by Claire Gough
Clothes in hand, I start to make my way to the bathroom. Something resting on top of the dresser catches my eye. I put my clothes down on the end of Fin's bed and move toward what looks like the book I caught Fin reading Monday night. My heart pounding, I pick it up, running my hand over the brown cover. This is so unlike me, but I want to know what Finnely would read. I am not a nosy person, but for some reason, I start to flip through the pages, seeing handwritten words.
Oh, my god. These are his lyrics!
I walk backwards until the back of my knees hit the bed and I sit down. Each page has a different song on it. Some bits are crossed out, some are corrected in someone else’s handwriting. My eyes fill with tears as I read, the anger behind the words now making sense after our conversation last night.
This is about the guys, his new family. They mean so much to him. It’s such an amazing connection, and now I know why it’s so strong. I flick through a few more, stopping at another random page.
This one is definitely about his birth parents. I keep reading, coming to the lyrics he has tattooed on his arm. Tears spill out of the corners of my eyes.
I keep flicking through. Most of the lyrics are either about his birth parents or his adoptive parents.
I know I shouldn’t be reading this right now because it’s like reading a diary. I don’t know how he'd feel if he saw me, or that I’m crying.
I keep flicking through the pages. There are still so many blank pages at the end, which I know he'll eventually fill...once I’m out of his life.
I look at the last page with writing on it. I stare at the title of the song at the top of the page.
I hear my heart in my head as my fingers trace over it.
Wait… Is this about me?
The words have been crossed out and rewritten a few times. I slam the book shut. I don’t want to read the rest... I can’t.
“Electricity,” I whisper. That is the exact word I’d use for this weird connection I feel to Fin. He feels the exact same thing I do?
How did I let myself get in so deep with a guy who’s only in my life for a little over a week? I’m not sure, but I’m glad I did. In one week, Fin has managed to get my dream moving more than I have in years. I owe him a lot for that.
I place the book back, trying to leave it exactly as I found it, before I go in search of Fin.
As I sneak down the stairs, I pause, just able to make out a song. “Judy in Disguise”? At this time of the morning, the only music from that era should be coming from the rooms as my aunt and Alistair clean, but it’s not.
I follow the music into the lounge. All the tables are clean, the little decorative vase with a single white Tulip sitting in the centre of each. The music is louder in here. When the song changes to “Yesterday Man”, I hear my aunt's laugh coming from the kitchen. My stomach grumbles at the smell of breakfast still hanging in the air. I peer into the kitchen. I can’t quite understand what I’m seeing.
“Bet you boys don’t play anything like this, do you?” my aunt says, resting her hand on Fin's shoulder.
His back is to me as he stands at the stove wearing dark blue jeans, a long-sleeve black t-shirt…and my pink apron. I bite my lip to keep myself from grinning. This is too cute. Neither of them notices I’m standing here. The scene fills me with so much happiness. The guy I’m completely falling for interacting with my aunt… I love it.
“No, we don’t. They don’t make them like this anymore,” Fin says, stirring something on the stove.
Jill pats his shoulder. “You’ve got that right.” She smiles at him.
As bizarre as this scene is, I think my heart might explode at how cute it is, as well. I let out a giggle, giving away my location. Fin turns and sees me, a smile spreading across his face.
“Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” he says.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Jill says, squeezing my shoulder as she walks past.
I look him up and down. “My pink apron suits you. It, um…brings out your eyes.”
He laughs, holding his arms out and slowly turning around. “You like? I know you’re not meant to steal things from hotels, but I think this might be coming home with me.”
I walk over to the stove. “What’s going on?”
He reaches behind him to undo the strings of the apron. “I wanted to cook you breakfast. I mean, you’ve cooked mine nearly every day since we got here. Since you slept in, I came down to have a word with Jill to see if she'd let me cook for you. I was shocked when she agreed, then offered to get you those.” He gestured to my clothes.
