by Kimber White
“I like her, Jagger,” Lena said. It was such a simple declaration, but it meant everything to me. Lena seemed to understand me and my need for solace more than the others. She’d craved the same until she found Payne. He too had spent more time and depth under Valent’s control before he broke away from the Pack.
“I do too,” I smiled. And yet, pain still seared my heart. Ten yards away, over a small hill, we had laid Keara to rest two years, eleven months and six days ago.
Laughter and shouts reached us from the other side of the hill. A few of the refugee betas we’d collected over the last few weeks had formed a small hunting party.
“Somebody needs to get them under control,” I said. “They’re getting cocky. Just because the Pack can’t sense them underground doesn’t mean they won’t find ‘em out there by accident.”
There was another problem we needed to address. Our numbers had swelled. The Pack had increased their sweeps in towns like Shadow Springs and the outskirts. They were looking for humans who offered us aid. So far, none of them had broken or betrayed us. But, we were bursting at the seams in the caves as it was. Soon, we’d need another place to hide.
“Dr. Olivet has made no progress with that Sampson?” Lena asked, stepping into Payne’s arms. Liam, Mac and Gunnar came back up the hill.
“None,” Liam answered. “She says it’s like when a computer goes into sleep mode. She can’t tell if it’s something Sampson is doing himself or whether the Alpha’s behind it. Maybe a little of both.”
“Dammit,” Mac said. “We need all the intel we can get. The Alpha’s going to get stronger. It’s been weeks since his battle with you Payne. Before long, he’ll be at full strength and we’ll lose whatever advantage we had.”
A pang of guilt burned through me. Again, I knew I could have ended this. But that flare of hope sparked in me as well. It spread through my heart, connecting me to Rowan. Molly and Suzanne joined us. Mac’s mate Eve was down with baby Daniel. Jett, Gunnar’s mate, had taken some of the female refugees for more training. The more people we had who could handle some of the weapons Payne and Lena had brought back, the better. Our friends to the north in Wild Lake, Michigan had provided us with wolfkiller ammunition and doubled our supply of guns. But, they would be worthless if we couldn’t come up with a plan to take out the Pack that wouldn’t get us all killed.
Molly and Suzanne’s expressions looked grave. “Shit,” I muttered. “Don’t tell me he died.”
Suzanne put a hand up. “No change. Sampson is still in the, what did you call it, Molly? The Big Sleep. I am afraid I am out of ideas. I thought he would come out of it on his own by now. I thought hunger and thirst would be enough to rouse him.”
“Where’s Rowan?” Molly asked. Her brow furrowed, Liam moved closer to her. His moods in tune with hers, even the slightest distress in her called to his nature.
“Down by the lake,” I said. “She needed some time to herself after…”
Molly nodded. Suzanne caught her eye and Molly’s eyes fell to the ground. Something was up between the two of them. But, another idea had been burning in my heart. One I knew Rowan wouldn’t like. Better to get it out now while she was out of earshot.
“I have an idea about Sampson,” I said. “You might not like it, but hear me out, at least.”
“Shouldn’t we wait for Rowan to get back?” Molly asked. Her eyes were red-rimmed as if she’d been crying. Liam slid an arm around her waist. I guess it had been a long few days for everyone. Molly had spent almost as much time at Grace’s bedside as Rowan did.
“No,” I said. “I wanted to bring it to you all first. I’ll tell Rowan in my own way and in my own time.”
“Jagger, I don’t like this,” Lena said. Payne had his hands on her shoulders.
“Listen,” I said. “Sampson’s in stasis because he’s waiting for a command from his Alpha. He was injured, rendered unconscious. Maybe he’s booby-trapped like you said, but there’s only one way to find out.”
Mac stepped forward. “Jagger...if you…”
I put a hand up. Mac, Payne, Liam, Gunnar and me. We were all Alphas. We’d all felt the call of our natures. We knew what we were meant to do.
“I have to try to get in his head,” I said.
“He won’t let you,” Molly said, her eyes wide. “Jagger, he’ll push back.”
