by A. M. Kusi
“Do you want to walk back to the inn together? Since we’re both headed that way,” Ella clarified.
“Sure.” His voice barely hid his excitement.
They walked along the road towards the inn as the sun began setting in a brilliant display of pinks and reds. Neither of them spoke at first, Ella enjoying the comfortable silence. The sound of distant tree frogs making peeping noises filled the air, and a few bats chirped signaling the start of their hunt for dinner.
Finally, River spoke up. “Ms. Shaw—”
“Ella.” It was her turn to correct him.
“Ella, I would like to start over, if that’s okay with you.”
“Sounds good.”
“Friends?” he asked.
Ella wasn’t sure what a week-long friendship would look like, especially with the amount of physical attraction between them. She didn’t bother explaining that she wasn’t looking to add to the extremely small number of people she counted as friends, but agreed—if only to ease the tension between herself and her guest. “Friends.”
“So, as a friend, I would have to let you know that I think your ink is pretty cool. Are they whole sleeves?”
Ella glanced down to her arms where the black and white ink covered her skin up to her three-quarter length sleeves. She felt the scars that the ink was hiding burn her flesh, and she worried he could see them. Ella instinctively crossed her arms over her chest in protection. “No. Just my forearms.”
“The artist did a great job. That style looks similar to the work in the inn.”
Ella nodded, and felt a blush cover her cheeks. She was self-conscious and didn’t want to seem like she was bragging by admitting that she was, in fact, the artist.
“Do you have any ink?” she asked, trying to turn the attention back to him.
“Not yet,” he said.
After another moment of silence, River asked, “So, what’s your long-term plan with the inn?”
“Well, I would love to have it be one of the most well-known inns in New England for starters. I want to buy the land next to us and extend the property. Sometimes the wedding parties are so big, we can’t accommodate all the guests. I would like to keep the business steady year-round too.”
“Oh yeah? It’s not that busy this time of year?” he asked.
Ella remembered her excuse of being too busy with the inn to be his tour guide. “The inn isn’t full most nights, but as the owner, I am always busy with one thing or another.” It was the truth.
The stone walls of the inn came into view, and from this vantage they could see the large patio, with an expansive wooden pergola covered with strands of solar-powered lights on strings stretching across the length of the entire backyard. It was a beautiful sight at any time, but being in complete darkness made it even more magical.
They walked the rest of the way to the lobby in silence, Ella feeling an irresistible pull towards River when it was time to part ways.
“I, uh…I guess I’ll see you around.” River said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Yes. Breakfast starts at seven,” Ella answered, feeling a heat radiate through her body.
“Ella?”
His eyes met hers, and she felt like everything else around them dissolved. “Yes, River?” Ella held her breath, trying to calm the butterflies. She wasn’t sure how she could have so many different and conflicting emotions concerning her newest guest. River had her putting her guard up one minute, laughing another, and feeling like she might spontaneously combust from sexual tension the next.
After a long pause, he said, “Good night.”
“Night.”
The next day, Ella woke up at four-thirty as usual, and went through her morning routine. She looked at the face staring back at her in the mirror. She had changed a lot over the last seven years. She had gained weight, and the light was back in her brown eyes. She also had the beginning of a tan from the unseasonably hot weather this early in June.
Ella looked directly into her eyes and said aloud, “I am beautiful. I am strong. I can do this.” Her daily affirmations.
After yoga and meditation, Ella dressed in a plum-colored sundress that reached her knee. She made her way out of the room and down the dimly lit hallway. She passed the closed doors to Mac’s old office and bedroom before taking the stairs to the kitchen.
Ella entered the bright space, appreciating the white granite countertop of the large island in the center of the room. She bypassed the fruit bowl that sat in the middle of the otherwise spotless workspace, surrounded by dark backless barstools, and headed straight for the cupboard. Ella pulled out a peppermint teabag, then grabbed a jar of creamy coconut milk from the stainless steel refrigerator. Ella made herself a peppermint tea latte before she got to work with her daily activities of running the inn.
She was tired. It had been hard for her to fall asleep after everything that had happened the previous evening. She had spent most of the night replaying her conversation with River again and again in her head, overthinking every word, and every bodily reaction to her handsome guest.
When Maggie entered the kitchen at six to start breakfast for the guests, Ella went with her. Part of her wasn’t ready to face River, so she kept herself busy preparing coffee and tea for the few guests. The room soon filled with the aroma of bacon, sausage, and eggs all mixed together to form a delicious scent.
“All set?” Ella asked.
“Just about,” Maggie answered with a smile, flipping a row of pancakes. “You can bring those out,” her friend said, pointing to the stainless steel containers on the marble countertop.
“Will do, boss.” Ella joked as she mocked a salute.
