by A. M. Kusi
River ran back into his apartment, right past Harper in the doorway with her arms crossed. “What did she say?”
“She loves me,” River said, pulling out one of the worn journals, scanning the unfamiliar writing.
“And you let her go?” Harper pressed in disbelief.
“I need time. She just told me she’s giving me the inn; the one thing that means everything to her; the one piece of Mac that she had left. She gave me everything in the world that meant something to her. When I asked her why, she told me she loved me,” River said, out of breath.
Harper looked incredulously at him. “Are you kidding me? That doesn’t explain why you let her leave. Why are you two not making up?”
“I need time to process this, Harper! This is a lot of information about my biological father. Imagine knowing everything you thought about Dad wasn’t true. Imagine how I feel—like the rug has been pulled out from under me and I don’t know which way is up or down. I need to understand this missing piece of myself before I can proceed in my future. I really screwed things up with the woman I love, and I need to figure out how to prove to her I’m worth a second chance.”
Harper threw her hands in the air. “Ugh. Men! You have it right in front of you, and you are too afraid to take it. They say women are the ones to make irrational and emotional decisions.” Harper grunted in frustration. “Don’t think that after everything, you can just show up and she will take you back. You might have missed your chance,” she said before leaving River alone to read.
River called Dorothy, and let her know he wouldn’t be in the office until the following week.
He dove in and read every word his father had written, searching for something he couldn’t explain. River read about Mac saving and buying the inn, his pride and joy. He read about his mother through Mac’s eyes, seeing Mac really did care for Sandra. He read about when Mac had first met Ella, the daughter of one of his ex-girlfriends, Tina. He’d had a soft spot for her, seeing her in a bad situation, and wishing he could do more.
River noticed the entries picked up after Ella arrived at the inn all those years later. Seeing Ella through Mac’s eyes, and how much the old man had loved her, made River feel differently about how he had handled the situation with Ella. knowing what Mac did to protect her brought him a swell of pride and respect for his father. River felt hot with anger reading Mac’s entries about the bruises around her neck, and her broken arm. Mac suspected Declan had inflicted far worse than what was visible.
River managed to get through all but the last three journals by Monday. After work, during the rest of the week, he read through the last seven years of Mac’s life. He had planned to pass the inn on to her for years before his diagnosis.
By the following Friday, River had read the last entries in the most recent journal. Mac’s words were of concern for Ella’s welfare after his cancer diagnosis. He worried about the support she would have, but not about her ability to run the inn. His own name caught his eye, dated in November, after he had received the first letter from River’s mother.
I found out I have a son today. I wish I had known him. Maybe my life would have been different. Sandra wants me to meet him, but I am such a shell of my former self. I’d rather he know me through my journals, and my inn—from what I leave behind. I’d rather Ella tell him who I was than for him to see me as weak and feeble as I am now.
My sweet Ella has taken better care of me than I ever would have received in the best of hospitals. Having her clean up after me, change me, and bathe me has been one of the hardest things I have had to deal with as a man. Ella takes what could be a humiliating experience and does it as she does everything—to the best of her ability. She is always striving to be independent, to her own detriment sometimes. Ella constantly has a smile and the utmost respect for me. She is the best daughter I could have ever asked for in this life. I may not have known my son, but at least I knew my daughter.
River read the words, recognizing the care that Ella had taken with Mac. The strength it must have taken her to watch the man that meant the most to her slowly fade away.
Just as Ella had said, there was a letter addressed to him in the last entry. He pulled it out and read it.
My son,
I wish I’d had the chance to know you. I cannot go back in time, but I hope that you do not begrudge your mother her silence. I know she did what she thought was the best for you in the age we grew up in. She and I had our fair share of frightening experiences, and I know she wanted to protect you.
River is such a fitting name: the body of water that connects two lands. You are a piece of her and her world, and a piece of mine. You are what brings us together—black and white melded together to create such a unique life. I know you are good because your mother is. Despite her faults, I trust she raised you to the best of her abilities.
I hope you understand why I left my inn to Ella. She has become my daughter, and I love her. More than that though, she needs this inn. She tries her hardest to be independent, and the opposite of everything she has known. She came from a bad place and has turned that into her motivation to do and be better. She has taken charge of the inn over the past few years, even though she may not recognize it. She transformed The Orchard Inn and myself into what we are today. I know you are taken care of, son, but Ella has had no one but me, my inn, and a few good people here in town. This is her safe place and her home. I hope you can understand and respect that.
I love you, son. You are a part of me.
One thing about life I have learned is to not hold back, and live life to its fullest. If you find love, do what you can to hold onto it. Chase happiness rather than wealth. Life is too short to worry about things that don’t matter. It’s about the experiences you share with those you love.
One favor I must ask of you: check on Ella once in a while. She needs someone looking out for her. Take care of her for me.
Take care of the one thing I did right in this life.
Your loving father,
Lloyd Shaw
River stared at the paper, digesting his father’s words. Mac had asked him to take care of Ella and he’d already managed to fail.