“She’s right,” Suzanne said. “I’ve seen this. I may not be a shifter, but I know what it takes. I’ve been around dozens of normal packs and watched as a new beta wolf is taken under the pull of an Alpha. A good Alpha, Jagger. What Valent is, he is an abomination. He subjugates them against their will. Sampson and the others, their minds are hollowed out to make way for Able Valent’s. It is not natural. It is like a death. And it twisted him. I have seen other Tyrannous Alphas before. Valent is the worst, but the others are horrible too. They just do not have the reach that Valent does.”
“I don’t understand,” Lena said. “What do you want to do, Jagger?”
I let out a hard breath. “I have to do it. You all know it. The only way Sampson’s going to open his mind and give up his secrets is if a new Alpha takes control of him.”
“Dammit,” Liam said. “Jagger, it’s not who you are. It’s not who we are. You’re talking about dancing with the devil. It’s too dangerous. Trying to rip a beta away from his Pack without challenging his Alpha is not the way things are done. It’s dark magic and you know it.”
“What could happen?” Lena asked.
Suzanne dropped her head. She buried her face in her hands. When she looked up, expression turned grave. “It is a dangerous path. It could work. I cannot deny that. If you are strong enough, you might be able to do it. Valent is far away. But, Liam is right. That wolf is controlled by a Tyrannous Alpha. You must use that same dark power to control him.”
“Good,” I said. “Then that settles it. I’ve got to go in. We need whatever Sampson has in that head of his. He can tell us about Pack movements, numbers, where Valent is now. We can use it. It’s why I brought him back here in the first place.”
Lena looked from Suzanne to me and back again. “What?” she said. “What are you not saying? Why are you all looking like that?”
Molly locked eyes with me. A tear spilled down her cheek. “Jagger. Please. Don’t do this. Talk to Rowan at least. She should have a vote.”
“I’m doing this for Rowan,” I said. “For all of you. I’m the only one who can and you all know it. You all have mates. Mac, you have a child. This isn’t about me wanting to die. Not anymore.”
“Rowan is your mate,” Molly said.
“No,” I said. “Not yet. Not all the way. I haven’t...she’s not marked. There’s still a chance she can be happy. She can be okay. And I’m not planning to die. I’m planning to win. But, just in case. If I go into that asshole’s mind and it turns me into something I don’t want to be...then you deal with it.”
“Deal with it how?” Molly asked. She knew the answer, but she wanted me to say it. I wouldn’t. There was no need. There was also no other way. Mac, Gunnar, Payne and Liam knew it too. Their hard stares told me they understood. They didn’t like it, but they knew I was right. I had to try and subjugate Sampson. I just prayed I’d have the strength to keep from crossing over to the dark side in the process.
Rowan came back over the hill, her face flushed with exertion. But, she held a smile in her eyes and her heart felt peaceful. I wanted to go to her, but stood my ground. If I was going to get through telling her this, let alone doing it, I’d need to find some distance.
“Hey,” she said, joining the group. “You all look like hell. Somebody want to tell me what I missed?”
Twenty-One
Rowan
My ears rang as Jagger laid out his plans. He was going to try to get inside Sampson’s head and pull out what he knew about Able Valent and the rest of the Pack. They were going to use it to go to battle. A battle I knew in my heart they wouldn’t all survive.
“It’
s risky,” Suzanne said. “Valent is what the shifters call a Tyrannous Alpha. One who controls his pack absolutely. It is not the way normal shifters behave. There is dominance among normal packs and their Alphas, but also respect, collaboration, boundaries.”
“I know what Valent is,” I said, my lips trembling. Anger and fear boiled in my heart. Jagger should have told me what he was thinking when we were alone. As I looked at him, I knew instantly why he hadn’t. Though they didn’t like it, the rest of the Mammoth Forest shifters believed he was right. It was their best chance at turning the tables on Valent once and for all.
