by Toni Blake
Until, that is, he approached, giving her a quick once over, to say, “You look great, freckles.” Though she wore shorts over her bikini bottoms, it was clear that he appreciated her new swim look, and that, okay, maybe Tessa had been right on the mark.
She felt the compliment echoing through her breasts as she said, “Thanks,” the word coming out breathier than intended.
That was when Logan leaned in, gave her a warm, lingering hug, and a sweet kiss on the cheek that—oh my—she felt all the way to her toes. And in other places, too. In fact, she hadn’t felt anything move so profoundly and pleasurably through her body since . . . the last time Logan had touched her.
Amazing. She’d have guessed that after sex, something like a mere kiss on the cheek would have barely registered—and yet, she felt it so, so much. And it was in that precise moment when she heard Huey Lewis singing “The Power of Love,” on a radio down on the dock, and she understood it—the power of love—more than ever before.
And she knew: No matter what happens now, this is going to stay with me, forever. I will always love him. I will never not. And she knew other people got over lost loves—she’d watched friends go through it, believing it would never happen, that they’d never feel better, and then finally, one day, they did. But Amy just couldn’t imagine a time when she wouldn’t feel completely consumed by Logan’s presence, when she wouldn’t yearn for him, when seeing him wouldn’t cause a million different overwhelming emotions to erupt inside her.
“I’m grilling with Mike in the backyard,” he told her then. “Why don’t you guys join everybody else down on the dock and we’ll be down with the food when it’s ready.”
“Sounds good,” she replied.
And he said, “It’s nice to see you, freckles,” just before disappearing around the corner of the house, and her heartbeat sped up all over again.
“There, you see,” Tessa told her, wide-eyed but quietly. “Everything’s going to go great. This is going to be a wonderful day.”
They grabbed stuff from the trunk then—a small cooler, a couple of camp chairs, and swim bags—and headed to the bustling dock, which was currently flanked by the pontoon boat Amy knew Logan had borrowed from a neighbor for use at the party. Lucky and Mick sat talking nearby, beer cans in hand as they watched Lucky’s son, Johnny, who was eleven, tossing a tennis ball in the water for Cocoa to dive in after. She also spotted Adam and Sue Ann in the water—Sue Ann floated on an air mattress on her stomach while Adam perched near her face, his forearms balanced on the mattress’s pillow. Near the dock’s edge, Jenny and Rachel sat sunning on towels—along with Anna.
Anna, as predicted, looked stunning as usual, in a white bikini that made Amy feel downright drab on sight. She was pretty sure there wasn’t even the tiniest bump, bruise, or flaw of any kind on her entire body.
But when Rachel looked up with a smile to say, “Hey, girls, about time,” Amy pasted on her obligatory happy look and greeted everyone. Though she immediately discovered that she had trouble making eye contact with Anna today. Maybe so much had happened now in regards to them both vying for Logan’s attention that it was going to be more difficult to hide her resentment. Ugh.
“Spread out your towels and soak up the sun,” Rachel went on.
And Jenny said, “Amy, you look amazing. I love you in a two-piece.”
Amy felt the warmth of a blush climb her cheeks as she said, “Oh—um, thanks.”
Tessa and Amy both helped themselves to beverages—and though Amy seldom drank, she decided to go with the flow and reached for a wine cooler when Rachel pointed to the cooler containing them. After that, the girls chatted—about Rachel’s wedding just past and Tessa’s upcoming one, about what a gorgeous day it was, about the orchard, and Tessa’s interior design business, and how hungry they were getting waiting on Logan and Mike, who Rachel dubbed “the two grill masters.” Though Anna seemed quiet and mostly lay stretched out, eyes closed, looking intimidatingly gorgeous.
When Adam and Sue Ann got out of the water, Sue Ann looked Amy over, giving her a thumb’s up and a knowing nod. She moved her lips to say a silent, Hot!, which made Amy smile.
