by C. T. Phipps
Pinehold actually wasn’t that bad of a place to work. The place was massive with its own casino, spa, hot springs, wilderness retreats, mini-mansion cabins, three pools, and golf course. It catered to everyone from high rollers to locals passing through. The place was a kind of weird “rustic chic” that made it feel very much like a shapeshifter’s residence while also having all the luxuries of civilization.
The place had also had a massive spike in business since the Big Bad Wolf had been banished. It was too soon to tell, but the place used to have trouble filling half its rooms and it had been jam-packed since my arrival. While there were simpler explanations for why this happened than the curse being lifted, like a convention was being hosted here or two, I couldn’t help but think there was more to it than that.
My phone made a deer bleat, which told me someone was texting me. Putting my next tray of dishes into the steam washer, I picked it up and looked at it. I half expected it would be another entreaty from my parents to come home. Instead, it was Lucien. “HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE DINNER TONIGHT?”
I texted him back. “CAN’T. WORKING.”
“THERE WILL BE CHERRY PIE.”
I paused, debating whether I should turn him down for all the various reasons that ranged from him being a drug dealer to him being a big ol’ drug dealer. I made a mental note that we were not going to have sex. Probably. Dammit, I did not think that last part! Sighing, I texted him back. “MAYBE.”
His response was, “DEER CANNOT RESIST CHERRY PIE.”
I smirked then texted him back. “THAT IS A STEREOTYPE. ALSO TRUE.”
He sent me an emoji of a dragon breathing fire.
“You going out with Lucien?” Emma asked behind me.
I jumped and almost dropped my cellphone. “Gah! Stop with your ninja-wolf moves.”
Emma giggled behind me. It was a welcome release after a weekend of worrying about her hating me. “Aren’t you possessed of super-hearing?”
“I will buy a dog whistle to torment you,” I said, turning around.
Emma was dressed in a beige Pinehold maid’s outfit with a green vest and white apron. A little nametag was on her lapel. “You are too cruel.”
I wanted to hug her but felt yucky and gross after working for the past three hours. “How…how are you?”
Emma hugged me anyway. “I’ve been working hard. Sorry, I haven’t been able to see anyone. It’s been cleaning, college, and back to cleaning.”
“They have you working as a housekeeper?” I asked, surprised to see my super-rich friend doing the labor of us poor working class shapeshifters.
“All of my credit cards have been cut up,” Emma said, not sounding the slightest bit upset. “Grandfather Marcus didn’t react well to my refusal to get married to a nice werewolf boy from Utah.”
“How did you react?” I asked.
“I bit his hand,” Emma said, smiling. “Alice gave me the job at three times the normal salary, though. She said she always wanted to do that.”
I frowned at her. “My sympathy is less than it could be with that revelation.”
“Says the lady getting a free room,” Emma said.
“Point taken,” I said. “I still have to pay for my meals, though.”
“Oh you poor thing!” Emma said. “Besides, three times a housekeeper’s normal salary is still crap.”
I snorted at that. “But yes, it must be a tough time for you.”
“It is,” Emma said, frowning. “They still haven’t gotten around to doing Victoria’s funeral. That’s not happening until Friday. Christopher is back, but he’s been spending a lot of time in his study. He even met with Agent Timmons a few times.”
“Alex is still here?” I asked, surprised.
“You didn’t know?” Emma said, equally surprised.
I frowned and pulled out the dishes to start stacking them. “No, Alex and I went on a date but it was super awkward when he got interrupted three times to talk about dead bodies. His boss at the FBI is a real battle ax.”
“Damn, I’m sorry,” Emma said.
“It was still nice,” I said, thinking about how he’d been a perfect gentleman.
Which sucked.
“So you are going to date Lucien despite the fact he wants to kill your—” Emma started to say.
“Let’s put that fact in a box,” I said, putting my hands up in front of her mouth. “A box we bury in the backyard with all your bones and squeaky toys.”
“That’s racist…and funny.”
“I’m sorry for what I said.”
