by Reece Evhans
"Sorry," I muttered. "I'm having a hard time concentrating right now."
"I know. It's ok. We'll figure this out, I promise." He gently squeezed my hand as he took the tape measure.
I was also distracted by my hopefully subtle attempts to spy on Mr. Chiszowski. By about halfway through the period I had decided that my first instincts had been correct: there was no way that the guy who was hurting Veronica was Mr. Chiszowski. He was too old and his arms looked nothing like the arms I had seen in the vision. Those had been young, muscular, and darker than those of my physics teacher. That left Nicholas Grayson as my only suspect. I was feeling hopeless and ridiculous about this whole investigation idea.
I looked back at Veronica huddled miserably on her stool and gripped Jack's hand tight as I suddenly felt myself being pulled into another vision.
"Ally?" I heard him say, although it sounded like it was coming from a distance instead of right next to me. Hearing his voice made me remember that I wanted to fight, to block these visions.
Veronica was walking down a hallway that somehow seemed familiar to me...
I fought to hold my concentration in the present, here in this classroom, not walking down that hallway with Veronica.
She approached a door, looking back over her shoulder...
With a slam of my palm on the lab table, I wrenched myself fully out of the vision and just sat, breathing hard, Jack still gripping my other hand and staring at me with questions in his eyes.
"Is everything alright over here, Mr. Ruiz?" It was Mr. Chiszowski coming to check on us, drawn by the noise, no doubt.
I slipped my hand out of Jack's and shook my head slightly at him.
"Um, fine, sir. Just dropped something. Sorry," he said.
Mr. Chiszowski wandered away and the rest of the class turned back to their own labs.
"What was that about?" Jack whispered.
I looked around to make sure no one was paying us an attention, leaned close to him, and whispered back, "I just blocked a vision."
****
I soon found out why Veronica was looking so wretched. When we got to the cafeteria, she was sitting by herself at a table in the corner, while all her supposed BFFs, including her boyfriend Danny, were at their regular table, heads together, whispering. Have I mentioned how much high school sucks?
Tara sat down, tray in hand, saying, "Well, it's all over school that Veronica cheated on Danny and has someone else's bun in her oven."
"How did everyone find out? How did he find out?" I asked.
"Apparently Veronica refused to talk about it with her parents, so her dad went to Danny's house and confronted him. Well, Danny was shocked because apparently they've never done the deed. I heard that her dad punched him and his parents are thinking about pressing charges. And Veronica still refuses to say who the father is. This sounds like a friggin' soap opera!"
"Oh my God. This is such a mess. Why won't she admit who got her pregnant?" I was shaking my head at how far the situation had deteriorated.
"You know," Jack spoke up, "it really seems like Veronica is terrified to say who the father is. That tells me that she has something to fear from him, whoever he is, like he has some hold over her. He may be more than just a violent asshole who beats women and rapes them. What if he's still threatening her in some way?"
"I need to talk to her," I got up to go over to her table, but Jack held me back.
"Ally, this is getting beyond you. You could be in danger."
"Well," I said, determined. "That's too bad. Don't worry, nothing is going to happen to me at school." I leaned down to kiss him quickly. "I'll be careful." I was having very mixed feelings about having successfully blocked the vision during physics. What if it had been something important that would have helped figure things out? Was my comfort more important than Veronica's life? I didn't like the guilt I was feeling and figured I better do something, anything to help her. She was leaving the cafeteria, throwing what looked like her untouched lunch in the garbage as I caught up with her. "Veronica, wait." She just ignored me and walked out of the cafeteria. She's quick on her feet, I have to give her that. I finally tracked her down in the girl's bathroom in a side hall. She was leaning against the sink, sniffling, when I came in.
"Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you."
"You have to talk to somebody, Veronica. You look like shit. I've heard the rumors, so I know you have to be going through hell."
"I don't know why I just don't get rid of it," she began crying. "Danny dumped me, called me a slut. After everything I did for him."
