by Abby Brooks
We get our food—sandwiches and salads all around—and find a table near a window. The cafeteria is small but not crowded and despite my best efforts to keep this lunch date sterile, it feels intimate instead. I expect Ty to jump right into talking about Gabe, but he doesn’t.
“So, I have to know because this has bothered me for years. Why was a woman like you in Key West alone?” He unwraps his sandwich and takes a bite.
“You know? I never really have figured out why I took that vacation. I felt this need to sit by the beach, alone with my thoughts, and take some time to figure out … I don’t know. Everything, I guess.” I tear a bite off my sandwich. “I had all this stuff I needed to do but I was stuck in my routine. I had a sense that day after day I kept making the same mistakes, but I didn’t even know what they were. I thought if I could break the pattern and take some time to be alone and stare out at something bigger than me, I would figure out what I was doing wrong.”
“Did it work?”
“I definitely came home with a very different life than the one I left. My patterns have never been the same since.” I hit Ty with a look and instantly regret what I said. I meant to make a joke but it quite obviously fell flat. “Why were you in Key West?” I ask, desperate to change the subject.
“Similar reasons, really.” Ty puts down his sandwich. “I needed a breather. A chance to unwind. A chance to stare out at the sea and feel small because the world was in the middle of being exceptionally big and heavy. And then I saw you and nothing else had meaning. Not the sea. Not the weight of the world. It was just you and me and we were all that mattered in the history of things that matter.”
“Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?” I pop a bite of sandwich into my mouth. His words overwhelm me and I might as well be right back in Key West, falling head over heels for a guy I barely know.
“I am,” Ty says. “I did. I thought I had my shit together, but you rocked my world in your little red bikini.” He cocks his head to the side. “It matched your lips.”
“You’re really hung up on that lipstick.”
“Of course I’m hung up on that lipstick. Very few women can pull off that shade of red. Either their lips are shaped wrong or their skin is the wrong color or they have the right mouth and coloring, but their personalities are off.” He shakes his head and leans on the table. “Think about it. When someone describes a classic Mustang, all restored and shining and magnificent, looking as sexy as a car can look, what color is it? Close your eyes and imagine it. What color is it?”
I let out a little laugh. “Red.”
He shakes his head. “Not just red but…”
“Cherry red,” I finish.
“Exactly. And what about when you think of something dangerous, what color do you think of?”
“Red.” I fold my arms on the table, leaning closer to him. “So, hold on a second. Are you trying to tell me I’m a boring old car or I’m something that needs a warning label?”
“First of all, there’s nothing boring about a fully restored classic Mustang. Second of all, you’re totally missing the point. That car? It’s beautiful, right? When it comes rolling down the street, people stare as it approaches and then turn around to watch it go. I bet when you imagined it, you envisioned a convertible didn’t you.” He waits for me to nod. “Exactly,” he says, pointing a finger my way. “And convertibles are fun. And the red is sexy as hell, with just enough danger to get your adrenaline pumping. That’s you. Beautiful. Eye-catching. Fun, and sexy as hell.” He smiles. “And you definitely need to come with a warning label.”
I need a moment after that so I grab my bottle of water, unscrew the cap, and take a long drink. “You’re just as charming as I remember you,” I say when I’m done.
His eyes light up and it makes it hard to breathe. He’s so handsome, it’s not fair to men and women alike. “I like that you remember me.”
“I had a really good time with you and I thought I had found someone special. Someone who understood me. And when I found out you were from Brookside, too? Well, I started wondering if maybe the whole reason I felt so pulled to go down to Key West was to meet you. Like…” I shake my head. “Never mind. It’s all just a lot of silly, existential nonsense anyway.”
“It’s not nonsense. Not even a little bit.” Tyler balls up his napkin and squeezes it in his fist. “What’s he like? Gabe? Is he a good boy?”
