Drama Queen

by Susannah McFarlane

  ‘Okay everyone, quiet on the set...’

  EJ could see a woman holding a megaphone and sitting on a director’s chair on the edge of the clear area. There were two women with large cameras on either side of her and three other women with large spotlights. The woman in the chair must be the director, thought EJ.

  ‘And action!’ cried the director.

  Everything went silent then EJ heard another woman talking.

  ‘You, you, you...’

  ‘And cut,’ said the director through the megaphone. ‘Sydney, the line is, “You won’t catch me!” Can you remember that? It’s quite a small line.’

  ‘Well, like obviously, I was distracted, I...’

  ‘Okay then, let’s go again. Quiet everybody and action!’

  ‘You won’t catch it! Oh darn it!’

  ‘And cut!’ cried the director, her voice sounding tired and more than a little irritated. ‘Okay, people, let’s take five. Sydney, we need to talk about your lines.’

  Everyone started talking again and EJ watched as the camerawomen moved cameras to new locations, lighting women adjusted lights and other people wrote on clipboards and talked noisily into phones.

  ‘I need to get a bit closer,’ she said to herself, ‘and without being noticed.’ And then she walked into a large box, knocking it over. A few people turned around at the noise but EJ quickly ducked behind another box.

  Not a great start to not being noticed, thought EJ but then as she looked at what fell out of the box, she thought it might have been a clever move after all. EJ had knocked over a box of clothing and she picked up a pink cap with the word CREW across the top.

  ‘Perfect,’ said EJ as she put the cap on and walked out of the storage area and towards the set. She clipped her phone to her shorts and put in her earpiece. Next she took her spy pad charm and activated it and put it under her arm. Now with her crew cap, phone and pad, she looked busy and involved like everyone else.

  As EJ walked on, she could see that the set location was divided into different areas. There was the catering area with huge camping stovetops and long tables and benches where people sat having coffee. There was the technical area with film equipment, cameras and large spotlights all stored in large vans. There was a costume department with racks and racks of clothes and boots, including a whole rack of black trench coats just like the one Sydney Radisson wore in Spy Movie. It was there that EJ spied a lanyard with a security card hanging on a coathanger on one of the racks. EJ looked around and then casually picked up the pass. It was a lighting crew pass. Someone must have left it there.

  Lighting, that’s appropriate for a SHINE agent, thought EJ. She took her spy pad, whispered her code name and keyed in her code. She then pressed the photo-shop app and smiled. There was a quick flash, EJ looked at the screen, pressed a few buttons and waited. A green light went on and a small passport-sized photo slid out from a slit at the bottom of the pad.

  ‘Not my best but it will do,’ said EJ as she took the photo, peeled off the back and stuck it over the existing photo on the pass. If no one looked too closely, they would never know. Special Agent EJ12 was now officially on location.

  EJ left the costume area and headed up towards the clear area and the large circle of people. As she approached, she could see scaffolding nearly ten metres high with a platform at the top on which four people were standing. As EJ walked around to where she could see the other side of the scaffold, she realised it had been made up to look like the outside of an office building, and the women on top of the platform now looked as if they were standing on the roof of a high-rise office block. Next to them was another high scaffold but this one had a lift and cameras attached so the camerawomen could film at any height. On the ground, in front of the building façade, was a large pile of soft mattresses, like the ones EJ used at gymnastics. As EJ got closer, she could see it was Sydney Radisson on the platform holding a white fluffy cat, surrounded by three other women, one with a tin of hairspray and comb, one with a little case and one holding a bottle of water. Sydney looked bored and cross.

  She looks much smaller, and grumpier, in real life, thought EJ.

  ‘Okay, let’s get ready to go again,’ cried the director through her megaphone. ‘We are going to try the jump scene again. This is scene six. Agent White is being chased by Agent Black and is now standing on the top of a building. She calls after her and then jumps, carefully avoiding the four old ladies walking their poodles. Okay everybody, cue old ladies, cue poodles!’

  From the side, four old ladies, wearing long coats and carrying walking sticks walked out, each with a small black poodle on a red leash.

