“This isn’t the time, Zoe.”
“It’s never the time. When are you going to admit you have feelings for me?”
He pressed his teeth together, steeling himself against the longing in her eyes. He forced himself to remember his best friend. Her dad. To remember how young she was. Not just in years. But in life.
“You’re young, Zoe, you have your whole life—”
She shoved him. “Don’t you dare patronize me. I’m nineteen—a grown adult.”
“Brady would never understand.” Neither would her father. But saying that would only make her want to be with him more.
“My brother can’t tell me who to be with.”
“I want to be here for you, Zoe, but you’ll be off to college soon, and you have a bright future ahead of you. You’re smart and talented, and you don’t need someone like me dragging you down.” His voice had gone all raspy. He swallowed against the dull ache that had lodged there.
Zoe had gone uncharacteristically quiet. She stared at one of his shirt buttons, a sheen of tears making her green eyes sparkle. There were dark half-circles under them, making him wonder if she’d slept at all this week. Who was going to take care of her after Brady went back to college? Who was going to make sure she was eating? Sleeping? Surely not her dad.
She lifted her eyes, and he saw so much there. Fear. Pain. Longing.
“But I need you,” she said.
The words were a sucker punch to his gut, and he was helpless against them. When she rose on tiptoe there wasn’t a reason in the world that could stop him from tasting her lips, so sweetly offered.
I give up, he thought as his lips swept hers, the feeling of coming home so strong it all but engulfed him. Can’t do this anymore.
He gathered her close, loving the feel of her against him. Her fingers threaded through the hairs at his nape, raising gooseflesh on his arms.
He pushed his fingers into the luxurious silk of her hair. It was just as soft as he remembered.
She’s vulnerable, his conscience cried. You’re taking advantage.
When she tried to deepen the kiss, he gave her lips one last brush and forced himself to draw back until he could meet her gaze. Her sleepy eyes were almost his undoing.
“This is a terrible idea,” he whispered, but there was no conviction behind his words. He was weak. So weak.
“This is a wonderful idea.”
“You’re grieving. You’re not thinking straight.”
“I know my own mind, Cruz,” she said vehemently.
It was true, he was forced to admit to himself. Zoe was the most opinionated person he’d ever known. He could think of ten times right off the top of his head that her crazy, stubborn opinions had gotten her in trouble. With her parents. Her teachers. Her friends. It had been all too entertaining to watch from the sidelines.
Her shoulders went rigid under his hands. “You’re laughing at me.”
“No . . . I’m not.”
His affection for her must’ve been all over his face, because she relaxed in his arms one muscle at a time.
Her eyes searched his. “I want to be with you, Cruz. Surely you know that.”
He thought back over the last year. The kissing booth, the boys trailing in and out of her life. The way his heart ached with yearning every time he saw her with someone else.
He was tired of hurting. Tired of wanting.
Maybe it could work. She was nineteen now. Brady would understand—eventually. And maybe he could prove himself to her dad, prove what a hard worker he was, how well he’d treat his daughter if only the man would give Cruz a chance.
Zoe cupped his jaw. Her breath fanned across his chin. Her eyes said things he’d been wanting to hear for so long.
“I need you,” she whispered.
His chest tightened at the words. And finally he let himself say what he’d been holding back for so long. “I need you too, mi leona.”
Her gaze raked over his face. “What does that mean?”
Heat suffused his neck at the admission. “My lioness.”
Her mouth turned up just before he brushed her lips in a slow, sweet kiss. A moment later he set his forehead against hers. His heart was pounding like a jackhammer. He’d never had so much to live for. So much to lose.
“I have to tell Brady,” he said.
“Let’s wait a while. As soon as Brady knows, Daddy’ll know, and that’ll be the end of this. You know how he seeks Daddy’s approval.”
“He’s my friend. I don’t want to hide this from him.”
She cupped the back of his neck. “You don’t understand. He’s been ridiculous lately. He thinks he’s my father or something.”