And yet, despite herself, Amy just didn’t quite feel at ease here today. She knew she should. These people were her friends, the gang she’d hung out with her entire life. And this was hardly the first swim party she’d been to with them given that Logan had hosted such get-togethers before and that Jenny had lived on the lake growing up, and again for the last few years ever since meeting Mick.
The only new factor she could think of was . . . well, Anna. And her love for Logan. And the fact that Anna had a thing for him, too. When she put all that together, she found herself suddenly scrunching up her nose—Logan had really thought a swim party with both her and Anna there had seemed like a good idea? He’d really thought it would put things back to normal?
Just then, Jenny looked to Anna, who sat, lean and tan, on her towel, staring across the lake as if in deep thought. “Anna, you seem quiet. Is everything okay?”
And Amy’s stomach pinched a little. Why was everyone always so concerned about Anna? No one seemed to notice that she might not be her usual, cheerful self. But then again, Anna lets it show more than I do. Amy couldn’t help starting to think that maybe Anna was something of a drama queen.
“Sure—just tired I guess,” Anna replied after a lengthy, theatrical pause.
And Amy couldn’t help wondering—tired from doing what? What does she even do all day?
When Jenny looked perplexed, pleasing Amy, Rachel chimed in to say, “I think it might be a little exhausting to become a full-fledged Romo without much warning. At least I knew what I was getting into.”
Everyone laughed lightly, just as Amy knew Rachel had intended, but Jenny turned things more serious again, still addressing Anna. “I’m sure it must still be hard for you, all this change.”
“And I’m sure Mike isn’t the easiest big brother to have,” Sue Ann added, having joined them while Adam went to check on the kids.
“You can say that again,” Anna replied, and everyone laughed. And Amy couldn’t help feeling still more annoyed. Maybe it made her some kind of ogre, but hadn’t Anna gotten enough attention by now? And sure, Amy knew that what had happened to her was tragic, but she never acted the least bit upset—she just pulled that quiet, brooding act that made her seem all sexy and aloof. Either that or she was Miss Outgoing, like the night she’d pulled Logan literally out of Amy’s grasp.
“So, Amy,” Tessa said, “any luck finding a home for Austen yet?” Of course, Tessa already knew the answer; she was clearly just trying to turn talk to something more lighthearted, which Amy appreciated.
“Not yet. And I still wonder if maybe I should keep her, but I’m still not sure if Knightley is up for a roommate. And I don’t think I’d feel good about having a permanent bookstore cat, either—because I thought of that, but I already feel bad leaving her there all alone at night. She needs a real home, not just a store to live in.”
“Everybody here is so into cats,” Anna observed then as if that were bizarre or something.
So Amy replied, with just a touch of pride, “I guess my love of cats has sort of worn off on my friends.”
“I’ve never really seen the appeal of a cat,” Anna said.
And Amy gasped as everyone else fell silent, all looking a little horrified. You just didn’t diss cats around Amy and all of Destiny knew it.
“Did I say something wrong?” Anna asked, eyebrows lifting slightly.
When no one answered right away, Rachel said, “I was never a cat person either, until I moved back here. But now . . . yeah, we kind of love our cats.”
Well, Amy certainly knew who Austen wouldn’t be going to live with. Anna Romo.
All in all, it was a welcome respite from the tension when Logan and Mike suddenly appeared, descending Logan’s yard and crossing Blue Valley Road toward the dock. “Dinner is served,” Mike said, carrying a platter of h
otdogs and hamburgers. Logan toted a casserole dish of baked beans between two pot holders.
“About time,” Lucky said teasingly, but Amy couldn’t agree more.
Everything else necessary for the meal had already been assembled on two card tables on the large dock, so within moments everyone was up and preparing their plates, grabbing napkins or plastic utensils, forking burgers onto buns. Everyone, Amy noticed, except for Anna, who she assumed preferred to wait for everyone else to finish.
“How’s your chicken look?” Logan asked Tessa, and she informed him it was perfect, thanking him for making something special to fit her dietary needs. Meanwhile, Amy spooned relish onto a hotdog and scooped some baked beans onto her plate.
“Anna, you want a burger or a dog?” Mike called to her.
