. If I told them it’s like these empty caverns deep under Mammoth Forest, I know they’d nod with anguished understanding.
It would be a lie.
If it were silent and cold like this, that would be a blessing. But, I can still hear...still feel...the faint echoes of Keara’s heart beating alongside my own. It’s not the way it used to be, when she was alive, vibrant, whole. Now, I just feel the final, painful beats as her blood and life drain from her and I am too far away to make it stop or join her. Every single beat of my heart, each second of the day, I relive the physical pain of Keara’s death. Stabbing, slipping away, no air, no warmth. Then, nothingess until I take my next breath and it starts all over again.
It’s gotten to where the pain blocks out any memories of joy we shared. Sometimes, I can’t remember Keara’s face. My heart. My fated mate. My love. My greatest failure.
* * *
I stood at the edge of the grotto. The warm springs beneath the cave system run so deep, no one has ever found the bottom. I filled my lungs with cool air and jackknifed through, diving down as far as I could go. Each time, I swam deeper. My lungs burned, desperate to take a breath. A few times, I had. I let the water fill my lungs as my body tried to reject it. Three days ago, I just stopped. Floated. Let myself reach the brink. Only then did the pain stop, and the pain of Keara’s last gasping breaths faded away.
I opened my eyes to the shimmering blackness above me. I could go deeper still. I was just a few inches from shutting off the pain, if just for a few precious seconds.
Something reached me. It wasn’t sound, not at first. It stabbed through the water, piercing between my ears.
A scream.
I didn’t think. I don’t remember righting myself and kicking toward the surface. But, I broke, gasping for air and expelling water from my lungs. The lusty cry cut through the stillness, shocking my heart.
I heard Mac’s voice rise high with alarm. Water dripping off my back and down my eyes, I hoisted myself up on the rock ledge of the grotto. My jeans stuck to me like a second skin. My toes curled, gripping the slick surface of the rock as I tried to keep my balance and run.
Up and up I went, my heart thundering inside me. Keara’s pain was still there, of course, but there was something else beside it.
Breathless, I burst into the main rotunda. Payne was there with Gunnar. Jett, Gunnar’s mate, let out a gasp of surprise when she saw me. She came to me, spreading her arms wide.
“Is she?”
Before Jett could answer, another cry echoed through the cavern. It was the hearty, indignant sound of a new baby.
Then, Mac finally appeared. His silver wolf eyes glinted and tears streamed down his cheeks. He froze when he saw me. Dripping wet and my hair plastered to my head, of course they all had questions. They’d soon be forgotten as Mac delivered his news in a full-throated yell.
“She’s okay. Eve’s okay. She’s amazing. And he’s here. Our son is here. My God. It’s a boy. His eyes are silver, just like mine.”
Gunnar got to him first, pulling him into an embrace. Jett cried out and piled on. I tore a hand through my hair. Water sprayed everywhere as I went to them. One foot in front of the other. Smile. Let Jett get her arms around me.
Lena came down the corridor, her face wet with tears. She was Mac’s sister and Payne’s mate. His cheeks flushed when he saw her. I know what he felt. I could remember it in an almost clinical way. Lena’s heartbeat inside Payne’s head. His blood heated and he felt full and complete around her. It was like that for all of them.
I stepped away from the huddle. Mac and Lena fell into each other. Payne pulled Lena to him when she let go of her brother. He kissed the top of her head, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Later, when they found their own quiet, they would imagine what it would be like to have a child of their own. The hunger, the yearning for it burned through all of them. Because, it had burned through me.
“Jagger.” My mind snapped back. I lost time. It happened every day, sometimes more than others. A few seconds here. A minute or two there. But then something would click and I’d be back. In the early days, after Keara died, I’d lost whole months. Other than wishing Keara back, that’s the time I wished I could return to the most.
“Jagger,” Lena said again. Her smile was guarded; her eyes held a wisdom the others didn’t share. It was a secret we kept between us. One neither of us ever spoke aloud. But, Lena knew. Maybe not the whole weight of what I carried within me, but she’d faced her own demons at the hands of the Chief Pack of Kentucky. Held captive by them for years, it had been hard for her to rejoin the land of the living. She’d felt separate from the wolves of Mammoth Forest when she came here. And I knew, for at least those first few weeks, she wanted to die.
Then, she found her true mate in Payne, and the light went back into her soul.
“Come see him,” she whispered, reaching for my hand.
