by Tarrah Betts
At least, this was the way that things used to be between us. It seemed like lately, all Roan was focused on was being a hateful, controlling, angry jerk towards me.
Where was the old Roan that used to smile at me? I missed him terribly.
That old Roan was mine. This new Roan only seemed to care about pulling away from me and if nothing else, it only made feel like chasing after him harder, like a desperate lovesick girl.
Time seemed to pass so slowly now that Roan was gone. I missed him and wanted him to come back home. The house felt so empty and lonely without him in it and truthfully, I felt kind of jealous that there was something out there that was more important to him than I was. I would never admit it out loud, of course.
"Hmph, I don’t need you anyway Roan.”
I felt sulky and distressed whenever Roan did something that made me feel jealous inside, whether he did it intentionally or not. These feelings were new for me and I couldn’t help them from coming to the surface and rearing their ugly heads.
I never used to feel jealousy where Roan was concerned but since I had turned sixteen, all bets were off and I had begun to feel possessive of him for some reason, and I suppose that’s where all these strange feelings stemmed from.
I didn’t quite understand it.
Sometimes I thought it was because I loved him. Did loving someone make you jealous? I didn’t know. I had never loved anyone before Roan. It was confusing but it wasn’t exactly like I could ask anyone about it. I figured most people wouldn’t understand a sixteen-year old girl in love with a twenty-six year old man.
All I understood right now was that Roan was gone and I was filled with despair and thoughts that maybe I wasn’t really that important to Roan anymore.
How could you leave me like this Roan?
Chapter 10
***
“Aspen, hey Aspen, wait up!” I was at the bus stop again, standing in my usual spot, at the back and away from the other pack kids, when I turned and looked up to see who was calling my name. It was difficult to tell among the sea of students flowing by, but the voice was definitely male.
“Aspen, over here!” I looked, this time in the right direction, and saw none other than Justin Meyers pushing through the crowd of students and casually jogging my way! OMG Justin Freaking Myers!! The #1 crush on my list and wide receiver for the high school football team!
Justin and I had been eying and flirting with one another since summer vacation but that was as far as it had gone. He lived in town and I lived with the pack outside Spruce Hollow, so we really hadn’t had the opportunity to see much of one another over the summer holiday.
Since school had started back up again, neither one of us had made a move to proceed any further with the harmless flirting we started with over the summer and I knew that I certainly wasn’t going to be the one to make the first move, that’s for sure; I didn’t know if I was even allowed to have a boyfriend in the first place!
And something told me that I needn’t bother asking. I already knew what Roan’s answer would be had I mustered up the courage to ask him for permission.
Justin was coming towards me in a slow jog with his hand raised up in greeting. He had a smile on his handsome face, the easy smile of a teenaged boy in his prime. He was “All American, boy next door” beautiful, and every single girl in school had lusted after him at one point or another.
Tall and hard bodied, he had perfectly styled blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and enough swagger for ten teenage boys put together. To say he was mature and exceptionally confident for an eighteen-year old boy was an understatement. It was as if he knew that there was nothing in this world that would be denied him once he’d decided that he wanted it.
Justin was a senior and in a world where being a senior meant being at the top of the food chain, I felt flustered and excited that he was calling my name, in public no less, and coming my way.
Justin was like a bright star, all shiny and beautiful and on an upward trajectory. I’d heard through the social grapevine at school that he’d already been scouted and was going to an east coast college on a full football scholarship next year.
In my eyes, he was perfect, as least as far as teenage boys went. He didn’t have the dark, brooding, animalistic sexuality thing going on like Roan did but he was unbelievably attractive to me nonetheless.
Besides, Justin didn’t push me away the way that Roan did. Justin encouraged and reciprocated my interest. With Roan, it was a one sided, uphill battle and sometimes that didn’t a girl much hope to carry on.
“Hey, Aspen! How’s it going?” he said cheerfully as he pushed through the throng of students and smiled that orthodontist perfected smile.
“Hey Justin! I’m good, how about you?” I said as I smiled back like a backwards, goofy, star struck idiot.
“Great! Umm, I was sort of wondering what you were up to tonight?”
“Um, nothing, I don’t think. Why, what’s up?”
“There’s a party tonight, back at the Dam in the woods. It’s gonna be a blast! I was wondering if you wanted to come with me? I can pick you up and everything. It’s no problem.”
Oh my.
Someone pinch me because I must be dreaming. If I wasn’t mistaken, I’d just been asked to accompany one of the most gorgeous guys in school to a party at the Dam, a notorious spot for drinking, high school parties and making out…and Roan wasn’t even home to stop me.
Hell yeah, I wanted to go!
“Wow, really? Wow. Yes! That sounds great Justin. I’d really love to go with you!”
Oh lord, did that sound as desperate out loud as it did in my head?
“K, I’ll pick you up at 8:30pm then. I’ll see you later, I’ve got to run. I’m going to be late and coach Nelson will kill me if I hold up practice,” he said as he jogged off with a lopsided, boyish smile on his face.
