Bas nudged him. “Hey. Hello? You have an audience waiting with baited breath. What’s the first question?”
Dan looked down at his left thumb, read the question and squirmed all over again. “Really?” He hissed to Bas. “Really? Given that most people know me already, do we have to do this?”
“Megan’s cousins from New Plymouth don’t know you, nor the people she was at university with. They don’t even know me. Smile. Fake it. Read the question out loud. Then give us your answer.”
“Kill me now.”
“I’m not sure I’d find a suitable best-man replacement this close to the wedding. But sure, after the reception I’d be more than happy to oblige—”
There were around fifty pairs of eyes staring at him and waiting. Daniel died a little— this was worse than being in court. “Okay. Hi. I’m Daniel. Best Man. The question says: What are you most proud of?”
His eyes flitted from Bas’s face to Emma’s and back. Shit. What was he proud of? Not a whole lot, as it turned out.
“That you’re my best man?” Bas gave him a nudge in the ribs again and laughed. “Should be very proud, mate, eh? I had a line round the block for that job.”
“Yeah, right. And yet somehow they all pushed me to the front.” Pride wasn’t an emotion he’d experienced too often. That he’d pulled himself up out of the gutter? That he was four hundred and fifty two days’ sober? No-one wanted to hear that today. That he’d once been good enough to marry Emma Neale? His gaze settled on her and she frowned. Probably worried that he’d get mushy or sentimental. Or worse; slur his words, make a scene.
Megan smiled, encouragingly. She appeared to want to rescue him—she did that a lot. From bringing hot meals round to arranging boys’ nights just so he wouldn’t be on his own. Yep, they’d stuck by him—he didn’t know how he’d have survived without them. “Hey, Dan, how about the time you pulled that drowning dog out of the sea at Little Oneroa Beach?”
Emma’s eyebrows rose.
“Or that baby you delivered by the side of the road?” Bas, this time. “Or your epic marathon time? Hey, this guy went from shuffling round the block like a wheezing old man to kicking Usain Bolt’s ass in three months.”
Cheers all round as those fifty pairs of eyes traveled up and down Daniel’s body. Damn, he hated being the center of attention. But he dragged on a smile. Best man’s duty and all that. “Yeah, so, don’t worry, Megan, if Bas tries to do a runner before the wedding, he’s got no chance. I’ll catch him for you.”
Right now, Daniel felt like running the heck out of this nightmare but was duty-bound to hang around. And, truth be told, he had used the marathon training to put a few ghosts to rest. Nothing like clocking up seventy kilometers a week to cure insomnia.
He trawled his brain for something that he could duck under the radar with. “Okay. How about, scoring the winning goal last week for Waiheke Wanderers? Pub team, bottom of the league, woefully useless. But the goal meant we didn’t get the booby prize for the first time in five years. Best night of my life.” Not true. But pretty close to it these days. “Now, someone else’s turn for the spotlight.”
There were more cheers as he threw the ball towards a pretty blonde he’d never seen before.
“Oh! That was a good throw.” She caught it and laughed, blinking flirtatiously. She had huge blue eyes and glossed peach lips and, in another lifetime, Daniel might have been interested in getting to know her more. “Danny? Is that right? I’m Lucy. You saved a dog and delivered a baby?”
“It’s Daniel. And yes, but not at the same time. It wasn’t just me—I was part of a team.”
“You delivered the baby before the ambulance arrived and the parents named the kid after you,” Bas corrected him, overly loud.
What was this? Buff-up Daniel Day? He had a sneaky suspicion that his best mate and fiancée were playing a game called Make Daniel Look Good In Front Of His AWOL Wife. Great, just what he needed.
They had a bloody long way to go before she’d see him in anything like a positive light.
In his peripheral vision he saw Emma slowly breathe out. Then she nodded and laughed at something Megan whispered to her, head thrown back, ponytail bouncing up and down. And he was thrown back to the night they’d met in this very garden. The irony wasn’t lost on him.