“I don’t...I can’t…”
“You can,” she said, her hazel eyes gleaming. She had a faint scar running through her right brow all the way to her cheekbone. She bore others along her arms. I knew Payne had helped her heal the worst of the scars she used to carry on the inside. I was happy for her. For both of them.
She took my hand and pulled me toward the corridor. Mac, Payne and the others hung back. Lena brushed away another tear as the baby’s cries grew louder. There was laughter too.
We stopped at the mouth of the cavern opening into the infirmary. Molly had made it. With help from our friends t
opside, she’d stocked it with hospital beds, cabinets full of precious medicine and even an operating room. Liam, her mate, waited on the other side of the opening, his eyes nearly shut from the broad smile he wore.
Lena was bold. She pulled on my arm, leading me into the room. Eve lay in one of the hospital beds, her honey blonde hair pasted to her face with the sweat of exertion. Molly stood on one side of her, tucking a blanket around the tiny bundle in Eve’s arms. Dr. Suzanne Olivet stood with her arms folded on the other side, her own face beaming with pride.
“I’ve brought a visitor,” Lena said. When Eve looked up, her eyes held a flash of uncertainty. Then, warmth came into them again and she held her precious bundle out for me.
I took two cautious strides toward her. The pain was there, as always, but something else pulled at my center along with it. I stretched out my arms and my breath caught as Molly took the baby from Eve and gave him to me.
He was warm, his weight substantial. Two tiny fists curled and waved in the air. His little face scrunched with pain and the injustice of being taken from the warmth of his mother’s womb. Then, he opened his eyes. Blinking wide and crossing, for a brief instant, he focused on me. His eyes were blue like the ocean, new and clear. The pupils widened. He sucked in a great breath of air and his wolf eyes flashed, glinting like diamonds. Then, he exhaled and farted into my hand.
I cocked my head to the side. “Just like his daddy.”
Eve laughed. “Stubborn, that’s for sure.”
I looked back at her. My heart flared with alarm. Eve was strong. But, her cheeks were hollowed out, and great big circles shadowed her eyes.
“She’s all right?” I said to Suzanne. My vision tunneled. Eve had to be all right. For Mac. For the baby.
“Yes,” Suzanne said. She put a light hand on my arm and fussed with the baby’s blankets. “Eve is strong. She is a fighter.”
“Three full days of labor though,” Molly said. “Suzanne...I just...if you hadn’t been here to help.”
I slid the baby carefully into Suzanne’s arms. She leaned down and nuzzled his head. I hadn’t needed to. His sweet scent filled me from across the room.
“I was here,” she said. Just barely though. Payne and Lena had just returned from a harrowing trip across the border into Ohio and then Michigan to get help. They found each other and the means to save Eve and the baby’s life. Because Molly was right. She was a skilled veterinarian, but birthing a shifter baby was over her head.
“You come up with a name yet?” Lena asked. The baby was getting passed around and it was her turn now.
“Daniel.” Mac’s voice boomed from behind me.
I couldn’t breathe. For a moment, I couldn’t see.
“It’s just a little thing,” Mac said. He took his son from his sister and snuggled him close. “If we’d been blessed with a girl, we would have named her Keara.”
Keara. They didn’t like to speak her name around me. As if hearing it could cause me more pain than what I felt every time I drew breath. Still, I appreciated the consideration.
Daniel. Keara’s last name before she married me. Mac was right. It was just a small thing. But it was still everything. And then it was too much.
I faded into the background. Only Lena watched me go. I needed the quiet. I needed to feel the pain.
Later, it was morning. I’d lost time again. I stood at the entrance to the caves where the forest was thickest. Late August, and already some of the leaves had begun to change color. It would be a hard winter when it finally came. Brutal. I worried about the people we hid down in the caves. We shifters could brave the cold. Those who had mates could keep them warm. But there were others who sought refuge with us. Humans. Molly and the others would struggle to find ways to provide for them.
“Jagger?” This time, it was Liam’s voice drawing me out of myself.
I touched the bark of the nearest oak tree. It grew tall and straight. Its leaves still deep, shimmering green.
Liam wasn’t alone. He held Molly’s hand in his. Her expression grim, she forced a smile and stepped into the clearing with him. I squeezed my eyes shut just for a moment, pushing the pain to a deeper place. It wouldn’t last, but it would help me think. It would help me find the words to tell them what I had to.
“It’s amazing, what you did,” I said, turning to Molly.
One foot in front of the other. Take a breath. Open your arms. Let her step into them. Hug her gently. Mean it.