“He’s hurting.”
“Exactly. He needs space to work through Mama’s death before we drop this on him. Just a little time to come to grips with the loss.”
“I don’t know . . .”
“You know I’m right. This has hit him hard. Hit all of us hard.”
He brushed a thumb over her cheek, reveling in the notion that he had a right to touch her now. Her skin was impossibly soft. Impossibly fragile. The freckles on her nose stood out in contrast to her pale skin, her cheeks were flushed with color now. Her eyes bright and lively. Beautiful. She was so beautiful.
“Just for a little while. Please?”
When had he ever been able to deny Zoe anything? He sighed. “I guess a few weeks won’t matter much.”
chapter fourteen
Somehow a few weeks turned into a few months and more. Cruz never took her to his apartment, afraid someone would see them together. At first they hung out at his mom’s place. She and Zoe hit it right off, sometimes ganging up on him until they were laughing so hard he couldn’t help but laugh too.
When it grew warm they met at the swimming hole near her grandma’s orchard whenever they could. Mostly late at night when there was no chance of running into anyone.
Zoe had only confided in Hope and her grandma about their relationship. Granny Nel understood about Zoe’s dad and promised not to tell. Cruz liked the way the older woman stood up for Zoe and encouraged her free spirit.
On those warm summer nights they’d spread a blanket in the back of his pickup and lie on their backs staring up into the night. He taught her the constellations, rewarding her with a kiss each time she answered correctly. She was a quick study.
He fell so deeply in love with her under the starry sky.
During the day he’d promise himself that he’d tell Brady soon, but at night when he held Zoe in his arms, he counted the cost. What if her dad forbade her from seeing him? She might be nineteen but she still lived at home, and her father was more controlling than most.
Hiding their relationship from Brady and Mr. Collins meant hiding it from everyone else too. That was never more apparent than one August night at the Rusty Nail. Zoe had filled in as backup singer. It was her first time singing since her mom died, and he could tell her heart wasn’t in it.
He could also tell Kyle was interested in her. Cruz didn’t like the way he looked at her—onstage or off.
Cruz was already feeling edgy as the two made their way to Zoe’s circle of friends at the back of the room. He gritted his teeth as Kyle pulled a chair out for her at the corral of tables and took a seat next to her. Cruz should be sitting next to her. He should be fetching her a drink.
The band was moving to Nashville in about a month. They’d decided they needed to be there if they were going to make it big, and Kyle had made it clear he’d like nothing better than to take Zoe along.
She’d been so excited as she told Cruz about the offer that for a moment he thought she was going to go with them. Then she said she was just flattered at the offer, that she didn’t want to leave. That her dad would have a conniption. That she didn’t want to leave Cruz. That the orchard was her future. She’d spent more time there lately, and her dreams seemed to be shifting. Cruz wasn’t sure what to think about that. But he wondered if she’d regret
saying no to such a big opportunity.
He was still lost in thought when Kyle returned to the table with Zoe’s drink. Cruz always felt a little out of his element with Brady’s group of friends. They all came from money and seemed to float through life on a cloud of privilege, no thought of college loans or medical bills or financial setbacks.
Their clothes had fancy labels and intentional holes, and though they were nice enough, they talked about things he had no interest in.
“See something you like, Huntley?” Kyle barked, a smirk curling his mouth.
The whole group fell silent, all eyes on him, and Cruz realized he’d been staring at Zoe, probably looking as possessive as a pauper with his last dollar. He was glad Brady had stepped away from the table.
“Cut it out.” Zoe laughed, shoving Kyle’s shoulder. “He’s just doing his job—he’s my brother-appointed guardian. Right, Cruz?”
A vise tightened around his heart, and he gritted his teeth against the pain. “Right.”
As the conversation turned to local politics he looked between Zoe and Kyle. Was there something going on? Was it possible Zoe had other reasons for wanting to keep their relationship secret?