“I know as well or better than any of you what Valent is,” I said. “Not in the same way, but he’s controlled me his whole life.” My heart still felt the bitter sting of Dr. Olivet’s news about my medication. It had been a lie. It had all been a lie. But, I believed he’d told the same lie to Aunt Grace. To her literal dying breath, she told me the medication was the only thing keeping me alive. In some ways, I was glad she’d been spared the truth.
“Then you of all people know why I have to do this,” Jagger said, his eyes dark. “And Rowan, I’m not planning on turning into what Valent is.”
“No,” I said as the real truth slammed into me. “You’re betting the rest of your friends will put you down if you do.” I backed away from them. The truth burned in the solemn eyes of every shifter standing there. If Jagger succeeded, but turned Tyrannous, they would kill him.
“I’m strong enough to fight it off, Rowan,” Jagger said. He took my hands. His eyes searched my face. “For you,” he added. “I’m strong enough to fight it off for you.”
I swallowed past a lump in my throat. It was too hard to hear. Too hard to take. Liam, Gunnar, Mac and Payne dropped their heads.
“Come on,” Lena said. “Jagger and Rowan have some things to talk about. Let’s leave them to it.”
They left, all but Molly and Suzanne. Molly’s face held a different sadness that sparked new fear in me. They waited until the others had disappeared over the hill and went back down into the caves.
I dropped Jagger’s hand. Sensing my distress, he tried to catch it again, but I stepped away from him. “There’s more,” I said, leveling a hard stare at Suzanne. “You came back out here to tell me something.”
Suzanne crossed her arms in front of her. Her posture changed. She became straighter, more formal. In the back of my mind I recognized it. This was a doctor about to deliver bad news to a patient.
“The tests we ran on you have yielded some results. We should talk alone.” Her eyes flicked to Jagger.
“No,” I said. “Let him hear.” Partly, I knew I would need to draw strength from him if the dark circles beneath Molly’s eyes were any kind of omen.
“I have contacts,” Suzanne said. “There are shifters in Wild Lake and nearby towns who know some of the history of how Able Valent came to settle in Kentucky. There were other Tyrannous Alphas and packs who came before him. Very bad men, Rowan. Valent was the worst. He took things to a level not seen since dragons still walked the earth. He has been obsessed with strengthening his line, producing subservient, but strong shifters. And, he’s tried to find a female wolf shifter to serve as his queen.”
“We know that,” Jagger said. “It’s one of the reasons he’s tried to control how his Pack breeds.”
“Yes,” Suzanne said. “And I have a theory. A true female shifter has power over a pack. Her pheromone signature is like nothing on earth. Other shifters are drawn to it. In some, it can drive them mad. I think if Valent had a female shifter under his power, it would have helped him lure and control the Pack even more.”
“It never worked though,” I said. “I’ve heard some of those same legends. There was a pack who thought they could turn a human woman if they bit and marked her enough.”
Suzanne smiled. Her eyes held some mystery behind them. “There’s a kernel of truth to that legend. But that’s a story for another time. Suffice it to say all of Able Valent’s efforts to create a female shifter by selective breeding failed. And many, many women died because of it. But, there were other rumors we heard. Most of it was too fantastical for me to believe...until…”
The air changed. I picked up a quickening in Jagger’s pulse. Part of me didn’t want to hear the rest of what Suzanne had to say. The truth of her words were already in me. Had she said nothing more, I would have understood.
“Until I had scientific proof,” she finished. Jagger squeezed my hand.
“Me,” I said. “The proof is me. What is it, Dr. Olivet?”
Molly went to Jagger, sensing his simmering rage just as I did. He was on the verge of shifting right there.
“There were markers,” Olivet continued. “In strands of your DNA. There were other factors in your blood. I told you, I heard rumors from another shifter doctor I know up in the Yukon. Years ago, he spent some time in Kentucky. Able Valent started a program. Since he couldn’t make a female shifter through breeding, he went to the next step. Genetic engineering.”
“What are you saying?” Jagger said, his voice more of a growl.
“Me,” I answered. “I’ve been genetically engineered?”