I slide my arms around his waist.
“She cares about you so much, Alex.” He looks down at me. “We both do.” He kisses my cheek.
I step back. I don’t want to hear how he cares for me because I know that’s going to make Tuesday morning so much harder.
“Come on. I have a table set for us,” he announces as Otis Redding starts singing about these “Arms of Mine”.
I follow Fin to the one table made up with cutlery, sauces, and jams that I totally missed when I walked through. He pulls my seat out for me, then pushes my chair back in.
“Would you like tea or coffee?” he asks, just like he has been asked every day this week.
I smirk. “Coffee, please.”
When he walks back into the kitchen, I laugh. This whole situation is so sweet, yet crazy. Fin soon returns with one of the little coffee pots and places it in front of me.
“Will it be a full English breakfast this morning, Miss Duke?” he asks, grinning.
“Yeah, I guess. Just—”
“No tomatoes. Jill told me.” He walks off into the kitchen.
So this is what it feels like to be a guest here. I like it. The thing I enjoy most is definitely the waiter.
Moments later, Fin returns with two plates. He puts one in front of me and one on the other side of the table, then takes a seat.
“Lovely service here, isn’t it?” I point out.
He grins. “It always is.”
“I think the waiter’s a little bit dishy, don’t you?” I ask, picking up the ketchup.
He laughs, shaking his head. “Really? You think so? I think he needs to shave.” I laugh as he pours our coffee.
When we finish breakfast, I feel the need to ask.
“So, have you seen Cole this morning?”
Fin tenses up. I’m egger to get these two back on speaking terms because I feel like this argument is all my fault.
“Yeah, I did.” His voice is clipped. I know Fin blames Cole for me getting drunk last night. He seems to think if Cole had told me about them staying a few more days, I wouldn’t have felt the need to drink so much. I had told him it wouldn’t have made a difference, but he didn’t believe me. Hell, I didn’t believe myself, either.
“Please tell me you guys made up.” I sip my coffee.
“Um… Not really. We don’t do the thing girls do where they talk it out until they feel better. Guys tend to hold it in until one of us punches the other.” I glare at him. He reaches for my hand. “Alex, I’m joking… Well, partly.”
“It’s not funny now that I know you did actually hit him once.”
“Like I’ve said, Cole and I had issues before we even got here.”
“True, but this one is all on me, Fin.”
He sips his coffee, then shakes his head. “Not at all, Alex. He’s known about this gig since Thursday, but kept it to himself and smugly sat back to watch what happened.” He shakes his head. “That’s not right as a friend or manager.”
“Why, though? Why would he want to hurt you like that?”
“Honestly, I think he fell for my sister. He resents me for stopping the relationship.”
I nod, wondering what Lisa is like. Does she look like Fin? Have his golden eyes?
“Does she know you?” I ask, then think maybe it’s not the best question on such a lovely morning.
“She knows my name’s Fin and that I’m friends with Cole, but that
’s it. After I found out about her, and had a few pints, I went back and knocked on my parents’ door, demanding to know why her and not me. I didn’t get my answer. Instead, they begged me not to tell her I’m her brother.” He shakes his head. “And, for some reason I can’t fathom, I’m still keeping that secret.”
I frown. I hate that these people have hurt him so deeply, but still expect favours from him.
“You’re such a strong person, Finnley.” I shake my head and finish my coffee. He laughs at me. “I mean it.” I squeeze his hand.
“I know you do. I’m laughing because you’re stronger than I am, but you don’t see it.” He scoots his chair out and stands, picking up our dirty plates.
“No, Fin. I’ll do that.” I stand. He moves the plates to one side, just out of my reach.
“You go and get ready.”
I narrow my eyes. “For?”
“Whatever you want to do today… That is, if you want to spend the day with me.” He smirks.
“Of course I do.”
“Then go shower and do whatever girls do.” He walks off.
“What about you?”