  ‘Perfect, old ladies, keep walking, please. Camera one, stay on the ladies, camera two on the poodles, please, and cue Sydney.’

  Sydney Radisson passed her cat to the woman holding the water bottle and stepped forward to the edge of the platform.

  ‘Perfect and check hair,’ cried the director.

  The girl with the comb rushed forward and fiddled with Sydney’s hair before spraying enormous amounts of hairspray over it.

  ‘Thank you,’ cried the director. ‘Make-up check, please,’

  The other girl came forward and brushed some powder on Sydney’s cheeks and applied some lipstick and then stepped back out of the camera shot.

  ‘Okay, lighting is good, roll cameras and action!’

  Sydney put her hand up as if to shield her eyes from the sun and looked out and then down towards to the ground. She looked behind her and called out, ‘You won’t catch me!’ Then she leant forward over the edge of the platform.

  ‘And cut! At last! Beautiful, Sydney, just beautiful, darling,’ the director cried. ‘Cue stunt. Camera three get ready for the jump.’

  Sydney stood back and snatched her cat back from the assistant while another woman, dressed in exactly the same costume and with identical hair as her stepped forward.

  ‘And action!’

  While Sydney sipped on her water on the side and stroked her cat, the stuntwoman walked up to the edge of the platform and jumped out and down on to the safety mattresses below. She got up, brushed some dirt off her pants and walked off.

  Sydney didn’t do the stunts, realised EJ. She hardly does anything at all!

  ‘And cut! Okay, people, that’s a wrap for this scene. And listen up, there’s a change to the schedule. Sydney, we have deleted the speedboat scene. Our next and your last scene will be the bridge scene at the reservoir.’

  Sydney dropped her water bottle and her cat, which nearly fell off the platform. Sydney didn’t notice. ‘That’s not supposed to be until tomorrow,’ she shouted to the director. ‘I’m not prepared. I need my rest!’

  ‘You will be fine, Sydney, you will be fantastic!’ the director reassured her.

  ‘I will not be fantastic. I will be exhausted. You will have to change the schedule.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Sydney, I really am but I can’t do anything about it,’ the director replied. ‘The city has really stepped up security around the reservoirs and we only have bridge access this afternoon.’

  ‘You, you, you...’ stuttered Sydney, her eyes narrowing. ‘You can’t do this! This is unbelievable! I am going to my trailer! I need to rest!’

  After what? wondered EJ. She said one line.

  The platform was lowered and Sydney’s cat ran off while Sydney stormed off in the direction of a row of silver caravan-like trailers that were parked at the back of the shooting area. EJ watched as the movie star began furiously texting on her phone.

  Should I follow her? wondered EJ.

  It was her phone and a message from SHINE.

  Someone on the set was sending a message to a SHADOW agent. EJ looked around—nearly everyone was using a phone. The message could have been sent by any one of the people on the set. But then she looked at Sydney again, who was now almost running to her trailer. EJ had a hunch—and she had learned to follow her hunches—and that meant following Sydney Radisson.

&nb
sp; EJ approached the line of trailers. These were the leading actors’ trailers, long silver caravans that became the stars’ home-away-from-home when they were shooting a film on location. There were four trailers, one very large one and three smaller ones. EJ was guessing that Sydney Radisson’s was the very large one. She was careful to keep her cap down and stay well back as she trailed Sydney, who was still texting. Was it Sydney who had sent the message to a SHADOW agent? Was she texting another one now? If the answer was yes, did that mean Sydney Radisson worked for SHADOW?Suddenly Sydney swung around and stared directly at EJ who also quickly spun on her heels and began to walk in the opposite direction.

  ‘You!’ cried out Sydney.

  Is she talking to me? wondered EJ. I really hope she is not talking to me.

  ‘You in the pink cap!’

  Yes, she is. Have I been found out?

  ‘You! Come here!’ shouted Sydney.

  EJ turned around slowly.

  ‘Bring me my cat! She’s on the chair over there.’

