by Ben Hammott
Shadow had disappeared shortly after leaving Havasham Hall without saying goodbye and they hadn't seen her since. Furtive, although he seemed reluctant to leave, had left a few days after Ebenezer had moved into his new home, with the promise he would check up on the old man from time to time.
Butler's parting was difficult and sad, but he knew it was the right decision for him if not for Ebenezer. He needed to get away and relax for a while and to work out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life now he had the funds to do so. Even knowing it would supply the means for him to leave, Ebenezer had been very generous with his share of the treasure and told him if he ever needed more all he had to do was ask. Butler had promised to keep in contact and booked passage on a steam ship heading for the Caribbean.
Though he had purchased some suitable clothing for the hot Caribbean climate, Butler remained dressed in his Butler's uniform, a habit he was finding it hard to shake. There was no hurry, he told himself daily. He had only been here for two weeks and was willing to accept the change in his future gradually. He had taken off his shoes and socks, so he had made a start.
Shaded by an overhanging palm, he sipped his Pina colada cocktail, a tasty mixture of rum, pineapple and coconut milk, and gazed at the tranquil, turquoise sea. Gentle waves flowed and ebbed along the gently sloping shore of the deserted pale beach. He sighed with contentment as he readjusted his position on the padded sun-lounger. He doubted life could get better than it was at this very moment.
His nose wrinkled and fighting the desire to check the soles of his bare feet, he sighed.
"Hello, Butler. This place you've found is paradise. I bet it's not this nice in heaven and I wouldn't be surprised if God came here for a holiday it's that nice."
Butler raised his sunglasses and turned his head. Furtive lounged on a chair, a cocktail in one hand and a smoking cigar in the other. "What are you doing here?"
"Thought yer might be lonesome all on yer own, so I thought to meself, Butler would be glad of the company and so here I am. I can tell by the look on yer face it's a surprise. I do love surprises, don't you, mate?"
"Some are better than others." Butler then noticed the shorts and shirt Furtive wore. "Your clothes, which seem a few sizes too large for your scrawny form, look suspiciously like some of the ones I purchased soon after my arrival here."
Furtive glanced down at the white short sleeved shirt and blue shorts, flicked the wad of ash off and looked at Butler with a broad smile on his face. "There's a good reason for that."
Butler sighed.
"I have another surprise just as good as the last one…"
"You're not wearing any underpants."
"…No, not that, but you are right, I'm not." He squirmed in the chair and used a hand to release the shorts from the clutches of his sweaty buttocks.
Butler shivered.
Furtive's cigar pointed. "Look to your left."
Hesitantly Butler turned to his left. His eyebrows leapt to his forehead for a better view. Butler's wide open eyes thought they were in heaven as they roamed down the beautiful, bikini clad―black naturally―body of Shadow, until they were forced to focus on her face. "You look different," he said.
"Probably something to do with all this bare flesh on display and something you may have noticed when you ogled it just now."
"It was hard to miss," Butler admitted with a smile. "You also here to keep me company?"
"Nah, I'm just here for the sun. Dressed head to foot in black most of the time, it's nice to strip them off every so often and let the warm breeze caress my exquisite body."
"If the warm breeze gets bored, let me know and I'll jump in," offered Furtive hopefully.
"The only thing you'll be jumping in around here is the deep blue ocean. It's bad enough having your eyes creep lecherously over me without your hands adding to the discomfort."
"But Butler's are doing the same."
"No, Butler's eyes have no hint of the lecherousness yours are overflowing with; they admire the form and beauty that is me."
"Look, you two, I came here to relax in peace and quiet, so now you are here, let's all get along." Butler rested his head on the pillow, replaced the sunglasses over his eyes and let out a calming breath.
"What's the point of these little brollies's they put in the drinks," Furtive asked, twirling one between his fingers.
"They stop the sun from melting your ice cubes so quickly," Butler told him.