He’d just been transferred to the island, where Bas had been working for a couple of years and had raved about the fishing and surfing and laidback lifestyle. Bas arranged a barbecue to introduce him to a few of the locals. Emma was home on university holidays and snagged an invite for being Megan’s best friend.
The second Daniel set eyes on her he’d been completely lost, paying little attention to any of the other guests, or the time, or anything other than her. For a whole summer they’d been inseparable. She’d wept as he’d dropped her at the city’s airport to go back to medical school. For two years they’d managed their relationship long distance. It had worked then. They’d made it work because they hadn’t been able to imagine a future without each other. Then they’d married and vowed never to be apart again.
So much for vows.
Bas nudged him. “The game? You’re supposed to be coordinating it.”
“Oh. Yes.” Dan dragged his eyes away from her and focused on the smiling blonde girl. “So, what’s your embarrassing question?”
“Ooh. Yes. Hi everyone, I’m Lucy. Bas’s cousin, for my sins. The question says: What was your best ever Christmas present? Oh, I don’t know…ooh, that’s hard… my first mobile phone, I guess. I loved that.” Then she bit her bottom lip and giggled, peering wide-eyed at him through impossibly long eyelashes and whispered, “Maybe you could find your way into my stocking this year, Danny?”
“It’s Daniel.” And he was sure she was a nice girl underneath the flirt. He just wasn’t feeling it. Thing was, he hadn’t felt it for a long time. “I think you need to throw the ball now?”
After thirty minutes the ball had been tossed back and forth across the crowd and Dan had managed to slink to the barbecue and help with the cooking. Finally it was Emma’s turn to play.
She caught it expertly, cheeks reddening as she read out the question, “What’s the worst job in the world?” Her accent was interestingly tinged with northern English flat vowels. “Doctor, obviously. We see some pretty yucky stuff and do some really gross things that I never imagined I’d be doing. But it’s the best job too.” She paused and frowned. “Er…sorry, I just realized I didn’t introduce myself. Hello, everyone. I’m Emma, Maid of Honor—if you want any evil gossip on the bride, I’m your girl. There’s very little that Meg’s done that I won’t kiss and tell— for a price. I accept bribes in cash, wine or chocolate. God, this is embarrassing isn’t it? Anyone not had a turn?”
Bas nodded towards Daniel and nudged him forward. Oh, and yeah, first rule of best man duties; do everything the groom doesn’t want to.
Daniel stepped up beside Emma, given all eyes were on her. “Great, I think we’re all done with Chatterball. Thanks, Emma.” He took the ball from his wife’s hands and found himself smiling at her. She’d always been super-confident but tonight she seemed a little wary. Nervous maybe? That seemed unlikely; they both knew she’d been absolutely doing the right thing when she’d left. It just hadn’t felt like it as she’d closed that door on their lives. “We’ll take time out to eat now. The food’s all ready. Tomorrow’s a free day, so for those of you who don’t know what Waiheke Island has to offer I’ll fill you in: you can hang out at the beach, go for a swim, visit some of the many vineyards around the place, although we are doing a tour on Christmas Eve. But tomorrow, we’ll meet up at Matiatia for an evening kayak and beach picnic at six o’clock if you fancy it.” He dragged in air, stalling as he tried to remember everything on Bas’s list of things-to-do. “Oh, and there’s a Santa parade in Oneroa from twelve until two tomorrow afternoon. I’d stay well away if I were you, but if you do venture that way, be careful of low flying candy and lots of happy, screaming
children.”
“And police officers behaving badly,” Bas added with a grin. “Come along and watch Dan have the best fun. He loves the Santa Parade, right mate? All that smiling and waving and people being happy about Christmas. This year he’s actually on the float. You have been warned—he may be dancing.”
On the outside, anyway. Dan nodded. He’d never understood what all the fuss was about Christmas. One day of pointless presents and tolerating people he’d chosen not to spend the last three hundred and sixty four days with. Latterly, he’d spent the days on his boat, on his own. “It won’t be pretty so you’re probably better off staying well clear. Anyway, thanks to everyone for coming and joining in. Enjoy the rest of the evening, see you tomorrow for a kayak if not before.”
