The waiter cleared his throat behind them. Terrible timing. She didn’t want to release Tanner. But he lifted his hands so the waiter could place his dinner in front of him. After sliding her plate onto the table, the waiter thankfully left. But their connection had been broken.
Tanner dug into his chicken for a few minutes, and she did the same. The voices of the other diners grew louder. Izzy had blocked them out while she and Tanner had been talking. It was like they were the only two people in the room. But while the restaurant hummed at a steady level, the silence at their table was deafening.
She resorted to small talk. “This is good.”
“Um-hum.” Tanner nodded and swallowed another bite.
Had she been wrong to ask if he’d heard from his ex-wife? Izzy presumed she was his ex-wife. Shoot, had they even gotten divorced? If he hadn’t heard from her, maybe they were still married. Damn, this was getting more complicated by the minute.
Tanner set his fork down. There was more distance between them now, sitting side-by-side, than there had been when he was across the table. She knew all about emotional distance from her father and again from her relationship with Erik. She refused to put herself in that position again. She took a chance and laid her hand on his arm.
His gaze snapped to where they touched, and then he raised his head. Distress swirled in his deep brown eyes. She held his gaze until he blanked his expression, shutting himself off from the emotions that tormented him.
“Three weeks later, I was served papers. I must have camped out in the lawyer’s office in Philly for days after that, but he refused to tell me where she was. The papers granted me sole custody of Hayley and stated that after ninety days, we could get a no-fault divorce. As long as both parties were in agreement. She’d already signed the papers.” The words he spoke were devoid of any emotion, as if he was recounting what happened to someone else instead of a watershed moment in his own life. He shrugged. “What was I supposed to do? I had a daughter to raise and was working a job I hated at social services in Philadelphia. As soon as the ninety days were up, I signed the papers. Shortly afterwards, I found out about Jason’s House. They were just starting the fundraising to establish the teen center and were looking for a director. The job and the timing were perfect. Hayley and I packed up and moved to Cedar Hill. It was the best decision I ever made.”
“I’m so sorry, Tanner.”
He squared his shoulders and his mouth quirked. “I’m not. That’s long over, and I got the better end of the deal. Hayley is wonderful.”
“That she is. She’s such a joy to have in my class.”
“We haven’t really had a chance to talk about the studio. How have the first couple of weeks of classes been?”
Well, she guessed they were done talking about Vanessa. That was fine with Izzy. She hadn’t planned to get so intense. But she’d learned a lot about Tanner while listening to him talk about his ex-wife and Hayley. She had a new appreciation for what he’d been through, for what he did as a single father every day.
What could she say about her first week of class? Managing the studio and teaching classes at the same time was more than even two people could handle. She’d thankfully identified a couple of parents who were willing to greet families in the lobby and answer questions in exchange for tuition credit. It gave Izzy a chance to focus on the dance… and the kids. All of her fears had melted away as soon as she welcomed the first class of smiling, eager dancers, looking to her to teach them. “It’s been crazy and overwhelming and crazy and fantastic and wonderful and have I mentioned, crazy.”
When Tanner laughed, the little lines beside his eyes smiled along with him. He was so handsome it practically took her breath away. But he didn’t act like those guys who knew they were good looking. Who were full of themselves. Tanner was humble and generous and kind. How in the hell had someone else not snatched him up since Vanessa left?
“Do you regret your decision to retire and open the studio?”
She shook her head. Most days, that question was easy to answer, except when the doubts and the what-ifs invaded her mind. “I wasn’t sure I had what it took to be a teacher, but I love working with the kids. I love their happy smiles when they come to class. It’s so easy for the everyday grind of being a professional dancer to shove out any joy for the art. I’d forgotten how much I loved to dance just for the sake of dancing. It’s a great way to exercise, and I was always able to work through my emotions on the dance floor. I want my students to look at dance the same way. I’m telling a story with my body and my movements, and sometimes that story is happy and sometimes it’s sad. It’s almost like therapy for me.”
Dance had always been her escape when things with her dad got really bad. The time away from him had made the time with him more bearable. But maybe the dance itself had enabled her to exorcise the demons that chased her out of the house when her father was at his worst.
Tanner studied her intently. “What?”
“What do you mean, what?”
“You just got this look on your face”
“I guess I hadn’t quite realized how much of an escape dance has always been for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love dancing, but I realized that it was also a way to get away from what was going on at home. To have something that was just mine and nobody else’s.”
He covered her hands with his. “I’d love to see you dance sometime.”
“I don’t dance as much as I’d like anymore, except with the kids in class, but you could probably come by sometime when I’m working out at the studio.”
His gaze locked on hers. “I’d like that. A lot.”
After another minute, he released her hands and motioned for the check. She lowered her hands to her lap and stared at them. This dinner had taken on a tone she hadn’t expected. What she thought would turn out to be a light-hearted, get-to-know-you meal had become so much more. She’d told Tanner things she hadn’t revealed to anyone else. And she suspected he’d done the same. She felt closer to him than she had to anyone in a long time. That thought scared and excited her.