River thought about what had happened between Ella and him when she’d left him the journals. He remembered her words and felt the weight on his chest building. She’d given him her safe place, her home, herself, and what had he done but stand there gawking at her like a silent idiot? She’d told him she loved him, and he’d let her drive off. She’d told him she was fighting for her life. He was infuriated that he hadn’t asked what she’d meant or demanded she stay with him. River’s hands clenched into fists as he realized he had abandoned her and broken his promise.
River saw the truth in his sister’s words. As he stood to put the journal in the box, another envelope in the bottom caught his attention. He picked it up and opened it.
River recognized the art immediately, and his eyes glistened with unshed tears. He found it hard to breathe, seeing the two faces on the page looking back at him with matching smiles and similar faces. You could tell they were related. Ella had drawn him and Mac together and it was as realistically as if it was a photograph. Mac’s arm was around River. Both of them were smiling as if laughing. Ella had given him something he would never have, the one thing he’d been looking for without knowing it: a piece of his father and a piece of himself.
River ran upstairs and grabbed his bag, throwing the clothes and toiletries he would need for the trip inside. He snatched up his keys and ran to his car, ready to drive off to tell the woman he loved how stupid he had been and to beg her forgiveness. There was so much he needed to say, and none of it would fit in a text or a phone call. He needed to see her face to face.
Chapter 26
Ella made it back to the inn through four agonizing hours of traffic. She spent the rest of the next week explaining to Maggie what she had
decided, and why she’d kept the decision from her—she had been afraid Maggie would stop her and try to talk her out of it. As predicted, Maggie thought they could find another solution. She didn’t want Ella to leave.
As the weekend went by, and they held another wedding at the inn, Ella found it hard seeing two people so happy together and committing to spend their lives with one another. She wondered if she would ever find that for herself. She could recognize now that she had closed herself off from love in an attempt to keep herself safe. In the end, she had been the one to hurt herself again with how she handled everything with River. Annie’s words rang true. Ella could see how happy she had been and how she had created the very shoe that she expected to drop.
Ella decided that she would do whatever it took to keep her friends safe and fight for herself to have a life of as much happiness as possible. She would use the money in her savings account to leave the States. Jamaica was first on her list; she would stop and see Mac’s mother, Mama Shaw. Declan wouldn’t find her if she left the country.
As the end of the following week came, the beginning of September arrived with it. Ella hadn’t heard from River and assumed he didn’t want anything more to do with her. Maggie would take over the inn until River directed her otherwise. She had packed up the things that she would take with her in a single bag, leaving with much of the same that she had arrived with. River could take the rest and rent out the room if he wanted.
It was eight o’clock in the evening when Ella walked into the kitchen where a tearful Maggie waited. The sky was dark, and the rain had started to fall, lightly at first, and then harder as the thunder rolled closer. It pelted the roof, and Ella could sense the storm’s energy growing.
“I know you’ll be back. This will all blow over and everything will work out. You’ll see. This is goodbye for now, not forever. Like an extended vacation,” Maggie said, reaching out to hug her.
Ella dropped her bag and pulled Maggie close. She held back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. No matter how much she cried, it seemed there were always more tears wanting to escape. Ella nodded.
The bell rang as the door to the inn opened.
Maggie swiped at her tears and walked slowly out to see who it was. Ella picked up her bag to head into the lobby when the familiar deep voice caught her attention. Ella’s head snapped in the direction of the front desk, and she saw him. His hand was wrapped around Maggie’s neck from behind, while his other held the steel nine-millimeter to her temple. Maggie’s eyes were wide in fear.
“Declan, please don’t hurt her,” Ella pleaded as she carefully set her bag on the ground and put her hands in the air in surrender. Her heartbeat vibrated through her chest as her stomach hardened.
“Ella, baby. Why do you make me do this? Why didn’t you just come with me when I asked? Why did you have to keep taunting and teasing me? You made me do this. You made me fall off the wagon when I saw the betrayal. You whored yourself out here.”
Ella took a few tentative steps towards Declan, seeing his eyes were dilated. He was tweaking on something, which would only make him more erratic and unstable. “Dec, I’m sorry. I’ll go with you now.”
“Why did you do this to me, Ella?” Declan demanded, pushing the barrel of the gun harder into Maggie’s skull.
Maggie winced, but harshly whispered, “Run, Ella!”
Declan pressed the barrel harder into Maggie’s skull as he yelled, “Shut up! You stupid bitch!”
Ella didn’t move. Seeing Declan’s anger rise, she knew she had to intervene. “No, Maggie. Declan’s right. I did this.”
Declan laughed, and Maggie’s tears dripped over his arm.
“Declan, take me. Let’s get out of here. Just you and me. I’ll go with you. You can leave her alone,” Ella said gently, trying to convince him.
“I can’t trust you. You liar!” Declan shouted.
Ella and Maggie both flinched. Ella said, “Then put the gun on me. I’m the one you’re angry at. I’m the one who left. Put the gun on me.”
Declan slowly pointed the gun Ella’s way. Ella walked towards the door of the inn. “Let’s go. Let her go, and I’ll leave with you.”
Declan released Maggie and said, “I can’t just let her go; she’ll tell everyone where to find you.” Declan raised the gun and both Maggie and Ella screamed.
