by Claire Gough
“Of course.” I try and sell the lie. There’s no chance I’d tell her.
“Yeah, right,” she says, pushing me playfully.
In my heels, I wobble forward into some poor guy’s back. He turns around to see who just made him spill half his pint…and he hasn’t even lifted it off the bar yet. The anger in his eyes soon softens when he sees me cringing.
“I am so sorry. My friend is a bit tipsy and she pushed me.” I point at Bee over my shoulder, still looking into his green eyes. He smiles a perfect smile. “Please, let me buy you another pint.”
“I’d rather have your phone number.”
I hear Bee snickering behind me. She’s loving this. I’m lost as to what as to do in this situation. One, I have a hard time dealing with guys. I’m used to getting the guy who is the friend of the guy Bee ends up with at the end of the night. And two, I have Fin to contend with at the moment. When he leaves in four days, then what?
“I don’t think I should,” I say, touching his arm, feeling nothing. No electricity, no heat, no anything. I realise being around Fin may have completely wrecked me forever.
“Oh, come on. It’s just a number, then maybe a drink at some point.” He shrugs as I retract my hand.
“She has a boyfriend,” Bee says suddenly, resting her head on my shoulder.
We both watch the guy’s face fall. He nods, taking his glass in his hand, and walks off. I don’t have time to feel bad. Bee pushes me to the bar, her head still on my shoulder. Her breath smells like white wine as she laughs.
“How easy was that?”
All I can think of is how Fin has been called my boyfriend twice today and how I love how it feels.
This is it! This feeling right here, right now! This is why I never wanted to let him get close in the first place! Fin has four days left here and I can already feel a gnawing in the pit of my stomach because I know I’ll have to let him go.
Bee helps me carry the drinks to the table. Fin is sitting next to Brad, his arm draped over Brad’s shoulder, deep in conversation. They are probably talking about the band, or maybe they’re talking about us. I hope they’re not talking about us. Maybe Fin's disappointed Brad got the carefree girl who’s not scared to get laid. Bee practically bounces back to her seat, spilling Brad's pint a little.
“Alex just got hit on by a guy at the bar!” she shouts, then giggles.
Her words were aimed for Brad, but in her drunken state, I think the whole table heard her. Fin’s brows furrow and he frowns.
“Oops,” Bee says, putting her fingers to her lips, still giggling. The look leaves Fin's eyes and he laughs a little.
Fin stands and moves back to his seat. I slide his Coke toward him. I feel like there’s a little distance between us now, thanks to Bee and her comment. He’s watching Jay and Cole, who are deep in conversation.
Fin scoots his chair closer to mine and wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him. “I let you buy the drinks once, Miss Duke, and this is what happens?”
His lips graze my ear. Delicious electricity runs through me, rendering me speechless. I think I feel it more right now because I thought he was pissed at me. Even though, honestly, I know it’s none of his business who I talk to. Either way, I’m glad to feel his touch right now.
“I am not getting in there with them!” Cole drunkenly points to Fin in the front seat of the van. I haven’t even gotten in yet, but he’s already protesting about being in an enclosed space with us.
“You can get into the back with the instruments, if you'd rather,” Fin snaps, his posh accent now sounding patronizing.
Cole glares at him. “Pfft!” He waves his hand through the air and starts walking. I don’t have the heart to tell him he's heading in the wrong direction. I climb up into the front seat of the van, watching Jay follow Cole, trying to turn him around.
“Come on, guys.” Fin nods to Brad and Bee to get into the front seat next to me. Getting Bee in is going to be fun. I grasp her hands as Brad holds her waist from behind. She just giggles the whole time. I can see her skipping yet another day of work tomorrow.
I love having them in the front of the van with us, mainly because it means I am squashed up to Fin as he drives, stealing all his body heat. I rest my head on his shoulder. I see his smile reflected in the windscreen. We’re silent as Brad and Bee count how many drinks she’s had. They have to keep starting over because she keeps getting it wrong…until she announces she feels sick. Brad quickly opens the window to let in some fresh air. I’m glad he does because I know she’d definitely launch it my way rather than at him.