I take a breath, suddenly uncomfortable. “He is. He’s energetic and gets himself into trouble because he can’t sit still, but he’s sweet and does his best to take care of me.” I let out a little laugh. “Which is ridiculous because I’m the one who is supposed to take care of him.”
“If he’s anything like me, he’s got a protective streak a mile wide.”
“Oh, I’d say it’s at least five miles wide and expanding by the minute.” I sit back and look at my hands. “He’s smart. Probably too smart for his own good.” I trail off, unsure how to sum up the last six years of my son’s life.
“I can’t wait to get to know him.”
I widen my eyes. “Get to know him? How did we go from me being a sexy Mustang that needs a warning label to you crashing into Gabe’s life?” My reaction is extreme and it might not be right, but it sure isn’t wrong. Gabe is fine. The last thing he needs is a giant upheaval in the form of a random father-figure appearing out of nowhere.
“Lexi. He’s my son.”
“No. He’s my son. You helped make him but he has no idea who you are. Can you imagine the kind of damage it might do for you to pop into his life only to pop right back out of it again in a week?”
“It’s not ideal, but…” He shakes his head. “He’s my son.”
“We’ve established that.” I sit back and hold up my hands. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to lash out and you haven’t done anything wrong. Apparently, Gabe got his protective streak from the both of us and right now, mine is all flared up and I can’t think straight around it. I would lay down my life for that boy.”
“But I’m not the enemy here. You don’t have to lay down your life because I’m not trying to hurt him. I only want to get to know him,” Ty says. “I deserve a chance to know Gabe.”
“I know. You do. I’m not arguing with that at all. I just worry about all the disruption it will add to his life, especially with you leaving again so soon. There has to be a way to do this that’s good for everyone.”
Ty sits back and lets out a long breath. “You have no way to know this about me, but when I imagined having kids, I was always there from the get go. You know, I would get to hold him the day he was born. His little hands would grip my fingers when he learned to walk and I’d teach him to stand up again after he fell off his bike the first time. You’ve had six years to get used to being a mom. I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that I’m a dad, let alone the kind of dad who was gone for six fucking years and missed all of those things.”
“I’m sorry you missed all of that. I really am.” I reach out and lay my hand on his. “I’m at such a loss here. I really want to do the right thing. This is such a confusing disaster made all the harder by the fact that I think you might actually be a good guy.
Ty closes his eyes and nods. “I’m sorry, too. And I promise you, I’m a good guy.” He lets out a long breath. “Can I please see him? Can I please see you? Can I please see the both of you together? He doesn’t have to know I’m his dad and you don’t have to agree to date me, but I can’t wrap my head around finding the two of you and then never seeing you again.”
I rearrange the items on my cafeteria tray so they’re all perpendicular and spaced equal distances from each other while I consider what to say next. I thrive on neatness and order and never, ever sit still easily.
Tyler leans forward. “And here I go getting all existential, but who’s to say that the call you felt to go to Key West by yourself wasn’t some kind of divine intervention?” Tyler smiles. “Maybe the timing wasn’t perfect, maybe I missed out on a
lot and you guys had to figure out a lot on your own, but I’m here now and maybe, just maybe, this is exactly the way it’s supposed to happen.”
I take a long breath in through my nose. “Fine,” I say and then let it out.
“Fine what?”
“Fine, you can see him.”
“And you?”
“I’ll be there, too.”
Ty’s face lights up. “Really? You mean it? Oh, Lexi. This is great. I mean, it’s amazing. When? How? Tonight?” He looks so hopeful, it warms my heart. He really is adorable.
I shift and the cheap pleather cushion creaks in protest. “Tomorrow. Gabe and I have plans to meet Michelle and her daughter Claire at The Commons. It’s one of those open-air mall things. There’s a fountain in the middle set up so kids can run and play in it. You could catch a ride with Michelle and hang out with us there. If you want.”
I wait for him to try and talk me into something more intimate but he doesn’t.