“I’ll get something in a few minutes when everyone else is done,” she replied from her towel.
But Mike only repeated the question. “Burger or dog? I’m already over here—I can get it for you.”
And Amy felt sort of sick when Anna’s okay-you-win smile made her look even more breathtaking than usual. “All right, I’ll take a burger. You know what I like on it.”
Oh brother, Amy thought. Mike already knew how Anna fixed her hamburgers? But then again, she guessed she shouldn’t be surprised, given how much attention he paid her.
“Baked beans?” Logan asked then in her direction. “Chips?”
And as Anna answered him, Amy thought, Really? It takes two of you to fix her plate? Maybe Mike wasn’t the only one who treated her like she was still a little girl who couldn’t fend for herself. And Amy couldn’t even be mad at Anna for it. She could be jealous, though, and she supposed that was indeed the particular sting that vibrated through her chest at the moment. Logan had seemed so glad to see her—but right now, he didn’t seem to know she was alive.
A minute later, as Logan walked to where Anna sat, handing her the paper plate he and Mike had put together for her, he asked, “Need anything else?”
And Mike added, “Something to drink?”
Anna just laughed and said, “You guys are sweet, but I’m fine. I have a whole cooler full of drinks right here next to me.”
Amy was thinking she might need another one of those drinks, her wine cooler bottle almost empty now as she took her seat back on her towel, plate in hand, when Mike added, “Well, if you need anything else, just let me know.”
And Amy heard herself say, “Sheesh,” the sound coming out of her completely unbidden.
“What?” Logan asked her.
Amy blinked, caught off guard, by both her reaction and his. “Well, I’m just sure Anna is capable of taking care of herself,” she told him. “It’s not like she’s an invalid.”
And she’d hoped someone might laugh, or chime in their agreement—but no one did. Instead, Logan only said, “I’m just being nice, Amy.”
And her stomach pinched even more now. Because she’d just sounded like a jerk. For maybe the first time in her life. She wasn’t quite sure how that had happened. “Of course. I didn’t mean anything. I just thought maybe it would bug Anna.”
Though clearly it didn’t.
Conversation through dinner stayed light yet felt awkward and a little forced, and Amy wondered if that was her fault. And rather than ask Anna to pass her another wine cooler, even though the cooler containing them was indeed right next to her, she got up, walked over, and fetched one herself.
“Another wine cooler, huh?” Tessa asked.
“They’re good,” Amy said, feeling a little defensive. Everyone else could drink, but the moment she chose to without being prodded, even her good friends felt the need to question her on it?
After the meal, though, the mood finally seemed to lighten for real. Which was a relief, to say the least. The guys offered to clean up, and the girls decided to go swimming. Well, all the girls except for Anna. Not that it was a big deal. But Amy thought that Anna just never seemed to want to do what the rest of them were doing.
“After cleanup,” Logan announced, “we’ll take the pontoon out before it gets dark. Maybe watch the sunset from out on the lake.”
The smaller kids cheered at this, whereas Lucky’s boy, Johnny, seemed much more interested in the here and now, calling out, “Hey, watch this!” and then running to do a cannonball off the end of the dock and into the water with a loud splash.
“Can you keep an eye on him, babe?” Lucky called to Tessa as he scooped up some empty serving plates and platters, ready to head toward the cottage.
Fortunately, once she was in the water with the girls, Amy finally got her mind off Anna and ugly things like jealousy. She angled her body crossways on one of the blow-up mattresses, sharing it with Sue Ann’s daughter, and they kicked their legs beneath the surface to propel themselves around.
Meanwhile, Sue Ann kept a close watch on Adam’s twins, who floated on colored swim noodles—when they weren’t using them to hit each other. And Rachel and Johnny threw a Nerf football back and forth as Tessa and Jenny talked weddings and about life changes in general.