“Wow,” I thought to myself dreamily as I watched Justin retreating form, “I’ve just been asked on a date!”
The exhilarating thought of going anywhere with Justin Meyers made me want to skip around the bus stop with excitement. It was my very first high school party, and at the Dam too!
I felt like I could just burst with joy as I looked down at my watch, there were only five more hours to go.
Tonight couldn’t come fast enough for me!
Now, instead of moping around the house, I was actually glad that Roan hadn’t come back from Shawfield yet because I knew there was no way that he’d ever let me go to a party back at the Dam...and especially not with a boy that was two years older than me!
Roan would’ve had a freak out for sure, but he was far away from Spruce Hollow right now, so I guess I’d have to make the decision for myself, as both he and my mom were both gone away and had left me to fend for myself this weekend!
I was the boss of my own life for once and that sounded perfectly terrific to me!
My mom had gone away just this morning on a business trip for work and was coming back on Sunday morning. As usual when she left, she hadn’t left me any instructions or rules, as that was always Roan’s jurisdiction. But Roan wasn’t home and I had no way to contact him now that he was gone away.
Pity.
When he was here at home, I could always find him any time I needed him. Nine times out of ten, he was either at home or at the shop, so there was never any need to give me his cell phone number. But for someone that enjoyed keeping me on such a short leash, it was kind of weird that he’d never given me his cell phone number, ever.
The only reason I could think of was that he saw giving me his cell phone number as a form of familiarity or intimacy that he didn’t want to share with me.
But Roan’s oversight was no matter right now, it actually worked in my favor for once. I smiled a diabolical little grin to myself as the whole evening started to fall into place in my head. Things were working out just perfectly! “Good,” I muttered to myself. It serves Roan right for leaving me all alone for almost a week w
ith no word from him at all.
Not even a phone call to see if I was alright or not.
I stood there at the bus stop, daydreaming about my sudden freedom and what I was going to wear to the Dam party, when I glanced over at the auto body shop and noticed Caver standing in the open bay door. He was watching me intently as he leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed.
Oh crap! I wonder how long he’d been standing there? He would tell Roan for sure if he’d heard any of the conversation between Justin and I. Lord, even if he hadn’t heard us talking, he’d probably still tell Roan that he’d SEEN me talking to Justin at the bus stop!
I took a deep breath, plastered an “I’m not up to anything Caver” smile on my face and waved to him innocently. He smiled and waved back, then turned around and walked back into the shop.
Good, hopefully he hadn’t heard our conversation. I didn’t want anything to spoil this evening!
For the first time in my life, I was calling the shots!
Chapter 11
***
I felt my cell phone buzzing in my back jeans pocket. I fished it out and looked at the number.
It was Caver.
Relieved for the reprieve from the monotony of working with the new Were, I hollered over the snarling in the tiny basement room where we’d been holed up for days.
“Griff, I’m headed outside for a minute to take this call.” He nodded in understanding and gave me a thumbs up over the noise.
“Hello?” I said as I burst through the front door and sucked in a lungful of fresh air. Weres were not meant to be confined indoors for so long, no wonder the new Were was worked into such a frenzy.
“Hey Roan, it’s me,” Caver said. “Yeah, what’s up?” “Um, I just saw Aspen at the bus stop after school.”
I looked down at my watch, it had been another tiring day working with the new male Were. He was a mess and still hadn’t been able to phase back.
Things hadn’t been going well at all. I was ready to shoot a tranquilizer dart in his ass four days ago and be done with the whole thing but his aging parents were at the house and we couldn’t convince his hysterical mother to leave the house and let us do our job.
She was currently camped out in the basement with him and would stand in front of the new Were, clutching him around the neck and crying, every time we tried to work with him. I suppose our methods probably seemed harsh and aggressive to her, but we were Weres for cripes sakes, not a bunch of woman at a tea party.
It was frustrating as hell.
Griff had suggested that we take a kinder, gentler approach in working with the new Were but my patience was nearing it’s end of it’s shelf life.
I had never been away from Aspen for this long before and I was worried about her. Caver had been watching her and calling me daily with updates on what she was up to and so far, she had been a good girl, just going to school in the mornings and then going back home when school was out.
I was glad as it took some of the stress off me knowing she would behave if I wasn’t right there on her back all the time.
“Yeah, so?” I replied in an irritated tone. Unless Aspen had been running around naked at the bus stop, I didn’t really think that was a piece of information I needed to interrupt my work for.
“So, she was talking to that Justin Myers kid. You know, nice looking, star wide receiver, tall, well built. She looked pretty smitten and giggly with him. I couldn't hear what they were saying above all the other kids talking at the bus stop, but I just thought you might want to know,” he replied smugly.
“Thanks Caver. Keep me informed if you see anything else,” I said. “Will do boss.”
Justin Meyers, huh? Great.
I shoved my phone into my back jeans pocket and left the front walkway to sprint out to my truck that was parked in the driveway. Fishing out the tranquilizer dart gun from the locked weapons chest in back of the truck, I checked it to see if it was loaded, then cocked it back and took the safety off.
It was time to go home.