"What did you do for him? I mean, you said you didn't sleep with him." I winced as I said it, realizing how tactless it was.
"Forget it. If you really want to help, find out where I can get a free abortion. Do they have those? My parents refused to pay unless I tell them who knocked me up. Danny refuses to pay. Why should he? It's not his kid."
"Is that what you want, Veronica? To have an abortion? I get the feeling that you don't really want that." If she really wanted to take that option, wouldn't she have done it already?
She started crying harder. "I don't want one. I don't believe in it. I really don't. I was planning to give it up for adoption, but I don't know if I can do it. I never thought everyone would turn on me. They are all such fucking hypocrites!" she exclaimed. "Did you know that Tracy Peña, on the squad, had an abortion last year? I stood by her. I didn't judge her. Why am I being judged like this? I hate them!"
I just walked over and put my arms around her and let her cry. "I'm sorry, Veronica. I don't know what to say." She seemed at a breaking point, so I didn't push for any more information.
Later that night, as I lay in bed, I thought about what she was going through. What would it be like to have that kind of stress? I mean, my life was no picnic right now, what with the visions and the upcoming trip I didn't want to take, but at least I had a supportive family. I knew, absolutely knew and would bet the farm on it, that mom and Grams would never treat me like Veronica's parents were treating her. If I ever found myself in that kind of situation, they would be there for me. And although I haven't known him all that long, I knew in my heart that Jack would never do what Danny had done. Maybe it was because of all the crap he had gone through after losing his mother, or maybe because he felt such a responsibility to help raise Megan, but his character was so much stronger than any of the other high school age guys I knew. I was so incredibly...I don't know...lucky...blessed...to have such good people in my life. I was also still feeling plenty of guilt over having blocked what could have been an important vision. On one hand, I was proud of myself for being able to control what was happening in my mind, but at what cost had I done it? Was there any way to see the visions without completely freaking out?
I fell asleep with renewed determination to find a way to help Veronica.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
"The more I see, the less I know for sure."
-John Lennon
I arrived at cheerleading practice the next afternoon and was greeted with the buzz that Veronica had officially been kicked off the team. I thought this was completely unfair! She really cared about cheerleading, and yet she was kicked off the team because she got pregnant. Nobody but me knew seemed to know that she had been raped. Why didn't she tell anyone? What was she so afraid of? Was Jack right? Was she in danger somehow? Was she being threatened or blackmailed in some way? I had thought that maybe her step dad was her rapist, but now I wasn't sure. She had spoken about her parents being so mad at her and not letting her out of their sight and I had been there at the hospital and seen her interactions with him. He might be kind of a jerk, but she didn't act like she was afraid of him or anything. I had also tried to watch Veronica and Nick Grayson, but as far as I could tell, there was absolutely no interaction between them. So, following up on the Nicks had been a dead end apparently.
Coach informed us that rather than having tryouts yet again, they would just promote one of t
he junior varsity cheerleaders. As we were beginning our stretching and warm ups, I overheard a couple of the girls talking about how Veronica was in the locker room right now, cleaning out her locker and turning in her uniform pieces. I really needed to talk with her, or try to talk some sense into her, so I told Coach that I was having 'feminine trouble' and needed to get some things out of my locker. Here's a hint: if you ever need to get out of class or P.E. or pretty much anything, just mention that you are having some sort of woman problem. Nobody questions this. Guy teachers just stammer and look in any direction but yours, and female teachers know better than to question the vagaries and viciousness of Mother Nature.
I found her just sitting on the bench listlessly in front of her open locker. I went and sat beside her silently.
"I've spent almost everyday after school here, in this locker room and in the gym or on the field. It's been such a huge part of my life. What do I do now? I was counting on a cheerleading scholarship to college. I don't have anything else. I'm just a cheerleader. I love it."
"Veronica, why don't you tell people what happened? Tell them that this is not your fault," I implored.