  EJ leant over to pick up the fluffy white cat whose tail was twitching from side to side. As EJ picked her up, she noticed her pink collar and shiny, diamond-studded pendant with a large S on it. As the pendant fell across her hand, EJ felt how heavy it was.

  ‘I’d be cross too if I had that thing around my neck,’ she whispered to the cat. ‘Come on, let’s take you to your grumpy owner.’

  EJ walked up to Sydney, keeping her eyes down. ‘Here you are, Ms Radisson,’ she mumbled, holding out the cat.

  Sydney grabbed the cat, turned and walked up to the large trailer, opened the door and slammed it shut behind her. EJ relaxed. She hadn’t been found out. It seemed Sydney only wanted her cat—even though she didn’t seem that fond of it—and to get to her trailer, quickly.

  EJ edged closer to the trailer. When she was about two metres from the door she stopped, took out her spy pad and pressed the X-ray app, holding the pad in front of her. While to a passer-by it would look as if EJ was just reading something in her folder, she was actually looking right into Sydney Radisson’s trailer. But EJ knew she couldn’t just stand out the front of the star’s trailer. She moved around to the side where she would not be noticed so easily. The inside of the trailer was like a luxury hotel. There were plush red sofas and a long, shaggy white rug on the floor. There was a glass coffee table that held an enormous vase with dozens of white orchids and a bowl of chocolate bars, double-fudge chocolate, EJ assumed. From the roof hung a glittering chandelier. One wall was covered with mirrors and another with a row of black cupboards with gold handles and locks. EJ watched as Sydney put her phone down on the coffee table, picked up a sheet of paper and sat on the sofa. Eating a chocolate bar and stroking her cat, she studied the sheet intently.

  Perhaps she is just learning her lines for the next scene, thought EJ.

  EJ watched for more than half an hour and nothing happened. Sydney just sat and read, eating chocolate bars and checking her phone now and then. Just as EJ was thinking that maybe Sydney Radisson was just a bad-tempered movie star and not a SHADOW agent at all, Sydney did something unusual. She checked her phone and then looked back at the papers and wrote something down. She got up, tickled her cat under its neck and then reached up and opened one of the cupboards above the table. She took out three large, pretty-looking bottles, all with a large letter S on the front. There was a pink, an orange and a blue bottle. EJ watched as Sydney shut the cupboard and then tickled the cat under the neck again.

  She really likes her cat, thought EJ, even though she thought the cat still looked pretty grumpy. But what are those bottles? I need a closer look. She zoomed in with her X-ray. The bottles looked like perfume bottles but they seemed to have something other than liquid in them. EJ zoomed again. They were, as EJ knew they would be, full of tiny balls.

  These must be the bottles the delivery women were talking about, thought EJ. She watched as Sydney looked at her sheet of paper and picked up the orange bottle and gave it a shake. What is she doing?

  Then EJ was distracted as a woman ran up to the trailer. Just in case she was seen, EJ stepped back and began talking into her phone as the woman knocked on Sydney’s trailer. With her X-ray app, EJ watched Sydney quickly give her cat yet another scratch under the neck and then open the cupboard and put the bottles away before giving her cat one more tickle. She threw the paper she had written onto the table then looked towards the door and called out. EJ guessed she was saying ‘Come in’, as the woman then entered the trailer.

  Why would Sydney pet her cat if she is in such a hurry and why would she need to hide the bottles? wondered EJ. Things were definitely getting more suspicious.

  EJ could hear voices in the trailer. She couldn’t make out the words but there was no doubt that Sydney wasn’t happy. Her voice was getting louder and louder. ‘If I have to,’ she finally yelled at the woman as the door suddenly burst open and she stomped down the steps in her high heels.

  EJ came out from beside the trailer and walked past, scribbling furiously on her pad. Sydney didn’t even look at her as she and the woman walked off.

  EJ knew she couldn’t keep following Sydney. Sooner or later she would notice her. From what EJ had seen though, she needed to keep tabs on Ms Radisson, and she’d thought of a way to do it.