I jumped down out of the truck and very calmly walked back to the front door, where I met up with Griff and Kuno who’d both decided to come outside as well to get some fresh air after being cooped up in the basement. I knew they were feeling the strain too.
“Pack up boys, we’re going home,” I said as I stalked passed them.
They both shot me twin bewildered looks as they took in the set of my jaw and the fact that I was carrying a loaded gun with the safety turned off.
“Uh, what are you up to Roan? He still hasn’t managed to phase back into his human form yet.I thought we were going to try and work with his family? You’re not going to do something rash with that tranquilizer gun now are you, buddy?” Griff said, his face concerned.
“What do you propose that we try next, Griff, have everyone hold hands and sing Kumbaya? Screw that, I’m done with this shit. We’ve been here long enough, spinning our wheels and getting nowhere. I’m taking that little fucker out.”
They followed at my heels as I calmly opened the door, made my way downstairs and unlocked the basement door. The snarling male Were in the corner raised his head and lunged towards us, while his mildly deranged mother jumped up from her perch on the couch and tried to grab him.
I raised the gun and shot him twice in midair as his mother screamed that I was killing him.
“Let’s load him in the back of the truck, boys. We’re getting the hell out of here.”
Chapter 12
***
I was excited.
No, excited was an understatement, I was jubilant and floating on air.
Being invited to the Dam party tonight was the single most exciting thing that had ever happened in my very limited social life. Ever.
My existence was generally pretty predictable and always strictly controlled and overseen by Roan. It was hard for me because while I never felt like I fit in with the other kids in the pack, it also made it nearly impossible to fit in at school and have human friends because let’s face it, unless they lived with a pack of Weres as well, we really didn’t have very much in common.
I did have one human friend though, and as luck would have it, also happened to be my best friend. Her name was Sorcha. And I loved her like a sister.
Sorcha was easy to be with, she never questioned the way I lived and therefore I never had to lie to her about my secretive life on the acreage. She just accepted me for who and what I was and therefore, Roan allowed and tolerated her presence in my life.
Tonight, I felt intoxicated with the power to actually make my own decisions for once. Normally, I wasn’t ever allowed to go out on dates with boys and even when I was out with Sorcha, I still had an early curfew.
Roan always said that there wasn’t anything good going on that took place after dark.
He was a tyrant, I tell you! It was bad enough that we lived in the middle of nowhere and exciting, teenaged entertainment was hard to come by but how could I ever do anything remotely fun with Roan’s strict parameters keeping me in line all the time?
But I had none of Roan’s rules keeping me down tonight, now did I? Since both Roan and my mom were away, all bets were off and I was free to do whatever my little heart desired!
And, like the teenaged girl that I was, my heart desired Justin Meyers and going to the Dam party with a bunch of other teenagers.
I couldn’t think of one single thing that sounded more fun than that.
Two hours later, I was ready to go. I was buffed, puffed and glittery with shimmery body lotion. I had straightened my naturally curly hair until it hung down my back like a shiny strawberry blond curtain. My nails were painted with “Pink Shimmer” nail polish and I’d even put on makeup, which I normally never wore because Roan always said that “nice, young girls don’t wear makeup because it makes them look trashy”.
I checked my reflection in the mirror and the girl staring back at me didn’t look trashy, she looked smoking hot and could easily have
passed for a nineteen or twenty year old girl.
Wow, maybe I could even get into a bar?
One thing’s for sure, I’d gone all out in the makeup department with plumping lip-gloss, tons of mascara and black eye liner. I’d always been told that my eyes were my best feature and I’d used tons of makeup to play them up nicely. The eyes gazing peering out of my small face were smoky and mysterious looking, just like I’d seen in fashion magazine at the drug store in town.
I was beaming with my efforts and had chosen a tiny black lace top over a tiny black tank top and black bra with tight, low-rise jeans. I felt like a beautiful, dark princess.
Justin was going to be blown away! This wasn’t the same Aspen that he knew from school, the Aspen standing in my bedroom was a sexually charged dynamo, drunk on her own freedom!
I was waiting in the living room, talking to Sorcha on the phone when I heard a vehicle pulling into the driveway promptly at eight-thirty on the dot.
“OMG, he’s here!!” I exclaimed enthusiastically into the phone.
“Please just be careful Aspen, I’ve heard a lot of stories about those Dam parties.”
“Oh Sorcha, don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I’ll call you when I get back if it’s not too late, okay?” I said as I got off the couch to meet Justin at the door.
I smiled, wondering if Justin was as excited as I was? The doorbell rang and I paused for a moment, suddenly overcome with uncertainty. If Roan or my mother found out what I was about to do, I would be dead meat for sure. I could just imagine how long I’d be grounded for. And then I’d be plagued with Roan’s incessant lecturing and angry looks for weeks, months even. Lord.
Justin rang the bell again, snapping me out of my reverie and I swallowed hard. I didn’t care; it was worth whatever punishment Roan would dish out if I got caught. I pasted on a smile, grabbed my small, silver sparkly clutch purse and answered the door.