The breakfast nook was well lit and already starting to fill with a few guests drinking coffee in booths with cushioned mulberry-colored seats surrounding dark espresso tables. The inn had the same large beams as Ella’s room across the vaulted ceilings that had been reclaimed from local barns. Some walls had white paneling and others were neutral stone. The curtains were light, brightening the space. Pillows and cushions added a splash of cranberry–red throughout the rustic establishment.
After depositing the containers in the breakfast nook, Ella returned to find Maggie flipping several fluffy golden pancakes on the griddle over the stove as bacon sizzled and popped in the oven.
“Why so quiet today?” Maggie asked without looking up.
“I’m just a little tired.”
“Having trouble sleeping again?” her friend asked, sounding concerned. She knew more than anyone else about what had happened to Ella in the past, and how her depression affected her.
“No. I had dinner at the pub. You will never guess who was there,” Ella said, knowing her friend would want to know every detail. She needed to talk about things out loud with someone to process them, and she felt the safest with her therapist or Maggie.
“No!” Maggie looked up; eyes wide in disbelief. “Did you talk to him?”
“Yes. He…I think he was trying to ask me out.”
“Oh my god! What did you say?”
“He is a guest. Not to mention the fact that I don’t do relationships. He seemed…I don’t know.”
“What?” Maggie asked, flipping the pancakes onto a platter and covering them before turning to meet Ella’s eyes.
“He seemed jealous when Lucas came over to talk to me. I know that sounds crazy.”
“No. Not crazy. He probably likes you. Maybe he thinks Lucas is competition. You know how guys can be; it’s all that testosterone.”
Ella took a deep breath, “I don’t need someone in my life who gets jealous like that. He doesn’t own me.”
“You’re absolutely right. I think you should always trust your gut, Ella.” Maggie placed her hands over Ella’s shoulders. “But not every man is like your ex. Did River pressure you? Did he act forceful in an
y way? Did your gut tell you to run far in the other direction?” Maggie asked, earnestly.
“No. My gut feels unsure, but maybe it is just because I am scared. My body feels he’s dangerous in a different way when I am around him. Does that make any sense?” Ella asked.
“Yes. Ella, it has been a long time since you have opened yourself up to any man that way. It isn’t for lack of local guys trying, that’s for sure.” They both laughed. “Even if it isn’t River that you choose to be the first man deserving of a chance, maybe your body is trying to tell you that you might be ready. You have every reason to be careful, but just make sure that you are not keeping the good out with the bad. Figure out if your apprehension is truly because of this guy, or if you’re letting your anxiety control your choices.”
Ella nodded, processing her best friend’s words.
“I mean, even though I thoroughly love my wife, I can appreciate a piece of male eye candy when I see one. It wouldn’t be the most terrible thing in the world if it was River.” Maggie winked. “You could do worse.”
Ella rolled her eyes and laughed with her friend, just as the timer for the bacon went off. “I’ll take these out,” she said, taking the platter of pancakes and container of maple syrup to the breakfast nook.
Entering the room, she saw a middle-aged couple sitting by one of the large windows, enjoying the view and sipping their coffees. Ella watched the way the husband rested his palm at the base of his partner’s lower back. Ella thought it was sweet and wondered if she would ever be comfortable enough to let someone into her life romantically. They would have to see the scars, and she wasn’t ready for that.
Ella turned back to her work, setting the pancakes on a table. She hadn’t seen River yet, but she could feel him.
“Smells delicious.”
His deep voice sent a shockwave of uncensored desire to the most hidden and intimate parts of her. Suddenly, she was hyperaware of her body. She turned to see him in athletic shorts and a muscle shirt. Sweat glistened down his arms, showing off each and every rippled muscle.
River licked his lips, which brought a new wave of hidden salacious thoughts to Ella’s mind. “Maggie makes the best food,” Ella responded a few seconds too late.
River smiled and she tried to ignore his perfect white teeth. He had a look of hunger in his eyes, and she was sure it wasn’t for pancakes.
“Save me some.” River gave Ella a wink and then jogged up the stairs toward his suite.
Ella watched him until he disappeared. She had never been an ass woman, but River’s physique had quickly changed her mind. Maggie had been right; the view from behind was just as nice as it was from the front.
Once he was out of sight, Ella felt like she could breathe normally again. His scent still permeated the lobby and she wondered how a sweaty man could smell so good.
Ella quickly walked to the kitchen to help Maggie with the rest of breakfast, needing to keep herself busy rather than focusing on her guest’s scent.
River came back down for breakfast dressed in an expensive-looking grey suit. He had a white-collared shirt on underneath the jacket, but the top few buttons were left open and his tie hung undone over his shoulders. He looked sexily disheveled. Ella hadn’t seen him dress in anything but casual wear, and even she had to admit to herself that River Parker looked good in anything. Probably in nothing too. Ella let her mind wander, catching side glances at him as he ate his breakfast alone and drank his coffee. She busied herself at the front desk, checking out one couple, and organizing the printouts for three guest arrivals later in the day. She still needed to figure out the website as soon as possible, and so she decided to get started on the daunting task.