He couldn’t get the bad taste out of his mouth all night, not even later as he and Zoe lay on the creek’s bank, holding hands and stealing kisses under the thick canopy of trees. Physically, things had progressed quickly between them. Last week they’d slept together for the first time, and he was still fighting his guilt over that.
Everything that had seemed so right now seemed secret and wrong. She meant so much more to him than a roll in the hay. But it was hard to restrain himself when being with her meant being alone, way out here where there wasn’t a soul for miles.
She pulled back from his embrace, scrutinizing him under the moonlit sky. She’d worked the buttons of his shirt, baring his chest to her touch.
He’d undone a couple of hers too, and her shirt gaped open. He was no saint. What was he doing? It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. “You seem tense tonight.”
He opened his mouth to say nothing, but he couldn’t make the words come out. He sat up and clasped his arms around his knees. A country ballad floated from the radio of his truck, joining the night sounds of crickets and katydids.
Zoe followed suit. “What is it?”
He thought of all the times he’d talked to her about telling Brady—and all the times she’d talked him out of it. He had to know if there was something else behind Zoe’s need to keep their relationship a secret.
He turned to her, wishing he could see her features better. “Is there something between you and Kyle?”
Her jaw slackened. “What?”
“He looks at you like he wants you.”
“It’s just part of the show.”
If she believed that, she was more naïve than he thought. “It’s not just when you’re onstage, Zoe.” He hated the insecurity in his voice. It was something he struggled with. A boy didn’t have his dad walk away without absorbing some damage.
She shook her head, staring at him, her eyes bewildered. “How can you ask that after last week? There’s nobody but you, Cruz. You’re all I think about. If you could get in my head for two seconds you’d see there’s no room for anyone else.” She smoothed her thumb over his jaw.
When she looked at him like that, touched him like she was doing now, how could he help but believe her?
But if it wasn’t Kyle, then why all the secrecy?
He wanted to date her openly. He was working so hard to prove himself at the store. He’d even been promoted to assistant manager a few weeks ago. Surely that would impress her father. He was going to make something of himself, prove himself worthy of her.
This relationship couldn’t go anywhere until they went public. Until they had the support of her family. But maybe she didn’t want it to go anywhere. The feeling that had been niggling at the back of his mind all these months twitched and burned. Maybe he was nothing but a romantic fling to pass the time until she went off to college and started her real life. Maybe she was ashamed of him.
He met her gaze, resolution lengthening his spine. “It’s time to tell Brady.”
“Not yet. He’s leaving for college next weekend. Maybe when he comes home on break.”
“Zoe, I need to do this. I need to come clean. I need to be honest.” It would’ve been easier to tell him before they’d slept together. Now his motives would look anything but innocent.
“What does it matter?”
“It matters, Zoe.” She flinched at his tone, and he made an effort to soften it. “I want to date you properly. I want to pick you up at your house and hold your hand in public. I want to shake your dad’s hand and be invited over for supper. Don’t you want that too?”
“Of course I do. It’s just—my dad can be so opinionated. And now that Mama’s not here to help soften him up . . . He’s already fired up about my putting off college another semester. We fought about it just last night.”
Excuses. That’s what it sounded like to him. She was going off to UGA in January, and she was just biding her time with him till then. Then she’d find a proper boyfriend who came from a similar background. Someone her dad could proudly introduce around town.
His chest tightened. “I’m tired of being your dirty little secret, Zoe.”
She reared back. “How can you say that?”
“Well, what do you call it? We’re sneaking around like thieves. You won’t acknowledge me in public.” He finally gave voice to the feelings that had been building all summer. “Are you ashamed of me?”
“No. Cruz, I swear I’m not.”
“I know I don’t come from the same background as you and your friends—”
“Stop it. That doesn’t matter to me. I told Granny and Hope, didn’t I?”
He looked at her for a long moment. There was nothing but sincerity shining in her eyes.