She just stared at me. "How...what do you know? Who told you? Nobody else knows except..." She stood up. "You can't tell anyone! Please Ally! Swear you won't tell anyone!" She was shaking me by the upper arms.
"Veronica! I don't know anything! I just know that this is not your fault! Who is hurting you? Who are you scared of? Tell me! I can help!"
She dropped my arms. "No one can help. It's too late. Please leave me alone, Ally." She turned and left without another word.
Damn it! That went very, very badly. I went back to practice, but my heart wasn't in it. Luckily, Coach just thought I was having cramps.
****
"Jack, I really think I can quit cheerleading now. I mean Veronica got kicked off, so there's no need for me to stay on the squad." We were sitting on his aunt's couch later that evening (well, he was on the floor), revising our essays from before Thanksgiving, a football game on in the background.
He held up a finger for me to wait. I watched him finish a paragraph and then click his laptop shut. He got up off the floor and sat on the opposite side of the couch, pulling my feet into his lap and stripping off my socks to rub my feet. I know, amazing, right? What a guy! I don't know how he figured out that I love to have my feet rubbed because it's not like I ever told him. Ok, maybe the fact that I purr and melt into a puddle gave him a clue. "You could quit cheerleading now," he said, massaging the arch of my left foot. "Is that what you really want?"
"Well, yeah. Of course. Why wouldn't I want it? It's not like I'm a cheerleader-type girl, or anything. I don't even like that crowd."
"I don't know," he sounded thoughtful. "I realize that you only tried out to get close to Veronica, but I have seen you perform. I've seen your face when you are flipping through the air scaring the ever-loving shit out of me. You look like you're enjoying yourself. And you're really good at it. Can you honestly tell me that you won't miss that part of it?"
I let out a big sigh and then pulled my feet out of his hands and crawled over to straddle his lap. I took his handsome face between my hands and leaned in to kiss him. "Why do you have to be so rational? You manage to call me out on all my crap, don't you?"
He just smiled that half-smile I loved so much. "Yep. You do like it, don't you? At least you like the actual cheerleading and stunts, huh?"
"Well, apparently I do. Who knew?"
"Who knew indeed? Besides, having a cheerleader for a girlfriend is hot." He flipped me over on my back on the couch and commenced tickling me. I am extremely ticklish and was soon incoherent.
"Ahh! Stop! Please stop, Jack. Uncle! Uncle!" I saw Megan come into the room wearing her footie pajamas and carrying a book, apparently ready to be tucked into bed. "Help, Megan! Save me!" She was happy to comply, tossing aside her book and jumping onto Jack's back.
"I'll save you, Ally! I'll save you from the monster!"
"Oof! Monster?" Jack roared and sat up, reaching up to grab her. "I'll show you monster! Ally, help me get this silly monkey off my back." Megan was giggling loudly. He managed to get hold of her and swung her around, placing her between us so we could both tickle her. Sodapop, who had been sleeping peacefully on the floor, got into the excitement of the moment and started barking and bouncing around. I'm not sure if you're aware of what a loud, annoying bark blue heelers have. If you want a quiet, calm dog, don't get a blue heeler.
This was the scene that Trina walked into. "What on earth is going on in here?" she demanded, but with good humor. "Megan Elizabeth, you are supposed to be in bed! Jackson Iván, you go tuck your sister in! Ally...I don't know your middle name! Come with me to make some tea!"
"Yes, ma'am," we all said meekly. When adults start using middle names, it's not time to mess around. Jack carried his sister upstairs while I followed Trina into the kitchen.
Trina put the kettle on and turned to get cups out of the cupboard. I heard her sniffing and saw her try to surreptitiously wipe her eyes. "Trina," said, putting my hands on her shoulders. "What's the matter?"
"Oh, Ally," she said as she turned and hugged me close. "It's just good to see him laughing and happy. He's been so sad and serious for so long. He's been through so much. Megan was too young; she doesn't remember how awful it was. Thank you for giving him a chance. So many people haven't. They just judge him for his past. He's a good boy."