River finished his breakfast and walked past Ella on the way to the front door. She forced herself to not look up, and he didn’t say anything as he made his way out towards the parking lot. Why did she feel disappointed at the fact that he didn’t acknowledge her? She had been the one to avoid him that morning after all. She had basically told him to leave her alone, and that was what he was doing. Somehow, that only made her like him more. Something about the realization made Ella feel like she had made a mistake.
The afternoon passed, and she had all the guests checked in for the day—unless any walk-ins showed up. The maids, Emily, an undergraduate student at the University of Vermont, and Amber, a local recent high school graduate, had cleaned the common areas and guest rooms early, as the inn was nowhere close to being full.
Ella had spent the whole day reading, watching website tutorial videos, and listening to podcasts about the ins and outs of online marketing. She only managed to take a few short bathroom breaks, and have a meeting over the phone with a wedding planner for an event later that month. Maggie had brought her a peppermint tea latte and a sandwich before she left for the day. It was Thursday, and Maggie had invited Ella to join her and her wife, Julia, for dinner. Ella had promised she would if she could finish updating the website. A drink around the corner at the pub would be fine if she kept her phone on for guests.
Ella watched the loading page as she updated an old plug-in for the website, when suddenly the web page stopped loading and turned white. She immediately panicked and quickly did a search for her website, only to see that the whole site was down.
“Ughhhh!” She threw up her hands before massaging her temples in frustration.
“Can I help?”
Ella hadn’t realized someone else was in the room with her. She nearly jumped out of her seat.
“Woah. Sorry. I’ll start wearing a bell if it helps,” River joked.
Ella felt her cheeks flush red. Her hyper-reflexive responses had gotten better, but her body was always on alert from years of abuse and stress.
She noticed he still had his suit on, except now the jacket was slung over one of his arms while his tie hung loosely around his neck. The top three buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned as they had been in the morning, showing off his strong neck down to his collarbone. Ella imagined what it would be like to kiss him there. She quickly averted her eyes to his arms. His sleeves had been rolled up to his elbows. His veins pulsed around his sinewy forearms down to his big hands. She wondered if they would feel rough against her soft naked flesh.
River seemed to notice the long pause and said, “I’m sorry. I came in looking for coffee and saw you get upset.”
Ella realized she had been staring off into space while fantasizing about him. “I should be in my office anyways. I just like the light in here better, and it’s closer to the kitchen…We don’t serve coffee except in the mornings,” She explained.
“Oh, okay.” River turned to leave.
“I was just about to make some for myself though. I’ll make you one too,” she said before her brain could counter the offer.
“Only if it isn’t any trouble.” River stopped, turning back to face her.
“It’s fine. I need a break; it would be a good distraction.” So I don’t cry from all the hard work that I put in. Damn website. Now I will lose business until I can figure this mess out.
“Is it the inn’s website?” he asked, as if reading her thoughts.
“Yes. I don’t know what happened. I was installing an update for a plug-in and the website went down. I’ll have to call a website help desk.” Perfect way to spend my Thursday night, that’s if they’re even available.
“Do you have the website files backed up with an online storage company?” River asked.
“Yeah. I have Dropbox.”
“I would be happy to take a look. Web design is kind of my specialty. In exchange for the coffee of course,” He suggested warmly.
Ella hesitated, thinking over his offer. She didn’t want him to be so close to her, because she was afraid she might implode. Another part of her, however, very much wanted his closeness. She quickly reminded that part of herself that he was a guest, and she was
closed for business in the romance department.
She was completely drained from dealing with the site and her brain felt like mush. So much so, she wasn’t sure she knew her own name anymore. If her site was down, she couldn’t get reservations, and that was a substantial problem. “Okay.” she gave in. “What is your favorite kind of coffee?”
“Latte. But regular coffee is fine,” he answered, seeming excited.
“Are you allergic to nuts?”
River looked unsure. “Ahhh, nope.”
Ella pulled up the files he would need before getting to her feet. “You’re in for a treat.”
Chapter 4
In the kitchen, Ella quickly prepared two lattes with the professional-grade espresso machine and added some maple syrup to hers. She didn’t drink coffee often, but today was an exception. Her brain needed the jolt of caffeine.
River looked up when she came in, gladly accepting the coffee. He took a sip and licked his lips. Ella felt weak in her knees but blamed it on her lack of food that day. She sat next to him so she could watch what he was doing. She couldn’t help but notice that he still smelled as delicious—like cedar, and woods, and man.
“Thank you. This is seriously the best latte I have ever had. What’s all in it?” he asked, licking the foam from his upper lip.
“Oh, you want to know my secret ingredient, huh?” Ella joked.
River laughed, and she felt it through every fiber of her being. She realized she liked making him smile.
“It’s good, whatever is in it.” He licked the foam from his lips and pointed to the computer screen. “I fixed it. At least it is back online to your most recent backup.”