A breath tumbled from his chest. “Then we’ll tell Brady tomorrow. And then I’ll go to your dad and—”
“No!” She popped to her feet. “You’re going to spoil everything!”
“I’m trying to do the right thing!” He followed her back to the truck, his open shirttails flapping in the breeze. “Zoe, listen to me.”
The grass was high, and she reached the truck before he caught up with her. He planted his hands on either side of her, framing her in.
Her eyes sparkled with anger and tears. He hated getting her all riled up. Seeing her hurt. It was why he hadn’t pressed her before now.
“We need to talk about this,” he said. “We can’t keep putting this off.”
“You don’t know my dad, Cruz.”
“I can’t do this anymore.” He tried to brush her tears away, but she shoved his shoulder.
“Get away. Just get away from me!”
He started to ease back, but before he could get far pain exploded in his jaw. His body twisted with the impact, and he hit the ground with a thud.
Zoe screamed, and Cruz pushed up to find Brady standing over him, chest heaving with breath.
Anger rolled off him in waves. “Get up.”
Cruz held up a hand. “Brady, it’s not what you think.”
Zoe was suddenly between them, palms flat against her brother’s chest. “Stop it, Brady!”
He easily put her to the side. “Get up!”
Cruz came to his feet, and when Brady’s fist flew through the air he did nothing to stop it. Pain exploded across his cheekbone. He staggered backwards, Zoe’s scream ringing in his ears.
“Stop it! Stop it!”
“This is who you’ve been sneaking around with, Zoe? Seriously?” Brady paced away. “Button your shirt! We’re going home.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you!” She moved over to Cruz. Her face was streaked with tears. “Are you okay? You’re bleeding. Oh, my gosh.” She swept her thumb across Cruz’s lip.
“Come on, Z
oe!”
She nailed her brother with a look. “Shut up, Brady!”
Cruz took her hand. “It’s okay. I’m okay. Go on home.”
Her lips trembled. “I’m not going anywhere.”
His eye was swelling shut, but he could still see Brady in his peripheral vision, wired like a 240 VAC. He wasn’t in a mood to listen. This was exactly what he’d been afraid of.
“We’ll talk tomorrow,” Cruz told Zoe. “After things calm down. It’ll be okay.”
“I don’t want to leave you.”
“We’ll sort this out. I’ll be fine. Go on now.” He wanted to kiss her forehead, but touching her seemed like a bad idea.
She wavered, indecision shadowing her eyes. Finally she brushed her thumb over the corner of his eye. “Get some ice on that.”
“I will. I’ll be fine.”
She turned to go, looking back over her shoulder at him before she joined Brady, who reached for her elbow.
Zoe shook him off. “Don’t touch me. Don’t even talk to me!”
A minute later they were gone. Cruz got into his truck and headed toward his apartment. His head felt like it was going to explode. His one eye had swollen shut, and his lip felt fat too. But he had a feeling his physical injuries would pale in the face of what tomorrow would bring.
chapter fifteen
As the night before came rushing back Zoe closed her eyes, wanting to sink back into the oblivion of sleep. She’d had it out with Brady, and their quarrel had awakened their dad.
Now he knew about Cruz too, and just as she’d feared, he did not approve.
He’d immediately started pressing her to start college the fall semester—a mere two weeks away. He threatened to not pay at all if she didn’t cooperate. Without her mother to run interference, the argument had escalated into a shouting match.
She needed to talk to Cruz, but he wasn’t answering his phone. She hoped he’d be at church, but she had a sinking feeling he wouldn’t be. Unfortunately she’d volunteered to sing.
A few hours later her fears were confirmed. He was nowhere in the small crowd that gathered at Copper Creek Community Church. Of course he wouldn’t come. His face was probably black and blue thanks to her ignoramus brother. She shot Brady a sideways glare in the pew, which he missed entirely.
Blue Ridge Sunrise Page 8