Chapter Eleven
Tanner settled the check while Izzy stared out at the water. What had started as a first-date dinner had become so much more. Every minute he spent with Izzy, he felt a deeper connection. So much for going slow.
Tanner rose and shifted behind Izzy. He rested his hands on her chair. He was so close that he could reach out and stroke that beautiful, long neck. But he knew if he touched her, he couldn’t stop, and they were in public, after all.
He snuck a quick glance of her sexy legs when she stood. But she didn’t look at him. Had he said something wrong? Or was she nervous about what happened next? As much as he wanted to be with Izzy, to spend time outside of the prying eyes of other people, he wouldn’t do anything she wasn’t ready for. He wanted to explore the sparks that were flying between the two of them, but what did she want? After shutting himself off for so long, he was a bit out of practice of reading a woman’s actions and expressions. And Izzy was different than any woman he’d ever met. There were layers to Izzy Harper, and he was interested in peeling them back.
With his hand on her elbow, Tanner escorted her to the door. He threw his keys to the attendant, anxious for a moment alone with Izzy. As the valet retrieved the car, he stepped behind her, unable to wait another moment to feel her against him. Sure, he could say that she looked cold, but that would just be an excuse. He snaked his arms around her waist and settled her against him, the sweet smell of her perfume surrounding them. Her fingers intertwined with his and she relaxed into him. Her ass was perfectly aligned with his groin. If they were alone, he could have her skirt up and be inside her in seconds. But that wasn’t what this was about.
The sounds of the streets faded away, and the lights seemed to dim. For a minute, it was just the two of them, in this cocoon of warmth and sweetness.
He leaned in close and tucked his lips just behind her ear. “Chilly?”
“
Not anymore.”
The valet pulled up in Tanner’s SUV, and he nudged her toward the passenger door. He hated having to let her go, to break the bond they shared for those few minutes. Once she was settled in her seat, instead of shutting the door, he stepped closer. She raised her head as he lowered his. His lips brushed across hers, a warm, chaste kiss. What he wouldn’t give to explore her lips and find the spot behind her ear that made her squirm. But this was not the place… or the time.
He pulled back enough to look her in the eye. “Later.”
Her eyes sparkled as he closed the door. During the short trip around the car, he sucked in a few deep breaths. It wouldn’t do to climb in with his cock pressing against his zipper. Damn, it had been too long since he’d been with someone, but now the only woman he wanted to be with was Izzy.
As soon as they were on the road, he threaded his fingers through hers, resting their joined hands on his thigh. Attraction arced between them, the air thick with it. All signs were pointing to them taking this relationship further tonight, and his body was completely on board with that. If only his head would quit raising concerns. How would Hayley be affected if Izzy became a part of their lives and then their relationship ended?
Izzy’s Mom’s house was dark when he turned into the drive. She hadn’t said much about her mother, but the few words she’d shared implied a complicated relationship. He’d give anything to have his mother still around to have a relationship with. And then there was his daughter. If only Hayley had a mother who cared enough to stick her nose in Hayley’s business. And a house full of siblings like Izzy had to annoy her… and love her.
Tanner parked the car on the gravel beside Izzy’s car and turned off the engine. She didn’t open her door and he sat there, unsure of how to proceed. If he had his choice, he’d drag her up those few stairs to her cottage and not stop until he laid her on her bed and made love to her. But was he ready for that? Because the minute they were together, there was no going back. Not ever.
“What’s wrong?” Izzy’s words were tentative, and she nibbled on that lower lip like she did every time she was unsure of herself.
He sighed. Now was the time for him to open up about his feelings. The tension was building by the minute. His first instinct was to gather her in his arms and kiss her, but that wasn’t what their relationship needed right now.
He climbed out, hurried around the front of the car, and opened her door.
“Thank you.”
He nodded, not responding for fear of saying the wrong thing. Or the right thing but at the wrong time. He couldn’t make sense of the jumbled thoughts racing through his mind. How he wanted to make love to her until they both collapsed and then wake up and do it all over again. But more importantly, an image of the three of them, him, Izzy, and Hayley, building a future together, flashed through his mind. And in another moment, he imagined what it would be like when Izzy left. Because everyone always left, right? His mother had died. Vanessa had walked out on him without a word. It was just a matter of time until Izzy did the same. And he couldn’t bear that. She had a hold of his heart, and he wouldn’t survive the loss.
Crickets chirped and a slight breeze rustled the leaves as he and Izzy crossed the yard and climbed the steps to her porch. She stepped up to the door, her keys in her hand, and turned back to him. “Is something wrong?”
Damn. She was nervous because he couldn’t reconcile his heart and his head. But standing here, seeing her hair frame her face under the soft glow of the porch light, his heart won out. He crushed his lips down on hers, his tongue pushing its way into her mouth. He pressed one hand to the door behind her and held her with the other as he tilted his head and went in for more.
He could stand here all night kissing Izzy Harper. And if that was what it took to reassure her, he’d do just that.
Her fingers dug into his shirt like she needed to hold on. What he wouldn’t give to feel her bare skin on his, her fingers holding on as he…
She brushed across his nipple and his erection twitched. The slightest of touches had every nerve ending on fire.