“Yes.” Suzanne came to me. She put a hand on my face. “I don’t know how exactly, but I have a few educated guesses. If I looked at it from a purely scientific model, it’s a marvel. This is medical technology that is not supposed to exist yet.”
“So what am I?” My voice sounded distant and cold. “Am I a shifter?”
Suzanne sighed. “No. You’re human, Rowan. But certain strands of your DNA have been encoded. You have shifter-like qualities. Your strength. Your shifter eyesight. The small changes to your skeletal structure under certain conditions. And from the reaction of Sampson and the other Pack members you described...you give off a pheromone signature that at least mimics a true female shifter. It’s why they can’t track you. Why you can make them go haywire. These are all natural defenses in a true shifter female. I suspect if Valent knew you possessed them, he would not have let you live. Your Aunt Grace must have kept that truth from him. She protected you.”
“And it cost her her life. So, I’m some kind of a mutant. A freak after all?”
Jagger’s growl ripped through the air. He put himself between Dr. Olivet and me as if her words could do me physical harm. I put a steadying hand on his arm.
“No,” Suzanne said. “You’re not a freak. You’re a human being, Rowan. A beautiful, marvelous woman.”
“They died,” I said, pulling away from Jagger. “My aunt was trying to tell me. I didn’t understand, but I think I do now. She said over and over that I was the only one who lived. There were many, many other babies like me. She said Valent gave them to her to take care of, but they all died. Even her own. Oh, God, I think my Aunt Grace gave birth to at least two of Able’s...experiments. She carried their pictures in the locket we just buried her with. She said they thought I was going to die too, but I didn’t.”
“That makes sense,” Suzanne said. “Horrible though it is. And your mother would have died too. Grace would have been one of the lucky ones. It is my best guess that the women carrying these babies would have had to take powerful hormones in doses not meant for humans. It’s a miracle that any of them survived to carry to full term. Most probably didn’t. And the birth… a human woman giving birth to a shifter baby is traumatic at best. And dangerous. If none of the mothers are still around to tell their stories, I suspect they died in childbirth or shortly after.”
“That’s what she told me,” I said. “Aunt Grace said my own mother died having me.”
“I’m so sorry, Rowan,” Molly said. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“I will never let Able Valent get anywhere near you again,” Jagger said. He was trembling with rage. “If he knew how you strong you really are...how perfect...he would try to use you.”
“Yes,” Suzanne said. “Your aunt was right to keep you away from him and lie about how well you were doing. She probably s
aved your life.”
“No,” I said. “He knew. Able knew something at least. He used that fake medication to keep me in line and to blackmail my aunt. I think he wanted me under his thumb but didn’t want to really deal with me. Until he found some other use for me.”
My legs shook. It got hard to breathe. Jagger sensed the change in me and slid his arms around me. “Enough!” he said. “It doesn’t matter how you came into the world. It matters that you’re here and you’re you. And you’re where you belong.”
I smiled up at him and touched his face. I wanted to tell him I loved him. I wanted to say so many other things. But, he’d heard enough for today. “Jagger, don’t worry about me,” I said. “You’re right. I’m strong. And I’m where I belong. It’s going to be okay. It’s you we need to worry about. If you’re determined to do this thing with Sampson, you need to get some serious rest. Will you? Please? Go back to the caves. I’ll be with you in a minute. I just want to say a few more things to Aunt Grace.”
He kissed the palm of my hand. His pain for me seared in his eyes. I smiled and gave him a light shove. “Okay,” he said. “But don’t stay out here too long. It’s less safe at night.”
“I know.” I gathered my arms around me and watched him leave. When I sensed him moving deep into the caves, I turned and faced Molly and Suzanne.
“Okay,” I said, taking a breath. “I’ve got enough of a hold on myself. Jagger can’t hear. So, why don’t you two tell me the rest of it?”
Suzanne and Molly passed a look. Molly couldn’t hold it together. She started to cry. My heart lurched, because I knew that meant Liam would probably intuit everything she was about to say.
“Out with it,” I said. “I can take it.”