He was just about to wander off home when he felt a warm hand on his arm. The spiking hairs on the back of his neck told him exactly who it was. The unexpected thud of his heart reminded him he wasn’t finished feeling things for her no matter how much he’d tried.
“You delivered a baby? And you’re on the police float? Dancing?” Emma’s eyes narrowed, but some of the wariness had gone, there was laughter there now. “Who are you? And what have you done with Danny Wade?”
He let the nickname go—she’d chosen it after all. “It’s my job, you have to put yourself out there. No-one else was there to catch the baby when it arrived, so it was up to me. Just one of those timing things, no big deal. And yes, I’m on the float. Community initiative…giving a friendly face to the guys on the beat. You know how it goes.”
“The Danny Wade of old would rather have worked a double shift doing paperwork than do that.”
“That guy has gone, Emma.”
She looked at him for a few moments, eyebrows peaking. “And this is the new and improved version?”
“I like to think so.” He wasn’t ready for this; an analysis of who he was. Or the hot streak of need that was still running through him from the briefest touch of her skin on his, and the sharp sting of want at the smell of her light flowery perfume. It felt as if some maniac had set off fireworks in his gut. The way he used to feel when she smiled at him, when she kissed him. Somehow he’d have to get used to that over the next few days.
And take a few cold showers.
CHAPTER THREE
“Good to see the Santa Parade’s as cheesy and full of nostalgia as always.” Emma laughed as she waved to the grinning children dressed up as sheep and cows and goats and who baa-ed and moo-ed at her from a slow moving truck. “What’s that one meant to be? Ah…a petting farm. Okay. And relevant to Christmas, why?”
“Maybe they’re the animals from the nativity, don’t ask me. There doesn’t have to be a reason. You love it all and don’t deny it. I remember you being unbearable when you were Parade Princess in year six.” Megan pulled a face as they slowly meandered down the main street. “And I wasn’t.”
“Yes, well, that’s because my mum organized the whole thing.”
“Yeah, it’s who you know, right?”
“Believe me, I would have preferred to have been the angel, or the moose—you all seemed to be having such fun while I had to sit still and wave, royally. Oh, look, there’s Santa in the distance.” Mum had a habit of pushing her daughter into situations she didn’t want to be in as Emma grew up. Right now, though, she was in a whole new situation of her own making. And it didn’t feel so great.
They’d arrived late, trying to organize a group of nineteen out-of-towners had worn Emma’s edges just a little thin, and missed half the floats. As Santa’s was the last, and it was just about to crawl past, she assumed the police one had already gone by. For some reason that bothered her more than it should have.
All around her excited kids aged anywhere between one year and ninety clapped and waved as floats depicting scenes such as the beach, trash to treasure, and even a traditional frozen landscape with fake snow rolled along the main road towards the central township of Oneroa. Local businesses had come out in support, providing the requisite Christmas music, sausage sizzle, and cold drinks. Next, a brass band marched by tooting a cheerful carol, then surf lifesavers rolled along in a dinghy on wheels throwing candy out to the spectators. The smell of diesel mingled with salty sea-spray air and eucalyptus. It was exactly as Emma remembered.
Although, miraculously for this side of Christmas, the sun had come out to play too. And with every step they got nearer and nearer to Danny’s house. Their house.
“How are you feeling?” As if she sensed Emma’s unease Megan wrapped an arm around her. “You’ll be fine. Honestly.”
“I know. It just seems so sad to be drawing a line under it all and collecting my last few things. When I left I was happy to let him have everything apart from my clothes and a few knick-knacks, but the longer I’ve been away, the more I want to have a couple of things to cherish from this part of my life. Before I walk away for good.”
“No going back, then? No romantic reunion?”
“I’m not sure splitting our worldly goods is classed as romantic, Megan. Nor are divorce papers.” Emma patted her bag and checked she still had them. Then remembered she wasn’t going to tell Megan about this until later. A lot later. Especially since she’d confessed to pre-wedding jitters.