"Oh, Trina. He really is. You have no idea."
"Ally," she said, looking intently and seriously at me. "Please try not to hurt him. His heart is so tender, and he's apparently given it you."
"Trina," I said just as seriously, "I love him. I don't ever want to hurt him."
She just looked deeply into my eyes for a silent moment and then seemed to make a decision. "Yes, I can see that you do," she agreed, stepping back to wipe her eyes. "Let's get this tea."
Jack’s tea was getting cold by the time he reappeared. “Sorry that took so long,” he apologized as he took a swig of tea. “She begged me to finish the chapter. You know, that Harry Potter is pretty dark stuff for a first grader. I sure hope she doesn’t have nightmares.”
Jack and I settled into the couch with our tea, while Trina was knitting in the easy chair, the news on in the background.
"Jack, can you come to the game tomorrow night after you get off of work?" I asked. He didn't answer; instead I heard a quiet snore. Trina tssked softly. I turned and removed his mug, which was about to spill, from his hands, amused by his ability to fall asleep in seconds.
"He works too many hours," said Trina. "I'm going to talk to Manny about it."
My movement had woken him up. "Hmmm," he said, rubbing his hands over his face. "Talk to Manny about what?"
"You work too hard, Jack. Manny needs to cut your hours." Trina said as she knit.
"Leave it, Trina. Please. I'm fine. I need to save all the money I can. College is not going to come cheap."
"Jack, the lottery scholarship will pay for most of it and we will help you out. Of course we will." Trina looked hurt.
He got up and went over to kiss his aunt's cheek. "You have done enough, you and Manny. Save it for Megan. Come on, Ally. Let's get you home."
****
Ten minutes later we were in my driveway, making out and fogging up his windows. He pulled back and looked at me. "What did Trina grill you about in the kitchen? I'm sorry for whatever it was. She can be...intense."
I kissed him along his jaw, loving the feel of his whiskers. "Mmmm, you taste good. You smell good, too. She didn't grill me about anything. She just told me how wonderful I am for being your girlfriend. She said how lucky you are to have me."
"Oh, yeah? Those were her exact words?" He laughed.
"Pretty much," I had moved on to his neck. I absolutely love his neck.
"You are seriously playing with fire, querida." When I just increased my pace, he groaned and set me away from him, holding my wande
ring hands between his. "Behave yourself, you little minx." I looked up at him, I hoped innocently, through my lashes. "Not buying it, babe. Now what about your game tomorrow? Can I bring Mat? He's been moping around the garage lately, since he broke up with his girlfriend. We could go out for pizza afterward. Maybe Tara can come to keep Mat company and out of our hair."
"Are you matchmaking?"
He just smirked.
"I can probably make that happen. Do you mind if Travis and Dustin come, too?" I had moved his hands up to my mouth and was kissing them.
His eyes were starting to glaze over just a bit as I continued to nibble on his fingers. "Jesus, Ally. You can bring whoever you want, even that idiot who let you get away." He pulled his hands away from me and pulled me to him and started kissing me in earnest. When it started to get a little intense, he pulled back and rested his forehead on mine. "God, you are so beautiful. I am a lucky guy." He kissed me softly. "I need to go, querida. You tempt me too much." When he clasped my hand, I suddenly gasped, transported in my mind straight into a vivid vision. "Ally? What is it? What do you see?"
I was breathing hard, barely able to focus on his face. I thought I might be about to hyperventilate.
Blood...everywhere. Broken glass...pain. Veronica...me...I couldn't tell which was which. Everything was so fuzzy, fading in and out of focus. At the edges of the vision I could see...him. This time I could almost see his face, although it, too, was covered in blood. I knew him! But how? Where had I seen him before? Just before I faded completely out, amidst immense pain, I saw Jack's face, hovering worriedly over mine, shouting, “¡Mírame, querida! Ally, look at me!” Blackness.