“It’s okay,” Emma said, before biting her lip. “I just don’t like being weak anymore. I want to be strong and stand up to the people who hurt me. You and Victoria inspired me to be better.”
I tried to rationalize how in the world Victoria’s crazy demon worship cult plan was anything to be admired before just nodding my head. “If you want to change, then I will support you in this. We’re best friends forever, Emma. Through thick and thin, rain or sleet, as well as the occasional journey through Hell.”
“Yeah, let’s not do that again.”
“Oh, you didn’t even go through there! You just got kidnapped by evil.”
“Let’s not do that either.”
I was about to talk more about events when Alice O’Henry walked into the room. It was easy to tell when she did because it was like a light going off in the room. Remember how I said most shapeshifter women were ridiculously beautiful? Yeah, when Alice was the one whom the other O’Henry women called “the pretty one.” You can start by imagining a buxom Nicole Kidman in an Italian business suit dress and you’d be off to a good start.
Uncomfortably, in a dress only slightly less fashionable and very clearly a knock-off of Alice’s, was my sister. She had her hair in a ponytail and was wearing window glasses (shapeshifters didn’t need corrective lenses) while holding an iPad.
“What in the world,” I said, looking at my sister.
Alice walked over to us with my sister following along.
“Good evening, Ms. Doe,” Alice said. “Emma.”
“Uh, hey,” I said.
“Hi Alice,” Emma said, blinking, “I see you got your new assistant.”
“Ms. Doe.” Alice blinked as if trying to figure out how to differentiate us. “Jeanine is working out to my satisfaction. Thank you for recommending her.”
“Wow, you rock, Emma,” I said, turning to my friend.
“Thanks,” Emma said, smiling.
“Does this mean you’re back with Brad?” I asked.
Jeanine gave me a withering stare. “No, he made his own choice. However, Mrs. O’Henry-Ford knows talent when she sees it.”
I had to wonder about that since my sister hadn’t attended college and had been a grade-C student. It wasn’t that Jeanine wasn’t smart, she was my mother’s heir after all, it was just she didn’t give a crap. Then again, I imagined a magic-using assistant who could open or close portals to hell was always in high demand.
“Congratulations,” I said, wondering if Alice cared what that would do to her nephew. I’d seen Brad once since my stay at Pinehold when he’d wandered past the kitchen, completely loaded, and looking miserable.
Alice reached over and put her hand underneath my chin. “Your work here, Ms. Doe, has also been adequate. You know, there’s ways you can make a lot more money here than just cleaning dishes and rooms.”
Emma growled.
Alice smiled at Emma like she was being cute. “I meant working the blackjack tables. It’s always best to put someone small and adorable there.”
Way to reverse a compliment there. “Don’t I have to be twenty-one for that?”
“Only if you gamble,” Alice said, chuckling. “Think on it.”
“I will,” I said, wondering why Emma was giving her sister the stink eye. Even Jeanine looked uncomfortable with that.
“Oh, that reminds me,” Alice said, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a magnetic card room key. “The
man staying in the presidential suite asked for you by name. Please go attend to him.”
I was about to ask who, but didn’t know that many people who could afford that. Was Lucien trying to surprise me? If so, that was uncalled for. Albeit, if he had cherry pie waiting for me then all was forgiven.
Alice looked at Emma. “I’m very proud of you, Emma. You’ve done an amazing job stepping up. You could have a very bright future in the family business.”
“You’re not my mother, Alice,” Emma said.
“Neither is your mother,” Alice said, leaning over and giving Emma an unwelcome kiss on the cheek before departing.
I watched her depart with a sexy sway of her hips. My sister followed close behind, like Marcie did Peppermint Patty.
“Okay, what the hell was that all about?” I asked, looking over at Emma.
“You mean your sister being my aunt’s Smithers or the offer?” Emma asked.
“Either. Both.”
Emma shrugged. “Alice wants to be Clan Lord of the werewolves when Grandpa is gone. She’s got the money for it. Her own money too. Enough to bribe most of the elders in other states to overlook the fact she’s a woman. However, she’s afraid of being taken out by a witch. Having one beside her in permanent employ works for her, especially after Victoria’s death.”