"Oh, yeah, that's amazing. What a brilliant idea." He looked at Butler. "Is there nothing you don't know the answer to?"
"If there is, it hasn't made itself known to me yet."
"It's wonderful here," stated Shadow.
"Paradise," said Furtive.
"Too damn crowded," said Butler.
Furtive giggled. "I love your sense of humour, Butler. See, you're having fun already."
Butler sighed. He was beginning to think only when he was dead would he truly be able to relax.
A few moments of quiet, that lasted longer than Butler had expected, was shattered by a commotion behind him.
"Careful, Lurch, you are spilling my drink."
"Sorry, Sir, but I can't see where I am putting my feet with you blocking my view."
"I don't want excuses, Lurch, just be careful. Drop me and you're fired."
"Is that a promise, Sir?" The hope was so obvious even Ebenezer detected it.
"No it damn well isn't. Oh, look, there are the others." He raised a scrawny arm and waved. "Yahoo, I'm here."
Butler raised his sunglasses and peered at a small dark spot in the sea. Though he wasn't certain if it was a shark fin, he was willing to take a gamble and swim out to it in a distressed manner as possible and maybe even cut a vein to entice it over. The sun and the view of the shark that might have saved him from this torment, was abruptly blocked by something large and smiling.
"Hello, Butler."
"Hello, Sir."
He raised his eyes to look at Ebenezer held in Lurch's tree trunk arms. "Hello, Ebenezer. Hello, Lurch."
Ebenezer grinned. "Fancy seeing you here, just shows what a small world it is, eh?"
"Yes, Sir, that you should bump into me in the exact same place I told you I was coming to is an amazing coincidence and one I fathom to comprehend."
"Did you miss me?"
"Not for as long as I hoped, Sir."
"Still got yer dry sense of humour I see. Okay, Lurch, you can put me down now… in a chair!" he added quickly when he felt the man relax his grip."
Lurch laid Ebenezer gently on the lounger next to Butler and sat on the sand gazing out to sea.
Butler closed his eyes and waited for the next disturbance to shatter his relaxing holiday. It wasn't long coming.
A woman screamed.
Another quickly followed.
A loud howl filled the air.
Butler sighed.
A man's voice shouted, "It's a wolf!"
Lurch glanced toward the commotion with a broad smile on his face. "Wolfy's made some new friends." He whistled a whistle so shrill Butler thought his glass would shatter along with his ear drums.
Wolfy ran onto the beach, circled them all once, taking a wide berth around Furtive, bounded over to Butler, ran his tongue over his face dislodging his sunglasses before laying on the sand next to Lurch, his tail flapping back and forth flicked sand into the air and onto Butler's feet.
Butler looked at the Wolf being stroked lovingly by Lurch. The beast certainly seemed happy and displayed none of its former viciousness.
"I was talking to the barman earlier," said Furtive.
"Ah, that's explains the violent vomiting I heard," said Butler.
Furtive continued. "And he was telling me about all the pirate treasure that's rumoured to be hidden around these parts, including a lost treasure galleon belonging to Red Beard, the most feared pirate that ever plundered and murdered his way across the ocean. So I got to thinking…"
"Never a good thing," said
Butler.
"Why don't us lot go and search for some of this lost plunder. I know we don't need the money, but it'll be an adventure and we have to do something for fun."
"Something I was actually experiencing until a few moments ago," said Butler.
"You'd soon get bored lounging about drinking fancy delicious cocktails in this paradise…"
"I'm sure I wouldn't, given the chance." Butler argued.
"…We are the perfect team to go looking for lost pirate treasure. We have my excellent thieving skills, Butler's brains, Lurch's considerable brawn, Eye Candy's impressive stealth…"
"I am not eye candy," said Shadow.
Four pairs of eyes glanced at her in protest.
"Okay, so I am, guilty as charged milord, but I'd prefer to be addressed by my name."
"Okay, duly noted, Shadow, so as I was saying, we are the perfect team to go looking for lost treasure."