When we pull up to the curb, Brad slides out, then helps Bee. “I’m going to make sure she's okay,” he says, supporting Bee with his arm around her waist.
“He sss gonnda stay at mine. You guys, dough... Have some fun!” she slurs, smirking. Even if she weren’t drunk right now, I know she would have given pretty much the same response.
“Okay. See you tomorrow. Be safe,” Fin says as Brad shuts the door, a smile on his face.
Fin pulls away from the curb.
“So… Some guy hit on you?” Fin asks pretty much right away.
I lift my head off his shoulder. “Yeah, I guess.” He nods. I look at his reflection in the windscreen. The smile is now gone. “Thanks to Bee, I made him spill his pint, so I offered to get him a fresh one. He said he’d rather have my number.” I shrug. It was no big deal.
His lips pull into a thin line as he drives, his dark eyes focused on the road. “Did you give it him?” he practically growls.
I start to feel hurt that he thought I would. That soon turns to anger. Even if I did, it has nothing to do with Fin, does it?
“You’re really asking me that right now?” I snap.
He turns to look at me for a second, then back at the road. His eyes seem darker than usual.
“Yes, I’m really asking. Did you?”
“No, Fin, I didn’t. Not that it’s any of your business if I did.”
He shrugs. “Exactly, so why not? This thing with us will only last a week. You said it yourself. You’re going to be the one left here, so why not set something up for when I’m gone, right?”
His words cut right through me, starting the familiar gnawing in my stomach again. I don’t want him to leave.
“I don’t want to set something up for when you leave.” My voice comes out as small and hurt as I feel right now. No, I’d rather him not leave at all. “And I can’t believe you actually think I would.” My voice is a little stronger, but not by much. I sense that familiar feeling in my gut of missing someone. Eventually, Fin is going to be yet another person who leaves me. I hate that feeling. I’d do anything to avoid it. I lean my head on his shoulder again. I need to be close to him while he’s still here. I feel him sigh.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers as he pulls the van up behind The Driftwood. We sit here for a moment, my head resting on his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to sound harsh, Alex. It’s just...” He sighs again. I lift my head off his shoulder to look at him. “The thought of you moving on with someone else once I’m gone just—”
“Please… Don’t,” I interrupt. “I already know, Fin.”
His hand searches for mine in the darkness. Neither of us say anything as I study his face. His dark eyes, which are on their way back to being golden brown. His full, kissable lips. His fashionable stubble that has a hint of red in it to match his chestnut hair. His fantastic jawline. I’m stamping this image into my mind to play back once he's gone.
He pushes my blonde hair behind my ear, his eyes searching my face. I want to make the most of my last few days with him, but I’m also preparing myself for when he leaves, when I’m not going to be able to look at him anymore, when it’s going to hurt like hell.
I watch his eyes. He looks deep in thought, like he's trying to figure out a way we could keep this. I hope he’s not going to suggest a long-distance relationship. They never work. I’ve read enough books and watched enough movies
to know that’s just what holiday romances tell themselves so it doesn’t hurt as much when the holiday part ends and the romance slowly dies with it. I have already Googled how long it takes to get to Cowley. Three hours and fifty minutes. I don’t actually drive, so Fin would be the one constantly travelling. When I finally get my B&B up and running, I won’t be able to have weekends off to see him anyway.
“Come on.”
I slide out of my side of the van as he does the same. I walk around to meet him on the curb and take his hand. We start to walk slowly toward the B&B.
“Finnley… Do you regret this?” I ask, trying to sound light-hearted as I watch my feet take one step after another.
He frowns. “What?”
“Well, I’m sure Brad's told you all about his wild nights with Bee, and I was just wondering if you regretted picking the wrong one.”