“Plus,” I paused, not sure how to bring this up, “she’s kind of your sister.”
“Heavy on the kind-of,” Emma said, revealing she knew. “Jeremy told me.”
“Wait, what?” I asked. “When did he tell you?”
Emma paused. “When I was buying Sparkle from him.”
I felt my head and cursed my brother to several different hells. “Nobody in this town learns a damned thing.”
“It helps me study!” Emma grimaced. “Besides, Jeremy promised he was getting out of it! He just, you know, wanted to know if I wanted it.”
“Where did you meet him?”
“The Lyons Pit,” Emma said, uncomfortable. “Sunday. Before I started working here. I was trying to see if I could get a date with a girl.”
“Did you?” I asked, not wanting to condemn my friend.
Emma beamed.
“You dog,” I said, chuckling. “Well, I’m not happy about you still being into that or my brother still dealing drugs. I hope Lucien kicks Jeremy and Maria to the curb about that. They don’t need that kind of trouble.”
Emma muttered something about my being an afterschool special.
“What was that?” I said, holding out my ear with a hand cupped around it. “Deer ears pick up something.”
“Nothing,” Emma said, blinking. “Oh, you should take your break now.”
I nodded and went to the punch clock before calling over to Chef Robert the Omnipotent (he was apparently a cooking-show chef for like a minute) that I was doing an errand for Alice. I got a string of profanity in return that I took as his acceptance.
“What was the other thing about?” I said, going into the side room to change into my housekeeper uniform, closing the door between us.
Emma didn’t answer until I came out, looking almost identical to her except for a couple of cup sizes.
“Don’t ever take Alice’s offer for extra work,” Emma said, looking me up and down appreciatively.
“Why’s that?” I asked, putting my hands my hips.
Emma grimaced. “Errr, let’s just say Alice runs a number of specialized services for the guests.”
My eyes widened. “Your sister is a madam?”
“I’m sure she’d say otherwise,” Emma said. “She’d be shocked, shocked to find drugs and prostitution going on at Pinehold. However, let’s just say Lucien and she have a relationship far more comfortable than one should exist when he’s trying to destroy my family.”
“I think he’s only trying to destroy Marcus.”
“He should get in line,” Emma said, gesturing for me to take the lead. “But in a way you should be flattered. I mean, she totally thinks men (and women) would pay to have sex with you.”
“Yeah, I’ll pass,” I said, listening to Taylor Swift’s “Out of the Woods” as we exited the kitchen into the grand wooden halls of Pinehold. The floor had a fine green carpet and the air smelled incredibly fresh. That was due to them pumping oxygen into the casino so people were more likely to stay up and gamble. “Lucien being a pimp in addition to dealing drugs is another reason why I’m totally going to text him I don’t want to date him. After my cherry pie, of course.”
“You fiend!” Emma said. “But you really should consider him. He’s got a lot of great qualities.”
“What are you, his agent?” I asked.
“Well, it’s just I was seeing Deana that night and—”
“Oh sweet White Stag Jesus figure,” I muttered, rubbing my temples.
“What?” Emma said. “She’s awesome!”
Thankfully, it wasn’t a far walk to the presidential suite. Knocking on the door, I said, “Housekeeping. It is, I, Jane the Magnificent.”
No answer.
I slid my key into the door handle and saw the light flash green. That allowed me to open it. A man’s hand reached around the door, grabbed me by the arm, and pulled me in. Dammit, it never ends!
Chapter Twenty-Five
Despite being a hundred pounds soaking wet, I was a weredeer and that meant I throw around humans three times my size. I was about ready to do so when I smelled Agent Timmons’s cologne and blinked. It was a brand that smelled a bit like a forest and immediately caused me to stop struggling. That was when Emma pushed her way in and grabbed my attacker’s arm then bit down hard onto it.