“That’s perfect.” He grips both of my hands in his and my nerve-endings go off like fireworks. “Thank you, Lexi.” He pulls me to my feet and wraps his arms around me. I breathe him in and his scent brings me right back to Key West and the way he felt inside me. I lost myself to him that night. Head thrown back. Eyes closed. Nails digging into his skin. Shrieking his name like a banshee for anyone and everyone to hear.
And now, standing in my scrubs in the cafeteria at work, I can’t think of anything else. My body melts as he draws me even closer. I pull back just a fraction of an inch, just enough to look into his eyes but damn it, I can’t stop myself from looking at his mouth. I want those lips on mine. I want to taste the salt on his skin while he devours me. I angle my head and consider kissing him.
He clears his throat and steps away, creating deliberate space between us. “I’m sorry,” he says and then clears his throat.
I want to tell him not to apologize. I want him to sweep me up and carry me off to some private place where we can do private things. “Me too,” I murmur instead.
“So, I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” His eyes lock on mine.
“Yep.” I wrap my arms around my stomach. “I’m looking forward to it.”
Tyler grins at me. “Me too.” He grabs both of our trays off the table and carries them to the trash before thanking me for seeing him and sauntering towards the exit. I stare after him, appreciating his powerful build and the confident way he holds his chin—God bless the US Marine Corps, am I right?
TY
Gabe streaks across the grass towards the fountain, his arms and legs pumping furiously. He stops to karate chop the water and then laughs righteously when a jet surprises him and hits him in the face. A lump forms in my throat as I watch him. My son. Mine. If his facial features aren’t enough to prove it, his behavior is. This kid encapsulates everything that makes me who I am. He’s a strong case for the nature part of the nature vs. nurture debate.
He takes off at top speed again, chasing after Claire who laughs wildly as she darts across the grass. He passes her easily and then takes a corner too sharply and runs right into the girl. They crash down onto the grass, legs and arms tangled up in each other. Gabe is up almost as soon as he’s down. He helps Claire stand, brushes grass off her knees, and checks to make sure she’s okay before helping her over to the fountain to wash off the rest of the grass stains.
“That pretty much sums up all you need to know about Gabe.” Lexi looks up at me, her blue eyes filled to the brim with love for her son. Our son. “He’s energetic and competitive and chivalrous and eager to do the right thing. Well. He’s eager to do the right thing as long as it’s his right thing.”
I stare at the boy and nod once. “So, in other words, he’s just like me.”
Lexi arches an eyebrow. “If you say so.”
The fountain at The Commons is surrounded by grass which is circled by a sidewalk with benches spaced periodically around the perimeter. There’s a small stage set up and, according to Lexi, local musicians come to play each night in the summer. They’re not always good, she said to me when we arrived, but they’re not always bad either. Right now, the group setting up on the stage has me pretty sure we’re in for the former instead of the latter.
Lexi and I sit on a blanket in the grass with David and Michelle sharing their own blanket beside us while they play with their three-month-old son, Thomas. The sky is blue and the sun is shining and all around us, people have gathered to sit with friends and laugh as their kids splash and play. The atmosphere is low-key and about as threatening as a guinea pig, but I still regularly scan the crowd, looking for anything and anyone out of place. I don’t expect anything dangerous to happen here, but you can’t live the life I live without learning that the worst things happen when you least expect them.
“Was it weird?” Lexi asks, her eyes focused on Gabe. “When I introduced you to him as my friend?”
“The whole thing is surreal.” I watch Gabe play and swallow down the emotions writhing inside me. “I understand why you aren’t ready to tell him who I am. I might not like it. I’m not sure if I agree with it. But I understand.”
She turns to me, squinting against the sun. Her hair is up in a ponytail and she’s dressed in shorts and a tank top. The low effort look is supposed to tell me that she doesn’t feel a need to impress me. It doesn’t matter. I’m impressed anyway. It doesn’t matter if she’s wearing a bikini, or shorts, or a cocktail dress and heels, she’s captivating.