  EJ walked towards the shooting area and stopped at the catering tent, taking one of the water bottles out of a large fridge. EJ then took her star charm from her bracelet and twisted. Within seconds it shrank to a tiny, sticky star in EJ’s hand. EJ hoped her little plan would work. She took a deep breath and shouted out, ‘Ms Radisson! Ms Radisson!’

  Sydney Radisson turned back looking surprised and more than a little cross. ‘Are you talking to me?’ she snapped.

  EJ ran up to her. ‘Yes, sorry for yelling, Ms Radisson, but you forgot your water.’

  ‘I have my water right here, can’t you see, can’t you see that?’ snapped Sydney, glaring at EJ.

  EJ gulped. ‘No, that water is no good,’ she said, thinking quickly. ‘This one has added nutrients. It’s been especially ordered for you.’

  ‘Oh well in that case, why didn’t you say so? Give it to me!’ said Sydney even more rudely this time. ‘Come on, I don’t have all day!’

  EJ leant forward to pass Sydney the bottle and as she did, she pretended to stumble.

  ‘Hey!’ cried Sydney as EJ grabbed the bottom of her trench coat. ‘What are you doing, you stupid girl?’

  ‘Oh gosh, I am so sorry,’ said EJ, stroking Sydney’s trench coat back into place. ‘Sorry, sorry, Ms Radisson, I tripped. Here is your water. I’ll leave now,’ said EJ.

  ‘Good idea,’ said Sydney turning her back on EJ and walking onto the set.

  ‘Yes it was,’ said EJ to herself as she re-opened her pad and pressed the star-tracker app. A map appeared on the screen with a yellow star. When Sydney moved, the star would flash as it moved along the map. A red light indicated EJ’s position. EJ had successfully put the homing device on Sydney’s trench coat and would now know where she was at all times. That was good, very good. But what she most needed to know now was what those little balls were in the perfume bottles. She headed back towards Sydney Radisson’s trailer to find out.

  It was another message from SHINE. EJ opened it and read.

  EJ checked the time. The text was received only three minutes ago. Was that what Sydney had seen on her phone? Was that what made her get up and go to the cupboard? EJ could see the message was clearly a code and if it was a coded message going to Sydney Radisson, then it was confirmed: Sydney Radisson had to be working with SHADOW. She was obviously a better actor than EJ had thought. But what was the code? EJ12 would need to find out—and fast.

  EJ looked at the message again.

  She had seen Sydney pick up the paper as soon as she read the text message and then she had seen her write something down. Was that something to do with what ‘follow 44 to the letter’ meant? EJ wasn’t sure but she knew the only way to find out
was to get into that trailer and take a look at what Sydney had been reading. She checked the star-tracker. Sydney was still over at the set but EJ may not have enough time. She ran over to the trailer and pulled on the door handle but the door was locked. Calmly and quickly, checking that no one was watching, EJ took her key charm and twisted it to convert into a larger universal skeleton key. EJ put the key into the lock and turned it smoothly. She then opened the door and stepped up into the trailer, closing it quickly behind her.

  This really is like a five-star hotel, thought EJ, feeling the soft plush carpet under her feet and, for some reason, she wondered what the toilet was like. But now was not the time to explore the trailer, she needed to look at the sheet of paper. The piece of paper that Sydney’s cat had just walked across on her way to settle on the pink cushion on the sofa. The paper was dirty—and for a moment, EJ’s thoughts flashed back to her diary—but in tact. EJ picked it up.

  SPY MOVIE 2

  SCENE 44

  Agent White is alone on the bridge of the large reservoir waving a bottle over the edge. A helicopter is hovering above her. Agent Black leans out of the chopper.

  BLACK

  It’s over, White! It’s all over!

  WHITE

  No, I still have the bottle.

  BLACK

  You are surrounded. Hand it over!

  WHITE

  Never. Stand back or I will throw it off the bridge. (Agent White throws the bottle. Agent Black swoops with the chopper in an attempt to catch the bottle but misses.) Mwah ha ha ha. You won’t catch me either! (She takes out a remote control and presses a button. Another helicopter sweeps into view and lands on the bridge. White jumps in and flies away.)