“Emma, what are you doing?” Alex said, looking down on her. He was wearing a blood-splattered white button-down dress shirt over black slacks. It was half-open and covered in sweat from what I assumed to be a recent struggle.
Emma looked up from where she was holding his arm with her teeth to no reaction. She let go by opening her mouth wide and stepping back. “I’m rescuing Jane.”
Alex let go of me and dusted off his hand. “I don’t think that will be necessary. I apologize for pulling you in but I didn’t want to be seen.”
I smelled blood in the air then looked over at Emma who did the same. Someone was injured in this room, though it didn’t seem to be Alex. I wanted to look at the bed but couldn’t see past Alex from this angle.
“Okay,” Emma said, closing the door behind her. “Uh, why didn’t I take off your arm?”
“Were you trying to?” Alex asked Emma.
“Yea,” Emma said. “Doggy death shake.”
“Please don’t,” Alex said.
“But how—”
“Magic,” Alex said.
“Ask a stupid question,” Emma muttered.
I managed to get around Alex and headed to the bedroom of the presidential suite, getting a good look at the source of the blood smell. Much to my surprise, I found a makeshift hospital where Maria was lying on the blood-soaked silk sheets with the breakfast table covered in everything from bandages to sterilization equipment. She looked like she’d been stabbed, but as a shapeshifter, she should have been fine. Except if the weapon had been silver or magical. Then I saw the sacrificial dagger on the table behind a roll of bandages.
Oh crap.
“Hi Jane,” Maria said, flapping an arm in my direction. “Could you move out of the way? I’m watching The Bachelor on Hulu.”
I stared in horror. “What the hell happened to you? Was it the Big Bad Wolf?”
“Yep!” Maria said, continuing to gesture for me to move. “Just when you think you’re out, it keeps pulling us back in.”
I felt my head and stared at the ground. “Oh hell.”
“Move!” Maria said.
I stepped three feet to my right.
“Thank you!” Maria said. “Rose ceremony!”
Emma popped her way past Alex as well, staring at the sight. “What happened?”
“I decided to stay for a few more days to m
ake sure things were worked out,” Alex said, turning around. “I also wasn’t sure the Big Bad Wolf was defeated. I turned out to be right, as it made another play for the survivors.”
I immediately thought about my brother. “Is Jeremy all right?”
“I don’t know,” Alex said, closing his eyes regretfully. “I contacted your mother to make sure he was warned, but I moved Maria here to treat her after driving off the demon’s host.”
“Who?” I asked, wondering whom we’d missed.
Alex opened his mouth to make a dramatic pronouncement.
“Emma’s goddamn brother-murdering aunt, that’s who!” Maria said, looking away from the television. “I’m so mad, I can’t even appreciate the fact Chris has been kicked off the show!”
“What, really?” I turned to look at the screen before realizing Emma needed me. I’d planned to binge watch it this weekend.
“Clara?” Emma said, covering her mouth. “No, that’s not possible.”
“I’m afraid so,” Alex said, closing his eyes. “Worse, she’s possessed not just by the Big Bad Wolf but Victoria’s specter. It’s why it’s able to do it despite her not being involved in the coven. Clara is a blood relation. It’s loophole abuse of the laws of magic.”
Maria nodded and sipped a Coca Cola she took from the nightstand. “It sucks because Alex went to all the trouble of purifying us of our witch’s marks too. That should have been the end of it.”
“You are way too cheery for being stabbed,” I said.
“Did you know healing spells make you high as a kite?” Maria asked.
“Uh, no,” I said, blinking.
“They totes do!” Maria said, smiling. “The warm love and benevolence of a non-evil deity’s blessing! It’s like pot, only better!”
“You know healing magic?” I asked, still turning over the fact the sheriff was possessed and this disaster wasn’t over. Healing magic was one of the rarest Gifts because it took a special kind of person to do it. My mother was absolute crap at it despite excelling in nearly all other disciplines.
“A little,” Alex said, regretful. “I can only do the basics. To be a true healer requires a genuinely good soul. I have taken human life before and will do so again. That leaves me unable to learn the higher mysteries. Impure.”