He turns and grins at me. “I showered while you were sleeping.” He walks into the kitchen.
He was in the shower while I was metres away in his bed? Stupid sleep!
Seeing as Fin missed out on the Freeport and Fleetwood trip with the guys, I decided today would be a great day to show him what he missed, along with some other places I know the guys wouldn’t have gone to because, well…because they are tourists.
As we walk out of Fleetwood market, the sun shining down on us, Fin raises my hand to kiss it. “Let me take you out tonight, Alex.”
“What?” I laugh as he starts to swing our joined hands. I think the nice weather has put us both in a good mood.
He grins. “You heard me. Let’s get dressed up and go out. Date night.”
I look into his eyes. I would love that. I’m not one who likes to dress up, but a night out with Fin would be perfect.
“Trust me when I say I’d love nothing more, but I’m working tonight.” I see his smile falter, but he tries to keep it in place. “I promised to hold down the fort for my aunt. She and Alistair are going out and asked me to cover.” He shrugs, grinning at me once more. “How about you stay in with me instead?”
“Takeaway?”
I smile at him. “That sounds perfect.” We walk back to his car.
“Okay, okay. I got it. I have done this before, you know. It’s almost like it’s my day job.” I laugh. Jill looks at me, her hands on her hips. Alistair’s standing in the doorway, trying to lead her out the door.
“That’s not what I meant. Now, their paperwork is on the bar. They said they would be here around six,” she informs me for the fifth time. “Where’s the boy? I thought he'd be with you?” she adds as Alistair grabs her hand and pulls her toward the door. He’s already tried this once, but she remembered there was something else to tell me. I know she means Fin, but she’d rather not use a nickname.
“Don’t worry about anything. Please.” I wave as Alistair pulls her to the taxi.
I shut the door and smirk to myself, walking into the lounge. I grab the paperwork for the family of three and look it over. I glance at the stairs, hoping Fin and Cole are making up right now.
I look down at my bare feet hanging out of the bottom of my jeans. I smile to myself. I have gotten so close to Fin in a week…but still not close enough for him to see me in my pink fluffy slippers! I glance at the door to the lounge yet again. Nothing. Fin and Cole have been upstairs talking for the better part of two hours. I’ve got to admit, I’m a little worried. What if they ended up fighting?
I check my phone quickly. Nothing. I sigh and heave myself up out of the little pine chair I’ve been sitting in and walk back into the lobby. Nothing. I walk into the lounge and turn, ready to sit back in my seat.
I squeal, putting a hand on my chest when I see Fin standing in the doorway.
He smiles. “I’m sorry I took so long. Did everything go okay with the guests?”
I know he doesn’t care about the guests I had to check in. He just doesn’t want me to ask about whatever just happened upstairs. And I won’t ask…yet.
“I need to show you something.” I walk up to him and hold my hand out. He slowly takes it, his eyes on mine as I start pulling him along.
I open the door to the living quarters and lead Fin down the stairs, pausing at my bedroom door. I have never shown a guest our living quarters.
“Alex… This is where you live.” He sounds scared. Maybe he thinks I’m going to get in trouble. Honestly, maybe I am.
“Yup. And this…” I pause with my hand on the brass handle to my room, “is my room.”
I open the door and walk in, dragging him behind me. Once inside, I let go of Fin’s hand and close the door. I stand there and watch him run his hand across the top of my dresser, looking at the mirror surrounded by the fairy lights. I walk around and turn on all the different switches, making all the lights come to life. Fin looks around, taking everything in. After last night, after all he shared with me, I wanted to share something with him. My room is the only thing I haven’t yet, so I figured it was time. He looks at the shelf above my computer, spotting a photo in a blue frame.
He nods at it. “Mr. and Mrs. Duke.” He smiles, studying the photo of them holding me outside The Driftwood. I was around three. That photo was taken moments before I fell up the stairs and got my famous nose bleed.