Ebenezer coughed rather obviously. "You seem to have forgotten to mention the skills of a certain member of the team."
Furtive looked at the old man. "Well, you, Ebenezer, have 'em, ah." He glanced at the others desperately. "I could do with some help here."
None was immediately forthcoming until Lurch, surprisingly, spoke.
"Mr. Ebenezer is a lonely old man who realized too late a life without friends is not a life he wants to be part of. Look at us, we are all loners, but together we are a family, yes, dysfunctional at times, most definitely, but without Mr. Ebenezer none of us would have met or be here now. We need him as much as he needs us. I know I do. I have known Ebenezer longer than I have my own parents.
"Looking like I do and how children like to tease anything strange, my childhood was not a happy one. Though my parents did their best and loved me and were always kind, I could tell I was not the child they had longed for. When I was ten years old I wrote them a note saying I was going on an adventure and they weren't to worry and I loved them, and then left home. I sometimes went back and hid in the trees on the hill overlooking their house so I could watch. A year after I left they had another son, a normal boy and a year later another child, a girl. It made me happy to watch them laugh and play. I wanted nothing more than to run down the hill and share in this wonderful family life, but I didn't, because I knew I would ruin everything. They were better off without me. I turned away and never returned. I wandered across the country, avoiding the big towns as much as possible and got work at farms, or cutting wood for people and other odd jobs, but nothing that lasted long. People's pity doesn't last forever.
"One day I was walking along the road having no idea where I had come from or where I was going, when I heard the sound of horses behind me. I stepped to the side of the narrow road to let a carriage pass and it stopped a short way in front. A man, Ebenezer, poked his head out, looked at me for a few moments and then said, 'If you want work, climb aboard.' I climbed aboard and have been with Ebenezer ever since. I have no idea why he stopped and offered me work, but I do know it wasn't because he had a job vacancy to fill.
"Why I told you that story is because Ebenezer and Mr. Butler are my family, and you Furtive and Shadow are my friends. None of you judge me by how I look or because my brain is a bit slow. I feel normal around you all and I like that. So, perhaps Ebenezer's skill is in bringing likeminded people together. Though I don't rightly know if that is a skill, I do think it's important. I left my family once and I won't do so again. If Ebenezer is not on the team then nor am I, because I go where he goes and that's all I want to say."
There was silence for a moment.
Ebenezer wiped a tear from his eye and sniffed. "You ever say anything as heart-warming, kind and thoughtful as that again, Lurch, and you're fired."
"Is that a promise, Sir?"
"No, it damn well isn't."
"Of course we are going to stay together, Lurch," reassured Butler. "But sometimes we have to part for a while to realise what we had and how much we miss it."
Ebenezer smiled warmly and felt another tear form.
"So, back to my suggestion," prompted Furtive, totally unaware of anyone's emotional state, "What do you think about hunting for this pirate treasure?"
"I'll give it some thought," Butler told him. He looked at Lurch's brightly coloured Hawaiian shirt and shorts, wondering where he had managed to find some large enough to fit his massive bulk. "You okay, Lurch?"
Lurch turned his head and smiled. "Yes, Butler, I am." He returned his gaze upon the ocean.
Butler smiled. That was the first time the large man had called him by his name without the addition of a Mr. or a Sir.
"Oh, I'm okay as well, thanks for asking."
Butler hesitantly looked at his former employer. The small shorts he wore left too much wrinkled flesh on display to make one eager to set their eyes in his direction willingly. "I'm glad to hear it, Sir. You look good. A bit of colour on your pale, grey skin I believe."
"It's getting out of that damn dreary place and away from the bleak English weather that's done it. This sun is just what the doctor ordered."
"Em, no, not really, Sir. The doctor's words, as I recall, were, 'if your pale corpselike skin was ever exposed to bright sunlight for any length of time you'd burn like a vampire caught in daylight.'"