His slid across her cheek, taking in the sweet taste of her, until he reached her ear. Her head fell back on the door, giving him perfect access to the spot behind her ear. He slid his tongue over her skin.
She sucked in a breath.
Yep, he was right. Wild. That should have belayed any doubts she had. “Does that feel like something’s wrong?”
She shook her head, her eyes still closed. “No, not exactly.”
“Izzy, I want you so bad that I can’t stand it. I think about you all the time. It was all I could do not to grab you today at the shelter, to push you up against the wall and kiss you until you couldn’t remember your own name. I watched the second hand tick by for an hour waiting for the time to come pick you up. I changed my shirt three times before dinner because none of them looked right, and I never spend that much time getting ready.”
She ran her hands up his chest, a small smile creeping onto her lips.
He couldn’t think when she was touching him. He grabbed her by the wrists and brought her hands together in between them. “What I’m trying to say is that I like you. A lot. But I didn’t want to push things too far, too fast. I mean, I met you one day, and that night we were making out in the corner at FitzGerald’s. But that’s not enough. I want to get to know you, to spend time together.
She ground her hips against his, his thick erection pressing against her core. “What if I don’t want to go slow?”
He groaned and thumped his head on the door beside her. Again and then again. He pulled back until his gaze locked on hers and he studied the swirling desire in her eyes. “Where do you see this going?”
She bit her lip again. “I don’t know. But I do know that for the first time since I can remember, I want to find out. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this way and…”
“And what?”
“I like how I feel when I’m with you. I like the person that I see reflected back in your eyes.”
He stared at her. If he were smart, he could turn around, wish her goodnight, and climb back into his car. But he was anything but smart when it came to Izzy Harper. He brushed his lips across hers, a kiss more sweet than intense.
Izzy reached for the door handle when his khakis vibrated.
He pulled back, leaving one hand on her waist, while he snatched his phone from his pocket. “Sorry about this. It could be Mary.”
Sure enough, a text from his nanny flashed across the screen. Hayley has a fever. She’s asking for you.
His shoulders sagged. “I’m sorry. Mary says Hayley has a fever.”
“You don’t have to apologize. Hayley comes first. I’m sorry she doesn’t feel well. You need to go.”
He dashed off a quick response. I’m on my way. He tucked his phone back in his pocket and then wrapped his arms around Izzy and nestled her against him. She slid her hands beneath his jacket and around his waist until they couldn’t get any closer. They fit together perfectly and her hug was comforting. He brushed his lips across her cheek, all that he could trust himself to do right now. “I wasn’t quite ready to say good night. When can I see you again?”
“I don’t know. I have classes every night and you’re at the center during the day.”
“How about you come by?”
Her eyes brightened. “The center?”
“Sure. It’s quiet during the day now that the kids have gone back to school.” Except for recently, when every spare minute was spent cleaning up the mess left behind by the vandals. “I’d love to show you the center, introduce you to the people I work with. Say you’ll come.”
She nodded.
His lips brushed against hers one last time. “I have to go.”
“I’ll come by on Tuesday if you’re free?”
He smiled. “Perfect. I’ll see you Tuesday.”
He hurried down the steps before he tried to drag Izzy along with him. The short walk to the c
ar did nothing to ease the ache deep in his gut. When he reached the car, he turned back. She hadn’t moved from where he’d left her, the light casting a gentle glow on her hair. His angel.
He raised his hand to her and then climbed in the car.
Chapter Twelve
“Where in the hell did I put my keys? Why can’t I ever find them?” Tanner slammed the desk drawer. The rest of his life was organized and orderly, so why couldn’t he manage the same at the office?
A knock sounded, and he snapped his head up in time to see Monica lift his keys off the hook hanging right beside the door. “How about right here?”
He rushed across the room and snatched them out of her hand. “Thanks. I don’t know why I can’t seem to keep track of them.”
“That’s why I hung the hook here. Now you just need to remember that’s where you put them.” She patted him on the shoulder. “But I have confidence in you. One of these days.”
“Very funny.”
Tanner hurried to the front door. Ever since the vandals had destroyed their rec room, he and Monica had been keeping the door locked when kids weren’t in the center. He didn’t want someone to come in while either of them was here alone. Not that a lock had stopped the vandals that night—they’d just broken a window. But the window had been replaced and the couches had been repaired.
Izzy was coming by to visit the center, and he was nervous. He’d presented budgets to the mayor and town council numerous times. He’d prepared and defended grant applications and conducted tours for any number of dignitaries without missing a beat. But Izzy coming by in—he checked his watch—twenty minutes was making him nuts.
He had barely taken a step when the bell above the door clanged. He spun around.
“Hi.” Izzy’s smile lit her entire self, and the green hues of her hazel eyes sparkled. She gave him a little wave with her fingers.
His body immediately sat up and took notice of the T-shirt that hugged her breasts and the tight leggings that outlined every sculpted muscle of her legs. He tugged at his jeans to release the pressure on his growing erection. This was becoming a perpetual problem around her.
Chasing Dreams: A Small Town Single Dad Romance (Harper Family Series Book 1) Page 10