Fin carries on exploring, not once looking at me. He stops at the photos of me and Bee as teenagers. It’s a little embarrassing for him to see the thick highlights I had back then, but I guess there’s not much I can do about that now. The next photo is one of me, Jill, and Uncle Bert from one Christmas.
I sit on the bed, and get comfy. At the rate he’s going, this is going to take a while. He looks at everything, trying to learn a little about me. I can’t believe he cares about me enough to study my things, just like I studied his car to try to learn about him. He runs his fingers over the keys of my computer, as if it might speak and tell him something about me. He looks at my perfume bottle, picking it up and smelling it. He smiles and turns to me.
He makes his way to the bed sitting on it. He politely takes his shoes and socks off before lying next to me. He turns his head to the side to look at me. I scoot over and rest my head and hand on his chest, the same way we spent last night. His arms encircle me.
“Why did you decide to show me your room?”
“Well, you've shared so much with me the past few days, this is the only thing I had left to share with you.” I prop my chin up on my hand as I look up at him.
“Well, thank you.” He smiles, running his hand up and down my back.
“Did you talk to Cole?” I finally ask.
He nods and puts his other arm under his head. “Yeah. I think we’re okay now. We did the ‘girl thing’ and got our feelings out in the open, then hugged,” he jokes.
I place my head on his chest again and listen to his heart. “So you’re friends again?”
“Yeah. I think you'll see a difference in the way he treats you now, too.”
“Well, I know you didn’t want to talk to him, but thank you for doing that for me, Finnley.” I close my eyes and sigh, still listening to his heart…which has suddenly gotten faster.
“Mitchell,” he whispers.
I freeze. I don’t even breathe for a second. What did he just say? I close my eyes for a moment, my own heart starting to race. I know what I thought I heard him say, but that can’t be right, can it?
I slowly lift my head and frown, looking at him. “Pardon?” I ask softly.
His eyes are closed. “My first name… It's Mitchell.” He opens his eyes to look at me. I think I just fell for him that final little bit.
“Wow…,” I breathe out. It’s all I can say right now.
“I hate it. It’s the one thing my birth parents gave me. When the
y gave me up, they insisted my name be Mitchell. God knows why it mattered to them.” I watch him, letting him get it all out. “Finnley is my adoptive last name. I use it out of respect for them.”
“I like it.” I am still in shock. I can’t believe he just told me his name. He said nothing would ever make him reveal it. I can’t help but wonder what’s changed. Maybe I already know and don’t want to accept it.
Mitchell Finnley. I think it’s perfect for him, but I can understand why he doesn’t like it. His parents have hurt him so much, I know why he wouldn’t want anything to do with the name they gave him. However, his name is a part of him. I don’t like the fact he hides it.
“Mitchell Finnley.” I test it out. I smile and trace patterns on his chest over his black t-shirt.
“I’ve hated it for years, but when you say it…” He gives me that crooked, sideways smile.
“Mitch,” I say, as if seeing if it fits. “I like it. Mitch is a sexy drummer in a rock band who writes his own lyrics.” I nod, and he laughs. “I'm serious. I think your name’s sexy.”
“I know you’re serious. That’s why I’m laughing. I don’t think Mitchell is sexy at all.”
“Yes, it is, although I do think I’d find any name sexy when it’s attached to you.” I bite my lip.
“Well, thank you, Alex.” He smiles.
“No. Thank you, Mitch.”
He closes his eyes briefly. I have never wanted a man more in my life.
Slowly, I climb on top of him, straddling him. His eyes shoot open, staring into mine, as I lower myself over his body and touch my lips to his. His hands slide up my back as he groans into my mouth, sending my pulse soaring.
I slide my hands down his chest to the top of his jeans. When I start undoing them, his hands quickly grab my wrists. He pulls away, staring into my eyes. I’m frozen on the spot. More than anything, I want him to let go before I talk myself out of anything…or before he can talk me out of anything.