“He likes you,” she says, indicating Gabe with a little nod of her head.
“How can you tell?”
Gabe runs up to us and drops down in front of me, water dripping from his eyelashes. “Check it out. I found a four-leaf clover.” He opens his fist to display the crumpled bit of green in his palm.
“That’s awesome.” I pick up the clover and verify that yes, it does indeed have four leaves. “How did you find it?”
“I fell and it was just right there.” He shrugs. “I’m just lucky, I guess.”
I hand it back to him. “Sounds like a great problem to have.”
My son beams at me as he puzzles out my words and then laughs. “You can keep it,” he says, gesturing to the clover and then sprinting off towards the fountain again.
“That’s how I know,” Lexi says when he’s gone, settling back on her elbows. “Gabe doesn’t waste time with people he doesn’t like and he definitely doesn’t give away finds like that to some random guy he just met.”
I shift and pull my wallet out of my back pocket and slide the clover inside. “Well, good. I like him, too.” I put my wallet back in my pocket as the band on stage strikes up a few wobbly chords.
“Oh, sweet Jesus.” Michelle leans around me to raise her eyebrows at Lexi. “Thank goodness Liam isn’t here or he’d be having a fit right now. He can’t stand it when the music is bad,” she explains to me.
Lexi nods, laughing, as the lead singer leans into the microphone. His stomach is too soft for the skinny jeans he’s wearing and his hair is too thin for the hipster haircut he thinks he’s pulling off. “Good evening, Brookside!” His voice booms through the speakers and a loud screech of feedback causes baby Thomas to startle and frown. The people gathered react with lukewarm enthusiasm and the band lurches into a song. It’s not good. Not at all, but that’s not enough to keep me from having a good time. If anything, it’ll only spur me on to find a way to make the night even better.
I stand and offer Lexi my hand. “Dance with me.”
Her eyes go wide. “Where?”
I gesture towards the grass in front of the stage. “There.”
“No way.” She shakes her head. “Not in front of all these people.”
“What does it matter how many people are here?”
“Because I don’t know how to dance and don’t want to make a fool of myself.” She looks away, as if breaking eye contact is enough to make me go away.
“You won’t make a fool of yourself. Not with me around.” I bend
down and take her hand, pulling her to her feet. “All you have to do is follow my lead.”
Lexi shakes her head again. “I promise you, I can’t dance.”
“And I promise you, you can dance well enough for this.” I lift my eyebrows as the lead singer massacres a drawn-out high note.
“Fine,” she says with a little laugh. “But if I see anyone making fun of me, I will hold you personally responsible.”
“Oh, ye of little faith. No one is going to laugh at you. In fact, I predict that you and I will have so much fun, we won’t be the only ones dancing for long.” I pull her away from the safety of the blankets and into my arms.
“Yeah?” She puts her arms around my shoulders. “Feel like putting your money where your mouth is?”
“Always.” I lead her through a series of steps, spinning her out away from me and then pulling her right back into my body. “I bet we will have fifteen more couples out here by the time these guys finish their set.”
“Fifteen! That’s awfully ambitious.” She gasps as I wrap an arm around her waist and push her body against mine.
“And if I’m right, you have to go out to dinner with me.” I lower my face to hers.
“And if you’re wrong?”
I pull back and cock my head to the side. “Then I have to go to dinner with you.”
Lexi laughs. “So, no matter what, we’re going to dinner.”
“Exactly. It’s a win win situation.”
“For who?”
I spin her again and then pull her close. “For us.”
She doesn’t agree, but she doesn’t disagree either. When I try to claim my victory, she’ll use her silence as a way to avoid coming to dinner with me, but the mere fact that she didn’t come right out and say no tells me I’ve already won. She’s scared of me. Scared of whatever this is between us. All I need is time with her to prove that she has nothing to be scared of when it comes to the two of us. A couple joins us on the field.
“There’s one.” I spin her so she can see the laughing duo.