"Bah! Doctors think they know everything. Anyway, I brought protection. Lurch, where's my sun lotion?"
Lurch pulled a bottle from his shirt pocket and passed it to Ebenezer. "Would you like me to rub some on, Ebenezer?"
"No I wouldn't. Your hands are so rough it's like being rubbed with a house brick. Shadow can do it."
"In your dreams, old man. There's no way I'm getting anywhere near that wrinkled corpse of yours, let alone touching it."
"You don't know what you are missing," he said, adding a grin.
"I've heard the disgusting rumours and had the resulting nightmares because of them."
"Well, as there is no way I am letting sewer-mouth get too close to me…"
"Hey, that is the first time I have ever been glad to have foul breath, well actually, no, the second."
"An event that has yet to manifest itself to all others who have encountered it," said Butler.
Ebenezer continued as if the interruption had not happened. "…that only leaves you, Butler." He held out the bottle of lotion.
Butler's eyes desperately searched the ocean for any sign of the shark, but along with his chances of redemption, it too had disappeared. He sighed and took the bottle of lotion.
"I also have some cream for my bunions and that strange boil on one of my butt cheeks might need to be popped, but you can do that later, before we have dinner."
"Oh, what pleasure, Sir, my enjoyment never ends."
Unlike Butler's never-ending enjoyment, I am sorry to say this is The End of this story, but, lucky readers, please don't be disheartened, because it is not the last adventure Butler and company will have. They will soon return in a new misadventure. Please check my website benhammottbooks.com for updates and news of my other books.
I hope you enjoyed reading THE LOST INHERITENCE MYSTERY and you would consider doing me the great service of telling all your friends, including those on Facebook, tweet, write a review, (yes I know it's a pain, but it only needs to be a short one,) and spread the word any way you can. Authors starting down this publication road, of which I am one, need all the help and encouragement we can get, and believe me, it is appreciated.
Thank you so much.
Ben Hammott
Sorry, I have no Blog at the moment, just my website, but if I can get to grips with its infernal machinations, I should have one up and plodding shortly.
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Dead Dragons Gold - Book 1
A Gathering of Dwarfs
(Lost Legends, Missing Myths and Forgotten Fables Book 1)
"This book will appeal to fans of Terry Pratchett's Discworld Sagas."
"An exciting humorous fantasy adventure which reveals what happened to the 7 dwarfs after Prince Charming had claimed Snow White as his bride."
"A dark fantasy tale interjected with humour interwoven in an original plot that will change your view of Snow White's seven dwarfs."
"If you like your fantasy stories full of originality and humour, this is the book for you and one for Pratchett fans of all ages. Highly recommended."
Not every Fairy Tale ends happily for all...
A dauntless young hero.
An impossible quest.
A Hunt for Dead Dragons Gold.
We all know Snow White lived happily ever after, but what happened to the seven dwarfs?
When their diamond mine becomes choked with the barbed roots of the thorny hedge the wicked queen erected around their land the dwarfs are forced to split up and survive using their various talents of Assassin, Thief, Bounty Hunter, Medicus, Pirate, Inventor and Priest.
After many years their lives change with the appearance of an unlikely young adventurer whose plan is to plunder the treasure hoards of the many long dead dragons. However, to achieve this he needs the foremost book on dragons containing a map depicting every location of the deceased dragons lairs. A snag in his plan is only one copy of this book exists, and it's in possession of the wicked queen who was not killed as the popular story would have everyone believe but is very much alive.
Banished to the top of a lonely mountain she will only relinquish her ownership of the book if he can set her free.
All he has to do is track down the seven dwarfs scattered across the kingdom and convince them to have the wizard lift the curse from the one they most hate. It will be a far from easy task.
For the first time, the fate of the seven dwarfs is revealed in an exciting, original story of heroic adventure, strange lands, terrifying creatures, death, dangerous deeds and dead dragons gold that takes place ten years after Snow White leaves with her not so charming prince.