Molly looked up at me, hooking her hands beneath my elbows. She was tiny, barely five feet tall. She had dark, straight hair she always wore in a ponytail with bangs cut straight across. Her wide brown eyes took in everything about me. Keara had been her very first friend down here in the caves. And she’d held her as Keara died.
“I did what I had to do. So did Eve. So did Dr. Olivet. We all do what we have to do, Jagger. Every day. Keara did too.”
I stepped away from her. When I was the most raw, Molly had been the only person I’d let near me in those first days after Keara. I couldn’t talk. Couldn’t see. Couldn’t feel. But, Molly’s voice would always reach me. She said the things I knew Keara wanted me to hear. I think she’d passed something to Molly in those last few moments. Some magic that fated mates have. She made it so I couldn’t ignore her. Most of the time I wanted to. Molly was like my annoying little sister. I loved her. She drove me insane with her worry and meddling.
“Heartland,” I said. One simple word and Molly gasped.
“You’re sure?” she asked.
I nodded and caught Liam’s eyes over her head. “Along the Tennessee River. It was a tobacco farm for centuries. Then they built a county jail on it. Then they abandoned the jail. I’ve done the recon. Lena’s description of the place was exact. Yellow house. Surrounded by barbed wire and a watchtower.”
Lena had seen it in a vision when the Chief Alpha, Able Valent, had used his mind control on her. Her bond with Payne had allowed her to break free. But, not before she saw the Alpha’s hideout. We knew where to find him. We could get to him.
“I’m sure the house Lena saw was in Heartland, yes. The only way we’ll know for sure if Able Valent is there is by looking.”
“Then we’ll get a crew together,” Liam said. “We’ll map the tunnel system near it.”
“No tunnels near there,” I said. “It’s too far east. And no crew. It’s too dangerous.”
“Dammit,” Molly said. She was pacing now, holding her hands to her hips. Her ponytail whipped back as she changed directions. “You’ve already made up your mind? You can’t. Not for something like this. This is a group decision.”
I took a deep, strong breath and squared my shoulders. I locked eyes with Liam. His held a flicker of understanding. Then, he pursed his lips together, forming a thin, bloodless line. He knew I was right.
“Fine,” I said. “We take it to the group. Won’t change the outcome. And it won’t change my mind. You need me for this. This is a solo mission. We need eyeballs on that house. We need to know how many men guard him. What his routine is. There will be a weakness. He’s old. He’s not infallible. Gunnar and Payne got close. We can get closer.”
“Jagger…” Molly started toward me. I held up a hand. She froze.
“It’s simple. Able Valent still controls the Chief Pack. As long as he does, none of our people are safe. He’ll send the Pack to hunt us, pick us off one by one if he has to. He’ll use you to get to Liam. He’ll use Liam to get to you. He knows our weaknesses. You all have something to lose and something worth fighting for. You cannot risk getting this close to the Chief Alpha again. Not until we know more and can make a real plan to take him out.”
Molly was crying. Tears streamed down her face. Liam couldn’t help but go to her. The pain she felt coursed through his blood. He took her hand and pulled her to him. But, he denied nothing I said.
“You promise me something, Jagger,” Molly said, her voice cracking.
“Molly, don’t.”
“No!” She tore herself from Liam’s side and shook a finger at me. “You promise me something! If you do this. If you leave us. You have to come back. I’m not taking no for an answer. We need you.”
I let out a bitter laugh and took her hand. “I love you, Molly. Keara loved you. But you don’t need me.”
“Then, we need your information,” she said, not missing a beat. I blanched at her tone and rapid-fire words. “You hear me? You don’t do this kamikaze-style. You do recon, just like you said you would. But the thing about recon? You actually have to come back and tell us what you found out. Got it? So go do it. Go to Heartland and get as much intel as you can. But then, you come back here with it. Promise me. You know it’s what Keara would want.”
I clenched my jaw hard, biting back what I wanted to say. It would sting Molly badly. It might even be true. No one could know what Keara wanted anymore. Not even me. Still, as Molly looked up at me with those trusting brown eyes, I saw what Keara did in her very last moments. She saw a friend.
I reached for her and kissed Molly on the forehead. “No promises,” I said. “I will try to come back. But, if I see a bona fide opportunity to kill that son of a bitch, I’m taking it. No matter what.”
Molly wrapped her fingers around my wrist and squeezed. Her eyes flicked over me. A hint of a smile played at the corners of her mouth. “Okay. I don’t like it. But, I know it’s the best I’m gonna get.”
Liam shrugged behind her. “I wouldn’t cross her, Jagger,” he said. “You know how Molly gets when she’s pissed.”