“Oh.” Megan slowed her pace, hanging back from their visitors who, thankfully, were far more interested in catching candy and slurping gelato than eavesdropping. “Is that what you want? Like, really?”
Was it? The pain in Emma’s heart made her think not. But her head told her otherwise. “Yes,” she answered, adding as much determination as she could muster. ‘It’s the right thing to do. I’ve got the papers in my bag for him to sign. Legally we’ve been separated for two years, we can now officially split and sort this out once and for all. We have to let go otherwise it’ll get awkward if either of us want to marry someone else.” Emma realized, with a pang in her heart, that Megan looked traumatized. “Not that I have anyone in mind. And now I’ve ruined your day. I’m sorry. Danny and I were all about the sex and the fun, really. We just couldn’t sustain a long term thing especially once things got difficult.”
And she’d thought she’d made peace with it, but judging by the ache in her heart she suspected she hadn’t, fully. Would she ever be able to completely let go of him?
“You were together for years, of course you could sustain long term. You just had some obstacles that were too big for you to get over at the time. You were going in different directions for a start then there was that accident and…well, anyone would have struggled in your shoes. But can I ask you a question? Did you ever…oh, never mind.” Megan frowned, opened and closed her mouth as if she was going to say something more.
“Are you okay, Meg?”
“Sure.”
But Emma sensed her friend wasn’t okay at all. “Were you serious about what you said yesterday? About pre-wedding nerves?”
Megan shrugged. “No, not really. Oh, to be honest, I don’t know… It’s just such a big step.”
“You adore him.”
“Yes. Yes, I do. But you adored Daniel. I keep wondering if we’re grown-up enough to make it work? You know what happened to my Mum and Dad. And…well, you and Dan…and Thomas and Pip. People split, it’s a fact of life.”
Emma drew her friend in for a hug, hanging on just a little longer than usual as she vowed to be more positive about everything from this moment onwards. She couldn’t bring her friend down, not at this important moment of her life. And she felt sure that Megan’s fears were normal and natural. “Yes. Yes. But you and Bas will be able to get through anything. You’re made for each other. You will be living the fairytale and well, I didn’t. I could have dealt with it better. And so could Danny. I shouldn’t have mentioned d.i.v.o.r.c.e. I’m sorry, my timing’s lousy.”
“Don’t be silly. It’s hardly a surprise. And don’t worry about me, I’m fine. Really I am. Once I actually said the words out loud I realized how stupid I was being. I do love Bas on
e hundred percent.” The bride-to-be dragged on a reassuring smile, although Emma wasn’t sure who Megan was trying to convince. “Okay well, we’re almost there. Good luck with Dan, honey. You know where I am if you need me. Be gentle with yourself and don’t do anything you might regret.”
Like falling straight into his arms again? Or signing on the dotted line?
Yesterday option one hadn’t even entered her head. But Megan was right, he was different, even in the short time she’d spent with him she could see that. Not back to the crazy, carefree old Dan she’d fallen in love with, but he seemed somehow more confident, more at ease with himself, more whole than he’d been before. Maybe he’d finally forgiven himself?
Then there it was; their little two bedroom house, a step back from the main road but an easy stride for a take-out coffee. She inhaled deeply as her heart pounded. Crunch time.
Emma didn’t know what she’d been expecting, but it was exactly as she’d left it. She knew the upkeep of a house was something you did with pride and effort and time. Their house had been well-kept. The cedar slats were still oiled and shiny. The front door was still letterbox red, although the odd dints and scratches she remembered from before had been painted over, and the smart window boxes were full of gerberas in a rainbow of acid colors. That was a surprise—always on her list and never quite managed.
The native tea tree bush they’d planted when they’d moved in stood strong in their front garden, wearing fresh bright pink flowers and smelling like summer. The sun was still shining. People were still laughing. Nothing had changed. Except the thud of her heart. The sweat on her palms.
Clearly he’d worked hard on the place.
Too late.
I’m doing the right thing. For both of us.
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