“Lucky’s officially moving in to my cabin, and we might add a room or two on the back,” Tessa explained. “And we’ll eventually transition his house into offices for both our businesses.” Lucky already ran a lucrative custom motorcycle painting business out of his garage, and Tessa’s interior design business was expanding all the time. In fact, Amy knew that soon Tessa would probably quit working at the bookstore and Amy would need to find someone else to take her part-time hours. And she was thrilled that Tessa’s work—and her life in general—was going so well, but she would miss the easy camaraderie she felt having Tessa in the bookshop with her.
Changes. So many changes in the lives of all her friends the past few years. And changes for her, too, lately. Which she’d decided she wanted, needed. But they just didn’t seem to be going her way. Sure, all of her friends had encountered big problems and conflicts on their paths to true love, but none of them had ever had to deal with another woman in the picture, let alone a figure so equally tragic and beautiful as Anna Romo.
“You quit kicking,” Sophie accused her then.
Amy flinched, having gotten lost in thought. “Oh, sorry.”
Sophie tilted her head. “I can’t kick hard enough by myself to keep us going,”
But Amy just teased her. “Oh, I bet you could if you tried.”
And things got easier, happier again. And Amy realized that . . . well, she had plenty of great things and people in her life, regardless of what happened with Logan. So I just won’t think about him that way for the rest of the day. Maybe he was right, maybe a get-together with their friends could make things feel a little bit normal again. As long as she focused on the positive anyway.
“Well, Soph, I think my kicking legs are about exhausted—I’m ready to get out. How about you?”
“Yeah, mine are worn out, too,” Sophie agreed, so together, they swam their mattress toward the dock’s ladder.
“Up you go,” Amy said, watching as Sophie maneuvered her way onto the dock in an adorable pink and white polka dot swimsuit. Sophie took the blow-up mattress from Amy, pulling it up onto the dock, dripping, and Amy followed, climbing the ladder herself.
And the first thing she saw was—dear God—Anna and Logan sitting on the dock alone together, looking downright cozy as Anna said to him, “Do my back?” She then passed him a bottle of sunscreen. In response, he obediently scooted his way behind her, squirting lotion into his palm as she held her long hair out of the way.
They talked quietly, both smiling, and Amy couldn’t hear the rest of what they were saying, but she didn’t have to. Her blood boiled anyway. And worse than that, her heart hurt. And maybe even worse still, she felt . . . stupid. To instantly realize she was the obvious loser in this love triangle she’d unwittingly gotten herself into. And after she’d actually felt a little hope upon getting here, getting that sweet kiss on the cheek from Logan. It felt . . . cruel suddenly, to
be invited here only to watch the guy she loved flirting with another girl. Even touching her now.
As quickly as she could, though, she yanked her eyes away and back onto Sophie, so that if one or both of them noticed her, she wouldn’t be caught staring, or appearing the least bit concerned with them whatsoever.
“Something to drink, Soph?” she asked softly—and soon enough, she sensed in her peripheral vision that Logan did look up as he finished the sunscreen application.
But Amy just kept talking, focusing on Sophie and on the soft drink she’d just gotten for her from one of the coolers, pretending for all she was worth that Logan and Anna were the last things on her mind.
Even though what she’d seen still stung like crazy.
Even though she wanted nothing more than to run away, from the dock, from the lake, from him, from all her friends, from all of this.
She wanted to run away to some imaginary place where some great guy might actually think she was a really great girl, and might actually fall in love with her. Was it so bad to want, just once in her life, to know what it was to be truly and deeply loved?
Something inside her was breaking. She could feel it, cracking, snapping. But as usual, she kept smiling as she talked more with Sophie, chatting about her cat, Dickens; she kept smiling as the others then began piling out of the water, laughing, talking, stretching out on towels to dry—just as the rest of the guys returned from the cottage, as well.
“When do we get to ride in the boat?” Adam’s son, Joey, asked eagerly as Adam tossed each boy a towel.
“We can leave in a few minutes, as soon as everybody dries off,” Logan said. “We should get going before the sun goes behind the woods.” Indeed, the sun had begun to dip toward the horizon, and a glance up reminded Amy that sunset came earlier on the lake due to the trees and hilly landscape.