“Wrong one? What are you talking about?”
He stops walking, but I don’t turn. I don’t want to look at him right now. I’m embarrassed, but I still need to ask in order to judge his reaction. To see if I am reading him right, or if he is just playing me really well.
“Yeah, because…you know…Brad's getting laid nearly every night and you’re just…not…at all.”
I can't believe I just said that, but it’s been playing on my mind since I saw him talking to Brad at the pub. He pulls back on my hand, turning me to face him.
“Alex, I wanted to spend my week with you because of the connection I feel to you.”
I shrug as if his words mean nothing, but they do. They’ve just helped build up my heart a little bit more…just in time to be shattered on Sunday.
“I just thought guys in a band did this sort of thing all the time.”
He laughs. “Alex, if you knew how long it has been since I actually dated anyone, you'd soon change that opinion.”
Now I want to know how long it’s been… Wait, do I really? Even if he did tell me, would I trust his answer? This could all be part of his plan to get me into bed.
He pulls me to him. “Now, stop being stupid,” he says softly. His lips are two inches from mine, his breath warm. I savour the feeling of it.
“Right back at ya,” I whisper, smiling.
His lips turn into a smile right before they softly touch mine. I grab his t-shirt to steady myself because these heels suddenly feel like skyscrapers, making me dizzy. His warm arms wrap around me, pinning me to his chest.
Needing to breathe, I pull away. His hand presses my head into his chest and he kisses my hair. His lips stay there for several seconds. Then he slides his hand back into mine and starts leading me home.
I quickly shut the drawer to my desk and rush across my room as the door slowly opens.
“It’s only me.” Aunt Jill walks in.
I instantly feel my heart crack and speed up all at once. I’m in a panic and don’t know why… Okay, maybe it’s the estate agent forms I’ve just hidden in my drawer that are putting me on edge.
“The Irish one is asking for you.” She smiles. Part of me wants to hate Fin for asking Jill to come get me, but I think she already knows what’s been going on with us. She has secret powers. I’m sure of it.
I laugh. “You mean Fin?” I know she knows his name is Fin, but I also know she hates nicknames and doesn’t want to use it.
“Yes, that’s him. He just wants a word.” Smiling, she walks out of my room.
I just saw Fin at breakfast, so I have no idea what he wants, but I don’t care. My heart is already beating at full speed at just the thought of him wanting to see me again. I only came back to my room to double check the forms I filled out late last night so I could hand them in later... Maybe.
I only filled them out because my mind wouldn’t let me sleep until I did.
I stick my head out the living quarter’s door, seeing him standing there. “Hey.”
“Hey. I tried calling your phone, but I couldn’t get through. I hope it’s okay I asked your aunt to get you.”
I nod. “Yeah. Living underground can be hit-and-miss for phone reception.”
“What time’s your viewing?”
I lean on the door to make sure Jill can’t come through. “2:30pm. Are you still coming with me?”
He looks at his phone. I start to panic, afraid he's going to say he's busy. I don’t know if I can face a viewing without him there.
“Definitely. We’re heading into town to have a look around, but I’ll be back by 2:00pm. I promise.” He smiles.
“Town?” I rush on before I can change my mind. “Could you just wait here a moment?”
He nods. “Sure.”
I quickly run back down to my room. My hand shakes as I pull out the drawer that holds the papers for the place I saw yesterday.
I run back up the stairs with them clutched to my chest. Running through the door, I quickly thrust them at him. He scans the top one. His eyes turn intense as he looks up at me.
“Alex, are you serious? I mean, you still have a viewing today. Plus, I’m sure you can book more.”
I nod. “Yeah, I think I am. The thought of losing that place to someone else wouldn’t let me sleep last night. If I change my mind, I can just retract my offer.”
“If we weren’t in public right now, I’d kiss you.” He grins. I can hear Alistair in the lounge, talking to a few lingering guests as they finish their coffee.