Ella tried to grab it but she was too late. Declan brought the butt of the gun down hard on Maggie’s head, knocking her out. Maggie fell onto the floor, limp. Ella screamed as she dove towards her friend, seeing the blood trickle down her porcelain face.
Ella’s skull seared with burning pain as Declan yanked her hair back, thrusting the barrel of the gun into her spine. “Shut your fucking mouth and get to the car!”
Ella wasn’t sure if Maggie was alive or not, but she was afraid Declan would shoot to kill if they stayed in the inn any longer.
She obeyed and got into the truck on the driver’s side as he instructed, the gun trained on her the whole time. Her clothes were soaked and she shivered as he forced her to buckle in.
“Drive, and don’t get any ideas. I will put this bullet through your brain if you even think about trying to run,” he threatened as his lips curled into a sick, twisted smile. “But I’d much rather take you home and fill that lying mouth with myself. You’re such a waste of breath.” He placed his free hand on her thigh and squeezed hard.
Ella started the truck and pulled out of the driveway. She drove down off the mountain in the pouring rain, listening to Declan rant about how worthless she was and how she’d brought this upon herself. Ella knew there was no point arguing with him, but she was not going down without a fight. She passed a black Tesla, and her heart thudded in her chest. River.
“And after I’m done with you,” Declan threatened, “I’ll go find that pretty boy who thought he could take what was mine and end him too.”
Declan’s words sent a chill through her whole body. Her heart beat fast and her veins rushed with adrenaline.
The next few moments passed in slow motion. Ella was vaguely aware that the gun was moving as Declan screamed at her. She couldn’t let him hurt River. She needed to stop him before he hurt anyone else, no matter the cost. She turned a corner on the road and seized her opportunity. She sped up, pressing the gas pedal to the floor.
Ella took a breath and aimed the car towards a thick tree off the road as she screamed, “Fuck you, Declan!”
Declan turned to her and yelled, reaching for the steering wheel—but it was too late. Ella pressed her back against the seat and braced herself for impact. Each moment cut into smaller flashes of time.
She was vaguely aware of the burn across her chest as she was jerked forward. The truck broke through the guardrail before hitting the tree with a loud bang! The gun was fired in the same moment and Ella felt a searing pain in her abdomen as her flesh was ripped open. The airbag was deployed. The force hit Ella’s chest and she was pelted with flying objects from inside the car. She heard ringing in her ears and her world turned upside down. The truck careened down the embankment. The sound of shattering glass and the crunch of twisted metal pierced through the thunder.
Ella’s world went black.
Chapter 27
River raced into the inn, bursting to see Ella and tell her how sorry he was and how much he loved her. He rushed through the doors and nearly tripped over Maggie’s body on the floor. He saw blood caking her blond hair and panicked.
“Maggie? Maggie!” River reached for his phone and dialed nine-one-one, telling the operator where he was and to send help.
Maggie stirred, gripping River’s shirt with a bloody hand. “Declan has Ella!”
River dropped the phone. Her words sucked the air from his lungs. The nightmare Ella had been dealing with while he had shut her out dawned on him. River felt a chill run through his body as he remembered passing a speed
ing blue truck —just like Declan’s. He looked down to meet Maggie’s fear-stricken eyes as she said, “Go get her!”
River jumped up and ran back to his car, getting soaked by the rain. He whipped the car into reverse and sped down the mountain towards where he had seen the truck. He passed the flashing lights of EMTs on their way to the inn and slowed down to round a corner. He saw a broken guardrail and spotted fractured metal pieces off the side of the road by a tree with damaged bark. His heart leapt to his throat as he pulled over, enough to see the twisted blue frame of a truck down the embankment.
River had barely put his car in park before he rushed down the gravel towards the truck. Rain pounded down from the sky as lightning illuminated up the morbid scene below him. Looking into the shattered window of the car door, he saw Ella hanging upside down with her eyes closed, covered in blood. She looked lifeless, and he held his breath with dread. He reached in seeing Declan’s limp body on the roof of the now upside-down car that was perched at an odd angle. River touched Ella’s face, hearing sirens in the distance. He needed to get her out of the car.
“Ella? Ella, can you hear me?” River begged, feeling the tears sting his eyes.
Ella stirred, groaning.
“Ella?”
Ella’s eyes fluttered open. She panicked and unbuckled the seatbelt, falling in a sickening thump to the roof of the car which was now below her. She groaned in pain. She crawled out of the window, through the broken glass on her hands, and knees. River grabbed a hold of her trying to help drag her up, out of the car. Ella swung her fist at him, trying to break free.
“Ella! Ella, it’s me, River. You’re safe.” River assured her, nearly missing her strike.
Ella opened her eyes, seeming to see him for the first time. She visibly relaxed. He saw the red abrasions all over her body and knew she was going to be in a lot of pain when the adrenaline wore off. She grabbed under her left breast, and grimaced. She pulled her palm away to inspect it just as a flash of lightning illuminated the sky. River saw thick, dark blood wash down her arm with the drops of rain water.