“I kind of wish we were alone right now.” I fold my arms across my chest and smirk at him.
“Seriously, Alex. I am so proud of you.” He throws his arms around me, pulling me to him. It’s not quite as good as a kiss, but I’ll take it. I wrap my arms around him and take a deep breath.
“If you’re okay doing it, can you drop them at their office for me?” I ask. “I’ll direct you.”
He pulls back, grinning. “I’d be honoured. It’ll give me an excuse to ditch the guys for a few minutes.”
What little sun is in the sky stings my eyes as I look up at the building in front of me. Fin tightens his grip on my hand.
“What’s scaring you the most?” he asks, also looking up at it.
“That I’m going to love it. That I was stupid and naïve to think the pull I felt to the first place meant I should try for it. That maybe I’m going to love every place I find and won’t be able to choose.”
A black Mercedes pulls up across the road. An elderly man with a white moustache gets out and walks over to us, a clipboard tucked under his arm.
“Hello. You must be Alexis.” He reaches us, hand extended.
Despite my anxiety, I smile. “That’s me.” I grasp his hand.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Eric.” He looks at Fin.
“This is my boyfriend, Fin.” They shake hands.
“Let the tour begin.” He smiles excitedly and leads us up to the front door. There’s no stained glass rose in this window like there was in my building yesterday...
Wait… My building?
A strange sense of pride washes over me at thinking about it being my building. I love it.
Eric opens the plain oak door into the gloomy lobby. It takes up way too much space. I’d make the lobby smaller and the lounge a little bigger. Relief suddenly floods through me as I realise I don’t love this place. I’m not sure I even like it. Fin studies my face, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.
Stepping back out into the mild sunshine, I look at the sky then close my eyes, the warmth instantly soaking into my face. I start laughing. I have no clue why.
I pull Fin toward the sea. He smiles, watching my happy giggles as I walk backwards, pulling on both his hands.
“It’s nice to see you so happy,” he says.
I suddenly stop, making him bump into me. His smile drops.
“I am happy. I’m on top of the world right now.” I snake my arms around his neck, pulling his face to mine. I lean toward him, gently biting his bottom lip. He closes his eyes and groans. That starts a longing in the pit of my stomach. Maybe even a bit lowe
r, too.
“God, Alex. You are asking for trouble right now.” He takes a deep breath, then slowly opens his eyes, his hands still resting on my hips.
“Sorry, but I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I met you.”
I can’t believe I just confessed that, but seeing your dreams starting to come true feels so damn good, and I’m glad I get to share it with him. His lips turn up into a slight smile
“Was I a bit too forceful?” I gently kiss his bottom lip. He closes his eyes and groans again, which is the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard. When my lips cover his, it’s my turn to moan as his fingers dig into my hips, pulling my body to his. I feel his lips turn into a smile. I quickly pull away from him and look into his golden eyes.
“Emergency stop,” I breathe out.
He nods. I slide my hand back into his and continue toward the sea. I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with fresh air.
“What are you going to call your place?” he asks as we lean on the wall looking out to the sea.
“I’ve had the name picked out for years, but you'll laugh at me.”
“Hey, this is your dream. I will most certainly not laugh at you.”
I look at him, taking a deep breath. “The Dukes Guest House.” He laughs, just as I predicted.
“Sorry. I’m not laughing at the name. I’m laughing at the fact you picked it out years ago, then we suddenly stepped into your life with the same name.” He shakes his head.
I bark out a laugh. “Huge coincidence.”
“Nah. I was meant to meet you, Alexis Duke.” He pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my head. I’d love to take his words as playfully as they sounded, but in this moment, I kind of believe him.
“I picked the name as a tribute to my parents.”
I feel him nod. We’re silent for a moment. I need a subject change.
“So, your lyrics last night…” I lift my head to look up at him. He seems nervous.
He swallows. “Yeah?”
“It turns out you’re really deep, Finnley.” I bump his shoulder playfully.
